Author's note: Thank you for the reviews! They are much appreciated!
No Loki in this chapter...
– CHAPTER 3 –
A Family in the Dark
After Fenrir left to Asgard, Hel didn't go straight home, but continued to wander around in Ironwood. She wasn't afraid of being alone in this wood during the day, when it was practically deserted. Humming under her breath, she went on picking berries and mushrooms when she found any. Sometimes, she would pass a remark out loud about something trivial such as the colour of the mushrooms or the nice weather, as though her father were there to listen. Pretending he was still with her was less painful than accepting he wasn't.
She became so distracted that she didn't even notice it had started to get dark.
"Oh, look, I found a lot more here!" she said, kneeling down to pick yet more berries. "They look good, don't you think?"
She jumped in alarm at the sound of rustling leaves in a bush nearby. However, when she caught sight of a familiar green snake, she relaxed and smiled.
"Jormungand! I thought you'd gone home."
"Who were you talking to, Sister?" he asked her warily. Hel blushed.
"To myself. I was just thinking aloud," she mumbled.
"I see..." Her brother's voice was so dispirited that she paused to study him, noting how he kept his head on the ground as if he were sleeping, his eyes dull with misery.
"Oh, Little Brother, are you still upset about what Fenrir said? Don't listen to him; he's stupid," she told him, with a smile. "Tell you what, when he comes back, Mother and I will make him apologise to you!"
"Thank you for trying to make me feel better, Sister, but he shouldn't have to apologise when he only spoke the truth."
"But what he said isn't true!" She reached out to comfort him, but he squirmed under her touch and drew back as subtly as possible, even though she had been careful to use her right, healthy hand. Ever since their father's last visit a few years ago, Jormungand seemed to dislike being touched. Only their mother could still touch him with minimal fuss. No one was sure why.
"No, he's right, I am—" He broke off and quickly raised his head, suddenly tense, his tongue flickering quickly. "Hel," he whispered, "don't panic, but..."
"What is it?" she asked, panicking.
"We are completely surrounded by wolves."
"What?" she burst out unthinkingly, then covered her mouth and jumped to her feet, looking around in horror.
True to her brother's words, at least a dozen growling wolves emerged from the bushes and shadows, glowing eyes watching her menacingly. In her fright, Hel's legs gave out and she fell over, whimpering. A cruel laugh was heard and some of the wolves stepped aside for a very tall, burly woman who seemed to have materialised out of nowhere. She came to stand before Hel and examined her with cold, dark eyes, a smirk on her lips.
"Well, she's a little small and half bad, but she'll do. We can just cut off the bad parts. Hmm, better not to kill her now, or else the good parts might rot faster. Leave her to me, boys!" she shouted the last sentence and drew an empty sack from the front of her dress. "Oh, if only all hunting nights could be this quick and easy..." she said under her breath, still smirking, and advanced.
"Don't you dare touch her!" said a hissing voice. Jormungand slithered forth and coiled up between his sister and the dark woman, his head raised defiantly. "Back off! Leave her alone!"
He continued to hiss and bare his fangs threateningly, but the dark woman was utterly unimpressed by the rather small snake. She raised her hand to grab a low, thin branch above her and broke it off. Then, holding it by one end, she easily scooped Jormungand up with the other end and threw him into the sack.
"Tell the boys back home we're going to have snake for dessert," she said and proceeded to grab a protesting Hel and put her into the sack as well.
More or less upside down, Hel felt quite disoriented and struggled to regain her bearings. She could feel Jormungand's cold scales against her arms, neck, and forehead, and heard pained hisses every time she pressed against them in her struggle. Eventually, she managed to get as comfortable as one could get when one was stuffed in a dark, small sack with a snake, feeling it swing back and forth as they were carried away by the giantess.
"Jormungand, I'm scared!" she whispered, sniffling.
"Don't be, Sister. We will find a way to escape," he assured her, his voice slightly muffled.
