Author's note: Hello again. It seems like I always update this story once a month. Well at least you get consistency from me : This is a really long chapter this time. Ten pages long in Microsoft Word. And it's still only one third to one half of the flashback. The next part will come out earlier since I have it planned out and I want it released before Christmas. The first part has no perspective, the second one is Private's, the third one Julien's, and the final one Marlene's. I never really explained the way I did them, so I'll take the time to do it now. It's still written in 3rd person, but the writing style is influenced by one of the characters. Julien's perspective will refer to Mort as annoying if he even bother's to acknowledge his presence. Marlene on the other hand will refer to Mort as cute. I hope nobody thought that I hated Mort in the last chapter. I thought it would be fun to kind of let the character's personality slip into the writing so you can better grasp what they're feeling without me having to directly state it or going into 1st person. Now let's get back to the story...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, but maybe Santa will give them to me for Christmas :D
Chapter 4: Intel Report 1: The Secret Santa Fiasco
As he made his way back to the penguin habitat, the cold winter air clung to his feathers causing him to unwillingly quicken his pace. For being an Antarctic animal, Skipper didn't like the cold. He surveyed the small distance left between him and his destination. The light from the lamp posts and Christmas lights casted a glow onto the freshly fallen snow, making it look like the rainbow snow cones they always got in summer. The lamp posts were also decorated with wreathes and there was tinsel on some of the exhibit fences. Several of the animals had also decorated their habitats, making sure not to go overboard and attract the attention of the humans.
Skipper had taken the long way around Marlene's habitat. The shortest distance between HQ and the zoo storage room would lead him between the otter and lemur exhibits. He did not want to be anywhere near King Julien at the moment, his mind still a mess desperately trying to make sense of what had happened. Turning the corner and laying low, he slowly made his way to the edge of the otter habitat fence and peaked his head out into the central square. In front of him was his target, but just a few meters beyond was King Julien's throne. It was elevated and had an aerial view of the entire zoo. Upon seeing it empty, Skipper let out a sigh of relief. Still ever vigilant about a surprise appearance by the ring-tail, he double checked his surroundings one final time before dashing to safety and warmth.
It's the most perfect time of year. A holiday that celebrates peace and love on Earth. Everyone is filled with joy and happiness. If only it could last all year. And why not? Christmas cheer would make the whole world a better place. I can't wait for Skipper to come back so we can start finalizing our Christmas plans. Private was practically humming with glee as he finished knitting himself a new Christmas stocking. Rico had accidentally set fire to the last one. It was okay though, Private had forgiven him, and this new stocking was even nicer than the last one.
Everyone was in the Christmas spirit. Only 10 days were left before the big day. They had already decorated the HQ with lights, stringed popcorn and a new experimental type of Christmas tree Kowalski had invented. It kept catching on fire though. I guess it was actually Kowalski's fault that Private's stocking got burned. Rico had only left the stocking on the ground by the tree. Speaking of which...
"Not again! Rico, fetch some water, quick!" Kowalski yelled as his tree caught fire for the third time. Rico calmly waddled up to the tree and regurgitated several bucketfuls of water onto it. It fizzled out and gave off small streams of smoke. Rico turned and grinned at Kowalski saying, "Prepared."
Kowalski frowned at Rico's statement and went to check on the tree. "I just don't understand it. There's no reason for it to be bursting in to flames like that."
By this time Private had finished his knitting and had waddled over to join in on the conversation. "Perhaps we should just get a normal tree like always?"
"Nonsense, my invention is vastly superior to any normal tree you could find. Its needles don't fall off, it doesn't decay, it's eco-friendly, and it's flame retardant." At the mention of the word "flame", the top of the tree caught fire. Rico quickly doused it.
"...See, no fire damage at all," Kowalski replied, although it was evident his ego was bruised. Just then, the sound of the hatch being opened could be heard. All three looked up to see their leader climbing down the steps. Private was the first to speak.
"Hello Skippah, how did the meeting with Julien go?" Skipper didn't turn around. It was strange that he didn't say anything. He would have greeted them by now.
"Skippah?"
"It went...well. I got him to agree to sign it..." The way Skipper said it sounded like he had just been handed a humiliating defeat. Wasn't it a good thing that Skipper got Julien to sign the treaty?
"Is something the matter, Skippah?" Private asked worriedly. Slowly, Skipper turned from the wall and looked at his teammates. He had a neutral expression on his face, and it was hard to figure out what he was thinking.
"Nothing major, I just had to adjust the deal a bit to get Julien to sign it."
