Chapter Seventeen

"Ah, you missed it!" Jack said when they got back to the trucks.

"Missed what?" the Doctor asked.

"Kevin Bacon is no more," Jack said.

"Really? What happened to Mister Footloose?" Alan said as he waited to climb up into the bed of the truck.

Frankie rolled her eyes.

"He was lying on a bed and this harpoon point came up through the bed and up through his throat," she said to them.

"Yeah, Daddy," Christopher said, as he got inside and handed him and Chaska their hot dogs, "and when it happened, blood gushed up and he was gasping for air before he snuffed it."

"Charming," Alan said dryly as he went to sit down beside Rose.

"One other woman got her throat slit as she stood up against a tree," Rose said to him. "That was charming as well."

Alan shook his head.

"Hate horror films," he muttered as he picked up his DS.

He resumed his game and then heard Namid breathing in his ear again. He closed his eyes.

"Oh, Rose, breathe harder for me and…Ah!"

Rose laughed when Namid rolled her eyes. She took a bite of her hot dog.

"What are you playing?" she said between the mouthful of food.

"I'm playing a game called dodge the hotdog pieces and spit from my niece's open gob," he said to her.

"Mi-mi, don't talk with your mouth full," Rain said sternly. "Your uncle doesn't want hot dog all over his face."

Namid swallowed the food in her mouth.

"Sorry, Mummy…so whatcha playin'?" she asked as Sokanon came over to look.

"Civilization," he said.

"What do you do?"

"You build up civilizations from the ground up and run them and battle others," Alan said. "It's the perfect game for a Time Lord such as myself. It makes me feel like God!"

Namid and Sokanon giggled when he stared at them with wide eyes.

"Hi, God," Sokanon said.

"Greetings, young one, art thou behaving thyself?" Alan said in a deep voice.

"I…s'pose," Sokanon said.

"Good. Now begone and watch thy film so I can resume my game, mortal!" he said to them.

Namid and Sokanon exchanged a glance before they crawled back to their father.

"Uncle Alan is weird sometimes, Daddy," Sokanon said.

She giggled when the Doctor gave her a shocked look.

"You're just finding this out now?" he said while Alan chuckled.

Both girls sat beside their parents as they finished their hot dogs and Coke. The Doctor glanced at them both as they munched on them.

"My darlings, I am in awe that you can sit there and eat Cybermen meat while you watch people get sliced and diced on the screen," he said to them.

The children were finished with the hot dogs by the time they were near the end of the movie. The Doctor cocked his eyebrow when he saw the last girl running around screaming while various dead bodies popped up from everywhere.

"Met a few like that before," he murmured to Rain. "Ones who loved to show off their kills."

"Like Jasper," Rain murmured back.

The Doctor's face darkened.

"Yeah, like him," he said to her. "Although the fact that this boy's mum was the one doing the killings is a surprise."

"Yeah, I forgot Jason's mother was the killer in the first one," she whispered back. "Jason takes over for her and there are ninety million sequels so it's easy to forget."

"I think there are ninety million sequels to every horror movie," the Doctor whispered back while she nodded. "And most of them end like this with one hysterical screaming female trying to outrun the killer."

He grinned and raised his voice so Rose could hear him.

"Now…if this were Rose, she would have grabbed an oar and bashed the old woman's head in immediately instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off."

Rain laughed when Rose set her Coke down, crawled over to him and gave him a big hug.

"Too right I would," she said softly. "Although, I don't think even I could do it half as well as Donna could."

"Oh blimey, Donna would hit her and then stand there for a half hour beating the corpse's head into a bloody goo while screaming at the top of her lungs," the Doctor said while Rose sniggered.

He smiled when she kissed his cheek and crawled back to her spot beside Alan.

"And furthermore," Rose said, leaning up to look at the Doctor. "Furthermore, I would not scream like that since that usually alerts the killer and lets them know where you are."

"Spot on, ya clever girl," the Doctor said while everyone else in the truck laughed. "See, I taught ya well. Rule one, don't wander off. Rule two, don't strip down to your knickers and run in a blind panic, screaming like a banshee while a killer follows your voice. Rule Three; never have sex because according to these movies, if you have sex, you die."

"Got that right. The one that's left is usually the goody-two-shoes virgin who doesn't have sex or do drugs," Rain said to him.

