Once again, I claim no ownership to Death Note and the Mighty Boosh. This is all in good fun, I'm not trying to claim its characters as my own
A few notes about this chapter….
Chapter contains a shower scene – dedicated to Lili, the biggest Naboo fangirl I know
References to drugs/drinking/rape – this is made in a comedic manner, it's all in good fun, right Mikami-kun?
This is kind of a mixed up Death Note/Mighty Boosh universe. L isn't dead, Light is Kira, Misa-Misa is the second Kira, Mikami is Light's perverted follower who has a fetish for constantly cooing the word God into his ear (okay, so those last three things haven't changed that much). But Mello, Matt, and Near are working on the Kira case as well even though L hasn't died yet. I just wanted to find a way to work all of the characters I live into this fanfic. Sorry for any confusion.
(Oh, and yes, I know I'm cruel to Mikami. He's always been my favorite DN character to mock, so you should expect cruelty aimed towards him in future fanfics.)
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The Yagami House – Day Before Flight Takes Off; 9:30 PM
Light sat on the edge of his bed, brown locks a mess, falling in his face. The notebook rested in his lap with a pen in his hand, a few names of criminals were scrawled out onto the notebook but not nearly as many as usual. Today Kira just couldn't focus on being God. Ryuk, the Shinigami, stood in his room loudly eating an apple down to the core. He grinned at Light and chuckled, his voice was deep and a bit scratchy as he spoke to the young human male who was so determined to make an ideal world.
"Is something bothering you? Misa isn't here to bother you, you won't be seeing her until tomorrow." he asked, despite his eerie appearance he had always asked the most childish and curious questions, he definitely wasn't a frightening God of Death.
"Ryuk." Light said, looking up from the Death Note, his deep brown eyes narrowing as they made contact with Ryuk's much more powerful Shinigami eyes. "If I am going to make this world perfect, I can't have people abusing the Death Note and simply killing people they dislike."
The Shinigami chuckled at the irony, Light was trying to kill L – world famous detective – simply for doing his job. "So, is the great Kira going to kill them?"
"No."
Light never ceased to amaze Ryuk, it seemed that he was one of the few humans that could outsmart a God of Death – L being another. "Eh?"
"I want to let the great L handle this, I'm just going to watch. I want to know how L works Ryuk, I want to know what he's like when solving a case that isn't mine."
"Oh, of course."
"I just can't help but wonder what moron decided to use something as powerful as the Death Note to kill a few people they didn't like."
The Nabootique – Day Before Flight Takes Off 2:45 PM
"Howard, I can't believe you!" For two weeks now Vince had been yelling at Howard for writing a handful of names in the Death Note.
"Vince, I didn't know it was going to work." Said Howard, exasperated.
"Either way, you're a killer! And people might start thinking I'm your accomplice!" Vince frowned. "That's not good for my image. Vince Noir, accomplice in murder!? That'll be awful, Mick Jagger never hung out with Patrick Sherrill."
Howard was about to reply when Vince's cell phone rang, playing the irritating tune of the song Cars by Gary Numan. "Hold on, it's Leroy."
After Howard waited for several minutes listening to his jazz record Vince finally returned grinning. "Well Howard, I'll see you later." He said, approaching the door.
"Where are you off to?" asked Howard, confused that his jazz-hating counterpart was suddenly leaving with a pleased look on his face.
"Party at Leroy's." replied Vince. "You can come if you'd like. Unless you'd rather sit around listening to your jazz records…"
"No, I'll go with you!" Howard said, he turned off the record and spun around, knocking over a shelf of merchandise.
When one shelf of merchandise went toppling down the others did as well, creating something of a chain reaction, like dominos or something to that effect. Vince and Howard glanced at one another and quickly left the shop before Naboo could show up in time to scold them.
Fifteen minutes later
Warm water ran down the enigma's bare skin, his turban (blue, because his red turban smelt of Tequila after his recent stag week with the rest of the shaman) was sitting by the sink with his robe thrown over the door handle. His black hair was shiny and silky, thanks to Naboo's special Miracle Wax, something he'd made himself that he even let Vince use occasionally – it had gotten him out of some tight spots. Brown eyes searched for the bar of soap, which he lathered all over his clear and pale skin.
"Shit." He muttered, a slight wisp in his voice, as he dropped the bar of soap onto the shower floor.
