Love Hina: BS to the Max; Pervertism

By: The Dark Icon Writers

Chapter Four: Aww SKEET SKEET!

Prereader Note: Hey everyone, this is Dimitri once again dropping by not to give a chapter but just to post it. This is the first chapter from our other member Soulstealer777 aka Charon. I want to say that neither Dimitri nor Nathalist had anything to do with this chapter AT ALL! It's all him so don't take it out on us! I would like to take the time to thank all of you who reviewed this so far so thanks! As for making this 'hotter' umm... we'll try, but this is just all random bullshit coming off the top of our heads and stuff so that might not happen. Anyways, i'm out. Enjoy the chapter and if you want an acctual story then check out the Heaven's Not Enough fic also within this account. Catch ya next chapter and remember... GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE... (you'll get it later on in the chapter)

---

System Soulstealer, boot up!

"Ahhh!!! Keitaro! How could you say that about my ass!? We're never having sex again!!!!!" Naru shouted angrily as she ran from Keitaro's room and down the hall's of hinata. Keitaro came running out almost immediately after. "C'mon Naru! A big butt is a good thing! Don't you watch BET?" Keitaro shouted after her. As soon as he caught up with Naru, which was somewhere downstairs, she quickly turned around and punched him into the atmosphere.

System Soulstealer, Jack in!

In the kitchen Shinobu was just about to prepare dinner before Su and Sara busted in. "Shinobu! Watcha doin'!" Su asked right before she kicked her in the face sending the poor girl spiraling to the ground. "Whoa crap! Is she okay?" Sara asked standing over the unconscious Shinobu. "Oh no! I kicked Shinobu! I must've done it to Keitaro so many times that it's become a reflex." Su said nervously. Sara bent down to Shinobu and felt her pulse. " gasp... She's dead." Sara said grimly. "... Then there is only one thing to do.." Su said malevolently. "Dump the body?" Sara asked. "Yes... but first. I must kill ALL witnesses." Su said as she grabbed a kitchen knife. "Kill witnesses? But no one's here except...... shit" Sara thought as the blade came down on her. Su proceeded to wipe up all of the blood and put both bodies in a trash bag then went outside with them. 5 minutes later, Keitaro finally fell from the sky into the kitchen. Keitaro stood up from the rubble and debris without a scratch because he's immortal and stuff. "Darn... Naru must be really upset. I never actually hit a plane before. I guess it's really time to give up. I think I'll go to room and cry..." Keitaro said to himself grimly before he exited the kitchen. Suddenly he ran back in. "Can't cry like a girl without ice cream." He said to himself. Keitaro opened the freezer to pull out a treat but before that, something else caught his attention. It was a frozen turkey.

Let's get it on!

OOOOO YEAH!!!

let's get it oooonnn!!!

Keitaro slowly pulled the turkey from the freezer and sat it on top of the counter. It was like he was in love again. He slowly began to run his hand down the frozen dish. It was so cool, so inviting, he had to have it, RIGHT THEN. Keitaro slowly moved his face closer to the turkey than began to whisper to it. "Shhh... Don't worry, mama... I'll be gentle."

System Soulstealer, Destroy!

Elsewhere, Motoko had been late on her rent payment, which didn't happen often. So in her time of desperation, she called on the help of her archenemy (of sorts), Kanako Urashima. Kanako gladly agreed to help Motoko. 1 hour later they were speeding down the streets of downtown Tokyo in a white cutless Cadillac with mink seats and carpet. Kanako was wearing a pimp outfit and was driving quite recklessly. Motoko was in the back covered by the shadows, perhaps to cover what she was doing. "Kanako! Take me back home! I'm not doing this!!!!!" Motoko shouted. "C'mon! You're no fun. Besides, if you don't do it then you have a home to go home to... home.. to go.. home... Shutup!" Kanako implied harshly. Suddenly she pulled over on a curb underneath a street light and in the process completely revealed Motoko's street whore clothing. "Dammit! I can't do it! I'm outta here!" The samurai shouted she began to exit the car. An instant later Motoko was bound in ropes from some sort of special Kanako rope technique. "Sorry, baby. Can't let my hoes get outta the game before they make my money." Kanako explained. "What are you talking about!?" Motoko asked. Suddenly an escalade with tinted windows rolled by and parked next to Kanako and Motoko. The windows rolled down to reveal Dimitri, Natahalist, Phantom and Jaye of the dark icon. "Hey what can I get for 400 yen?" Nathalist asked. "Anything you want!" Kanako explained cheerfully. "Anything you want?" Motoko said helplessly. "Anything he wants." Kanako repeated herself. Suddenly Kanako grabbed Motoko then threw into the open window on the escalade before it sped off. "Don't forget to get the money!" She shouted after them.

System Soulstealer, Rise above all others!