"Right and that's a good thing because after witnessing all her friends getting chopped up into steak and kidney pie, she can renounce the world and join a nunnery where she'll never have to see such things ever, ever again."

He took a sip of his Coke and glanced at Namid who was sipping her Coke with him.

"Mi-mi, why am I so cute?" he said to her.

He giggled when Namid got an odd look on her face, put her cup of Coke down and stared at him.

"Huh?" she said.

"Just answer the question," he said. "Why am I so cute?"

"I didn't think you were."

She grabbed her Coke and ran away as the Doctor's mouth dropped open and Rain and Rose chortled. They watched as she jumped down, ran to the third truck, got up in it and ran to Doc.

"Howdy," Doc said as she sat down beside him. "Come to watch the splatterfest with me now?"

"Yeah, and I needed to get away before Daddy punched me into goo," Namid said.

Doc looked over at the Doctor who was giving him an incensed look.

"What's this about punching my daughter into goo?" he said to him.

"I asked the child why I'm so cute and she said I wasn't. So now the little cabbagehead must pay for her insult," he said while everyone laughed.

Doc looked at Namid.

"Why did you say that? He is cute," he said to her.

"Cause I wanna make him mad so he'll do something silly," Namid said loudly.

Suddenly in her mind's eye, the Doctor stepped into view.

"Make me do something silly? Okay, here's something silly for ya!" the mental Doctor said.

Namid giggled when a clown suit and wig appeared on him and a unicycle appeared under him. Namid laughed when the Doctor rode around in a circle while he juggled silver platters.

"This silly enough for ya, Rainbow?" mental Doctor yelled as he rode around and around in a circle.

"Daddy, quit that!" Namid said while the Doctor giggled.

"You wanted me to do something silly, so I did," he said to her as he shrugged.

Suddenly Namid and most of the other women and girls let out a scream. The woman had survived her ordeal with Jason's mom and was lying in a rowing boat when a ten year old Jason suddenly leapt up out of the water and pulled her down under. Doc and John both grabbed their daughters and soothed them while Rain did the same with Sokanon.

"That was ace!" David said as the other boys laughed. "Ah man, that was the best part of the whole film!"

Doc, Rain, the Doctor and John calmed their daughter's rattled nerves while the credits rolled and the lights came back up.

"Are you alright, Ya'nala?" Doc said as he rubbed Namid's arm.

"Yeah, I just didn't expect that, Dada," she said. "I'm okay now."

"She's not the only one who screamed. Donna just about wet herself, I think," Awinita said to them.

"Too right I did. I'm glad I got two hearts cause I think one of them stopped beating when that kid rose up out of the water," she said, placing her hand over her left heart. "I'm off to the loo now and hopefully I can get my second heart started again."

"I'll go with you," Frankie said.

"Me too," Marion added, getting up.

The adult women except for Imiko got up and went together to the restroom while the men sat with the kids and tried to calm the girls down. Christopher and Chaska sat back on their butts while they reached for their Cokes. Chaska glanced around and noticed Sokanon was cuddled up against her father while she sipped her drink. The Doctor watched the preview while he rubbed her back. Chaska stared at her in shock when he noticed how shaken she was.

"What are ya scared for? That wasn't nothin'. It wasn't even the scariest thing in the whole movie," Chaska said to her.

"Chaska, stop," the Doctor chided him.

"Yeah, but it wasn't that scary. Me and Christopher didn't scream, why did you?"

"Chaska," the Doctor said in a warning tone of voice.

"I didn't think that was gonna happen, okay?" Sokanon said to him. "I got scared. Daddy said it's okay to be scared sometimes, even he gets scared, so clear off and leave me alone."

Chaska shook his head.

"Girls," he muttered as Christopher nodded in agreement.

"I'm brave enough," Sokanon muttered under her breath as she sipped her Coke.

"Yes, you are, you're very brave," the Doctor whispered in her ear.

Sokanon pressed her cheek against his t-shirt as the Doctor kissed her head. He feigned surprise when Tara came back out of the building and walked towards his truck.

"My wife is back over there, you overshot him," he said, pointing to John.

He giggled when she eyed him before climbing inside.

"I thought I'd share the last movie with you," she said to him.

