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999blee999

"I couldn't make…you…I couldn't make you love me."

Maka stood, unmoving, next to Soul's hospital bed. His words to her before he had slumped over replayed endlessly in her mind. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the image in the kitchen out of her head. What had he been thinking? No, she knew exactly what he had been thinking. How could she have let it happen? Memories came flooding into her being, all of them instances where she should have seen what was wrong.

"Hey, Maka? Can- can I ask you something?"

"Can you make it quick, Soul? I'm gonna be late."

She should have seen the pain that flashed across his face then, but she had been so intent on leaving on time, she hadn't thought anything of it.

"Never mind."

And for some reason, he always waited for her. She remembered another time she hadn't returned until nine the next morning. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the door. The deep purple bruises under his eyes indicated he hadn't slept a wink that night.

"Soul, what are you doing?"

"I was waiting for you to get home, obviously."

"Why? You didn't have to do that, Soul."

"Yes, yes I did. I'm a weapon, this is my job."

"What is? To make yourself suffer?" she had begun to snap at him, her temper flaring in the early morning as it often did.

"TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE, YOU DUMB BROAD!" she remembered the agony on his face as he yelled it, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT KIND OF WORRY DOES TO A PERSON?! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DEAD!"

"WELL I'M NOT, SO WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"I hope you had a good time. I hope he can do what I can't. Leave me alone."

She hadn't even bothered to listen to what he had said after he had slammed his door shut. She had heaved her heaviest book at the door, and began sobbing that he had spoiled her good mood.

Now she stood next to him, wishing he was awake to yell at her. She would have settled for anything at this point. Dr. Stein walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Maka, come on, you need to rest. Soul isn't going to go anywhere."

Maka shook her head. Stein shrugged and walked out of the room. She couldn't leave again. She had done it once, and Soul had nearly killed himself for it. She stood resolutely, unwilling to leave her- partner? Friend? Bile rose in her throat and tears threatened to pour from her eyes. She didn't even know who Soul was to her anymore. Was he her friend still? Or had his act condemned him to nothing more than just a senseless tool? She dropped her knees in the realization of what she had done to him. He had taken a potentially lethal blow once for her, to show her how far he was willing to go for her, and she had pushed him aside, like a piece of scrap paper. Fourteen slashes on his arms total. Fourteen times he had raised a knife to himself to show her what he felt. The one scar on his chest was awful enough but now that he had made the total fifteen, what was she going to do?

"Was that your intention, Soul?" she asked, "Were you trying make it painful for me to look at you? Do you want me to hurt when I look at you?"

Getting up, she pulled a chair close to him and sat, determined not to move until he awoke. She took his cold, pale hand in hers and rested her head on her arms, settling down to wait for him, just as he had waited for her when she had gone somewhere.

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Soul was floating. Literally. Not that he cared much. He looked down, down at her and his body. Now that was interesting. He knew he wasn't dead. Stein has gotten to him in time. He just didn't feel like waking up at the moment. He was waiting for…ah, the opportune moment. When she fell asleep and Stein came back. Yes, that would do nicely. And then he would show her how it felt to be pushed aside, to be ignored. Then he heard Maka start talking. He floated a little lower, so he could hear her.

"…sorry, Soul. Oh God am I so sorry. I should have been paying more attention. I'm so stupid." she began to cry before continuing, "I should have seen it sooner, when you took that wound for me. I honestly think you should have let me get hit, for all the good I am to you. And then for you to have to go so far. You should have told me."

"But I did, Maka." He snarled to her quaking form. Her head jerked up, and he grinned nastily when he realized she could both see and hear him. He dropped his previous plan and made a new one.

"S-soul?" she stammered, shocked beyond all belief, "But, how are you-?"

"Outside my body? Because I don't feel like being there at the moment. That's not the point. I DID tell you how I felt, or at least, I tried, but every time I wanted to tell you, you had something so much more important to do. Like go out with him. God, Maka, I took a sword slash for you, and you just brush it off as an 'I owe you a solid one, buddy'. I'm not done."

Maka snapped her mouth shut over her retort.

"What am I, Maka?"

"I- um- You're Soul Eater."

"I said what, Maka. Not who."

"My partner."

"Not quite."

"I- I-"

"I'm a tool, Maka. Remember? We had this conversation, earlier."

The image of the blood spattered kitchen and Soul in the middle of it leaped to the front of her mind. She choked back a sob and the urge to vomit again.

"We both know it. I'm a piece of metal with a human form. I was never fit to be treated like a normal human being. You should have treated me with contempt and scorn. Not friendliness and NOT any sort of affection. Yet you did, and when I felt I needed you most, you pushed me away and left me to die."

"You're not just a piece of metal, Soul! You're a person, just like me!"

Soul laughed out loud at her. "My god, Maka, you don't get it. You've completely missed my point. And if I was just like you, I would have killed myself already, you hateful bitch."

Maka's hands flew to her mouth as tears began streaming down her face. Soul, he couldn't mean that could he?

"Aww, look at her cry. Don't worry, Maka, when I go back into my body, this side won't be there. You might wish it was, though. Oops, here comes Stein. Later, table-top."

He faded back into his body as Stein walked back into the room. Maka turned to her teacher, tears still streaming unchecked down her face.

"Maka? What's the matter?" asked Stein, looking concerned.

"S-Soul," she stammered, then everything came out in a rush " His soul talked to me. Soul's soul was outside of his body and he said that I was the reason he did this. He said that he was unfit to be treated like a human being. When I said he was just like me he said he would have killed himself already if it was true. He- He called me a hateful bitch."

"Maka…" began Stein.

"But that's the funny part!" Maka was close to hysterics, "He was right! I am a hateful bitch! This is all my fault! I pushed him away from me!"

Stein's reply died on his lips as Soul began to stir on his bed. Maka turned back to him and watched fearfully. Soul's red eyes fluttered tiredly before he opened them all the way. Stein stepped up next to the bed and watched him get oriented.

"Soul? How are you feeling?"

Soul stared at the ceiling for a moment before rolling his head to look at Stein. "Tired." His voice was raspy and defeated sounding, quite unlike his soul's, which had been so full of anger.

"Maka," asked Stein, "Didn't you say his soul had been incredible angry?"

"He said that once he went back into his body, that side would disappear. But he said I would wish it hadn't."

"Hmmm." Stein thoughtfully turned the screw in his head, "Well. Soul, how do you feel about going home now?"

Soul glanced at Maka. "With her?"

Stein nodded.

"Whatever." He sat up, staring down at the bandages on his wrists. He was tired, oh, so tired. Stein helped him out of the bed, waiting as Soul regained his sense of vertigo. Maka handed him his jacket and headband, which he snatched from her, not meeting her gaze.

"I want you to take it extremely easy, Soul. No school, no missions. I am placing you under house arrest until I deem you healthy enough to leave. If I hear you've been out, I will find you and you will not like it."

"Oh goody," chuckled Soul darkly, licking his lips, "More scars."

Ignoring Maka's horrified gasp, he slowly sauntered out the door as carefully as he could, without looking like he was about to faint. The result looked like a drunk stagger, but Soul didn't care, he just kept on going.

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This was meant to be a two chapter thing, but there are too many ends I have to tie up! Oh no! Oh well, ONWARD!