"We shouldn't have stayed out in the wood after dark," she sobbed. "I should've gone home, like Mother always tells me to."
"It will be all right, Sister Hel," said her brother optimistically. "Just try to think what Father would do if he were in our situation. Remember his stories, all the times he has been in trouble? Father never gave up! He never would! He would keep his wits about him and come up with a clever plan to escape. We must follow his example, Sister! We must prove to him we can be as clever as he is."
"But we can't really, can we? Nobody can ever be as clever as Father." She sniffed and tried to pull herself together. "But you're right, we can't just give up! What would father think of us?"
oOo
Angrboda was panicking.
She had tried not to. She had constantly told herself that Loki would protect their children. When that hadn't been quite enough to soothe her nerves, she had begun to eat. Eating always calmed her down. However, even after she had eaten almost all the food in the kitchen, she was still anxious.
What was taking them so long? They had all woken up so early, they should be exhausted by now. Besides, they hadn't eaten anything since this morning, so they should be very hungry, as well. Why, then, hadn't they come home for dinner?
Something must have gone terribly wrong, she figured. Maybe the children had got lost from Loki. Maybe they had all been ambushed by other giants. Maybe the other gods had finally found out about the existence of her children and had come to get them!
Whatever the problem was, she wasn't helping anyone by just staying home and wondering about it. She had to do something. Determined, Angrboda began to get ready to leave. She would search for them, and she would find them, even if she had to look all night, even if she had to go for days without any food, even if she had to go to Asgard and face all the gods at once!
She was just grabbing her cloak when she heard barking. Startled, she opened the front door and looked down to see her oldest son, looking exhausted by otherwise fine. He wagged his tail and greeted her happily.
"Oh, Fenrir!" she exclaimed, her voice cracking, as she knelt down to hold her son. "I was so worried about you!"
"I'm sorry I worried you, Mummy!" he said, a little sheepishly. "I just wanted to go after Daddy."
"I know, I understand," she said, petting him reassuringly. "I'm just glad you're here now, safe and sound. But... where's your father and your brother and sister?"
"Huh?" Fenrir have her an astonished look. "What do you mean? Didn't Hel and Jormungand come home earlier today?"
Angrboda's heart skipped a beat. "No, they never came back. Should they have? I thought you were all together with your father."
Fenrir gave her a pitiful look. "No, me and Daddy met the god Thor while we were hunting and they left to Asgard. I..." He hesitated, looking a little ashamed. "I went after him. Hel and Jormungand didn't, though."
There were so many things wrong in Fenrir's explanation that Angrboda was momentarily at a loss and couldn't even decide what to worry about first. Loki had left their children in the wood and gone back to Asgard with Thor? And Fenrir had followed them?
However, she soon focused on her first priority, which was the safety of her children. Ironwood was a relatively peaceful place during the day, but it became very dangerous at night, when the many wolf clans that dwelt in it went out to hunt. Her two youngest children were easy game even to a small pack. For all she knew, they could already be dead!
"Fenrir, I know you must be tired," she said, her voice full of determination even as it trembled in fear for her children's lives, "but you've got to help me find your brother and sister!"
oOo
Even after the two captured children had been released from the sack, Hel continued to hold her brother close to her, taking comfort from his familiar presence. Finding herself completely surrounded by dozens of famished wolves and looming giantesses, it was all she could do to keep up her brave façade and not break down in blind terror.
For his part, Jormungand was doing a much better job at looking collected and unafraid, although Hel could feel him tense whenever a wolf stepped too close or when one of the giantesses stared at them for too long.
So far, neither he nor Hel had come up with a plan to escape yet. They were being kept in the kitchen, or at least what passed for a kitchen in a cave. The place was quite dirty and the stench of carrion fouled the air, strong enough to make even Hel gag at first. A few giantesses were working at different spots, cutting meat or preparing a stew. The giantess who had captured them was also there, sharpening a huge knife. None of them had bothered to trap or bind the two children in any way, or even to keep a close eye on them – some wolves had positioned themselves around them and at the exit and were watching their every movement.
