I took my cup of tea and stepped out on the dark balcony. It was slightly windy but the rain that
dropped in thick lashes didn´t reach the spot where I curled myself in one of the plastic chairs.
The thunder storm gained strength while I stared in the shadows below me trying to identify the
outlines of the moving darkness. I wondered if he would come tonight. Through the years his visits
had become less often and sometimes I fear he´ll forgot about me. As another lightning illuminated
my surroundings I remebered the first night when he came to comfort me. I saw my six year old self
shaking under the blanket of my bed in the big cold mansion my family used to live in as another
thunder errupted around the house. My parents where out to socialise with my stepfathers new
partners from his agency and my mother thought me yet to old and mature for needing a baby sitter.
Of course me and my stubborn head agreed whole heartedly as the sun was shining through the windows but now I wished I would have simply shut my face.
A scratch on the window had me jump a few inches and rudely interrupted my ramblings as I fell out of my bed. There are no monsters, they don´t exsist. It was only a branch of the old appletree outside. Trying to be brave and to proof that stupid little voice in my head wrong that screamed at me to run I slowly entangled myself from the linens and peeked over the edge of my bed. First I wanted to laugh at that voice which had subsided to low whimpers but then I saw movements out of the corner of my eye. My scream suddenly stuck in my throat as a new set of fast lightenings identified the shadow as a boy with the most beautyful features I´ve ever seen in real life. But I knew his face. It was the face of an angel my grandma told me in her stories about. The only thing that nagged on me in form of that really annoying voice was that he had no wings and his clothes didn´t match the tales either. But who was I to question the appearance of an angel in my room at night as my savior from the storm and the creatures that lured in the darkness. I´m after all only 6 years old. Maybe my grandma hadn´t told me all the stories yet. There may be different kinds of angels. While I was currently lost in my weird thoughts that tend to zone out in stressing situations my angel hadn´t moved an inch. But his head was slightly tilted to the side so that some strands of his dark hair hang over one of his shocking golden eyes and he wore a crooked smile that warmed my whole freezing body. When I realized, that he would not speak at first but gauged every of my movements as if I was supposed to do the first step I asked the first question my awed brain could muster. Are you the angel my grandma wanted to send to me? His face instantly held such a sad expression that I wanted to hug him till it went away. But as soon as it flickered over his face he had this friendly smile in place and answered in a voice that assured me in my assumptions. No little Bella I´m not an angel. Far from that. But I´m here because you are afraid of the storm and I want to show you that there is nothing you need to be afraid about. At least not out there. The last part he said so low I wasn´t sure I heard him right. At that moment it didn´t occure me to ask why he knew my name. Angels know such things. After all they watch the people from heaven. But I wanted to know more about him. He was still standing at the same spot in the corner of my room and I couldn´t help but wish he would craddle me in his arms and protect me from the thunder that still raged outside. As a new lightning and the immediatly following thunder rocked the whole ground I let out a yelp and jolted into his arms. For a second he seemed shocked and about to put me down but I wound my fingers in his black shirt and started sobbing silently. I was exhausted and scared and the bad memories of the day in the woods where I got lost and had to spent the night outside during a thunder storm haunted me. I felt light movement as my guardian angel as I named him soothingly rubbed my back an sat with me on my princess bed. He began humming a beautiful melody that calmed my heartbeat and made me aware of him lightly rocking me in his arms. As I let my hand wander over his extremly cold arm my fingers got caught in a thin leather band that was entwined around his wrist. I felt myself relax and getting sleepy but before I let sleep overcome me I needed to hear his voice again to make sure he was not only my imagination my mind brought up to sooth me. Angel? Will you stay with me? He looked me in the eyes and for the first time I could see that they were of an amber colour and shone in the dark like some invisible light was reflecting in them. He seemed to search my eyes for the answer he wanted to give me and finally whispered: My Bella I told you I am not an angel. But I will stay with you until you fall asleep.."But will you promise to come back? There are so many thunderstorms here and you wanted to show me not to have fear. But I´m terribly afraid you need to come back please. Don´t leave me alone. I know I should be brave because I am a big girl but I´m not and I´m scared and I hate the dark!.. The last words came out as short gasps as my voice broke because I started sobbing again. Big tears were running down my red face. I couldn´t lose my angel. He needed to protect me. I didn´t know exactly what I was afraid of but I knew he could save me. „Breathe Bella. You need to calm down. I promise I will come back and show you the beauty of the night. But only when you stop crying." Instantly I tried to straighten up and show him I stopped bawling but a traitor tear escaped my eye and rolled lonely down my cheek. He caught it with his fingertip and was fascinated for mere moments before he refocused on soothing me. He started humming again and soon I was fast asleep too tired from the agitation that brought the night.
