A/N: The final chapter. A final big thank you to Alivewiththegloryoflove for checking this for me and giving me the inspiration to keep writing (by the way sweetie, I kept re-reading the crying bit and it just didn't sound right so I removed it). I love you man!
Be warned this chapter contains a very mild lemon. *Very* mild mind you, in fact it's barely there at all, I swear! I let my husband read this and his reaction to it was, "This guy's a perv! Oh yes, look at me, I'm dying, I need sex." haha!
Thanks to everyone who read this, even if you didn't review. Please review if you like, or if you do not. ^_^
Survival Instinct
Chapter 5
The Sacrifice
Goddam it, this stings! I winced at every slice; I had to cut the same area over and over again to make sure the cuts were deep enough to get sufficient blood out of them. I started at my elbow and was making my way up to my wrist. I had placed the cup between my knees as I sat on my wooden stool and with my elbow resting just above the cup and my hand held up. I found this to be the easiest way to collect the blood as it fell from my arm. My arm was stained red and felt hot. I started a new incision, digging the blade into my flesh I closed my eyes tightly and began making the slow movement across. I didn't need to do this one again, the blade hit it's mark the first time and a new gush of blood made it's way down towards my elbow. I now had five separate lacerations on my arm but still had only just managed to fill the cup after an hour. Maybe I wasn't doing it right.
I took the cup in my hand and made my way to the bed where Kain was lying, still unconscious but breathing at least. I had placed a blanket over him more for my own benefit as I did not want to see his chest. I took his head in my hand and lifted it off the pillow. I hope I know what I'm doing, I placed the cup to his lips and gently started to pour it into his mouth slowly.
My God, it's working! I could feel him swallowing the fluid and after a few sips his eyes started to flutter. Kain began moaning but didn't resist me. I was smiling now for I was saving him.
His eyes slowly started to open, those wonderful yellow eyes, I had never been so happy to see them. I took the cup from his lips and ran my fingers through his hair.
".. More..." was the only thing he said and his eyes struggled to stay open. I looked at the cup but it was empty, he had already finished what had taken me at least an hour to prepare. I couldn't cut myself again, it would take too long. There had to be another way. Kain was starting to lose consciousness again already. I cautiously lifted the blanket to check his wounds, he groaned as the fabric came away, it clung to his blood. Maybe it was my imagination but it looked worse.
My arm was still bleeding but starting to clot. I looked at the dark blood as it began drying. I knelt on the floor by the bed and placed my arm over Kain's face. I started to squeeze from my elbow down to my wrist with my free hand. The bleeding started again and I felt Kain's lips against my skin. He grabbed my arm with both hands this time and gorged himself.
I was feeling the pull now. His tongue was caressing my cuts, stimulating the blood flow. It hurt like Hell but my God it was glorious. My blood was staining his mouth and his fingers as he continued to satisfy his need. His fangs grazed against the soft flesh but strangely I felt him resisting the urge to bite into me. The grip in his hands was starting to crush me.
He finally relinquished his hold and inhaled through his teeth. He held my arm away from his face and arched his back.
"I can't... keep away... I need... more..." he was battling with his hunger, his need for me and our friendship.
I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to lift Kain up so that his body rested against me.
There's only one thing I can do now.
"Kain?" I asked, his eyelids fluttered at the sound of my voice I moved my hair from the side of my neck. "Kain, listen to me. I want you to do whatever you need to do."
His eyelids flew open for a second and looked at me, he looked at my exposed neck, but it was too much and he closed them again. He struggled for breath, "No..."
"Please Kain. Let me do this."
"Shelindria... I will kill you... if you... let me." The pain in his voice was unmistakeable, the pain of his wounds and his words.
"You saved me once, Kain. Let me save you now." I brought him closer to me so I could feel his breath against my neck. His hands held my shoulders so softly, his fingers smeared my blood on my dress as he embraced me.
"Why..?" he asked "Why would you... save me..?" his lips were close to my ear and his voice barely a whisper.
"You are my friend." I responded and held him tight. I started to cry. I did not know if I could say anything more to convince him of my desire to help him.
He crushed me with his embrace and we shared this moment of closeness. I felt his weak heartbeat against my own. He kissed my neck and his lips drew away from his teeth. I knew then that he felt the same way about me.
The piercing pain in my throat burned with such ferocity. I could feel his fangs within my neck, tearing at the flesh to make the blood flow with ease into his waiting mouth. His tongue again caressed my skin, stimulating the flow as it came with my pulse. Although I knew that my life would end soon, I knew that I would not fight him. We continued to hold onto each other, he held me in this embrace of death, his hands stroked my hair as if he were trying to comfort me in my last terrible moments. I could feel myself being pulled into him and I could no longer hold on to myself, I felt myself draining away.
I knew then that I had to tell him something, before I fully gave myself to him.
"Kain," I whispered, I could feel his fangs inside me as my throat moved while I spoke, "To answer your question... I am a virgin..."
