All the reviews + favorites + story alerts made me happy and want to continue writing this :D
Arigato~
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I'm sure you know that by now.
Day 8, Monday.
Dear fucking diary,
Remember how I said Zetsu was creeping the fuck out of me on Sunday? Well I further proved my point of him being my stalker when I noticed about 6 or 7 pairs of my underwear are missing. So unless Leader-sama came in here with his extra key, the pervy plant is sneaking into my room and stealing my shit.
Throughout the rest of the day I noticed for once, that Konan was being a really big bitch. Seriously, what crawled up her ass and died? Maybe something's going on? Leader-sama has been giving her shit left, right and center. It's not fucking Christmas, and Valentines Day passed a few days ago. Maybe she's finally leaving!
Day 9, Tuesday.
Dear fucking diary,
I woke up this morning, well technically afternoon, to everyone singing something downstairs. There are three things I hate the most in this world.
1. People who don't appreciate Jashin-sama: None of Akatsuki appreciates Jashin-sama other than me, which is why I should sacrifice them all.
2. Parties: They just annoy the fuck out of me. Unless there just happen to be strippers at the party, then Jashin-sama doesn't mind if I take a little time off to enjoy myself.
3. Singing: Especially when Konan, Tobi, Itachi… fuck whenever anyone sings it annoys me. Konan only sings about girly shit like puberty and boys, Kisame sings about, what else, fish, Deidara sings the same shit as Konan, Itachi sings about how he cuts himself and how no one appreciates the emo bastard, Leader-sama sings about, well pain, Sasori is just like Konan and Deidara, Tobi sings about Barbies and shit, and Kaku-jii sings about money and being a millionaire.
And downstairs there just happened to be a mixture of all three of those. I pushed my way through them to see what everyone was huddled around on the table, and there was a fucking cake. It said something like. "Happy Birthday Konan" Who woulda known it was her birthday? Maybe that's why she was so pissed at me.
According to previous birthdays at Akatsuki, we need to give "birthday bumps." I prefer stabbing people with my scythe, which is precisely what I did.
Leader-sama obviously got mad at me for doing that and sent me to my room. Who the fuck does he think he is, my father? No, because I sacrificed him to Jashin-sama ages ago. Whatever, it's late; I'll just go to bed.
Day 10, Wednesday.
Dear fucking diary,
Once again, more of my underwear are missing. Well at least I don't wear tightie-whities or else I'd be a little scared about my amazing reputation. Screw it, if someone wants to take my shit, let 'em. I'll just go commando.
The rest of the day was unproductive, it was only me and Kaku-jii home, but the disgusting noises coming from upstairs begged to differ. I could hear Kisame and Itachi fucking… It grosses me out.
I basically sat around the house naked for the rest of the day, that is, until the blue haired whore saw me and tried to murder me for getting my ass on her precious couch.
Day 11, Thursday.
Dear fucking diary,
I need to go on a fucking mission! Every fucking day all I do is sit around. Kisame's birthday is coming up in a few weeks; maybe we'll all go out and do something interesting. He'll most likely just wanna go to fuckin' SeaWorld or something.
Day 12, Friday.
Dear fucking diary,
I wonder if this is actually helping my 'anger management issues.' I still wanna kill Kaku-jii, and the Weasel and Shark-boy still piss me off, I'd say that means no.
All this journal does is make me look like a fruit. At least no one can see me, I'm sure I look pretty fucking girly at the moment. Sitting around in my room, wearing one of my only pairs of underwear left, which happen to be my Mr. Bunny ones, and writing in a diary.
Later on Deidara asked me if I'd ever had a girlfriend. It pissed me off cuz he asked it so it seemed like I couldn't get a girl. As if he knows the art of babe wooing! He's screwing Puppet Butt into sawdust. He asked me because apparently everyone thinks that me and Tobi are secretly together. That's fucking wrong on so many levels.
I suppose they think so because everyone is with someone else except for me, Tobi and Kaku-jii. But Kaku-jii is almost a hundred; I'd be surprised if he could even get it up.
Day 13, Saturday.
Dear fucking diary,
I woke up sometime last night cuz I got that creepy feeling like once again, I was being watched.
Then again this morning, when I woke up there was so sunlight coming in through my curtains even though my clock said it was almost 11. Instead if sunlight, when I looked outside I saw something black, white and green. Any guesses what it was? My guess is that it was that freak Zetsu. What if he rapes me? What if he splits himself apart and tag-teams me? I puked in my mouth a little there…
Maybe I'll ask Leader-sama to keep an eye on him. That is, if he's not busy screwing the bitch into everything in sight. Those two were at it like dogs last night!
Day 14, Sunday.
Dear fucking diary,
Fuck, today I learned the hard way not to tease Kisame about his blue skin. Apparently the Weasel takes offence when his boy-toy is being made fun of because he used his damn Tsukiyomi on me. I don't even know how I survived. Apparently I was out for a good 6 hours. It felt like a week.
In the Genjutsu I was completely paralyzed whenever I tried to smack anyone of be violent in any way. That might not seem so bad, but when you have Tobi singing and prancing around you for a week without being able to beat the living shit out of him, things get a little annoying.
Finally, xD I should prolly go to bed, I have a test tomorrow in Socials and since I've been writing this all night I haven't studied. I procrastinate a lot xD