A bright flash of light brought me back from my trip down memory lane and for a second I thought I saw movement in the woods. But too soon the night was pitch black again and I thought of my disappointment the morning after our first encounter because I awoke alone without the tiniest hint of his existence. I looked in the mirror and growned at the blotchy eyes that stared back at me and the haystack that once was my hair. Deciding it was not worth the effort for I wouldn´t leave the house today I wobbled back into my room and on my way I tried to rub my forhead to get rid of the dizzyness that still lingered from sleep. As my hand was on my forhead my sight catched something dangling directly in front of my face. I let out a small scream an whisked my hand away until I got a better look at my wrist. There tightly wound around two or three times was his leather band. He left me something as a promise to come back.
The following nights I hoped he would return but soon I realized he would not come back. I got tired of waiting and in my stupor I shut my window tightly and locked it therefore I left it wide open the previous nights. In the following week there was another thunderstorm. This one was even worse than the one before. Once again I laid hidden under my blankets, clinging to the leather band that I still wore despite all my bad feelings for my angel abadonning me. It was so loud in my room that I didn´t hear the window creek open or the steps he made to stand in front of my bed if there were any noises at all from him. Only his deep humming voice made me aware of his present and I was too scared to be stubborn and ignore him so I flung myself in his save arms. That night he told me about the outside world at night. What the people do, what the animals do and what happens in the shadows where you can´t see anything except some gleeming eyes. He explained the beauty of the storms. The figures the lightnings draw at the sky and the different sounds of the thunder crashing against each other. And he told me, that only if there is a really strong thunderstorm going on you can play a good baseball game. This one I did not understand but he told me one day he´ll tell me that story. He also told me his name. It is a name that suits him perfect although he thinks my name was made for me even more. All the while he talked in his velvet voice about the good things of the night he had craddled me against his chest where I could not make out a heartbeat. But who says that angels have a heartbeat.
After the second visit of Edward he said, that he could only visit me through such stormy nights because the other nights I wouldn´t need him. In my head I disagreed forcefully but I feared to upset him. As the weeks and months went by, his visits became a constant in my life. I grew very attached to him and I began to worry about the day he decided I would no longer need him. He was my best friend and knight in shining armour and he never seemed to have a problem with my so much younger age. He once said I had an old soul. That I would be to adult for my age. But he never told me how old he was himself. I don´t know when the first time was I asked myself why he chose to come to me that first night. Maybe it was the time we discussed soulmates in school ethics. I must have been around 14 years that days. I realised my feelings for Edward grew stronger everytime he came to visit me. Though I since long wasn´t afraid anymore of the dark. I learnt to love the night because that was the only time I could be with my angel. In my mind I still called him that if only of lack of a better description for him.
Everytime I saw him his beauty caught me of guard again. My breath would hitch and my heart would skip a beat. His tender touches drew me more and more to him even if they were as innocent as always. But when he gazed into my eyes like he wanted to read my thoughts or when he put a strand of loose hair behind my ear and grazed my cheek in that moment I couldn´t control those new feelings for him. We still had plenty of things we could talk over the whole night or we laughed at some ridiculous tv show or enjoyed being together but everytime he hummed me to sleep I had the feeling he wanted to say goodbye. His visits became less often and when he appeared he seemed tense or like he was in some kind of pain. I am 17 years now. Last week was my birthday. I hadn´t seen Edward for nearly 4 month. I couldn´t control this feeling of dread that something really bad had happened or was going to happen soon. I watched the rain form puddles on the balustrade of the balcony. Unconsciously I stroked the worn leather band on my wrist. I never had the strentgh to put it down because I still needed the proof for his existence.
As I shifted my gaze again Edward leaned against the wall next to me. His eyes were smoldering and he wore a kind of sad smile on his perfect lips. It took every ounze of selfcontrol not to launch myself at him in that instant. Hello Bella. I see you are not afraid anymore of the night. So I came to say goodbye....