Back at the hinata inn Naru had actually felt bad about punching the special limited addition hell out Keitaro. In fact she had been wandering around looking for him cause usually he'd found his way back by now. For some reason the kitchen door was locked. Now she mopped around the living depressdily. Perhaps she should have given Keitaro more of a chance to explain himself, after all, he was totally an idiot, plus the video hoe look was becoming popular in anime. Kitsune happened to be drunk on the couch at the time... even though she is all the time anyway. She noticed Naru's non-bitchy attitude. "Say Naru, is somethin' bothering you?" She asked. Naru was about to tell her, but then she decided that Kitsune would definitely try to meddle. "I'm just not felling well, that's all." Naru explained. "Huh? Well I think I've got somethin' in my room that'll help you out." Kitsune explained. "Oh yeah! Jackpot! Kitsune has ALL the good pills." Naru thought happily. Kitsune drunkerdly lifted herself up from the couch and began upstairs. "C'mon!" She told Naru. Naru hastily followed her upstairs. They finally got to Kitsune's room. She slid open the door and proceeded inside. Naru followed her. Suddenly Kitsune slammed the door behind them then pressed a switch on the wall. Suddenly a large steel "stand" of sorts lowered to the ground. "! Kitsune! What in Budda's name is that!!!?" Naru asked nervously. Suddenly Kitsune pushed Naru onto the post and fastened her down. "THIS my friend.. is a rack!" She implied. "Hey! stop joking around. I'm not in to this kind of stuff!" Naru shouted. Kitsune pulled a ball gag from seemingly nowhere then tied it around her friend's face. "It's not about you're into, Naru.." Kitsune explained. Suddenly she pulled out a mechanical eggbeater and turned it on. "It's about what IN YOU" She implied sadistically.

System Soulstealer, What are you doing to that goat!?

Su arrived at a an American dumpster that was outside the entire time without anyone noticing. The girl hummed merrily as she threw the trash bag filled with her best friends in the trash. "... Wow. I'm glad that's over. Now all that's left is that turtle and the guys who sending those fucking AOL free trials." Su thought. She went back inside the apartments to continue her evil plotting, little did she know that greater forces were at work. In a burst of light a giant pink grove opened up in the ground in front of the dumpster. A white substance shot from the pink opening filling the dumpster. Suddenly Shinobu and Sara climbed out, seemingly unharmed. "What happened? I thought I died." Shinobu said to herself. "That's right! Su killed us." Sara implied. Suddenly the pink hole in the ground spoke. "I am the clitoris! I have brought you girls back to life in order to exact your bloody revenge against the warrior of darkness, Koalla Su." The large pink anatomy spoke. "The hell?" Shinobu and Sara thought at the same time. "Now, these weapons will help you defeat her." The Clitoris explained. An instant later two sword sized pink dildos appeared in Su and Sara's hands. "Now my warriors! Go and defeat the one who has wronged you!" The Clitoris ordered. Both girls were still confused as hell, however, they BOTH really pissed about their deaths. "Let's go." Shinobu implied with a determined burn in her eyes that Sara had never seen before. "Okay!" She responded. Suddenly both girls dashed into the apartments checking each room, which included Kitsune's room where they saw some pretty nasty S&M torture, and the kitchen where they found Keitaro naked on the counter covered in turkey remains and salad dressing, until they finally found Su on the roof, where Su was waiting for them. "So you two are alive again. It must've been the Clitoris... My arch enemy." Su implied. "Su... We didn't come here to fight you." Shinobu explained. "Huh?" Su said. "Yeah, we just wanted to say that you killing us... was sooo sexy." Sara implied. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Su asked. Suddenly Sara and Su both drew daggers and jumped above Shinobu "Blood orgy!"

System Soulstealer, use the Zero Divide!

Suddenly Shinobu woke up one her pallet in her room. She sat up and held her forehead. "What a weird dream..." She thought. Suddenly she fell back on her pillow then rolled over to see Chewbacca and Captain crunch. "Ahhhhhhh!!!!!" Shinobu woke up screaming again. The girl finally calmed herself down. "Another weird dream about a weird dream… At least it's all over." She thought. Suddenly Charon from the dark icon appeared in front of her. "Yeah! All over you, bitch! SKEET SKEET SKEET!!!!!!" He yelled as he released sperm all over Shinobu's face and hair. "AHHHHHH!!!" Shinobu woke up screaming and crying once again. Suddenly two large arms look her in and began to cradle her. "Shinobu, it's okay it was just a dream." A tall stranger said softly. Shinobu calmed down and smiled. "I know, but I feel safe… now that I'm with you Mr. Lincoln." Shinobu said to the former president. "No problem. Now why don't you go under the covers and see the Washington monument." He suggested. Suddenly Shinobu woke up screaming again.


End chapter four... WHAT THE HELL CHARON!??!!??!?!?!!?!?!?!??!? Screw it, i'm going to write another chapter in my fic for now... I can't get the thought of turkey out of my mind... EEEWW!!!

-Owner of the Dark Icon; Dimitri.