"Compromise is a major part of negotiations. I trust you got the better end of the bargain," Kowalski said. "So what did you two agree to in the end?"
Skipper seemed to have glanced nervously around the room and hesitated a moment before answering, but that couldn't be right. I'm probably just imagining things. This is Skipper, what does he have to be nervous about? I mean, besides needles...
"Ring-tail agreed to everything. In exchange he's going to cook up something for me to do to for him."
"Was that really a wise decision? What if he makes you give him a sponge bath?" Kowalski shuddered at the thought.
"No, I made it clear that it had to be something non-gross and that it would only be temporary. Our protection services will be more than enough payment for him to adhere to a party schedule." Giving a small sigh, Skipper took out the document he and Julien had yet to sign and handed it to Rico. "Here Rico, make sure to keep it safe until we can sign it and notarize it."
"Yes sir!" Rico said as he swallowed it in an instant. Skipper walked over to the table and took a seat, the others going over to join him. "Do we have anymore fish eggnog1 left? Today was pretty hectic and I need something to unwind with."
"There should be some left in the fridge," Private said as he got up and went over to it. He pulled open the door and took a look inside, finding the carton near the front. Taking it out and closing the fridge door, he grabbed a cup and made his way toward Skipper. He set the cup down in front of him and started pouring what remained in the carton, a smile on his beak.
"Here you go Skippah, I'll get started on another batch if you want some more."
"No, we can make more tomorrow. We need to go over our Christmas agenda tonight," replied Skipper after taking a large gulp of his drink. He set his cup down and looked across the table to where Kowalski was sitting. "Kowalski, schedule."
"Well we are scheduled to go Christmas shopping tomorrow, but Marlene has informed me that her secret meeting in 3 days involves presents and that we should postpone it until then."
"Hm... I dunno, I trust Marlene but the longer we wait, the more "crazy Christmas rush shoppers" there'll be. It's going to make staying outta sight more difficult." Skipper was deep in thought about what to do.
"Maybe we should wait. I'm sure whatever Marlene's got planned will bring a smile to the whole zoo." Private happily looked at Skipper and Skipper felt himself give a small smile.
"Okay, we'll postpone the Christmas shopping, but then what are we going to do tomorrow?" Happy to answer Skipper's question, Rico spit up a chainsaw and pointed to the tree.
"New tree."
"There's nothing wrong with the tree just because it has a.... slight tendency to catch on fire," replied Kowalski indignantly. Just then the entire tree suddenly burst into flames for a second before burning itself out. "Okay, maybe we do need a new tree..." All the pine needles then fell to the ground and the tree bark split into a thousand different pieces, leaving nothing but spontaneous self-lighting firewood.
"Okay then, it's decided. We go get a new tree first thing in the morning. Continue reading the schedule, Kowalski."
Everyone was gathered at the zoovenir shop waiting to find out why the otter had asked them to be there. It was boring really. None of the other animals ever came when Julien scheduled meetings anymore. Why was the otter so special? He only came because he heard that it had something to do about presents. Maybe she's going to convince the others to celebrate the one true holiday that is Julianuary instead of this "Chrisymass" nonsense. Yes, I knew my charms would win her over. I am irresistible after all.
Feeling content with his logic, he turned to see Skipper and his followers enter the room. He started feeling his good mood slip away. Oh, right. I'm irresistible except to him. Skipper had avoided King Julien ever since they had their kiss. Julien had walked over the following morning to grace them with his presence, but they weren't there. They had gone to get a new Christmas tree, but when they came back, they had locked all the doors and hatches, so Julien couldn't help them decorate it right. The next day wasn't any better. He tried looking for the penguin everywhere but he couldn't find him. It was as if Skipper had disappeared. He had asked his teammates where he was, but they all gave different answers. It was evident even to Julien that Skipper was avoiding him. He didn't even bother looking yesterday.
"Your Majesty?" asked a voice, snapping him out of his thoughts. King Julien turned to the aye-aye and asked, "Yes Maurice?"
"Are you okay? You seem a little... I dunno, out of it."
"I'm fine. I grow impatient waiting for this meeting to start. I am having other things to be doing." Slowly his gaze drifted back to Skipper, who was busy talking to Marlene. Hmph, why is he talking to her rather than me? I'm much more entertaining that she'll ever be. At that moment, Skipper turned his head in King Julien's direction and gave him a glare that was none too pleasant. Definitely not one you would give a king. Marlene, who was still in conversation, stopped for a moment to see what had gotten Skipper so upset. Her eyes caught sight of King Julien with a questioning look on his face that clearly said "what did I do?". She looked back and forth between Skipper and the king, her own face equally questioning. She got Skipper to turn away and started talking to him again. There was too much noise to be able to hear everything they were talking about, but King Julien could tell it involved him.