The shaman continued his shower, one of the few times when he could be peaceful and not have to ask Howard and Vince why they were acting suspicious or where one of his belongings were. Turning off the warm water he dried himself off with a blue towel and wrapped it around his waist – deciding against putting on his robe for the time being since the shop was closed for the day. He walked out into the shop to ask Vince where his Miracle Wax was, when he found himself witnessing a disaster that had once been his shop. A curse didn't escape his lips this time, he was too shocked at every shelf of merchandise being tipped over with the contents spilled out. His grasp on the towel was released, and it fell to the floor.
Arriving in the UK – 7:30 AM
"Ryuzaki." Light said with a smile, addressing L with the name he had been told to call him in public. "You are the worst passenger on a plane."
The detective blinked, looking at Light. He didn't laugh even though Light's words were obviously teasing, he didn't even smile, his dark eyes were filled with mild interest.
"What do you mean, Raito-kun?" asked L, chewing his thumbnail as his coal eyes watched the conveyer belt where their luggage would be arriving soon.
"You ate so many sweets, you bought so many sweets! How much yen did all that cost? I'm just glad it wasn't my money…"
L leaned across the conveyer belt, grabbing the handle to Light's suitcase, he handed it to Light with ease. Then he grabbed his own suitcase, speaking to Light from over his shoulder as he made sure it was their luggage. "It was only 8,935 yen, Raito-kun." He replied with a shrug as he turned to face the other.
"Well, we should probably get going." Said Raito with a smile. "Don't spend that much money on sweets on the flight back, Ryuzaki. Some of that money was mine."
"Yes, but those sweets are necessary if I'm to be of any use when solving this case." Replied L as he stood slightly hunched forwards, his long pale fingers wrapped around the handle of his suitcase which Light guessed was most likely filled with grocery bags of even more sweets.
"I wonder if this 'Nabootique' sells any sweets, it's been ages since I've tasted the kinds of candy they sell in England." Said L thoughtfully to himself, Light laughed good-naturedly.
"Honestly Ryuzaki, all you think about is your stomach." He said as the two made their way out of the airport.
"Raito-kun." Said L, ignoring his teasing. "Do you speak English fluently, or will you be needing me to translate?"
Light became serious as well, he shook his head. "I studied English, I can speak it and understand it fine. You don't need to worry."
"Wonderful. It looks we're only an hour away from the shop on foot, and I did research and found out that the owner will let us stay in a room if we're willing to pay for it."
Light and L walked for a few minutes in silence, both of them deep in thought, but the two of them saw something quite odd while walking. A man in a business suit staring anxiously at his watch then glancing at Light with a sort of perverted look of anxiousness on his face; it was terrifying really. He watched Light then ran up to him, the stench of weed and alcohol clung to his skin. Diving towards Light he immediately wrapped his arms and legs around Light's leg like a child. Immediately, Light recognized that the male had red eyes, and from his mangy hair and appearance and the scent of drugs he figured out just who the male was.
Damn you Mikami! Light thought furiously as the crazed older man nuzzled his leg. Can't you see L is here? Why don't you just throw my down and dry hump me while you're at it!?
"Light-sama, I followed you here just like you told me to." Cooed the older man, L glanced at the two from the corner of his eye, he stopped and watched them though never turned to face the two.
"Light-kun." L said slowly, chewing on his thumb thoughtfully. "I thought that you were in love with Misa-chan. Who is this?"
"I have no idea." Light said with a shrug "Just some drunk, he probably noticed my name on the suitcase."
"Kira will have his revenge!" Mikami shrieked at the top of his lungs, thrusting his index finger in the direction of a male who was stealing a purse from a young woman. "There is a Kira here now too! All thanks to Li-!"
Light aimed a sharp kick at Mikami's ribs and glared furiously at him, mouthing the word 'leave'. Mikami finally got the message and crawled away, taking a bottle of booze with dirty and trembling fingers and guzzling it down, sputtering the alcohol everywhere and spitting some into his dark hair.
"Let's go." L said, blinking. "This place has really gone downhill, it seems that the Kira followers are even more mentally insane than the ones in Japan. Maybe Kira is becoming more popular than we thought. I just hope it's a phase that passes soon."
Before they knew it, they were in front of the Nabootique, ready to find a room to stay in and with hopes of getting rid of this British Kira that had suddenly appeared.
