Day 15, Monday.
Dear fucking diary,
Today Leader-sama told us we're going on a vacation because we've made about 10,000 ryo more than we normally do. I have no bloody clue how that worked out because we never do anything around here. Maybe having Zetsu gone for the last two weeks saved us some money. He's taking us to some place called Puerto Vallarta. It's in Mexico or something. I don't fucking know how to speak Spanish! But I guess I can live seeing as we're not going to have any work for the next week. Kaku-jii obviously didn't like this idea too much.
He came downstairs as soon as he heard the words "more money" and "spend money" together in a sentence. The fucking cheap bastard kept complaining how none of us work enough and then he continued to go on about something after talking about something, then finishing up with something about something. I prolly could have paid better attention, I just didn't wanna. I need to get packing, we're leaving on Wednesday.
Day 16, Tuesday.
Dear fucking diary,
According to Leader-sama, we need to go out to a mall once we get there. None of us have, what did he call them again…? Shorts, that's it! In the village of Amegakure what do you need shorts for?
I packed up a cloak, my remaining 3 pairs of underwear, hair wax, a smaller version of my scythe (cuz apparently they don't like having 'big dangerous weapons' on planes, the pussies), bathroom stuff, sunglasses and sunscreen. I have no clue where the sunscreen or the sunglasses came from, most likely from the creepy Venus fly trap thing that seems to still be stalking me.
I couldn't find my necklace though; I ended up checking under the bed and found some things I hadn't seen in a hella long time. First off, it looked like a tornado ripped trough there. The rest of my room is just fine, but under the bed and my closet look like something's living down there. Under my bed I found an old box of condoms, I think they were from my 19th birthday. Deidara gave me and told me they were ribbed for extra traction in the mud. By the end of the night Kaku-jii ended up having to sew back on one of Deidara's arms. I also found a letter from Orochimaru when he was still in Akatsuki I guess. I'll tape it down.
Dearest Itachi,
These past few months were quite amazing if I do say so myself. You're much more experienced than Sasori or Kakuzu-san. I'm forever leaving the Akatsuki today, but don't you worry, I'll be back one day. And yes, if you'd like I can bring along Manda, I know how well you two get together.
Forever yours,
Orochimaru
Well that was gross. If I ever have to read something like that again I'm gunna puke. I have no clue how that got in my room anyways. I also found my old cell phone, the one that looked like a banana. I loved that thing. I eventually ended up finding my necklace on my nightstand. It for sure wasn't there before because I picked the sunscreen and sunglasses up off the table. Fucking Zetsu…
Day 17, Wednesday.
Dear fucking diary,
I'm on the plane right now. We're all sitting relatively close to each other. Leader-sama's sitting at the window seat next to his Bitch, Deidara is sitting closest to Konan in the middle row, I'm next to him, and Pinocchio is sitting next to me, Kaku-jii and Tobi are sitting in the next row of seats next to us, and Kisame and Itachi are sitting together in front of us.
Kisame's been freaking out ever since we even got to the Airport. He thinks the plane is going to crash and we're all going to die. It's alright for him though because if we crash it'll be in water.
Hours and hours and hours of Shark-boy screaming-and-crying-every-time-we-got even-the-slightest-bit-of-turbulence later, we landed in Puerto Vallarta. It's pretty nice here, palm trees, hot chicks, it's warm. Leader-sama had already booked a hotel and everything so we all crammed into the Airport shuttle bus thing and went to the Hola. Kisame decided to go swimming right away while the rest of us ate. Seeing as none of us had swimsuits, Kisame went in his birthday suit. All of a sudden I didn't feel so hungry anymore. I decided to go to the mall that was a few blocks away to buy some board shorts for myself.
This place is so fucked up! In Japan we don't have psychopathic Mexican ladies screaming on their cell phones or crazy guys driving golf carts around in the mall. Is Japan the only sane place in the world?
I ended up getting a pair of shorts that were black with red clouds on them and I headed back to the Hola. I'm going to sleep now, it's pretty late. Fuck whatever Leader-sama said, I'm sleeping on the beach tonight.
Day 18, Thursday.
Dear fucking diary,
Seeing as Konan and Leader-sama are together in a room, Pinocchio and Deidara and together and Weasel and Shark-boy are together, Leader-sama gave Tobi the option to choose who he wants to bunk with. He's just being plain evil. Tobi chose Kaku-jii! He said something about him and Kaku-jii getting to know each other better. I couldn't tell what he was saying because I was jumping up and down and squealing like a little girl. It's a good thing only the idiot pumpkin thing and Kaku-jii saw me, or else I'd have to sacrifice my own ass for looking like such an idiot.
The rest of the day was uneventful; we all just lazed around like fat-asses on the beach.
Day 19, Friday.
Dear fucking diary,
Oh the joys of sunscreen! While I was lathered up in the SPF 75 shit yesterday, everyone else thought they were invincible or something to the suns rays. The only people not to get burned were Pinocchio, Kaku-jii and Leader-sama. Kisame now looks like a lobster rather than a shark, and Itachi's skin now matches his eyes. Fuck I love Mexico.
Day 20, Saturday.
Dear fucking diary,
Ever wondered what it'd be like if your cord attaching you and your parachute to the boat below you somehow snapped? Well, it results in you crashing into a nearby building breaking your wrist. Fun shit. It pretty much means that I can get my hand wet for the duration of this damned trip. Thank god it's over tomorrow. I guess I should get re-packing.
Day 21, Sunday.
Dear fucking diary,
We just got back to the Base. Some thing definitely seemed out of place. The plane ride home was quiet, the walk home was quiet, holy fuck we forgot Tobi in Mexico! I guess I should go tell Leader-sama…
Leader-sama then later in formed me that instead of putting Tobi on the plane with the rest of us, he stuffed him into a suitcase to safe us money on boarding passes. The guy may look like he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's got a brain somewhere between all those piercings.
Hehe… Sorry I didn't update in like FOREVER. My computer literally, exploded. Something to do with a video card… or a… I forgot.
Ja ne.
