So here is the new chapter. Hope you enjoy. Please R§R.

xoxo, Mia

Their shopping trip had been relatively successful – well at least regarding the economic side.

Blair had found a pair of magnificent Christian Louboutins that fitted her Valentino dress quite perfectly.

Serena had bought a stunning crème coloured dress and a pair of matching Manohlo Blanic high heels.

Regarding the personal side of their "adventure", Serena wasn't so sure. Of course Blair had seemed quite enthusiastic and had made a happy face all day but Serna had seen the crack underneath it.

Whenever Blair had thought, her best friend hadn't been watching, her face had fallen had been so sad like her whole world was slowly falling apart.

She had looked so lost and broken that Serena's heart had clenched tightly in her chest and had ached for her best friend.

They had been eating a late lunch at the van der Bass' penthouse with a silent Lily and a quite exciting Eric who had dreaded company and who had been glad that there was finally some life in the rather silent apartment.

Eric was missing Bart but even more he was missing Chuck. For Eric, Chuck was not only his brother and a part of his family, he was also the person to turn to, when there was a problem, Eric couldn't handle himself.

Serena had instructed her brother and her mother – while Blair was out of earshot - not to mention Chuck under any circumstances. And she had decided to grab lunch at her penthouse because she had learned during Blair's first bulimic relapse that the tiny brunette wasn't comfortable with eating in public. Besides it had been easier for Serena to keep an eye on Blair.

During lunch, Serena had received a text message from Nate telling her that he and Chuck would both be attending Penelope's party tonight.

Serena had read this text message with mixed feelings. On one side she was glad – well who was she kidding here: beyond relief Chuck was back safe in New York because secretly – and she would never admit that – she couldn't barely admit it to herself – to anyone, she considered Chuck her brother as well and over the last month she had started to love him like Eric.

She had seen a softer side of him that he showed especially towards Blair and Eric (and towards herself and Nate for that matter). She had quickly learned that Chuck Bass took care of those he considered family and friends.

With Eric, Chuck was incredible. He always talked to him like to an adult and not once had he made any nasty comment about Eric being gay – au contraire he had encouraged Eric to be himself and to just fuck on the opinion of the UES's society. And Serena was grateful for that.

On the other hand of course she could kill that Motherchucker with her bare hands for leaving Blair in such a miserable condition.

Besides Serena scared of how Blair might react, seeing Chuck again.

She then had decided not to tell her best about it. She would deal with that later and maybe just maybe it would turn out the best or at least even better than one could hope for.

*********

So far they had been enjoying themselves – at least Serena had.

Blair had tried to put on a happy face to subside Serena's worries for her down.

Serena had been watching her like a hawk all day and Blair was glad that her best friend had relaxed a bit.

She herself had sipped on a glass of champagne first but then she had decided she needed a little more to relax herself and to feel a little bit more comfortable. Therefore she had downed two full filled glasses of the sparkling beverage and for a while it had done the trick.

Compared to her friends and all of the other teenagers on the UES for that matter, she was a light weight when it came to alcohol.

She had felt a bit more relaxed afterwards and her insides had been quite mellow.

She had made conversation with her minors, had talked to a bunch of college girls, Penelope's brother had brought along and had even flirted with a good looking college boy.

For everyone who was watching her, Blair seemed genuinely happy and content with her life.

On the inside however it was a complete different story.

Although she was hurt like hell, she missed him. She missed Chuck desperately.

She craved for him physically and even more emotionally.

Every fibre of her body yearned for his touch. But even more than her physical desire for him, her whole being missed his company. She missed their witty little banters and the way only he knew how to make her feel.

In his company she felt special and desired but on the other hand – and here her mind was wandering in circles – he probably made every woman he wanted to get into bed with him feel this special.

And with those thoughts came the pain again. A pain, not even a little shopping or a good party with gorgeous boys could ease or take her mind of how he broke her heart into a million tiny pieces.

She felt, the now all over again familiar nausea coming up her throat and therefore she grabbed another glass of champagne in the second of an eye blink.

Blair then walked over to Serena to ask her to get some fresh air with her outside.

They were just on their way outside to the terrace when she felt someone's gaze on her.

She turned around and her heart stopped for a beat.

Chuck.