"Excuse me," Jormungand spoke up, startling the jittery Hel. The giantess who was closest to them, the one who had caught them, turned to give him a sharp look. "You seem to be the leader of this clan. May I ask what your name is, madam?" asked the serpent, coolly polite.
The giantess narrowed her eyes, but a small smirk was pulling at the corner of her lips. "Yes, I am the leader of the clan," she said proudly. "I am Herkja, daughter of Skalli."
"I see," hissed Jormungand, with a reverent nod. He slid off his sister and approached the giantess as much as the watch wolves would allow him. "I have heard much about Lady Herkja's clan," he said. "You are one of the greatest and most ancient clans in Jotunheim, I was told."
"That's right," said Herkja. "But flattery will get you nowhere, so you might as well shut up now."
"Oh, I wasn't trying to flatter you, madam."
"'Just saying the truth,' is what you're going to say?"
"You mistake me," said Jormungand, ignoring the giantess' sarcasm. "You see, I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding, and I was hoping we could sort it out."
Herkja went on sharpening her knife, seeming to have lost all interest in the snake.
"You see," Jormungand pressed on, "we are the children of the giantess and witch Angrboda, whose ancestors belonged to this very clan."
"Angrboda! Hah!" Herkja paused in her work and turned to look at Jormungand, then at Hel. She snorted. "Yes, I know of Angrboda and her distant relation to my clan. But what you say is ridiculous! You can't possibly be her children!"
Even Hel was so offended by the suggestion that she momentarily forgot her fear and glared openly at Herkja.
"But we are!" she protested. "Why is that so hard to believe?"
"Why?" Herkja laughed. "You're not wolves! And everyone knows that we the troll-women can only have wolves for children – or other giantesses."
"I am a giantess!" said Hel, picking herself up.
"A deformed giantess," scoffed Herkja. Hel flushed and sputtered.
"She's not deformed; she's cursed," said Jormungand, a hint of reproach in his voice.
"Even worse, then. What about you? No one in our clan, not even of distant relation, could have ever conceived a snake. Unless your father is a snake? Or are you under a curse, too?"
"Neither," he answered, struggling to keep his tone polite. "To be honest, we don't know why we were born like this. My father thinks it may be because he's a shape-shifter."
"Even if Angrboda could have a snake and a deformed giantess for children," said the giantess, giving them a particularly malicious look, "they wouldn't have lived this long. Any sensible woman from our clan would have killed such aberrations the moment they were born."
Hel gasped, feeling her eyes sting. "Th-that's not true! Mother would never do something so cruel! And we are not aberrations!"
Jormungand was silent, subdued. Hel glared at him. Why wasn't he supporting her and defending their mother?
The fighting spirit might have left Jormungand, but, apparently, it had just descended on Hel, who stood up to her full height, unimpressive as it might me, and glared at Herkja.
"Just you wait!" she shouted, pointing at the giantess. "Just you wait till Mother finds out we are here! And Brother Fenrir! And when I tell Father that you kidnapped us and wanted to feed us to your wolves, there won't be even a single cub left when he's done with you!"
Herkja was chuckling softly, unable to feel threatened by a scared, desperate little girl. "Oh, sweet child, I really don't see why they'd even bother." She stood straight up and turned to fully face Hel, sharp knife in hand. "Hold still, now, would you? I have to cut your rotting parts off. Boys," she addressed the wolves, "you may kill the snake now."
Hel's shrill scream was followed by a rumble and the screams of the giants when a blinding red light took over the chamber.
oOo
After Fenrir and his mother went out to look for Hel and Jormungand, he led her to the place where he and his siblings had talked before parting ways. Fenrir quickly caught Hel's scent, which was unmistakable and much stronger than Jormungand's, and spent the next couple of hours or so following it. He grew very impatient and frustrated when the trail made them go around in needless, purposeless circles. Apparently, Hel had been wandering without paying much attention to where she had been going. Now this resulted in quite a waste of precious time for Fenrir and Angrboda.
