Hey everyone, thanks a lot for the kind reviews. This chapter shows Chuck's reaction to Blair's condition. I hope you're not disappointed by it. If you have any suggestions, feel free to tell me, because Chuck will deal with this knowledge for a while now.
Enjoy,
xoxo, Mia
„Chuck? Hey man, you're all right?"
The cup of coffee hit the floor with a bang.
Nate eyed his best friend closely, a worried frown appearing on his face. Chuck – if that was possible had turned even paler than before. Nate became extremely terrified of him.
Of course he had experienced drunken Chuck, hang-overed Chuck, passed out Chuck, but in all of the years of their friendship, he had never seen Chuck being so miserable and depressed.
When Chuck had opened the door, Nate had had to suppress the urge to gasp.
He had expected to see Chuck all messed up but what he had witnessed had topped his worst nightmare.
The room smelled so bad, that Nate nearly had thrown up. There were empty pill and scotch bottles all over the room, but what had shocked Nate the most, was his best friends appearance.
Chuck looked crushed. His hair now dripping wet from the shower had been a mess.
Nate had never seen Chuck like this than before. Even in his darkest hours Chuck was all tied up and composed.
Now he didn't seem to care anymore. In Nate's opinion Chuck could easily be held as a homeless guy as it was.
He only wore a pair of boxers and a shirt that might have been white in a former life. Now that it was soaking wet from the shower, Nate could tell that Chuck had lost quite a huge amount of weight given for such a short time. Nate was able to see and count Chuck's rips through his shirt.
Chuck's eyes had sunken deep down in his face a shadow clouding them, absorbing every kind of spark.
His face skin had an unhealthy greyish colour and for Nate it was obvious that the only nutrition Chuck had chosen for himself consisted in alcohol and what seemed to be pain killers.
No wonder Chuck was out of it, given the facts that his father had just died and he had to be highly intoxicated.
But now Chuck didn't seem to be only out of it, he nearly appeared to be catatonic. His gaze was unfocused and it looked like he wasn't anymore aware of his best friend's presence as he was starring right through him.
"Chuck?" Nate tried again, but still no answer. This was the moment Nate really started to get scared.
***********
"Blair, bulimia, fled, hospital, relapse."
Chuck felt like he had been punched in the stomach, all air being sucked out of his lungs.
He felt his stomach clenching, nearly causing him to retch.
The words "Blair, bulimia and relapse" just shouldn't be named in the same sentence.
This was more than wrong.
OF course he had been aware that she seemed to struggle with some kind of eating disorder at the age of fourteen but after that she seemed to be fine.
Obviously her parents or more likely her mother – since her father had been busy screwing around with his male model somewhere in Europe, France, yes, it had been France – had taken care of that "little problem".
Chuck doubted that her surroundings which include her so called friends and her boy friend at that time, had even noticed that Blair had been struggling.
He was sure that only Serena had known about it – except from her parents of course – and that Nate hadn't had a clue.
But Chuck had sensed something had been wrong with her. Whenever Blair had thought that nobody was watching, she had stuffed food into her mouth, quickly swallowing it and then shortly after she had excused herself and had gone to the bathroom.
Until now Chuck couldn't understand that nobody had recognized her (former) condition.
He had watched her and he had immediately been able to tell that something was up with her.
Since he hadn't known how to deal with his knowledge and her and since he hadn't dared to overstep any boundaries in their friendship or companionship or whatever they had had or had shared during the time she had been Nate's girl friend, he had hinted to Serena one day that Blair seemed to be sick.
It had been this day Serena had found out and Blair's secret had been revealed to her parents.
It was never mentioned again but it had him who had made sure that someone would acknowledge and take care of it.
Of course, back than he hadn't actually known that bulimia was a life threatening disease.
He had thought of it as a "fashion illness" that was reserved for models and movie stars.
But one year later he had learned that it was indeed not only a "fashion disease" but something a person could die of.
Bart had had a girlfriend at this time who was half his age (as most of the women he had been dating over the years after his beloved wife had passed away under the well known dramatic circumstances) and who was modelling for Versace and Prada.
Her name had been Cynthia and Bart had been crazy about her – Chuck also had been sexually aroused by her and one day Bart had been running late from office, she had given him one of the best blow jobs he had ever experienced so far, but that was a whole different story.
Fact was that every time she had had dinner with the Basses she had excused herself afterwards and had disappeared into the bathroom of their penthouse.
Three weeks later, after their last dinner together, had returned earlier than usual from his office at Bass' Industries, his face wearing a stony expression.
Chuck hadn't dared to ask his father what was wrong with him, but he had heard their maids talking about Cynthia who had died from a heart attack caused by her bulimia at the age of 22.
The memory of this incident was the reason that realization now hit him with full force.
It was back: Blair's bulimia was back.
She had had a relapse and had even been to the hospital – which meant it already had gotten out of control.
Once again Chuck felt a huge wave of nausea hitting him like a rock and quickly washing over him.
He could envision her, her body still and cold, her face pale, dead because of the consequences of her bulimia, dead like Bart, his father whom he had had to identify in the morgue after his car accident.
Lily had protested that he shouldn't do this but stubborn as he was, he had insisted to it. And now the images of his dead father were haunting him at night.
Chuck's breath hitched in his throat and he felt how the whole oxygen left his lungs once again:
She could die, Blair could day.
Something gad triggered this, had triggered the bulimia to come back, had triggered her to hurt herself again and with another hit of realization, Chuck realized that he had caused this.
In his darkest hour, the day of Bart's funeral, Blair had told him how she felt about him, really felt about him. That she loved him, no matter what matter and he had ran away. But she still hadn't given up on him. Although she was in a fragile condition, she had decided to come looking for him.
She had made the way all over to Bangkok, to finally be with him, to show him that she had meant what she had said and what had he done? He had shoved two Asian prostitutes in her face, shattering her once more.
He needed to get back, he needed to save her, he needed her and he was more than afraid now, that she would hurt herself even more after this incident with the two whores.
"When is your flight back home?" Nate nearly jumped, shocked that his best friend was finally back to reality and addressing him.
"I haven't book a flight back, yet as I didn't know how long it would take to convince you to come back with me."
"Call the airport and check when the first flight goes back to New York, no matter how much it costs or which class or airline it is, book it. We need to get back. Blair is back in New York, she was here and I screwed up. Call Serena first, she needs to check on Blair. My P.I. texted me, Blair's back in her penthouse apartment. Hurry, I get dressed."
Nate was overwhelmed. Blair had been in Bangkok. He couldn't believe it.
"Nathaniel!" Chuck interrupted Nate's thoughts with a growl and looking in his best fiend's face, he made sure to not waste another minute as he dialled Serena's number.
***********
Blair was woken by the constant ringing of her cell phone. She sat up to check the caller's ID and nearly fainted. She felt dizzy and her heart beaded rapidly and frantically in an unsteady rhythm.
She managed to grab her cell phone and saw Cyrus number on the screen. She had to answer that. If she wouldn't, her mother would probably call Serena and that had to be prevented at all costs.
"Hi mom."
tbc…
I might not be able to update next week, because of work, but I will as soon as possible with a hopefully longer chapter. The next chapter, Chuck and Blair will see each other once again,so stay tuned ;-).
