A/N: Title Taken From Elvis Presley
Chapter Five:
I Forgot To Remember To Forget
The couch was soft but they were still uncomfortable. They held hands and sat close. Nathan sighed and looked around. He didn't want to be there. It made him feel like he had failed something. Lucas on the other hand was sighing for relief. He had been thinking about therapy for a long time. With the messed up past they've had he knew it would catch up to them one day.
"Alright Nathan lets start with you," The doctor wrote something on his notebook.
"Why me?" Nathan looked at him with lowered eyebrows.
"You're the one who woke up strangling your partner," The doctor looked up over his glasses with a smart-ass grin.
"Touché," Nathan sighed.
"Lets start with your father," The doctor again looked down at this notebook.
"The asshole that tried to kill my love and actually shot me?" Nathan laughed.
"Yeah I figured that's good ground," The doctor looked up, "Could you bring us back to the beginning?"
"Well," Nathan looked at Lucas and wondered if he wanted to go on, "I guess it started when I was in Jr High. That was the first time anyway."
"You call that trying?" Dan grabbed a hold of Nathan's collar.
"I'm doing the best I can!" Nathan turned his face away trying not to cry.
"Your fucking grandmother could do better than that and she's been dead for ten years! She's probably rolling in her grave right now!" Dan shook his fist making the very skinny Nathan flail about.
"I'll do better Daddy I promise!" Nathan couldn't fight back the tears anymore.
"I didn't know I had a daughter. Could have sworn I had a son!" Dan shoved Nathan backwards forcing him to the ground, "From now on you will call me Father."
"Yes Father," Nathan stood still crying.
"And stop fucking crying you pussy!" Dan smacked Nathan across the face with the back of his hand. The force knocked Nathan off his feet again. Deb watched from the window.
"And your mother didn't do anything?" The doctor was writing.
"No," Nathan's voice trembled, "Not until later really. I don't even know if you could really call it doing anything. Just more like giving in to him."
"Baby I'm so sorry!" Deb sat cradling Nathan.
"Why didn't you help me?" Nathan pushed away from her.
"I wanted to baby!" Deb's face was wet, "I couldn't. You have to believe me. Dan would have hurt me and what use could I be to you hurt."
"Your supposed to be my mother!" Nathan's eyes flashed with anger.
"Baby please you have to understand," Deb reached out but Nathan moved away.
"Get out!" Nathan spoke with pure anger.
"Sweetie," Deb tried to reach for him again.
"GET OUT!" Nathan shoved her backwards. Deb looked at him with fear and walked out of the room.
"It was the first time I ever did anything to hurt my mother," Nathan took a deep breath. It was very apparent that he was trying not to cry.
"Please Nathan, don't hold anything back," The doctor pushed the Kleenex box toward him.
"I'm fine!" Nathan glared up at him.
"Nathan he's only here to help," Lucas put his hand on Nathan's chest.
"I highly doubt this is helping," Nathan stood dropping Lucas' hands.
"I understand your mother left your father," The doctor went on as though he didn't notice.
"I was a Freshman," Nathan said after looking at Lucas. He figured he would do this for him, "I woke up one day and there was a note saying she'd explain one day," Nathan turned back toward the doctor, "She didn't come back until he was dead."
"Did she ever tell you why she didn't bring you with her?" The doctor looked up from writing.
"I never asked," Nathan sat back down, "I don't think I really care. I just like the fact that I had my mother back. I don't want to mess that up with something from the past."
"It would probably be best if you asked-"
"NO!" Nathan shouted making both the doctor and Lucas jump.
"Nathan you should listen to him," Lucas put a hand on his shoulder, "He knows what he's doing."
"Why should I make her relive that?" Nathan looked at Lucas.
"Because that's one thing you have to get by," The doctor spoke.
"Well you can just forget about it," Nathan leaned back.
"I can't make you do anything I guess," The doctor wrote on his notebook, "Is there anything else I need to know?"
"He beat the shit out of me every chance he could," Nathan laughed, "Until I moved out."