Eventually, however, the trail ended next to a bush of berries, where he also caught Jormungand's scent. So, it seemed the two of them had met again in the end. Fenrir proceeded to sniff the ground around the bush, his expression becoming grimmer and grimmer. Angrboda stood out of his way, watching him anxiously.
"Their trails end here," he announced at length. "Weird. It's like they magically disappeared."
"Oh, no..." breathed Angrboda, looking around frantically, as if searching for a more optimistic explanation.
"It gets worse," added Fenrir, almost reluctant – he didn't want to make his mother even more worried, but neither could he bring himself to hide the truth from her.
"Worse?!"
"I can smell wolves all around. They formed a circle surrounding this spot," he explained, indicating the area next to the berry bush. "I can only guess that they were surrounding Hel and Jormungand." When Angrboda looked like she was about to faint, Fenrir quickly added, "I can't smell blood at all, though, so maybe they managed to escape?"
"But you said their trails ended here!" she wailed.
"Calm down, Mummy," he said soothingly. "Maybe they escaped with magic!"
"But they can't use magic, Fenrir," she said brokenly, wiping her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve. "None of you got any training yet."
"We just don't know how to use it, Mummy," Fenrir pointed out. "That doesn't mean we can't use it."
"Well, if they did somehow use uncontrolled magic to get away, they could be anywhere by now! How in the nine worlds are we going to find them?" Her eyes bright, Angrboda reached into her bag and produced a chicken leg. After taking a few bites, she seemed to calm down somewhat.
Fenrir stared at her for a moment, deep in thought. Then, he brightened up. "Maybe the wolves who surrounded them could give us some kind of clue!"
"I don't know, Fenrir..." she murmured, nibbling at the chicken leg. "How do we even know they will help us? Maybe they don't have a clue, either. We'd only be wasting more time."
"Well, we've got to start somewhere!" said Fenrir, trying not to sound as impatient as he felt. "Since we have no idea where else to start, we might as well try and ask them first. Besides, there's still a chance they did catch Hel and Jormungand."
Angrboda sighed miserably. "You're right, of course. Very well, Fenrir. Can you follow their trail?"
"That shouldn't be a problem," he said, already back to sniffing the ground where the wolves' scent was stronger. He paused at one point, picking up a slightly different scent. He didn't recognise it, but he thought it was similar to his mother's scent, somehow. How intriguing. Maybe it was another giantess? He continued to follow the wolves' trail and was barely aware that he had broken into a run.
oOo
Curled up and covering her head as well as she could with her tiny hands, Hel opened one eye, then the other, and spied a rather large rock that had landed in front of her only a few feet away. She slowly straightened up and coughed as the dust settled. The other giantesses were in similar positions, having ducked or dived for cover under the large wooden table. There were more rocks and broken jars all around, as if the kitchen had been hit by a storm. One glance upwards told Hel that the rocks had fallen from the top of the cave. Jormungand and most of the wolves were nowhere to be seen.
Afraid that the entire cave might give in and fall on her head at any moment, or that the giantesses might recover quickly and return their attention to her, Hel was suddenly struck by the urge to get away as fast as possible and made a run for the door. She didn't wonder what exactly had happened in the kitchen or where her brother was. All rational thought had fled her mind and given way to blind terror. She ran and ran, passing dark chambers, puzzled giantesses and alarmed wolves, desperately looking for a way out. Herkja's voice, barking orders, echoed in the cave.
She did find the exit, eventually, more out of luck than anything, but it did her no good; there were dozens of wolves at the mouth of the cave, and they pounced on her as soon as she set foot outside. Fortunately, they didn't use their fangs, but only sought to immobilise her. Once one of them got a firm hold on her, pressing her against the ground, the others backed off, just as Herkja was coming out, knife in hand.