Blair gasped as the air was rushing out of her lungs for a second.

Chuck was back, he was back in New York and he and Nate were here at Penelope's New Years party.

"B, what is it?" Serena' s gaze followed that of her best friend and she spotted Nate and Chuck as well. From what she could tell and see from that afar, Chuck looked awfully thin and pale but apart from that he looked quite put together.

His hair looked like he had had a fresh haircut.

He wore a black tux with a purple bowtie and Serena was relieved, the old Chuck hadn't completely vanished through all of this drama his life had lately been.

"What is he doing here?" Blair's face was ghostly white and she was trembling.

"Nate brought him back this morning."

"You knew about this? You knew he was back? You knew he would be here tonight? What is this" Seriously S, how could you not tell me, he would be here? How?" Blair's voice grew louder and louder as she was once more loosing control. She no longer cared that she had pretended to be ok the whole day. This was just too much.

"B, I'm so sorry, I thought it was better not to tell you. I didn't mean to upset you. Please…"

"Blair…" Blair whirled around startled. She hadn't seen him coming. His eyes were boring into hers, burning her. His voice was smooth as silk sending shivers down her spine.

It only took her second to compose herself when she remembered two young Asian girls standing in front of his door.

"How dare you talking to me Charles? Don't ever come near me again Bass. I'm done." With that she whirled around disappearing into the night, Serena close on her tracks.

**********

Chuck just stood there lost when his senses kicked back in and he was about to follow Blair as well.

"Give her some time man. Let Serena talk to her and Blair eventually comes around" Nate gently grabbed Chuck's arm. "Come on let's get you a drink."

**********

An hour and two glasses of scotch later, Chuck was still miserable. It hurt him to know that he was the cause of Blair's pain. And she obviously was in pain. Blair only attacked when she was hurt. Chuck knew her better than anyone.

He was just about to go searching for her, when a blonde college girl with big boobs and fake hair and nails came over to him.

"Hey handsome, how about you'll get us a drink and we'll see where the night takes us?" she was a bit tipsy and her words were slurry. Chuck was immediately disgusted by her obvious offer – something that definitely hadn't ever happened before he had slept with Blair Waldorf for the first time.

"Get yourself a drink, I'm not interested." He knew he was quite rude turning her down like that but he didn't have the time and the nerves to be polite right now. He needed to find Blair. He needed to make sure, she was ok.

"Maybe that will change your mind" with that Barbie launched herself into his arms and crushed her silicon lips on his.

She tasted like bubble gum and Chuck had shoved her away with some harsh words "take your damn hands off of me" when he witnessed Blair staring at him with wide eyes tears springing into them.

"Blair, wait, I…" he called out for her but it was too late, she was already gone.

**********

He had been searching for her for half an hour when he finally found someone who had seen her.

Hazel had told him that she had watched Blair heading over to the cake buffet and that had caused Chuck to spin around and running towards the bathroom upstairs. He somehow knew Blair wouldn't be in the bathroom downstairs to do what she was about to do. She still was Blair Waldorf and she would never risk to be caught while doing this.

When he pressed the doorknob, the door was locked and he heard the sound of someone gagging.

"Waldorf open that damn door! Blair!"

"Go away Bass!" her voice sounded muffled but determined.

Without a second thought Chuck launched his shoulder against the bathroom door causing it to bang open. And the sight he was seeing, broke his heart. Blair was kneeling in front of the toilet bowl, tears mixed with mascara streaming down her face.

"Oh god Blair, why are you doing this to yourself?" Tears sprang into his eyes as he rushed over to her and brushed her hair out of her face.

Blair closed her eyes for a minute. Serena had talked her to come back inside and then she had witnessed Chuck kissing a blond bombshell and her card house she had been building up today had crashed to pieces. The cake buffet and the bathroom had been the next logical step for her.

She snapped out of her haze and started yelling "stay away from me Chuck, what are you even doing here" Weren't you about to screw that blonde bombshell. What does it matter what I do or what happens to you? I obviously mean nothing to you, so why don't you just mind your own business and return to your new little friend?"

"Do you really believe what you're saying here Blair? Do you? I know I screwed up once again, but…

I'm here because I care about you, I'm here because you're important to me, I'm here because I…"

tbc…