"Chuck Versus the Reboot"
by Estee
ACT I
INT. BUY MORE - DAY
JEFF and LESTER sit at the Nerd Herd desk with their chins
propped up on their hands and blank looks on their faces.
BIG MIKE walks up carrying a stack of DVD's.
BIG MIKE
Hey. How's it going, fellas?
No reaction.
BIG MIKE (cont'd)
Ay! Laverne! Shirley!
Jeff and Lester slowly move their eyes in his direction.
BIG MIKE (cont'd)
What the hell are you doing?
They snap out of it, shaking their heads.
JEFF
We were trying to see if telepathic
teleportation really is just a
thing of the future.
LESTER
But I guess now we'll never know.
Lester gives Big Mike a pointed look. Beat.
LESTER
We have to resort to scientific
experiments for entertainment
without Chuck and Morgan around.
BIG MIKE
They've only been out of the store
for a week.
JEFF
Worst week of my life. Oh, well,
except the week I spent on the
lamb, trying to outrun the Mexican
police after the donkey incident--
BIG MIKE
Look, you idiots don't know
anything about boredom, okay? My
hot mama is so depressed about her
baby boy moving to Hawaii that the
most action I've seen lately has
been on Cops.
JEFF BIG MIKE
(singing) I don't even want to know
"Bad boys, bad boys. Watcha what it'll be like after
gonna do? Watcha gonna do he gets on that airplane
when they come for you?" today.
JEFF
(flashback)
Ditch the tequila and run for the
border!
(he giggles)
Works every time.
LESTER
When does he leave?
Big Mike checks his watch.
BIG MIKE
Couple hours.
Jeff returns to the conversation.
LESTER
Maybe we can stop him.
JEFF
He'll never come back with El
Diablo still at the healm.
He thumbs over his shoulder toward Emmett's office.
hisGdeskTthen lookstaroundswithoa
paranoid expression then closes the blinds.
BACK TO SCENE
LESTER
I'm thinking now would be a good
time to employ the good old
bait-and-switch.
BIG MIKE
Keep talking.
LESTER
We tell Morgan Emmett's done. By
the time he finds out the truth,
he's already missed his flight.
Big Mike sets the DVDs down on the counter.
BIG MIKE
I'm in. Let's do it.
Jeff, Lester and Big Mike look around at each other, pleased
with their plan. They get up and run ridiculously out of the
store.
EXT. DILAPIDATED WAREHOUSE - DAY
Casey and Sarah run from the building. Suddenly, they are
surrounded by masked men with guns. Casey draws his gun.
Sarah strikes a martial arts pose. They are out-numbered.
Out of nowhere, Chuck flips into the scene. He starts
fighting the men in a Chuck-Fu brawl. Sarah and Casey join
in. The men pile up on the ground until none are left.
Sarah kicks down one man who tries to get up, but Casey is
focused on Chuck. He just may be grinning.
CASEY
That was surprisingly not pathetic.
Chuck and Sarah are both taken back by the compliment.
BAHMMER (O.S.)
Not bad, but you may have a little
more trouble with me.
ERIC BAHMMER, Caucasian, balding and nondescript, walks up
to them. He is dressed in a ridiculous kimono.
CHUCK
Hey, man, your grandma called. She
wants her robe back.
SARAH
Careful Chuck.
Chuck smirks then charges Bahmmer, but before he reaches
him, Bahmmer lets his robe slide off to reveal a bomb vest
strapped to his torso. Chuck skids to a stop.
CHUCK
But, you know, I'm sure she
wouldn't mind if you kept it just a
little longer.
Chuck bends to pick up the robe.
BAHMMER
I suggest you stay back.
Chuck looks up at Bahmmer's face and staggers.
FLASH: CIA files, explosives expert, pictures of blown-up
buildings, dead bodies, then connected dots to a virtual
simulation of LAX exploding.
BACK TO SCENE
SARAH
Chuck?
CHUCK
He plans to blow up the airport.
CASEY
Fulcrum?
CHUCK
No. Not yet. That's why he's doing
this. His group is on the outskirts
of The Ring and wants acceptance.
Bahmmer tilts his head, curious and fascinated.
CASEY
Damn, that's handy.
Casey points his gun at Bahmmer's head.
BAHMMER
Wait! My vest is rigged with
contact explosives. If you shoot me
and I hit the ground... boom.