"Oh, how thoughtful of you. It's nice to know you still wanna spend time with me and not spend all your time with the misses over there."

"Piss off, Wifey-poo!" John called to him.

"No and get to work on my alimony check, home wrecker!" the Doctor said as the children laughed. "And tell the Ball and Chain beside ya to send my other daughter back to me."

"Hey, Ball and Chain…" John said, poking Doc's arm.

"Adam, Theta, go and rough him up for me so he'll stop referring to us as the misses and ball and chain," Doc said to them.

"I will if you give me some de-looomptious hot doggies," Adam said.

John and Namid giggled as Doc rolled his eyes.

"You know, that bit wasn't that amusing," he said to him.

"That's because you're my age, Doc. The clones are much, much younger and Jack…well….Jack's Jack and that's a fact."

"Oho, listen to the Rhyme Lord over there," Jack said while the children giggled. "I'm sorry if I seem immature and childish to you."

"You are," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, you're right, he is, take it from me," Ianto replied.

"Quit butting in…Wifey-poo," Jack said while Theta and Adam chortled.

The Doctor glanced at Imiko and noticed she was listening quietly with a huge smile on her face.

"I'm betting you watched a lot of this when you traveled with the likes of him," he said, pointing at Alan.

"Hai, I am very used to this type of behavior when I'm around all of you," she said. "But I like it. I think it's funny the way you talk to one another."

"Yeah, well, everyone over the years has sorta created their own dynamic with one another," the Doctor said to her.

"Do you think it odd that you have five brothers that are you?" Imiko said.

"You have no idea how odd it is…" he said as the other brothers laughed hysterically. "Having Alan was odd enough but to find two other Doctors and their clones and now we run around together…not to mention three Roses, three Jennys, two Jacks, two Donnas, two Rains…"

Imiko laughed.

"Congratulations on being able to tell each other apart then, Doctor-san," she said to him.

"We worked out a system like dressing differently or wearing our hair differently," he said. "Course Alan here is in a class all by himself."

"I'm the court jester of the sextuplets," Alan said, glancing up from his DS.

"Got that right," Tara said. "The weird, psycho court jester."

She ducked when Alan kept his eyes on his game and tried to grab at her head.

"Where's the other women? Did you take a diversion and everyone but you ended up in the Black Hole of Calcutta?" Adam asked Tara.

"No, the bathrooms were kinda full. I managed to snag the last one and they had to wait."

"What'd ya do, run over everyone's head to get to it?" Ianto said.

"Ba-zang! Score one for my hubby!" Jack said as he gave Ianto a high-five.

"I try," Ianto said, shrugging.

"Alan! There it is again!" Adam yelled as he jabbed his finger at the screen.

Alan looked up and set his DS down when the little German guy began to talk.

"Yes! Here it is, Brother," he said to the Doctor.

The Doctor and Theta watched it.

"DE-LOOOOOOOOPTIOUS HOT DOGGIES!" the clones and Jack yelled when the German man said the line.

Doc looked at his counterparts.

"Now was that bit that funny?" he asked them.

"No," Theta said, shaking his head.

"Aw, you old men are just sticks in the mud sometimes," Adam said.

"And you clones are a tad immature sometimes," Doc replied. "Sometimes it's hard to believe you're all me."

"Well, we're the wacky, offbeat side of ya," Adam said as John nodded. "Trust me; I used to be all serious before Alan helped me loosen up."

"And me," John said. "I nearly lost Rosie because Jackie hammered into me that I should be responsible and serious."

"Thank the gods his Jackie's different," Adam said, pointing at the Doctor. "At least there's one sane Jackie in all of reality."

Jackie stuck her head over the side of the truck.

"Correction, two sane Jackies," Adam said while they laughed.

They glanced over when the other women finally came out.

"Well, look who finally escaped from the Black Hole of Calcutta!" Adam called to them.

Tara laughed when the women stopped and gave him an odd look before continuing on.

"Have no idea what that means and I don't think I wanna know," Donna said to the other women as they climbed up into the truck beds.

Rain settled down beside the Doctor and Sokanon.

"What were you talking about?" she asked him.

He chuckled.

"We were just entertaining Imiko with our usual antics," the Doctor said.

He wrapped his arm around her and she, Sokanon and Tara snuggled up against him as Flash Gordon started.