English Lessons with Hyotei

Part Three: The Orals

Warning: Crack, shonen ai, bad attempts at humour

Notes: Nagano-sensei is back and I'm starting to think I'm way too evil to her. Oh wells, its fun! Anyway, the third and final installment starts with a helping of Atobe but quickly descends into silver pair fluff. I hope you enjoy it and I thank everyone who has read this fic.

By the way, all questions that Nagano asks in the fic as part of the orals were actually questions from my own Spanish oral.

I will be starting a sequel (sort of) to this after my exams finish (i.e. 22nd June) but that will be posted on LJ because I plan on having quite a lot of reader participation.

If you want to read that when it's up and suggest ideas (there will be more info on that in the first chapter) then I suggest you watch the torishishi community on LJ

PART III of III

**

It had arrived. The day Nagano Fumiko, world's most reluctant teacher of middle school English, had been dreading more than any other. Worse than the day she'd volunteered to cover the tennis team practice (which she had so not wanted to do. It was just that Sakaki had asked. And Nagano wasn't above admitting she might have a tiny minuscule crush on the coach and music teacher. Might being the key word here)

No, it was worse than that. Worse than the time she'd run into a couple of tennis players from another middle school in the local super market (They had been so rude they'd made Hyotei look positively angelic. One had just continued to reach for some soft drink even though he could clearly see she was trying to pass and the other had managed to make her feel like she was in the wrong just by the frown on his face. Insolent brats both of them)

It was even worse than the time she'd taken a well deserved holiday to England only to find out it happened to coincide with Wimbledon and London seemed over run with tennis players (she'd noticed someone who'd looked vaguely like Atobe on the first day and had spent the rest of the holiday trying to stay indoors as much as possible.) Nagano was beginning to wonder if tennis just had it in for her.

No, it was orals day. A whole day of listening to third and second year students rattle on about their pet dog or favourite hobby. A whole day of reminding countless simpletons of the rule of double negative, verb endings, sentence structure and God knows what else. And to make things worse her first candidate was...

'Ore-sama has arrived. Be prepared to be awed by my magnificent English skills'

Hyotei's diva himself. Great. Just great. As if Nagano's life couldn't get much better.

'Atobe-kun. Have a seat'

Nagano smiled through gritted teeth. She just hoped this would be quick and painless. With a flourish Atobe seated himself on the plastic chair as if it was his own personal thrown. Truth be told, Nagano wouldn't be surprised if he did own one.

'Well Atobe-kun, I trust you know the format? I will ask you questions for 10 minutes on three prepared topics, those being your family, your future and (Nagano gritted her teeth at this one) your hobbies. Are you ready to begin?'

Atobe reclined further back in his plastic throne.

'Ore-sama is always prepared.'

'Right well, I'll start the timer than.'

Nagano reached for the small stop watch and set the timer for 10 minutes. Just 10 minutes she reminded herself. 10 minutes and then she wouldn't have to see Atobe for a whole weekend. She could do this, she was strong...

'Are we going to start sometimes today?'

Nagano was interrupted by the Diva's sarcasm. Resisting the urge to throw the stop watch, the dictionary on the desk and the desk itself at him, she plastered yet another smile onto her face.

'Of course Atobe-kun.'

And then in English

'What are the names of your parents?'

'Ore-sama's parents...'

Nagano smirked

'Atobe-kun, this is an English exam.'

Atobe raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow in her direction.

'Ore-sama is NOT an English word.'

Oh yes, score one for the teacher. Inner Nagano was celebrating 10 minutes with no ore-sama this, ore-sama that.

'Fine.'

Atobe's expression didn't change and Nagano started to think the 7 and a half minutes left might be more bearable now the diva had been taken down a few pegs.

'The magnificence that is I can trace his lineage back to the Trojan Prince Aeneas...'

Life hated Nagano, she was sure of it. Just how many Japanese middle schooler's knew words such as lineage in English? Probably about as many who honestly believed they were related to Aeneas, and that Churchill and Roosevelt where their grandparents, Atobe's rant on his family history was anything to go on.

'Lovely Atobe. Second question...what are your future goals?'

Nagano stopped Atobe who was in the middle of explaining in great detail how his father was actually Roger Federer's cousin twice removed. Only 3 more minutes, she told herself. Only three more minutes.

