Yeah…..I did say I would update eventually, right? This is just a really hard time of year for me to update, I have midterms to study for, presents to make, and so on and so forth.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except Lila. And Eris, who is not in this chapter, so what do you care?

Chapter 4: Grab the Spear

"You know, I think my eyesight's getting better…instead of a big dark blur I can see a big light blur," commented Han.

"Why is it so…bright?" muttered Lila. "Something's got to give. I'm going to spend a millennium being digested with a sunburn."

Luke glanced at her. "You're kidding me, right? You grew up here. You know perfectly well why it's so bright; we happen to be on a desert planet."

"True, true, I'm just saying…" said Lila under her breath.

"Don't worry, Han, there's nothing to see," Luke assured Han. "We grew up here, you know."

"You're going to die here, you know."

"Cheerful, aren't you," said Lila. "Luke's taken care of everything."

"Which just fills me with confidence, I'm sure."

The two floating ships stopped over a large crater in the sand from which many many tentacles were waving. Threepio's voice rang out from Jabba's ship.

"Victims of the almighty Sarlaac, His Excellency hopes that you will die honorably. But should any of you wish to beg for mercy, the great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas."

How do you die honorably when you're getting thrown into something's mouth? Lila wondered.

Han stepped forward. "Threepio, you tell that slimy piece of... worm-ridden filth he'll get no such pleasure from us. Right?" Chewie barked.

"Jabba! This is your last chance! Free us or die," Luke yelled.

"And you expect that to work….why?" Lila asked him.

"It's always good to give him a last chance," Luke protested.

"Pacifist," snorted Lila.

A plank was set up over the pit; Lila glanced out of the corner of her eye and saw R2-D2 appear at a window of Jabba's ship. "You have seniority," she informed Luke. "Jedi first!" She smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, I do have seniority, and you better remember it."

"Is this really the time?" asked Han.

Both Luke and Lila glanced at him momentarily. "Of course not."

Luke stepped onto the plank. V-e-r-y-s-l-o-w-l-y. In Lila's opinion he was being overdramatic—but that was Luke for you.

And Luke jumped off. Han blinked very quickly several times before he realized that Luke had grabbed onto the board and was now fighting it out with the guards. He shook his head quickly and joined the fight.

"A little slow on the uptake, aren't we, dearie?" yelled Lila.

"Shut up!" Han responded.

Lila glanced over at Jabba's ship and saw Leia battling the giant slug himself.

"Whoa! Help!" Lando screamed. One of the Sarlaac's tentacles had grabbed his ankle and was trying to drag him off the ship; Lando was clutching a rope dangling off the edge.

At that moment Boba Fett came jet-packing down to attack Luke, who promptly sliced his gun in half. While Luke was momentarily distracted, Fett fired a cable, which wrapped around Luke, restricting his movement, who then cut it away from himself.

Chewie was directing Han towards a spear that had been dropped by a dead guard, when the Wookiee happened to mention that Boba Fett was there.

"Boba Fett? Where?" yelled Han. Lila booted the bounty hunter off the ship and into the Sarlaac. "Gone," answered the girl. Han rolled his eyes, guessing what had happened, and lowered the spear down towards Lando. "Lando, grab it!"

"Lower it!"

"I'm trying!"

Lila looked around and noticed that Luke was no longer with them; he had jumped to Jabba's ship and was continuing the fight there. "You know what Han, why don't you give that job to someone who can see." Han shrugged and handed over the spear.

Lila leaned over the edge. "Hi," she said. Lando gave her an exasperated look. "Just lower the spear, would you?"

A hit from Jabba's ship caused the skiff to shake; Lando lost his grip and fell to the sand pit. Lila screamed. Only by staying very still could Lando manage to avoid falling down into the pit; however, this meant that each time he tried to reach for the, he fell a little bit farther.

"Okay, grab the spear!" shouted Lila. Lando suddenly gave a strangled yell. The Sarlaac had extended a tentacle and grabbed Lando's leg. Lila looked around for a gun—her lightsaber couldn't reach that far.

Unfortunately, Han already had possession of a gun, and was now shooting in Lando's general direction, who squirmed like crazy to avoid the shots.

"No, wait!" Lando yelled at Han. "I thought you were blind!"

"Uh…I can see a lot better now! Don't move!" By some miracle, Han was able to shoot the tentacle dead-on. Lila hauled Lando back onto the ship, and then jumped onto Jabba's ship. The giant slug was dead, thanks to Leia, and Luke was fighting off laser blasts with hi lightsaber. Lila joined the fight for a minute.

However, she then noticed a rather large gun, and she also noticed the engines, and the prospect was just too good to let go of.

"Luke, Leia, get off!" The two looked up, took the hint, and jumped ship. Lila pointed the gun at the engines. "And Lila said, let there be light," she muttered, and let fly.

The ship exploded. Lila dived off and used the Force to land on the other ship, where everyone else was.

"Nice explosion," said Han. "And I can't even see."

Lila rolled her eyes. "Don't forget to pick u the droids," she said, gesturing to the spot where Threepio and R2-D2 had fallen.

That was fun. I liked this chapter, even though the rest of you probably think it was crap (in truth, so do I). But I had fun writing it.

DragonRider2000: Thank you!!

WWMTgirl: Seriously though, Luke is way too polite.

Draye: Shut up, it was canceled for the rain.

Fictionfrek101: No, I totally get it. I hated that chapter; I really had no idea what I was doing. I'm embarrassed when I go back and look at it.

Yeah….see you all…eventually…I swear, I WILL TRY TO BE QUICKER! But I really have no idea when I'll update.

And I KNOW the Torah doesn't exist in the Star Wars galaxy. But I love that line.