"Very good, boys," she told them, with a weary, but satisfied smirk. Barely able to squirm, Hel looked up at the giantess, whose form became blurry when tears sprang to the little girl's eyes. "I don't know what you did back there, but you won't be so lucky a second time. I won't let you surprise us again," snarled the woman.
"No! Let me go! Help!" Hel screamed and sobbed. "Help, Daddy!"
Herkja brought her huge, sword-like knife up, ready for the killing blow, then yelped and dropped it. The wolves, taken aback, perked up in alarm, while Hel struggled to turn her head and see what had stopped the giantess from attacking. Her little brother lay coiled at Herkja's left foot, honey-coloured poison dripping from his bared fangs. Hel's eyes widened at the sight. This was the first time she had seen Jormungand use his venom or look so threatening. She almost didn't recognise him.
Herkja limped a couple of steps away from the serpent and bent down to nurse her leg for a moment, her face tight with pain and anger. Meanwhile, Jormungand had already lost interest in her and was charging at the wolf that was holding Hel. However, Herkja was still very much aware and realised at once what he intended to do. With a low snarl, she grabbed her knife and crawled after him. The other wolves also began to close in on the snake.
"Jormungand, watch out!" shouted Hel breathlessly.
Fortunately, her brother heard her warning and reacted quickly, sliding out of the way just when Herkja brought the knife down, very nearly cutting his tail off. The giantess stood up and staggered, but didn't fall.
"Kill them!" she roared. "Kill them both! Now!"
The wolves, who had long positioned themselves to attack, charged immediately. The one holding Hel growled and opened his jaws wide. Just when he was about to sink his fangs into her neck, something seemed to have hit him on the side and knocked him off of Hel.
Dazed, Hel couldn't even move from her position at first. When she did look up, it was just in time to see a black little wolf bite one of the bigger wolves that had tried to attack Jormungand. Even though the puppy was so small and outnumbered, he continued to attack, bravely and fiercely, anyone who got too close.
"Brother Fenrir!" Hel gasped when she recognised the little wolf. She flinched when two wolves began to fight back and hurt her brother, although Fenrir, himself, didn't even seem to feel anything.
"That's enough," said a soft voice that somehow cut through all the mayhem. "Stop, all of you!"
Everyone halted and turned to look at the newcomer. Hel couldn't hold back a joyful smile when she saw it was her mother who had come to rescue them. The girl quickly glanced around, hoping her father had also come, but there was no sign of him.
"Please, we don't want trouble," said Angrboda, unusually sombre, but showing no sign of fear at all. "If it's food you want, I can give you as much as you wish. Just please let my children go."
Before anything else could be said, a young giantess came out of the cave with a lifeless wolf in her arms. She froze as she took in the scene before her and threw her leader a desperate look.
"Mistress! Hraudinir is dying! He's been bitten by a poisonous snake!"
"He's not the only one," hissed Herkja, giving Angrboda a sardonic look. Only now did Hel notice how pale she was, and that she sweating and panting. "As you can see, you are too late. Two lives will be lost before dawn, and no amount of food would ever compensate our clan for them!"
"No one has to die tonight," said Angrboda, unperturbed, drawing a small vial out of her bag. She held it out for everyone to see. "I happen to have the antidote that can save you and your wolf son. If you swear never to harm my children again, I will gladly give you this antidote."
"How do we know that antidote will actually work?" spat Herkja.
"I suppose you will have to trust me," said Angrboda, shrugging. "But you of all people should know that we never lie to our own, Herkja."
"'Our own?'" Herkja sneered. "Who do you think you are?"
"I realise it has been a while, but you should still be able to recognise me, Herkja. After all, if my ancestors hadn't left their original clan, I would be in your place as the leader now."
"But if that's true, that could only mean you're..." Herkja hesitated, looking almost fearful.
"I'm Angrboda." She smiled. "A distant cousin of yours, you could say."
