Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, or it's soundtrack, or anyting else even close.
Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've had school throttling the creativity right out of me, yeah? Anyways, I'm back, and with exciting news! Congratulations to The Alternative Source for figuring out what the Memory Crystals were for! You're fantastic! Now then, on with the chapter. It's part one of two, so I hope you like it!
Oh, and just as a side note, I got the inspiration for the end of the chapter from the Doctor Who Series 4 Soundtrack - Boe. LISTEN TO IT!!!!!!!!
Flashes. Sound. Memories. It was all so fact. They played like a movie, moving at incredible speeds, yet slow enough to watch as well. Sensations overwhelmed her, impossible sights teased her, and adrenaline rushes slammed her forward, forcing her to watch. Pieces of her life, all in one place, one at a time, and yet all at once. She watched.
'I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die' she thought. She was surrounded by creatures. No, people dressed up. She refused to believe that these things were actually real. Then, just as they poised to strike, a hand shot out of the darkness. She looked up to see a man in a jumper and a leather jacket, looking back at her intently. He had fire, sadness, anger, hope, and a million other emotions playing in his eyes. But when she looked at him, when she took his hand, all of her worries left her, all of her fears. She was calm. Then he said one word. Just one word. "Run!" And like the wind, they ran.
And we never stopped. Always running, never looking back. That was just the way of things. It always seemed a bit magical. And the instant we met, we were comfortable. Even before I started to travel with him, we were. Anyone would look at us and see a happy couple, holding hands. And the teasing, the constant teasing...
'Tell you what, with a bit of jiggery pokery-'
'Is that a technical term, "jiggery pokery?"' she grinned.
'Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?' He smirked, being cheeky like always.
'No, I failed Hullabaloo' she giggled, her tounge inbetween her teeth. She bumped him with her arm. and when he looked at her, her eyes sparkled.
Another flash...
They had just saved the entire world. AGAIN. But he was more jubulent than she'd ever seen him before. She smiled, watching him dance around the room in a spree of energy. 'Look at you, beamin' away like you're Father Christmas!'
He looked at her, a twinkle in his eyes. 'Who says I'm not, red bicycle when you were twelve?' Her mouth fell open, but before she could question him, he changed the subject.
He never did tell me what he meant by that...but the happy times were the best. She relished in them. Another flash...
She bounced in place, grinning like a prize idiot. He was here, he was BACK! Brand new too. No more big nose or ears, though she was quite fond of them. He had gorgeous hair, and wasn't bad to look at. She smile at the thought of traveling with him. He turned to her and went off, rambling.
'Now, first things first. Be honest. How do I look?' She bit her lip, not wanting to say what she was thinking. GORGEOUS her mind screamed. SEXY she thought. She settled for being vauge.
'Umm... different.'
'Good different or bad different?' Oh great, he was frustrated...
'Just... different.' He got this hopeful look in his eyes.
'Am I... ginger?'
'No, you're just sort of... brown.'
'Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me!' She looked annoyed. 'Ooh, that's rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.'
He was so different. But not always rude. Hm...we went on so many adventures together. Always on the go...I once compared him to the Energizer bunny. But then, even batteries run down...
She looked down at his sleeping form and smiled. It was a rare occasion to watch him sleep, but when it happened, she was always in awe. The man who saved the world countless times, and was always ready for more, looked so innocent when he was asleep. He had no barriers up. She thought about it for a moment, and decided that, in his own way, he was handsome. She brushed his cheek with the back of her hand softly, then silently got up and left him in peace.
And another...He was out like a light. There was no question. Here he lay in her old bed at her mum's house. The new him. He was gorgeous, there was no question. His hair was thick, and he had the most gorgeous eyes she'd ever seen. She loved him before he changed, and she loved him now. That hadn't changed exactly, it was just…it was a lot easier to get carried away with her thoughts. She brushed his hair out of his face, and bent down to kiss his forehead. Then she turned around and left the room grinning. When she turned around to look at him once more, he was smiling in his sleep.
He needed that rest to. Damn tree...Another Flash...He looked at her, a devoted, puppy look in his eyes. He didn't want to ask, but he had to. 'How long are you going to stay with me?' She looked at him, her eyes brimming with happiness and love for this life. Then she said it.