Why is Skipper so angry at me? He keeps telling me I'm too self-centered and the one time, or twice, I grace him with a royal kiss, he freaks out! I was hoping he would be different... not like the others...
"King Julien, you look sad. I will cheer you up!" said the ever annoying Mort as he clung to Julien's right leg.
"Maurice," King Julien commanded and the aye-aye went over and gently extracted the annoyance from the royal leg. Just then, a voice was heard.
"Excuse me, if I could get everyone's attention, I'd like to start the meeting."
The Zoovenir shop was full to the brim with zoo animals. Everyone was there, except for the penguins and Pinky the flamingo. Marlene patiently waited for them to arrive and was happy to spend the time talking with everyone.
This is so great! I can't wait to tell everyone my idea. They'll love it!Marlene turned around and spotted Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private walk into the room. Oh, they're here! I'd better go say hi. She quickly made her way over to them and gave them a smile.
"Hey guys, glad you could make it. I was starting to worry Skipper didn't think my meeting was important enough to attend."
"Nonsense Marlene, we just had some last minute training to do."
"Sorry for being late though," said Private. He was always very polite.
"That's okay, we still have to wait for Pinky though. When he gets here we can start the meeting." Marlene looked at the clock on the wall. "But if he isn't here in 5 minutes we'll have to start without him."
"Just what is this meeting about exactly?" asked Skipper. He was always one to ask questions, but never one to give many answers. Marlene decided to tease him about it.
"I'm afraid that information is classified for a few more minutes Skipper. You understand." The look she got was priceless. He was clearly unsatisfied with her response. Marlene had to use all her strength to keep from laughing.
"What's so funny?" asked Skipper. Apparently she didn't have enough strength to keep from giggling.
"Oh nothing. Just be patient Skipper. I'm sure you're going to love my idea!"
"That remains to be seen..." Skipper didn't finish his sentence as he had turned his head started glaring.
"Hey, you've got to give me a little more credit than that. Skipper?" At first Marlene had though he was just glaring off into the distance because of what she said, but when she turned her head, she saw that he was actually glaring at Julien. Why is Skipper looking at Julien like that? Did they get into another argument with each other? The look on Julien's face didn't match Skipper's. If anything, it looked confused as to why Skipper was even angry at him in the first place. After glancing back and forth between the two of them, Marlene decided enough was enough.
Shifting Skipper's gaze away from Julien and back to her, she asked in a low voice, "What was that all about?"
"It's nothing. Just a spat between me and the ring-tail."
"He didn't look like he was angry at you. In fact, he even looked a little guilty."
"Hah, as if His Majesty could feel guilt. That lemur is nothing but trouble with 10 foot tall megaphones attached." Skipper was very upset. Julien had only managed to get Skipper this mad twice before. Whatever Julien did this time, it must have been bad.
"So what did he do?" asked Marlene, even though she partly knew Skipper wouldn't tell her. But you never know, maybe this time Skipper would trust her enough to tell her the whole story.
"Sorry Marlene, it's on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know." Or maybe not. Marlene let out a sigh. Keeping things bottled up isn't healthy. Skipper is far too secretive for his own good.
"Well work something out, don't worry your pretty little head over it so much," Skipper said with a smirk.
"Well, okay, if you're sure..."
"Um, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Pinky's here now," alerted Private, pointing to the late arrival standing by the door. Marlene felt anticipation rush through her veins as the moment to announce her idea had finally come.
"Yes, now we can finally start!" Marlene climbed up onto the counter and in the loudest voice she could muster, shouted, " Excuse me, if I could get everyone's attention, I'd like to start the meeting!" Half the room went silent but the other half kept on talking. "Um, hello? Can I get some quiet please?" Still they continued talking.
"Rico, air horn!" Rico quickly threw up an air horn and passed it to Skipper. A loud sound filled the room stopping all conversation and causing some animals to put their hands over their ears.
"Now that I've got everyone's attention, the lady has something to say."
"Thank you Skipper. Now I know you're all wondering why I asked you to come here today." Marlene looked around the room for any signs of wonderment. Finding none, she continued. "Well, with Christmas coming up, I had this great idea that we could all do-"
"Celebrate Julianuary instead and give me tons of presents?" Marlene turned to look at the source of the interruption with an annoyed expression.
"No Julien, we're not celebrating another one of your holidays. King Julien Day was enough."
"What are you saying? You can never have enough holidays celebrating my greatness."