Herkja only stared at her, incredulous. She had become frightfully pale, though whether it was due to the poison or the shock, Hel couldn't tell. The wolves, for their part, looked curious, intrigued, and some of them were brave enough to approach Angrboda and began to sniff her. Angrboda smiled at them and knelt down to pet them as though they were her own children. They appeared to have recognised her and accept her as a giantess of their clan.
"It's true, then?" said Herkja feebly. "You really are Angrboda... and yet you had these... children?" She gestured at Hel and Jormungand, doing an impressive job at concealing her contempt.
Angrboda stood back up and nodded. "Yes, they are my dear children."
"But... I don't understand..."
"What is there to understand? They are my children and I love them more than my own life. Simple as that. I'm sure you feel the same way about your own children." Slowly, Angrboda walked over to Herkja, who had fallen to her knees, her body shaking. "Here, take this before it's too late," she said, offering the small vial.
With a trembling hand, Herkja took the vial. She stared at it, dazed and speechless. Angrboda went over to Jormungand and gently picked him up, letting him wind himself up her arm and around her neck. Then, she picked her daughter up, murmuring comforting words when Hel held her and sobbed happily. Before leaving, Angrboda looked back at Herkja.
"Farewell, Herkja. I hope you and your son get well soon," she said and turned her benevolent gaze on her oldest son. "Come on, Fenrir. Let's go home."
Fenrir promptly perked up and began to follow her. He paused for a moment and looked back at all the wolves, wagging his tail a little. "Hey, guys... No hard feelings, right?"
oOo
"I was so scared, Mummy!" cried Hel, pressing her face against her mother's shoulder.
"Shhh. It's all right, dear, you are safe now. Just promise you'll never stay out until dark again."
"I promise! I promise!"
"We are very sorry to have worried you, Mother," said Jormungand contritely.
"I'm just glad you are all safe and—"
"Mummy, Mummy!" interrupted Fenrir, hopping around Angrboda. "Did you see me fight against all those big wolves?"
"Yes, Fenrir, you were very brave and very strong." His mother smiled at him, her expression weary but proud.
"Yes, Brother, thank you for saving us!" said Hel, grinning at him over her mother's shoulder.
"I saved your life, too," muttered Jormungand, his voice so soft it was almost inaudible even to Hel and Angrboda, who were very close to him. "I also faced several wolves that were much bigger than me – and Lady Herkja, too."
"Aww, you were very brave, too, Little Brother," said Hel, petting him. He flinched and tried to hide under his mother's hair. "Thank you. I owe you – both of you."
"Oh, it was nothing," said Fenrir airily.
"You don't owe me, Sister," said Jormungand. "You saved my life when you made the cave collapse."
"I did?" questioned Hel, genuinely puzzled.
"What? You made the cave collapse, Hel?" asked their mother in astonishment, blinking. "How did you do that?"
"It was a burst of magic," answered Jormungand. "She was so scared that she lost control. It was very impressive. The giantesses and the wolves got scared and ran for cover, so we took the chance to escape."
"Wow!" exclaimed Fenrir. "See, Mummy? I told you we could use magic, even if we can't control it!"
Angrboda laughed, a little forcefully. "I'm just glad you didn't end up in Niflheim or some such thing... I'll have to start teaching you how to use magic very soon."
"Ooh, I can't wait!" said Fenrir, wagging his tail excitedly. "By the way, Mummy, how come you had the antidote for Jormungand's poison? Was it even the real thing?"
"Of course it was," said Angrboda seriously. "I'd never lie to them. We giantesses of Ironwood have a strong code of honour among ourselves, you know." Then, with a smile, she ran one finger over her youngest son's scales. "I always carry the antidote for Jormungand's venom, just in case you or Hel might ever need it. I know he would never deliberately hurt you, but accidents happen. One should always be prepared for the worst."
"That's very clever of you, Mummy!"
They were silent the rest of the way, content to just enjoy each other's company.