Then he relinquished me. He drew in a deep breath, trying to restrain himself from continuing. He pushed me away but still held my shoulders fiercely. His strength was obviously returning, although it was not fully restored. He gazed at me, his mouth was covered in my blood and he licked me off his teeth.
"You are?" He looked so wonderful, despite the gore on his face, in fact it made him all the more attractive; my God, was he trembling, or was it me? I felt cold, so maybe it was me. I nodded my response. Kain's hands moved from my shoulders to the sides of my face and his fingers went through my hair. My neck felt hot and I could tell that it was from the blood running out of the two tiny but deep wounds.
Kain smiled at me, his teeth glistened in the candlelight. I was not prepared for his next question.
"If you will give me your life to save mine, I can offer you one more thing as your friend. Do you want to die a girl or a woman?"
I knew exactly what he meant, but I could not answer him though. The words had escaped me. I could feel his hands becoming tense; he was struggling to restrain himself. I had little time to decide.
"Shelindria...?" he asked me in a whisper, "I cannot control this. I need to have you now." I could tell that he meant that in two contexts. He drew his face closer to mine and I closed my eyes as I felt his lips against my own, sticky and warm from my blood.
So this was how it felt: my first kiss. I never dreamt that I would share this moment with a vampire, not in wildest fantasies. Not even when I yearned for Kain's return did I ever imagine that he would ever kiss me. His movements were slow and graceful although I wondered whether he was restraining himself for my fragile benefit or whether his lack strength was what held him back. My thoughts were quickly resolved though as he brought his hands away from my face and down towards my chest where he tore my simple dress open, slid it off my shoulders and then placed his hands back to their original position, drawing me closer to him. My bloodied arm stung where the fabric of my dress lay against it. I pulled my arms out of it and held him. During this time he did not stop kissing me and although I had not given him an answer to his proposal, I was in no mood to stop him. This felt too good to stop.
I could taste myself on him, his mouth was filled with copper flavour and I cut my tongue on his fangs.
I surprised myself. I was the one who ended the kiss. I drew in a breath and waited a moment for my head had started to spin. I looked at Kain. He was looking stronger now, the blanket I had used to hide his wounds still covered his chest; I was not ready to see if my efforts had worked.
"For a human you're admirable," he said, his fingers ran through my wavy hair "Such desire for life. Not many humans last this long." He took his hands away from my face and started to push himself towards the wall away from me. He winced at the movement as the blanket began to come away from his torso, revealing the still open wounds and dark blood that had held the fabric in place until now. I got up from my bed and turned away, with my hand covering my mouth. I held my dress at my waist line with my free hand. I made sure that I was stable before I turned back to him. My hand was cold and white. I could not tell if that was due to where I'd cut it previously or if it was due to my massive blood loss anyway. I swallowed my fear and turned back to face him, he was looking at me, waiting for me. He'd adjusted the blanket across himself.
"Did you know?" I asked him, "Did you know that I would offer my life for you?"
"No. I only came to you because I knew I could depend on you to shelter me. I did not expect you to sacrifice yourself. As your friend, I would never have asked that of you."
His eyes told the truth. I let my dress drop to the floor and I stood naked in front of him. He took a deep breath, inhaling my scent and smiled.
I walked to him, knowing that this was my end. I reached the bed and Kain reached out his arms to me. I went to him and sat astride him. He held me tight in his arms and we kissed once more. Then he gazed into my eyes, he moved my hair from my neck and then he sank his teeth firmly back into the wounds.
We moved as one while he consumed me. It was the most fantastic sensation as I felt myself leaving my body while he entered me. I could feel that Kain's movements were restrained and despite my pleas for him to be more forceful he refused, telling me that if he were to let himself free upon my body it would kill me just as assuredly as his drinking my blood and that he would rather let me die as a result of his "kiss" than his carnal actions.
I could not believe how long I managed to hold on. I was starting to bleed all over now from where Kain's claws were scratching my skin. My neck felt hot from the tearing of my flesh by his fangs and my increasing heartbeat which pumped my blood into his waiting mouth. My head felt light but it only added to my euphoria. I felt like I was being torn to pieces by an angel, internally and externally at the same time. His lips barely left my neck and his tongue rubbed at my throbbing jugular.
I bit my lip, making it bleed. I felt myself nearing the edge but clawed myself back to stay with him. My eyes started to roll back in ecstasy as Kain bit me harder, he was starting to let go of his own self control, giving me what I wanted, his full force ripping me apart on all sides. I was slipping away now, the darkness was encroaching upon me. Oh my God! I love him! I screamed in my head. That was when he released me.
His fangs left my throat. He threw himself back and cried out like a demonic animal. His mouth covered in crimson, viscous fluid. I tried to stay with him but the darkness was upon me before I knew what was happening. The last thing I saw was Kain's face, his body... he was healed... he was glorious.
I could hear my heartbeat becoming slower, slower; not stopping. The rhythm was weak, but sustained. It was the only thing I was aware of. Would my determination for life safe me this time? I could not answer that question. I let myself fall further into the darkness and let the sound of my heartbeat surround me. I do not know if I will ever awake from this, but right now, I do not care.