"Can it ring-tail or you won't get to celebrate your next birthday," warned Skipper. Julien got strangely quiet after that.
"Anyway, I thought that since some animals sometimes get left out of getting presents on Christmas, we could do a Secret Santa drawing!" Marlene waited, her eyes lit up with Christmas cheer, expecting to hear the animals praise her idea. Nothing came. The stared at her like she had just explained nuclear physics. "What, don't you guys like it?"
"Not to burst your bubble Marlene, but wouldn't drawing a Secret Santa defeat the purpose of him being secret?" asked Kowalski as he took notes.
"No, not a drawing like a picture, I meant a drawing like a raffle," Marlene explained. A chorus of "Oh" could be heard from everyone.
"What's a Secret Santa then?" asked Private.
"What's a Santa?" asked Julien. Everyone in the room turned to look at him. "What? Did I speak something weird?"
"You don't know who Santa is?" asked Skipper with disbelief.
"Of course not, we lemurs celebrate Julianuray, the holiday that gives testament to my heavenly birth-"
"Someone explain to Ring-tail who Santa is before he goes New Testament on us." Julien didn't appreciate being interrupted, but decided not to continue his monologue.
"Oh, oh, oh, me! I can do it!" volunteered Private with his flipper high in the air. "Santa is a jolly old man dressed in red who flies around the world in his sleigh delivering gifts to all the good little children of the world."
"Phil says Santa manages to deliver all the presents in a single night despite the fact he's a fat man with a belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly," said Mason, one of the two zoo chimpanzees translating for the other who was mute.
"The sheer math of it all still alludes me, but if I wasn't sure Santa was real, I would say he didn't exist," Kowalski said, scribbling down several complicated math formulas.
"He lives in the North Pole were his elves make toys in his workshop," said Ted the polar bear. "I have an uncle who actually visited him once."
"Santa used to be based in the South Pole with us penguins until those no good North Poler reindeer lured him away with their cheap labor and free Canadian healthcare." Skipper said in a venomous tone. He was seething at the thought of the injustice the penguins had faced centuries ago.
"I dunno Skippah, I've heard that some of Santa's reindeer are really beautiful..." Private started daydreaming about flying through the night skies alongside a lovely female reindeer. They were laughing and sharing a smile as they navigated Santa's sleigh to their next destination. They slowly moved closer together to share a kiss when Skipper waddled over to him in a flash and smacked him hard, ending his fantasy.
"Get a hold of yourself man! You're a penguin! Penguins do NOT associate with those North Polers!"
"Sorry Skipper, it won't happen again," said Private in small and dejected voice.
"I must say this "Santa" intrigues me. All Julianuary has is the Red Knight Goblin, who pummels us with rocks, and taunts us with his horrible laugh!"
"Okay, now that we all know who Santa is, let's get back on topic. A Secret Santa is someone who gives a present to someone else secretly. You put names written on a folded piece of paper into a container and then randomly pick one. Whoever you get, you have to get a present for. You write the person's name on the present, but not your own, and then you put it in a center pile with everyone else's present. We hand out the gifts, and everyone who participated gets one, but you never know who gave it to you, and the person you got the gift for never knows you got it for them either."
After her explanation, Marlene finally got the reaction she was looking for. The zoo animals seemed to think it was a great idea. There was a lot of exited chatter going on. "Now, we're going to have to choose a date to do the gift exchange on, and we'll have to go over what qualifies as a gift."
"Uh, I have a question," replied Julien. "Can I chose myself? I know I've been wanting this really comfy seat cushion for my kingly throne and I think I am deserving it because, let's face it, I'm the king and I-"
"No you can't chose yourself, you have to pick at random like everybody else!" yelled Skipper at Julien.
"Technically Skipper, he does have a small chance of randomly picking himself," stated Kowalski as he did the math.
"Is that allowed?" Skipper asked Marlene.
"Well, technically, yes. But there's plenty of us here to make sure that possibility doesn't happen." Marlene then proceeded to take out a coconut bowl with slips of paper in it. "Now, I've already drawn everyone's picture onto theses little slips of paper. Everyone come up and take a slip of paper one at a time. Make sure no one sees who you got."
"Oh, me! I am to be going first! The king always goes first!" Julien jumped onto the counter and jammed his paw into the bowl. "I'm sure the Sky Spirits will make it so I am getting myself." Marlene just stared on in bewildered amusement.
"Just make sure you don't look at the bowl while you're choosing," she reminded him and used a paw to turn his head sideways. After about 5 seconds of Julien rustling all the papers in his blind search to find his picture, the lemur finally settled on one. He carefully took it out of the bowl and brought it close to his face before opening it. His excited face quickly fell once he had opened the paper and saw who he got. He stood there for a moment or two before he quickly tossed the paper aside and folded his arms in a huff.
