Wow, I haven't updated this story in forever.... But I got some inspiration, so here goes nothing! Sorry about it taking so long... Oh yeah, and this is so AU and historically inaccurate so far it isn't even funny....

I don't own Hetalia! end /AN/

With South Korea gone, Russia was pacing in the kitchen, unwittingly slowing the production of dinner by his mere presence. Who could be next on the list? Perhaps the Czech Republic? Or maybe he could force one of the countries he already watched into his house.... That might be good. Yes! It would!

He punctuated the thought with a sudden stop and excited exclamation. "We're taking Hungary!" Latvia yelped and spilled flour all over the floor, and Lithuania burned his hand on the pot he was cooking soup in.

"Ow! But why?! You already control her anyway..." Lithuania was sucking his hand as he spoke, making him sound a little funny. Russia laughed, clapping him on the back and making him wince.

"But it is not quite the same thing, comrade! Don't worry, Hungary was a maid for some time, she'll be very helpful, da?" Estonia just ignored all around him, focusing instead on snapping beans. Lithuania looked worried for Hungary's wellfare, but knew better than to cut in. Hungary was a strong woman, he reasoned, she would survive....

"So, you guys had better be ready to go in fifteen minutes!" Russia sounded cheerful, but Lithuania hesitated. "Um... What about dinner?" Russia grinned wider. "Latvia can finish cooking it!" Latvia jumped at the mention of his name, and scrambled to take over cooking the soup.

Lithuania sighed, but knew he did not want to be late in getting ready.

Fifteen minutes later

They were assembled and ready to go scare the crap out of Hungary. Russia was whistling as they headed out, happily shouldering his waterpipe. "This will be easy, da?" The other two just nodded mutely, afraid their voices would betray them or they would say something stupid. Russia grinned, swinging open the gate to Hungary's yard with a push of his pipe.

"Hungary~? Hello~?" Russia waited, listening for signs of the rebellious female moving around in the house. He was rewarded when the door slammed open, revealing Hungary with her frying pan. "What the heck, Russia?!"

"Hi! Would you like to become one with me?" Russia asked innocently, spreading his hands wide as if he expected her to run down and hug him in delight at the question. Hungary gaped for second, then glared angrily. She hefted up her frying pan, advancing towards Russia slowly. When she spoke, her dark tone made the two present Baltics shake as badly as their absent brother.

"The very nerve, Russia! I believe I have made myself perfectly clear in the past, so you can go and-" Russia cut her off before she started cursing. "You don't really have a choice, comrade!" He was chuckling like this was a small faux pas Hungary had made. Hungary did not take this news well. She swung her pan at his head furiously, her face turned ugly with anger.

"You b- urgh!" Russia had dodged, and thrown all his weight into a blow to her abdomen. This did not seem to be enough to stop her, however, as she rose screaming, and took a shot at his shoulder, which she hit- hard. Russia let out a strangled groan, then seized Hungary around the throat, forcing her to the ground. She struggled against his grip, but Russia was just too strong, and slowly she stopped struggling and lay limply on the ground.

Lithuania looked on in horror. "Is.. Is she dead?!" Russia laughed, standing up. "Of course not, she's just passed out. You two should carry her for me, since I did all the fighting." Lithuania just nodded, and he and Estonia lifted her between them.

A few minutes later

Latvia was leaning over Slovakia, who had recovered enough to come into the kitchen and demand in horror what he was doing with that poor soup. She was now adding her favorite spices to it, while Latvia followed her around the kitchen nervously.

"R-Russia doesn't like th-that stuff..." he said, standing behind her as she poured the beans into a pot. She continued on like he hadn't even spoken, looking for a lid. "Hey, Latvia, be a sweetheart and go get me a lid, okay? I can't bend over right now..."

Latvia sighed, and leaned down into the cupboard, digging around for the right size lid.

"We're home!" Russia's joyous exclamation caused Latvia to squeak and hit his head inside the cupboard. Slovakia turned around, greeted by the sight of Russia entering the kitchen. Estonia and Lithuania followed a few minutes later, looking a little worn out. Latvia stood up quickly, holding his head.

"R-Russia! Um, dinner's almost ready- I mean, it is ready- kind of- But we're not behind schedule-!" Slovakia just watched the shorter nation put his foot in his mouth with horror. She sincerely hoped Russia wasn't as bad to occupied countries as he was made out to be.....

/AN/ And so, yes, Hungary has been made an official part of the Soviet Union... Man, I was historically ignorant when I started this story....