Military Hijinks Chapter 4: Storms and Septicaemia

Tape journal of Eric Cartman

Day 1: My leg is still sore, but at least I'm alive. We've got enough food to last a week, if we take care what we eat. I'd never have thought that i'd be taking a diet anytime soon. I'm not really fat, I just have big bones.

Day 2: God, this is horrible, waiting, praying for a rescue. Pip's not well, he threw up outside the tent earlier. He's also got a temperature.

Day 3 (11 AM): Pip is really sick, his leg is cut, and it's been infected. God, we need rescuing soon, he isn't going to make it.

At roughly 4PM that afternoon, Cartman could hear voices.

"HELP!" he yelled, "We're over here!"

"Cadet Cartman?" the voice yelled back

"Yes, I'm Cadet Eric Cartman! I'm with cadet Pirrups, he's inside the tent." Cartman called, "We're going to make it!" he thought. A few rescue workers arrived, and entered the tent to check on Pip.

"We're going to call in a copter, we'll be back to the base in no time." the rescue worker said, "We're going to give you something to help you sleep, and fasten you onto this streacher."

In no time, Cartman was asleep, when he woke up, he saw Stan, Kyle and Kenny standing next to him.

"Hey guys." Cartman said with a smile, "I'm glad to see you, i was so damn worried that me and Pip would die out there."

"How's your leg Cartman?" Stan asked

"It'll be just fine." Cartman said, "How's Pip?"

Kyle and Kenny exchanged dark looks, "Pip's in intensive care."

Cartman sat up so suddenly, Kyle nearly fell over in shock, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's suffering from Septicaemia, blood poisoning." Stan replied, then added, "Are you okay Cartman?" as Cartman suddenly started crying.

"He saved my life guys." Cartman sobbed, "If he dies....god, it was all my fault, I fell and dragged him down with me. All my fault!"

"Cartman, it's not your fault." Kenny said, "Don't blame yourself, besides, he's in the best possible place now."

"No Kenny, it was my fault. I started that fight, i got us all stuck here, then i go and damn near kill Pip." Cartman sobbed. Stan, Kyle and Kenny were worried, they knew Cartman was normally cruel and spiteful, seeing him sobbing about a guy he normally couldn't give a damn about was disturbing.

A docter entered, "I've got good news for you gentlemen, your friend Phillip woke up about 5 minutes ago. He said, "Get me a cup of tea will you? I'm bloody parched."

Upon hearing the news, Cartman started to laugh, "That son of a bitch had me really worried their. So, Pip's going to be okay?"

"Yes Mr. Cartman, your friend is going to be okay." the doctor replied, "Now, how is your leg?"

"It's fine." Cartman said, "How long will we be in for?"

"A week. Sgt. Grey is bringing in some of your friends tomorrow. He's waiting now for the uninjured members of Bravo team, he's going to take you back to the army base." the doctor replied

"See you guys tomorrow." Cartman said

On the return to the base, Kyle raised a question, "Was Cartman hit on the head?"

"We don't know what he went through." Sgt. Grey said, "Isolation can be hard on you."

"They were gone three days." Kenny said

"Three days, little food and water, fear of death." Sgt. Grey replied, "How would you bare up?"

Life slowly returned to normal for most, with the exception that Phillip Pirrup and Eric Cartman had become good friends. On the last day of the ROTC programe, Eric and Phillip were suprised to be awarded medals for bravery and survival.