'...of course the magnificence that is I will have no problem beating that Seigaku brat when we are both professionals. And then the magnificence that is I shall beat Tezuka. Because Tezuka is my destined rival and he honestly thinks he is cooler than the magnificence that is I...'

Atobe was interrupted by a sharp buzzzzzzz. Nagano resisted the urge to jump up and down shouting something highly inappropriate in celebration.

'Oh I'm afraid that is our time up Atobe-kun. You will receive your marks in the coming week.'

Atobe just smirked.

'Ore-sama already knows he has got full marks. Ore-sama did not make one mistake.'

Brushing past Nagano, he sauntered out of the classroom. Looking down at her mark sheet, to her frustration, Nagano realised he was right. Damn him and his bloody perfect English! Still, that was the worse candidate over. Next had to be a second year as they were rotated. Someone easy. Someone who wasn't obsessed with a person called Tezuka (who to be honest Nagano had no idea who this mythical person was, but she already hated him. He was probably like that scowling tennis player in the supermarket. Yes that was how she imagined this Tezuka person...)

There was a light knock at the door and Nagano even found herself smiling. This would be easy...

Or not...

Standing in the doorway was none other than Ohtori Choutarou. Resisting the urge just to slam the door, for the 10th time already today Nagano cursed the tennis playing population to hell. No hell was too good for them, St. Rudolf's maybe.

'Ohtori-kun. Come in.'

Ohtori shuffled nervously in, his height making the chair he sat in look ridiculously small, his eyes focused on the ground. It appeared, Nagano deducted, he was still slightly scared of her from their last...meeting. Maybe she would use this to her advantage and have an easier 10 minutes than she'd first expected.

'Have you prepared your three topics?'

A nod.

'Ok then we'll begin. Firstly, can you describe to me your dream house?'

Ohtori's gaze was still focused on the floor and Nagano had to strain to hear what he was saying at first.

'Um...I think it would be somewhere in Tokyo, perhaps with a tennis court out the back...'

So far so good. Nagano allowed herself to relax a little, this was how a normal oral should be. Perhaps Ohtori sensed this, because he finally raised his gaze to meet hers.

'And then there would be a billiards table...'

Ohtori trailed off and Nagano took this opportunity to ask another question.

'Do you enjoy billiards, Ohtori?'

At this point, a sickly sweet smile appeared across the boys face and Nagano had a sinking feeling that she wasn't going to like what was coming next.

'Shishido-san is teaching me and it's Shishido-san's favourite activity. Apart from tennis of course. Last Friday we went to a billiards club together and Shishido-san showed me how to play. It was really fun because Fuji-san and Kikumaru-san from Seigaku were there as well, only Fuji-san kept asking Shishido-san if he had booked the plane tickets to Spain yet...which was rather strange...'

Did this boy have nothing else in his life apart from Hyotei's drama queen? Nagano was starting to suspect not.

'But if you get married, you will have to share your house with your wife Ohtori-kun. So why don't you describe your perfect girlfriend?'

'Um...'

Ohtori looked slightly lost for words.

'Well...I guess he'd...I mean she'd be...um good at tennis. And caring. Like when Shishido-san didn't sleep for a week so he could help me perfect my severe. Or when I was sick because I stayed out in the rain too long and Shishido-san didn't leave my house until I was better...But I don't think I have time for a girlfriend because I'm going to be a professional double player after school and then I'm going to be living with Shishido-san because he promised we could share a flat and I've already been looking through the furniture catalogues and Shishido-san agrees that our bedroom can be done in the Hyotei colours and...'

'Ohtori-kun, your time is up. Lovely to hear from you. Results in a week. Goodbye.'

Nagano practically pushed the boy out the door and slammed it shut. Did she say Atobe was bad? If she had to listened to anymore about the brattiest student in the school (apart from Atobe), she would kill someone. Preferably Shishido Ryou himself. Though Atobe wouldn't be a bad second choice. The only think that could be worse than hearing more about Shishido would be...

'Did you make Choutarou fail?'

An angry Shishido Ryou in her classroom right now meant to be sitting his oral mock. Nagano cursed whatever gods there were. Gathering her composer, Nagano drew herself up. She would not be intimated by Hyotei's drama queen. She would not be intimidated by...shit that was some glare.

