Disclaimer: If you've seen them on the show, they aren't mine. They belong to Dick Wolf. I'm just borrowing them.
Sorry if some of the dialogue is a bit off from Guilt. I tried. Major spoilers ahead.
Please review for chapter six!
Alex rushes into the precinct five minutes late the next morning. Glancing at Olivia's expression, she sees the detective's displeasure at the ADA's tardiness, but that quickly gives way to relief that Alex is there at all, then merges into something else that the attorney recognizes as concern. She ducks her head so Olivia won't notice the layers of foundation of her face, caked on copiously to cover the evidence of Michael's rage the previous night. She can't tell Olivia now – if she does, Olivia will think it's her own fault. Olivia blames herself for enough as it is without having to deal with Alex's issues too. She doesn't want to burden her friend any further.
Either not noticing the marks on Alex's face or, at any rate, having the good sense not to comment on them, Olivia says, "So, can you get us that warrant?"
"Sure," agrees Alex. "I'll go find Judge Petrovsky now."
* * *
Judge Petrovsky raises her eyebrows in disdain when Alex tells her why she needs the warrant. "I can't believe you're even asking!"
Alex tries once more. She has to get justice for this poor boy, otherwise she'll never forgive herself. "Roy Barnett is a serial rapist. He will not stop until he's convicted."
"Neither of which is a reason to grant a warrant." Seeing the desperation on Alex's face, the judge's face softens. "You look like hell, Alexandra. Get some sleep."
She knows she does look like hell and she probably should go home and get some sleep. Michael won't be there, so she'll have several hours' undisturbed rest. But since she took yesterday off, she needs to get caught up today. She needs to get a warrant to search the Cavanaugh residence. She just has to. Usually so adept at bending the law to fit her own purposes, the skilled ADA is at a loss.
So she does the only thing she can do. It all boils down to whether Alex and her job are more important than protecting a young boy and putting a molester behind bars.
When you can't bend the law, sometimes you have to break it.
* * *
Alex is sitting in Judge Lena Petrovsky's office with Barnett's attorney, Roger Kressler. They're both glaring at her as if she's killed their best friend. She wants to look away from their penetrating stares, but she forces herself to glare right back at them. She has to be strong and make her case, because if she can't, it was all for nothing. Then not only will Sam Cavanaugh be damaged beyond repair but his molester will walk free. All because of Alex. So she says in as calm a voice as she can muster, "Mr. Barnett's fourth amendment rights were not violated. Linda Cavanaugh's certainly were, but she isn't the defendant. Mr. Barnett is." She's thought this argument through, unable to sleep last night because she'd continued to replay it over and over in her head. She practiced until she was able to recite it in a rational, persuasive tone. "He has no standing to contest a search of someone else's home."
Roger Kressler snorts, obviously thinking that she's on another planet and she's going to get her butt kicked later. Which she knows she will, but it's worth it. "Are you actually arguing that you can march in like the Gestapo and search any private residence?"
Alex takes a deep breath to compose herself and says quietly, "I am arguing that I can search any private residence that doesn't belong to your client and it will have no bearing on these proceedings."
Although the judge is still clearly displeased – actually, more than displeased, furious – the expression on Judge Petrovsky's face tells her that, much as the others are loath to admit it, Alex has won this one. The judge exhales and leans forward. Continuing to glare at Alex, she says, "While I deplore the assistant district attorney's actions, I am forced to agree. The illegal –" (here she punches the word) – "search of Linda Cavanaugh's residence is a civil tort. The defendant's privacy was not violated, therefore he has no legal standing to contest the search. Motion to suppress the evidence is denied." She says the last part more to Kressler, unable to keep the contempt from her voice before turning to Alex. "Ms. Cabot, I scarcely know where to begin. The liberties you have taken, the disdain you have shown toward the law in this court are highly unethical and a disgrace to your position. Be assured I will recommend your office look into your actions and you have done yourself a real disservice in my courtroom. I won't forget it."
Alex just watches her, waiting in silence for the judge to finish. She knows that legally, she did something wrong, but morally? That's a different story. Yet she doesn't blame Judge Petrovsky; her job is to uphold the law and that's what she's doing. She feels like a naughty child being admonished by a parent, but it's over now. It could have been worse.
The ADA takes a deep breath as she exits the judge's chambers. Judge Petrovsky's eyes are still boring into her back and the moment Alex leaves the room, she feels a wave of relief wash over her. Olivia and Elliot are standing in the hallway, looking anxious. Alex manages a wan half-smile. "The tapes are in."
Olivia exhales a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and murmurs, "Thank goodness."
"You should have told us," Elliot tells her.
She can't read the expression on his face so she says, "I'm sorry," even though she's not. It just seems like the right thing to say and she's learned that apologizing is the right thing to do in such situations.
"No, you're not," says Olivia. Olivia's right, in fact; the detective knows her too well.
"I am sorry you were ever in the middle of this," amends Alex. "But you're right. I'm not sorry about the rest."
* * *
She's standing in her boss' office, standing still as a statue, wiping her face clean of any emotion whatsoever. She has to be strong, unwavering, uncompromising, otherwise she will lose.
"One month's suspension," says Liz sharply. "And that's a gift, so save your arguments."
Alex bows her head. "I have no arguments."
"Fortunately, Linda Cavanaugh has decided not to file civil suit against you, me, the DA's office, the police department, and the city for your illegal search. So can I offer you a big congratulations on successfully setting civil liberties back two hundred years."
"I take full responsibility for my actions," says Alex quietly, not trusting her voice.
"Of course," replies Liz sarcastically. "You did it for the greater good, the safety of society. Bull. You did this for you."
Alex has to admit that Liz is right. She did feel guilty – very guilty – and that's why she can't let go of this one. She'll push on and on until she wins, no matter what the cost. But she also knows she has to protect future victims from Roy Barnett. What she told the judge is true; he won't stop unless she stops him. Justice is a burden as well as a relief. "I did this for hundreds of Barnett's future victims," she says.
"One," barks Liz. "One victim. Sam Cavanaugh." She pauses for effect, then says in a low, dangerous voice, "Did it work? Did it assuage your guilt?"
It hasn't and Alex knows it. She doesn't hesitate. "No. I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."
"I've got news for you," says Liz sharply. "It won't happen. Ever."
Forcing herself not to flinch at her boss' tone, Alex looks into her eyes. "I apologize for putting this bureau in jeopardy."
Still livid but somewhat appeased, Liz fixes Alex with an icy glare. "Go home, Alex. I'll see you in thirty days."
That's when the reality of her punishment really kicks in. The month ahead suddenly seems endless and she doesn't know how she'll survive. Every single day at home with just Michael. First of all, he'll be furious at the amount of trouble she's gotten herself into. Secondly, she won't be able to see Olivia for thirty entire days.
Of course Alex realizes that she could just call the detective if she misses her. But Alex doesn't want to seem too dependent and she's too ashamed to face her friend right now. She could have cost Olivia her job, and Olivia isn't even angry. She understands. And that's what hurts Alex the most.
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