Casey snarls and starts to lower his weapon.
CHUCK
Hang on, Casey.
Chuck looks at Bahmmer, his smile turning arrogant.
CHUCK (cont'd)
He's lying.
Casey raises his gun.
SARAH
How can you possibly know that?
Casey grunts in agreement and lowers his weapon.
CHUCK
There's no such thing as contact
explosives. He came up with the
idea--he even added a bogus article
to Wikipedia, but he couldn't
actually get it to work.
Casey raises the gun again.
SARAH
Maybe he got it to work.
Bahmmer breathes erratically, trying to follow along.
CHUCK
His right pinkie is twitching. It's
his poker tell. He once lost
$356,214 in Reno because of it.
BAHMMER
How could you possibly--
CHUCK
And fifty-three cents.
Bang. Casey shoots Bahmmer in the head. He falls to the
ground unceremoniously. Chuck is momentarily queasy, but
better when he looks away.
CHUCK (cont'd)
(to Sarah)
See? No bang.
SARAH
What if you were wrong?
CASEY
Mission accomplished, Walker. Let's
focus on that right now.
Sarah watches as Casey pats Chuck on the back. She frowns.
INT. AIRPORT - DAY
Big Mike has his arm around Morgan's shoulder. Jeff and
Lester walk behind. They high five.
JEFF
(whispered)
Mission accomplished.
Lester grins.
LESTER
Bait accepted.
MORGAN
I can't believe you guys got Emmett
to quit. This is amazing.
Jeff and Lester trade a nervous look, but shrug it off.
INT. CASEY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Casey and Chuck walk in with Sarah tagging along behind.
CASEY
That was quite the show you put on
today, Bartowski and, for once, I
didn't mind having front row seats.
He holds his hand up for a high five. Chuck completes the
move then looks over his shoulder at Sarah with his jaw
dropped in surprise. Sarah feigns a smile.
CHUCK
Super-Agent Carmichael at your
service, my good man.
Chuck squeezes Casey's shoulder. Casey laughs gruffly. Sarah
watches in near disgust.
DISSOLVE TO
INT. CHUCK'S APARTMENT - DAY
The once empty living room is now filled with boxes and
furniture from Sarah's old place. She stands over one box,
pulling small items out until she finds a framed picture.
CLOSE ON: the picture. It's she and Chuck on Halloween from
nearly two years ago.
BACK TO SCENE
Sarah smiles and traces her finger across Chuck's face.
CHUCK (O.S.)
I'm thinking about getting a cape.
Sarah shoves the picture back into the box.
SARAH
What?
Chuck walks up to her wearing a smile.
CHUCK
Super-Chuck needs a cape, I think.
SARAH
So now it's Super-Chuck? Great.
He laughs and looks around.
CHUCK
Well, "Captain Awesome" was already
taken so--
SARAH
Listen, Chuck, you did a great job
today--
CHUCK
I know. Even Casey thought so.
SARAH
But, in this line of work, humility
is extremely important.
Chuck's face falls.
CHUCK
You think I'm unfamiliar with the
concept of humility? I've spent the
past two years being told to "stay
in the car." I get humility.
SARAH
Then act like it. Because when
you're a spy, you never know when
it's all going to end...
Sarah looks away. Chuck steps up to her and puts a hand on
her shoulder, looking at her very carefully.
CHUCK
(gently)
This is about Bryce, isn't it?
SARAH
This is about you, Chuck. Or the
lack thereof.
Chuck drops his hand from her shoulder.
CHUCK
(hurt)
So I'm not me now? Is that what
you're saying?
SARAH
I'm saying that "Super-Agent
Super-Chuck" isn't the Chuck I
know.
Chuck groans.
SARAH (cont'd)
The Chuck I know is the
self-doubter who always needs an
extra push to be great. The Chuck
who had to be asked to be a hero.
CHUCK
(quiet, sarcastic)
Boy, that Chuck sounds like the
coolest guy ever.
SARAH
"That Chuck" is the Chuck I fell in
love with.
They stare at each other, both shocked by her words.
CHUCK
(awed)
There's a Chuck you fell in love
with?
A touched smile forms on his lips. She turns away.
SARAH
I know. Making girls fall in love
with you--another talent you can
let go straight to your head.