'Ohtori-kun did not fail, he merely went of the subject matter a little. I'm sorry of he was under that impression.'

'Fine.'

Shishido seemed to relax a little, lounging across the chair on the other side of her desk. However he was still glaring and Nagano could not help but wish she hadn't been so quick to get the second year out of her classroom a minute ago.

'Well Shishido-kun, I think we shall start now. As you are aware, you will have ten minutes and I will ask you questions ranging over three different topics you have prepared on. Now, question number one: who is your best friend and how long have you known them?'

Shishido continued to glare and Nagano wondered if it really was possible that looks could kill. She though not because she wasn't dead yet but...

'My best friend is Choutarou. Which is why if anyone upsets him'

Glare

'I will gladly hunt them down and'

Double strength glare

'Make sure their live is no longer worth living'

Death glare to the power of three

'Even if I have to use Atobe's lawyers to get me out of criminal charges afterwards.'

By this time, Nagano was seriously considering just climbing under the table. It seemed to be the safest option. Or better yet making a dash towards the door. Instead, she wrote on her marking paper in big bold letters NEVER UPSET OHTORI CHOUTAROU. And then just to make sure she added an extra EVER and underlined the sentence, twice.

'Um...lovely Shishido-kun. So, what do you do in your spare time?'

Nagano tried to smile. But Shishido was still glaring, even if the glare had gone down a couple of levels.

'I play tennis.'

He answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which Nagano reminded herself, it probably was.

'Would you like to elaborate on that Shishido-kun?'

Shishido's glare tuned into a look of exasperation, obviously perfected to infuriate her, Nagano decided.

'I play tennis with Choutarou.'

Really, his answers were so short Nagano was at a loss of what to ask next. Suddenly, remembering Ohtori's comment about billiards, she decided to ask...

'Um...do you have any other activities outside school you enjoy with Ohtori-kun?'

'None I wish to discuss with you.'

Came the curt reply and Nagano wasn't really sure what he meant...unless...Oh! Trying her hardest not to look at the student in front of her, Nagano quickly shuffled the papers in front of her before picking the first question that came of the top of her head.

'What would you improve about the school if you could Shishido-kun?'

'The teaching staff.'

Nagano gritted her teeth. Shishido Ryou really was the brattiest student she had ever come across. Even worse than Atobe. Even worse than Atobe and Mukahi put together. In fact even worse than the whole of the pompous, self absorbed, arrogant, vain Hyotei tennis team (including Sakaki- to hell if he was the best looking male in a 50 miles radius, he was still afflicted with the tennis team and therefore just as much to blame!)

Suddenly the buzzer went off and Nagano thought she'd never be more grateful to hear it in her entire life!

'Thank you Shishido-kun, you can go now. The test results will be posted next week.'

Shishido turned to leave before fixing her with one more glare.

'And remember if Choutarou fails...'

Before stomping out the classroom and purposely slamming the doo shut very loudly, frightening the second year who was waiting to come in.

Had she, Nagano Fumiko English teacher extraordinaire at Hyotei middle school, just been threatened by the tennis team drama queen?

Life, Nagano thought to herself, really really sucked right now.

And it was all the tennis team's fault. God, how she hated that sport.

X

Omake

'You wanted to see me Hamada-sensei?'

The middle aged English teacher smiled at his number one student, Tezuka Kunimitsu.

'Ah yes, Tezuka-kun. Seeing as you have been performing so well in my class, I was thinking that you may benefit from a little extra tuition that will take you much further in your mastery of the English language than I can. I happen to have a colleague, a very skilled teacher of English who lived over there for some time. She currently teaches at Hyotei but I'm sure she would be very glad to help you gain a real appreciation for the language. I was thinking maybe a session a week?'

'That would be very good of you Hamada-sensei'

Tezuka replied, his expression not changing at all. Hamada Takeshi continued.

'I've been told she doesn't like tennis players but what can one expect if you only know those who play at Hyotei? Anyway, I'm sure you two will get on absolutely fine when she realises what a nice, polite boy you are. You can go now Tezuka-kun; I will contact you when I have made the arrangements.'

'Ah. Thank you very much Hamada-sensei'