"I want another try."
"You only get to try once," Marlene informed Julien.
"Yes, but I am the king so I get to pick as many as I want." By this time Skipper had jumped onto the counter as well and approached Julien.
"Listen ring-tail, either you get a present for whatever sorry animal you happened to pick," Skipper bent over and picked up the paper before he slapped it onto Julien's chest. "Or we exclude you from this activity, comprende2?"
"How dare you tell the royal king what to do?! This is an outrageousness!"
"The only outrageousness here is your attitude!" Everyone one in the room just looked on as the argument between Skipper and Julien escalated.
"ME?! You're the one who's been ignoring me like a fossa with rabies ever since we k-" Skipper tackled Julien onto the countertop so fast that if you had blinked you would have missed it. Marlene gasped and dropped the coconut bowl she was carrying. Slips of paper scattered across the countertop. Skipper had Julien pinned beneath him, a death glare in his eyes. He leaned down and whispered something to him, after which Julien nodded his head in agreement, fear evident in his eyes. Skipper got up and took a look around. Marlene was looking at him with worry and he made his way over to her. He reached down and picked up the discarded papers and bowl and handed them back to her.
"Sorry for the interruption Marlene, it won't happen again." He had his usual smug smile on his face, but something was off about it. It seemed forced. There was also an awkward silence in the air as Julien made his way over to his companions, silently said something to them, and then walked quietly out the door. This is terrible. I wanted this to be a fun activity, not something that caused a fight. I have to do something to help fix this.
"I'll go next Marlene," Skipper said as he reached into the bowl.
"Huh? Oh, right." Marlene could tell Skipper was trying to lighten the mood and keep the rest of the evening from going down in flames. He quickly selected one and took a look at it before he instructed Kowalski to go next. Then one by one the rest of the animals came up and took one.
"Oh, I hope I get King Julian!" shouted Mort with excitement when it was his turn. His big bright adorable eyes teaming with glee at the prospect of getting a gift for his idle. Marlene lowered the bowl so he could reach in and pick a paper with ease.
"Aww, I got-" Mort began but Marlene stopped him.
"Shhh! It's a secret, remember?"
"Oh yeah, sorry." Next up was Maurice, giving Marlene a chance to talk to him.
"Is Julien going to be okay?"
"I dunno, he looked really depressed. He just old us to pick a paper and come straight back to our habitat." He took out a paper and looked at it before he headed out the door with Mort. Animals kept picking papers until finally only Burt the elephant was left. But there was only one paper left for him to choose! That can't be right, I haven't picked someone yet...
"Hold on, there's a paper missing." Marlene started searching the countertop for the piece of paper that Skipper had missed picking up. It wasn't there. "I can't seem to find it."
"Boys, search party, double time!" Skipper commanded and the penguins began searching the area for the missing paper.
"According to my calculations, due to the height of the drop and the density of both the countertop and the coconut, and accounting for the aerodynamic properties of folded paper, it's most likely location is behind the counter." Following Kowalski's math, Private went and checked.
"Here it is, just like Kowalski said." Private picked the paper up and then handed it to Marlene. "Here you go."
"Excellent work Kowalski," complimented Skipper. Marlene put the paper into the bowl and mixed them up before heading toward the door where Burt was. Being an elephant meant that he couldn't go into most buildings.
"Okay Burt, it's your turn now."
"Oh boy, oh boy, I hope whoever got me gives me peanuts." He used his long trunk to pick up a paper and with expert skill, also used his trunk to open it.
"So now I get to see who I'll be giving a present to and then we can talk about some additional rules. I'll go tell the lemurs about them later." She picked up and opened the last piece of paper to reveal who she would be a Secret Santa to. On it was a picture of none other than Julien. Well, this'll be interesting...
1. I found it odd that they would drink eggnog since it's made with eggs and penguins lay eggs, but since they drank it in the 2005 Christmas special, I figured it was okay. If they made their own eggnog, they could just as easily add fish to it.
2. Comprende is Spanish for understand.
Skipper was so mean in this chapter D: He must have some emotional issues to work out. Luckily, Marlene is going to do just that! Next chapter involves the penguins Christmas shopping, Marlene acting as a peer mediator, and of course the Secret Santa gift exchange. Maybe even a guest appearance by Roger the alligator and Max the (moon)cat.
Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's officially the Christmas season. And Christmas is a time of giving, so be sure to give me a review :)