CHUCK
Actually, I don't think I've ever
heard anything more... humbling.
Sarah turns back to him, her eyebrows lifted. Chuck takes a
step toward her, looking at her intensely, lovingly.
CHUCK (cont'd)
There's nothing up here...
(he points to his head)
that could ever compare...
(he takes her hand)
to how you make me feel in here.
Chuck slides her hand up to his chest, his heart.
CHUCK (cont'd)
I fell in love with you, too. And
whether I'm "that Chuck" or this
Chuck--a loser or a hero--I will
continue to be in love with you for
a long, long, long time.
Sarah looks at Chuck calmly for a long beat. Then she's on
him, kissing him hard and passionately. He kisses her back
as they wrap their arms around each other. They trip over
boxes and fumble with each others' clothes as they make
their way to Chuck's bedroom.
INT. MORGAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Morgan sits in his bed, leaning against the wall with the
covers up to his chin. He looks frightened.
BOLONIA (O.S.)
Oh, Mikey. Thank you for bringing
mijo home where he belongs.
BIG MIKE (O.S.)
It was nothing... Ohh, but Bolonia,
I'll accept that as thanks.
Morgan cringes as Mike moans in pleasure.
INT. CHUCK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
On the bed, Chuck lays over Sarah, kissing her tenderly.
CHUCK
I've wanted this for so long.
Sarah laughs.
CHUCK (CONT'D)
I mean, not this. Well, okay, this,
but the rest of it, too. The rest
of you. The whole she-bang.
Sarah giggles. Chuck hides his face between her neck and
shoulder then kisses her there. She closes her eyes.
CHUCK (CONT'D)
Do you think Casey's--
SARAH
I pulled the plug.
CHUCK
I wonder if there's something I
could flash on to make me, you
know, better at...
Sarah opens her eyes, annoyance rising.
SARAH
Chuck?
Chuck brings his face to hers, their noses touching.
SARAH (CONT'D)
Focus.
He smiles as she kisses him. No more talking.
DISSOLVE TO
INT. CHUCK'S BEDROOM - DAY
Chuck and Sarah lay under the covers together. Chuck has his
arm wrapped around Sarah, her arms intertwined with his. He
slowly wakes up, nuzzling the back of her neck.
CLOSE ON: Chuck as his eyes snap open. He inhales sharply.
BACK TO SCENE
Chuck slips his arms back as he gently rises out of the bed.
He stares at Sarah as if he has no idea who she is. He takes
a step back and trips, but rights himself.
He takes a few steps around the bed to get a better view of
Sarah. He looks her over, the panic growing on his face.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Chuck quietly closes the door behind him then leans against
it. He runs a hand through his hair then notices his watch.
He hits a button on the watch.
CHUCK
Casey?! Can you hear me? Help?
No response. Chuck sighs and puts his face in his hands.
CASEY
What is it?
Chuck looks up, confused by his quick arrival.
CASEY (cont'd)
I don't take calls for help
lightly. What's wrong, Bartowski?
CHUCK
There is a beautiful woman in my
bed. Maybe the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen, actually, but--
Casey cuts him off with a growl.
CASEY
You really called me over here to
brag about your conquests?
CHUCK
Conquest? She slept with me? You
really think she slept with me?
CASEY
Beats me. Walker cut my
surveillance--
CHUCK
Walker?
CASEY
But I'm assuming you did a little
more than sleep, if you know what I
mean.
Chuck is mortified.
CHUCK
No. I don't know what you mean.
That's the problem, Casey. I have
no idea how she got in my bed--
CASEY
Mmm hmm.
CHUCK
Or who she is or--
Casey lets out an inquisitive grumble.
CHUCK
How could I forget a woman like
that, huh? Was I drinking? Was she
drunk? That would explain a
lot--except why I'm the one who
can't remember anything.
The bedroom door opening behind him silences Chuck. A look
of terror streaks his face. Sarah comes out, disheveled and
sleepy. She spots Casey and blushes immediately.
CASEY
Morning, Agent Walker.
Chuck's eyes get wider. He mouths "Agent?"
SARAH
(embarrassed)
Hi, Casey.
Chuck's jaw drops.
CASEY
There may be a problem with the
Intersect.
Chuck takes a quick peek at Sarah who is already looking at
him with a knitted brow. He looks back at Casey and gulps.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF ACT I