'Forever.'
Such a simple word, forever. Used by many, but rarely meant by any of them. It held so much power. And when you lose forever, it holds such pain and loss. Flash...
He grinned at what she'd just said. A fake one, she knew, for her benifit. But a grin, none the less. A smile, one last smile, just for her.
'Rose Tyler, defender of the Earth... You're dead -officially- back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on the list of the dead.' He paused. 'Here you are, living your life day after day. The one adventure I can never have.' Her breathing became shallow, and she started to cry.
'Am I ever going to see you again? ' She asked. But even though she knew the answer, she had to hear it. No matter how much it hurt. His eyes burned as he spoke.
'You can't.'
And another...
"I...I love you!" she choked out, eyes streaming. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be with him forever. She loved him more than anyone, anything. This couldn't be happening.
"Quite right to," he said with a lump in his throat. "And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it...Rose Tyler-" and then he was gone. 'What was he going to say? Does he love me? I have to know!!!' In that moment, her heart shattered into a million, no, a billion pieces, and only he could put it back together.
Flash...
There he was. The man she loved. Three years had not made her love for him go away. Not now, not ever. She smiled brightly, and ran with all her might towards him. He ran to her, and it felt lke she was finally getting her life back. Then it happened. The one thing she hadn't counted on.
"Ex-ter-min-ate!" the Dalek shreiked, and it shot down the love of her life. No, of her existence. One word rang through her head, over and over like a drum beat. NO!!!
Faster. Faster. Faster. So many things rushed through her head. The Slitheen, Bad Wolf, the Dalek, regeneration, New Earth, Cybermen, Universes, moremoremore! Flash.
"We've got to go. This reality is sealing itself off, forever." Her head shot up. 'NO!' she cried in her head. 'Not again, not now. Not when I've traveled across worlds and galaxies to find him!' A few tears welled in her eyes.
"But, it's still not right, 'cause the Doctor is still you!" His expression turned hard.
"And I'm him," he said, nodding at...his twin she guessed. She didn't know what to call him really. 'What can I do?' she thought. 'I can't just let him leave me. Again. I need to be with him...I need...A TEST! That's what I need. Oh, and I know just what to do...' She gathered her thoughts, and looked at both her Doctor, and the new one.
"Alright, both of you, answer me this." They both walked to her and stood at her sides. "When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?" She looked up at her Doctor, her eyes sparking. He hesitated, so she egged him on. "Go on, say it!" She watched as he took a deep breath.
"I said 'Rose Tyler'." Now she was upset, and she let it show in her eyes. Why couldn't he just say he loved her, and put her mind at ease?
"Yeah?...and how was that sentence gonna end?" A raging fire burned in both of their eyes as they fought in their minds. Suddenly, his fire was replaced with sadness. He looked at her, pain and sorrow evident in his face, even with a mask covering some of it up.
"Does it need saying?" Those four words made her mentally scream. 'YES!!!!! YES THEY NEED SAYING! I want NOTHING more!' But she knew why. He was giving up. And she knew, deep down, why. He loved her, so much so that, in order to protect her, he refused to say it aloud. Because he didn't want to leave her behind, not at all, but he wanted her to have the chance at a normal life. A happy life, with her mum, and her family. How could she be upset with him for being...well, himself?
He always did try to protect me. Even if it meant hurting himself. His actions were what dictated his love. He didn't need words, because they weren't enough. They weren't loud enough. I didn't realize it until much later. So many things I never knew. So many things never said. But it's in the past, and it cannot be changed. Only time can tell what happens. And though my time with John has been brilliant, it's nearly up. Soon, I'll be alone again. Alone forever. And The Doctor will never know that that's what we could have had. It doesn't make me love John any less, but it does make we hope that maybe, just maybe, when this is all over...Maybe I can get back to the TARDIS. Maybe I can go home. And then a new adventure can start. One that really will last, quite literally...Forever.
Not what you were expecting, eh? Congrats again to The Alternative Source! I'll have your name in the next chapter. It didn't fit into this one, what with it being flashbacks and all. It'll be in the bold. :-P
Also, did you guys catch the whole "Alone forever" bit? What do you think's going on with that? Comment and Review please! 3
