Insecurities: Morgead
Morgead was sitting on his bed when he realized that he was supposed to be in a meeting. He decided he ought to go and at least apologize for missing it so he stood up and walked out the door.
He walked around the corner and crashed into Jez. He knew it was Jez before he saw her simply because of the Jeziness of the air. He caught her waist on instint and loosened his grip moments later.
"Hey, Jez, what's the hurry?" he asked.
"They're moving us so we have to pack. And 'we' means you, too, so get on it."
Then she wriggled out of his arms and ran off toward her room.
He twitched irritably. It always happened like that. He tried to hug her, she danced away, he tried to cuddle with her on the couch and she scooted away, he tried to kiss her, and, well the outcome was obvious.
And it had happened again.
He suddenly found himself following her. "Where are they taking us, Jez?" She shrugged. Great now she wasn't even talking to him.
Sure he understood why she ran from the physical contact. After all, they had spent the better part of their lives arguing or trying to beat the crap out of each other. She really couldn't be blamed for being uncertain.
But when she pushed him away it broke his heart.
He found himself in his room so he started packing. As he packed his mind wandered to Jez. He could imagine her fiery red hair flying behind her as she rode her bike. He could remember how perfectly she had fit into his arms.
He missed the time right after they had discovered they were soul mates.
He was almost finished packing when he heard his name. He opened the door and looked at Jez.
"Hey, Jez, what's up?" he asked.
"I…" she paused. "I, um, came to see if you needed any help?"
"Oh… I'm almost done, actually," he said, wishing he didn't sound so disappointed.
"Oh, then I, um, I'll go see if I can find anything out. And then she ran off her long, red hair flying behind her.
He realized belatedly that he had reached out to her as though to try and keep her from fleeing. He dropped his arm.
"Ugh," he groaned. He slammed the door and began hitting his head against it.
"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" he questioned/demanded each time his head made contact with the door.
At the rate he and Jez were going, in three years she might be able to talk with him like she used to. Maybe before the end he would get to kiss her again (though that wasn't looking hopeful).
He wanted to be able to protect her, but she spent most of her time afraid of him. He wanted to be able to wipe away her tears, but most of her tears were his fault to begin with.
He loved her. Oh, gracious, he loved her. And no matter what he did he hurt her. No matter how hard he tried, he always scared her or made her cry or fill-in-the blank.
She probably would've been better off with Hugh, scrawny twit that he was. The thought of Jez even holding hands with Hugh made Morgead feel ill. His Jez with Hugh.
Not that she was. She wasn't, he forced himself to think. But that wasn't the point. Hugh never scared her or made her cry. And Hugh loved Jez, too.
And Jez, as much as Morgead hated, despised really, to admit it, Jez loved Hugh. If it hadn't been for the Soul Mate Principle… Morgead shuddered.
But Hugh wouldn't be wherever they were going. Everyone, except Iliana, who was going had a soul mate. He would have no one to worry about stealing Jez from him… except for Jez herself.
And though he had little faith in his ability to make Jez happy like she was in the old days he had complete faith in his stubbornness.
He finished packing and walked out the door. He watched as Quinn carried five boxes, full of weapons, female clothing, and other such things, toward the stairwell.
"Taking Rashel's stuff down for her?" he asked.
Quinn nodded, not looking at him. Morgead wondered if that would make Jez happy, too. Quinn went out of his way to protect and assist Rashel, so it only made sense that their relationship appeared so perfect. If he helped Jez the way Quinn helped Rashel… Jez would be happier with him… probably. And maybe it would start helping their relationship.
Morgead headed to Jez's room. He would take his cue from Quinn this time around.
