Love Hina: Bs To the Max; Pervertism
By: The Dark Icon Writers
Chapter Seven: Food Warning
A/N: Wow, we're becoming a sort of famous group in the love hina fanfiction world, sweet. Finally the respect and love we deserve! cries Thank you all for reading our stuff! I just wanted to say all that before I started with this chapter.
And to answer a previous statement… yes, we are foamy cult card holders… cough
Disclaimer: I'm the owner of the Dark Icon Writers, Dimitri Elaston Plabato, officially one of the most loved groups in the fanfiction world… so Mr. Akamatsu can I have love hina now? …………………… No. Aww.
Dimitri Plabato of the Dark Icon Writers
Hey we have a title now! We're the funny, sick, twisted, jizz shooting perverts! Beat THAT! Thanks Baka-Tenshi!
And by the way, this chapter WILL make you sick. It made ME sick and I wrote it. I warned you. Don't take it out on us. Nothing you've read before goes along with this. I took the liberty of making calls to all doctors across the world. They are waiting for you after this chapter. And you all know the drill, if we get banned just email us for the updated location.
"Keitaro, Keitaro… it's time to wake up." Naru said nudging the young sleeping man beside her.
"No… but I don't want a wiener! I don't want a wiener! WAHHH" Keitaro moaned in his sleep.
And then…
"Keitaro Urashima! It is time for you to wake up and divulge me into paradises unknown!" screamed Motoko as she stood over Keitaro in a pair of bunny pajamas.
"Ooooo! So Cute!" Naru said as she jumped up and started kissing the bunny Motoko up and down.
Keitaro awoke to a very interesting site to say the least… Motoko and Naru sprawled out all around the room. Some whips, chains, and Naru holding a "fluffy tail" in some ways not meant to be held…
"Uggh… I need to get out for a minute." He said to himself as he walked out of the room and out of the doors at Hinata.
:..: Dimitri's
Keitaro walked into the restaurant known as Dimitri's and sat down at the grill table.
"K-man wassup, how can I help you today?" Dimitri said as he looked down at Keitaro
"Yea, I could use a bagel."
"What you want on it?"
"Humm… I need a bagel with the cream cheese, the creamy creamy cheese please, the one with the butter and the creamy cheese cheese."
"Err… kay." Dimitri said as he went to grab a bagel for Keitaro…
"Is that for here or to go?"
"To go, can you warm it up a little for me?" Keitaro asked
"Sure man." And with that Dimitri went to heat up the bagel
A few minutes passed and Keitaro left with his bagel.
But…
He had a little pit stop in the middle of the forest to make.
He walked behind a tree and made sure that no one was coming and then he smiled to himself and held the still very warm bagel up to his eye level and burst out with a mad laugh…
(Warning! Warning! The Dark Icon Writers are known for messing up food items; please skip this if you really love bagels… Please do. You have been warned.)
He pulled down his pants and then positioned the bagel right in the middle of his crotch… and then he thrust into it… and thrust some more…
When he was finished he grinned to himself and then headed back to Hinata with Bagel bag in hand.
(End food safety warning!)
"Hey Keitaro, what's in the bag?" Kitsune asked as Keitaro walked up the stairs to Hinata
"Oh just a bagel, you want it?"
"Do I?" and with that Kitsune took the bagel and began eating it, all of the creamy white sauce spilling all over her mouth.
"Ooooh Keitaro." Kitsune said as she licked some of the extra sauce spilling from the sides and from her mouth.
"What's the name of this sauce I need it all the time!" she continued licking and licking it all over her mouth savoring the taste.
"Oh it's a new menu item, it's called K-juice. When you want some of it just give me a call and I'll pick you one up. I know the owner."
"It's yummy!" she exclaimed
"Yea I know."
"Well flip me over put butter on my backside and call me a doughnut. I might just have you get me some more of this then."
And with that the both of them entered Hinata house and went their separate ways. Keitaro headed towards the kitchen where he saw Su and Sarah "playing" with a rectangular spatula… and then Su burst out "Oh yea! Work that rectangle you nasty slut!"
"Whoa… that's my cue to NOT go up in there…" Keitaro said as he walked up stairs too his room instead only to find Motoko and Naru inside of it.
Keitaro turned around to see Motoko and Naru sticking things up places where they wouldn't find but then he was stopped by Shinobu closing the door on him "Huh, Shinobu, what cha' doin?" he asked the young chef.
"No nude-y for the little weenie" She said with her hand on her hips
"Aww okay Shinobu, so how about we..."
"Nope sorry K, unfortunately...no booty for the baby weenie either"
((Ouch! That hurt me to WRITE!))
Keitaro left the hallway with his eyes downcast and a sad look on his face. He left Hinata house, hoping to find Hitani and Shirai… he KNEW they had to have some girls somewhere…
He walked up to their one room apartment, the door was unlocked.
"Uhh… hello? You guys?" he asked as he entered the home "Back here Keitaro!" Hitani yelled as Keitaro walked back to the bedroom.
"OH MY FUCKING GAWD!" Keitaro screamed as he ran out of the home yelling "MY EYES, MY FREAKIN EYES!"
(Another Dark Icon food warning)
He tried sooo hard to ignore the vision of Hitani and Shirai rolling around in the feathered bed with the chains and whips covered in the Neapolitan, the butter pecan, and the cookie dough ice cream all over their bodies making them all sticky along with the other stuff… It was all just like an ice cream Shoppe, all covered in all 31 flavors…
(End Dark Icon food warning… and excuse me while I throw up EWWWWW!)
(Okay… I'm back… filled up the toilet three times…)
…Much Later…
"Come on Su, we need to head out for that mission." Motoko said as she waited outside of the scientist's room… so ignoring the screams of "Oh yea Tama! I've wanted to "eat" you for a long time but I didn't think you'd taste this good!"
…A few minutes later…
"Okay Motoko, let's go. We can take the car." She said as she headed out the door.
The two of them headed towards the "Comfort Sedan" to see Keitaro "plugging in" side of the "comfort" part of the Sedan
"Hey K-kun, thanks for filling er' up but we gotta go. You need anything?" Su asked while Keitaro stopped pumping in the car and pulled up his pants up muttering something about ice cream.
"Oh Ice cream? Sure we can pick you up some." Motoko said with a smile
"NOOOO! ICE CREAM? MY EYES! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and with that he went off screaming.
Motoko and Su shrugged, got in the car and drove off…
.:. Later…
"Su do you have the items?" Motoko asked
"Sure do Motoko!" and with that she began to reach down her pants.
"Err… Su, why'd you hide them down there?"
"Because silly just in case we got mugged."
"Su… who is going to mug a Japanese warrior and Molmolian princess, both holding guns. In a car, that's worth less than your shirt?"
"Err… government?" Su shrugged…
"Forget it… get ready here they come." Motoko said as she looked out her window and watched the two approaching men.
To BE CONTINUED in chapter 8!-
A/N: Whoa, sorry about that. Really I am. So sorry for making this chapter so sick but randomness had built up in me.
If you want to read some fics to get your mind off of this then read the other stuff in this account, it's much better.
Well cya… and get ice cream off ya mind.