"Lay another hand on me and I'm gone!" Nathan yelled to a drunk Dan.
"You think I'm scared of your pussy ass?" Dan laughed.
"Its not only me you have to worry about." Nathan grinned. That was enough to set Dan off. He ran at Nathan and his fist landed a cross his face. Nathan fell back to the floor.
"Hope you like jail," Nathan laughed rubbing his jaw.
"That's why you would come to school looking like that," Lucas looked on the edge of tears.
"I told everyone it was from my basketball practice," Nathan grabbed Lucas' hand.
"Why didn't you tell anyone sooner?" The doctor continued writing.
"Some small stupid part of me hoped it would stop," Nathan chuckled, "I thought that maybe if I just kept doing what the told me and didn't fight back, he would love me again."
"Alright we're making progress now-" The doctor looked up.
"Progress?" Nathan laughed.
"Okay," The doctor searched his notes, "Lucas your turn."
"Okay," Lucas shifted some, "Other than the night that he came in and decided he wanted to shoot me, Dan was only in my life one other time."
"What are you doing here?" Karen hissed as he opened the door.
"I decided to come see the bastard," Dan pushed his way past Karen but didn't let him get far. Little Lucas back into a corner.
"You have no right to be here!" Karen, though much smaller than Dan, shoved him back threw the threshold of the door.
"He's my son," Dan grabbed a hold of Karen's throat, "I have all the right to see him!"
"MOMMY!" An six year old Lucas ran toward the door. He aimed his head downward and rammed his head right where it counted. Dan crumpled on the other side of the door.
"You little fucker!" Dan screamed in pain.
"Now get the hell out of here or I'll call the cops!" Karen picked up Lucas and slammed the door shut.
"And you never saw him after that?" The doctor was writing yet again.
"Other than at school events or far off in the distance," Lucas shook his head, "Not until the night he decided he wanted to kill me."
"Seems you two have quite the history," The doctor looked up sympathetically.
"Yeah," Nathan half laughed, "We haven't even gotten to Ian or Chase yet."
It was 6 o'clock when Nathan and Lucas walked through the door to their house. Nathan set alarm and walked into the living room. Lucas was in the kitchen making sure the dogs were fed. Nathan flicked on the TV and went to the sports channel.
"LUCAS GET IN HERE!" Nathan shouted out.
"WHAT?" Lucas ran in with the dog food still I hand.
"It's the Ravens!" Nathan looked at him with a huge grin on his face. On the TV screen displayed the team jumping for joy with the words: SMALL TOWN TEAM WINS BIG!
"State?" Lucas ran over and sat down next to Nathan.
"Isn't that awesome!" Nathan leaned back shaking his head.
"Hey our team made it," Lucas put the dog food bag down beside the couch and leaned against Nathan.
"But that was our Junior year," Nathan looked down at him.
"When I was still just watching you in the locker room," Lucas shook his eyebrows.
"You dirty bird!" Nathan laughed kissing Lucas. Then they heard a crunching noise that made them both jump up.
"What's that?" Lucas hugged onto Nathan tight.
"Our ferocious Champ and Mella!" Nathan laughed looking down at the two dogs tearing into the dog food.
"I didn't put enough in their bowls I guess," Lucas laughed petting Champ.
A few hours later they were laying in bed. Sweaty from the romp they had just gotten done with. Lucas had his head on Nathan's chest and was drawing pattern's on Nathan's stomach. Nathan laughed every few seconds as he slid his finger gently over a ticklish section. The phone rang and Lucas leaned over to answer it.
"Roe house," Lucas answered.
"Who is it?" Nathan asked after a few seconds.
"Hold on," Lucas' face went serious.
"What's wrong?" Nathan shifted to a sitting up position as Lucas did the same.
"It's my mom," Lucas dropped the phone.
A/N2: I know this one is shorter than the others but I kind of just wanted to get the Dan and stuff history out of the way for this sections stories. This will probably be the last chapter than focus on those things in their past. Look at it as a farewell to the old and a hello to the new stories!