By the time they arrived home, they were all exhausted, both mentally and physically, but none of them felt sleepy. Angrboda announced she was staving and was going to make dinner with whatever food was still left in the house, while Fenrir told his siblings about his brief adventure in Asgard.
"You wouldn't believe how big Valhalla is!" he was saying when Angrboda returned from the kitchen. Instead of interrupting and announcing that dinner (or some semblance to it) was ready, she leant on the doorway inconspicuously and listened to her son's story. "It's - I think it's bigger than all of Ironwood!"
"Oooh!" "Wow!"
"Yeah! And before I knew it, that angry lady was taking me straight into Valhalla!"
His siblings gasped. Angrboda frowned. That couldn't be a good thing...
"Did you see him? Did you see Lord Odin?" asked Hel in a whisper. Fenrir fidgeted.
"Well... Yeah, he was – that is, I didn't – I couldn't really – I mean, sort of. Er." He shook himself. "But anyway, I met this strange creature in Valhalla! He looked like a horse, but he had eight legs! And he talked! He was pretty nice, though. He even helped me find Daddy. His name was Sleipnir." Fenrir leant forwards and lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "And here's something you won't believe; he said that his mother is called Loki. His mother."
Her children looked terribly confused, but Angrboda had to smile in amusement. She, of course, knew all about Sleipnir and his origins, although Loki always tried to avoid the subject and never got into much detail when he was persuaded to talk about it. Unfortunately, she had never had the chance to meet Sleipnir personally.
"And that's not all!" added Fenrir, still oblivious to his mother's presence. "He said his dad's name was Svadilfari! Do you remember who Svadilfari is?"
"Huh? Isn't that the stallion who Father had to distract by taking the form of a mare?" asked Jormungand.
"That's right!" said Fenrir, nodding vigorously. "Weird, isn't it? I mean, how can Daddy be the mum of an eight-legged horse? That makes no sense, right?"
"Well, he is a shape-shifter, so it's not so weird, really," said Hel. "He can be a woman if he wants."
Angrboda remained silent, but began to feel ill at ease. She did not like the direction this conversation was taking. She hoped they wouldn't start to ask her uncomfortable questions.
"He can change his appearance to look like a woman, but he can't be a woman," said Fenrir. "We can't change what we are – not really."
"Maybe that's enough?" said Hel hesitantly. "Maybe just looking like a woman is enough to have a baby?"
"That doesn't change the disturbing fact that Daddy had a child with a stallion!"
"Maybe he couldn't help it! It must have been an accident!"
Fenrir fell silent, deep in thought. "Well... He did say that babies are born because of magic..."
"Aha! See? It was an accident with magic. Like a potion gone wrong."
Jormungand chose that moment to speak up. "I think Hel is right. Remember all the stories we have heard? This is actually very common," he said all-knowingly. "Here's what probably happened: Father and Svadilfari got hurt during the chase – they must have got some scratches in the woods – and some of their blood drops got mixed, and Sleipnir was created from that mix."
"That makes sense!" exclaimed Hel, looking admiringly at him. Even Fenrir couldn't find any fault in his brother's theory. "I think you're as clever as Father, Jormungand!" said their sister.
While the slightly embarrassed Jormungand stammered a modest reply, Angrboda was torn between amusement and dismay. The absurd things children could come up with when left to their own devices...
"Ew, I hope I don't have any children with that wolf I was fighting," muttered Fenrir, with a shudder.
"So, does that mean Sleipnir is our brother?" asked Hel.
"I don't know, but it'd be nice if he was," said Fenrir, smirking and glancing at his brother. "He'd be a better brother than Jormungand, at any rate."
Jormungand said nothing, only stared at him expressionlessly. It was impossible to tell if he had taken the remark to heart or brushed it off.
"So, what happened after you met Sleipnir?" said Hel. "Did you two find Father?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, he took me to Daddy's hall, but Daddy wasn't there. There was this strange woman, though, and two kids. The woman almost smothered me, but she also gave me food, so I forgave her. As for the two kids... I think they're Daddy's sons, too. They looked a lot like him, and they call him Father."
Despite Fenrir's nonchalant tone, Hel and Jormungand were taken aback and disturbed.
"I had no idea that he had so many children," whispered Jormungand forlornly. "I thought it was just us..."
"Surely not," said Fenrir, unperturbed. "Daddy is very popular and powerful, and he lives close to other powerful people. With all that magic in one place, accidents are bound to happen. I'm surprised he doesn't have a lot more children. But you don't have to worry," he added, smugly. "Daddy doesn't care about his accidental children. He couldn't even remember the name of one of them, and he totally ignored them when they were in the same room."
"If he doesn't care about them, why does he live with them and not with us?" asked Hel resentfully.
"Well, I—" Fenrir was at a loss. "I don't know. But I'm sure he has a good reason!" he said, loyal as ever.
"Oh, I know he does," hissed Jormungand cryptically.
The three of them fell into a thoughtful, gloomy silence.
Angrboda didn't stay to see if Fenrir would resume his story. She quietly made her way back to the kitchen and sat down at the table, hunched over it, her eyes staring down at her clasped hands unseeingly. She was probably more shocked by Fenrir's story than her children. Just as she knew all about Sleipnir, she had known that Loki had a wife in Asgard. He had told her himself. She even knew her name – Sigyn.
However, from what Loki had said, Angrboda had got the impression that he didn't care much for Sigyn. Their marriage had been arranged, Sigyn being a sort of "gift" from the other gods, but Loki had never seemed to care about her. He had often complained to Angrboda that Sigyn was a nuisance, an embarrassment, and drove him insane. Sometimes, he had even seemed to forget that she existed. He had once confessed that she was one of the reasons why he was rarely in his own hall.
When Angrboda had learnt about their marriage, she had been worried, but Loki's apparent indifference, bordering on dislike, towards Sigyn had filled the giantess' heart with hope. She had never dared to voice it, of course, but she, like her children, had always hoped that Loki would someday leave Sigyn and the gods and come to live in Jotunheim with his giant family, or at least come to visit much more frequently.
When he was absent for several years, she had figured that he must have been preoccupied with some business or other in Midgard, that maybe Odin had sent him on a particularly difficult mission, that he was out saving the worlds...
In truth, he might just as well have been having more children.
Angrboda wasn't so naïve. She was aware of Loki's nature and that he had many... admirers. She knew he often took advantage of that, as well. But those were only flings, nothing but harmless fun. Loki was charming and could – and would – win over any woman, but deep down he didn't care about them. Angrboda was fine with that; after all, giants were not strict about the number of sexual relationships one could have. But she had always been proud to be the only constant in Loki's life, the one target of his precious affections. Sigyn, even as his wife, had never been a threat to the bond between them.
Had that changed? Had Loki finally become closer to Sigyn, so close that they even had children? Was that why he had been absent for so long? Fenrir had said that Loki didn't care about his children with Sigyn, but what about Sigyn herself? What if he got truly attached to her, and then to their children as well? Would he even bother to visit his giant family any more, then?
The more she thought about it, she more likely it seemed. After all, he had already been away for years, and then he'd left abruptly after less than a day of visit, leaving his children all alone in the woods...
It broke her heart. Angrboda felt very lonely without him, but she felt much more aggrieved to see her children's loneliness. They desperately needed a father figure. At least Sigyn and her children lived with Loki, saw him every day, like a true family. It hurt Angrboda to see her own children hope, day after day, that their father would come to see them the next day, only to be disappointed time and time again.
If only they could go to Asgard... If only giants weren't feared and despised...
A tear drop fell on her hand, but she barely noticed it, too lost in her own despair and grief. In the complete silence of her abode, Angrboda quietly wept till the sun rose and she fell asleep where she sat.
