An Uncharmed Life

Typically this is where the events that go with the summary of "Jedite goes undercover as Jed, in order to sell good luck charms at a temple called Cherry Hill…" yadda, yadda, yadda goes in right? Unfortunately for the poor souls that have been looking forward to Rei's first meeting with Usagi… I'm lazy and couldn't be unique with that. So instead imagine it for yourselves and I'll continue with the one part I have.

Do note, this is on my list to be written but I need to continue on.

Right… Rei finds hen shin pen thanks to Luna after Sailor Moon get's in over her head.

"Mars Power, Make Up!" Raye shouted, at Luna's insistence over the communicator she held, and in a wave of fire the Priestess was covered and changing into the short skirt and such of the Sailor Scouts… only her's was purely in red and violet.

'Oh no, here we go with a corney speech… I can just sense it.' Moon thought as Jewel twitched. He knew this too as Moon fished around her sub-space pocket and produced a deck of cards. She then got a dirty look from Jewel as Mars went through the poses and motions…

Twenty minutes, Jewel was drooling as he slept standing up and Moon was deep into an intense game of solitare. "And, in the name of Mars I will punish you!" she finally finished as Moon didn't look up and Jewel was still drooling. Moon glanced up from her cards and seen this and then seen the fuming Mars Scout and smirked as she gathered her cards up and shoved the pack back into it's place and pulled out a black permanent marker.

Mars gawked as Moon proceeded to make Jewel into a living mosiac. Then she stepped on his foot as the man screeched and glared at her. It was then that the maker drawn man drew away. "Mars Celestial Fire Surround!"

Later on, after they kicked the demon's ass and got on the bus with the disappeared people and the Penguin Man…

"The portal is closing!" Sailor Mars shouted as they boarded the bus with the people on it.

"Thank you Mistress of the Obvious." Sailor Moon snapped, biting her tongue to restrain the rest of her rant as Tuxedo Mask took the wheel. She was now ignoring the boy struck Mars by now and idly checking some of the passengers as Mars now chattered on to Tuxedo Mask.

"Will you shut up already? We need to get out of here." Moon sneered as Mars gave her a haughty look and stuck her nose in the air. 'I wish I could just break that upturned thing and…' Moon's musings trailed off as she blinked and shook her head. It wasn't good to get these feelings.

"Your just jealous because he likes me more." she stated as Tuxedo Mask blinked in surprise.

"If you want the annoying Penguin Man you can have him! I just want to go home, soak in a nice hot bath and forget this ever happened!" Sailor Moon snarled as Mars looked surprised. No one had even spoken to her with that much malice before. Most backed down from her bitch fits. "Just make sure he never touches me again."

"Okay." she stated as Tuxedo Mask looked shocked. "Come on, Tux Boy! I know this hunk of junk can move faster!" At least she recovered well.

As soon as the bus stopped, Ami and luna glanced up as Sailor Moon came storming off of the bus. She gave them an icy glare that rivaled a Mercurian attack and was walk ready disappearing down the street as Sailor Mars stepped off next. "Did she forget to take her Midol?" she asked as Ami laughed nervously.

"No, she's just naturally like that… plus she hates the uniform." she replied as Mars blinked.

"Who are you?" she growled out as Luna stepped in.

"She is your ally, Sailor Mercury, and I am Luna the Advisor to the Princess you are searching for." she stated as Mars glanced around.

"I'm taking orders from a cat with a tattoo?" she asked as Luna growled. "Alright, what about the blonde loud mouth?"

"She's supposed to be the leader, but she's going through a phase." Luna replied as mars snickered.

"Yeah, permanent bitchyness." she muttered as Ami sighed in defeat. This was going to be interesting, none the less.

God damn it these last few months have been hellish! The Sailor Scouts got sighted and pictures taken and on the news, there is now five of us. Gods of Mercy I wish I could have taken that damn cat out. I didn't ask to be the Bimbo of the Year in those outfits! Criminy, when I find the creature I am going to castrat him for this… because we all know that the person that did design them was a full-blooded male that wanted to see teenage girls in impossibly short skirts and high…

DAMN YOU! FRIGGIN' PERVERTS FROM THE DEEPEST, DARKEST REACH OF HELL!

I hope your wives catch on and your girlfriends lap your collective asses for this invasion of privacy! Then again we aren't too better so just stick with the first thought. Stupid dead pasts that should have stayed dead… well, minus a few.

Beryl was a nice person, once you killed off Metallia. CUE FLASHBACK!

(Am I back to being a pet Squirrel again?)

Yes you are, Marauder, seeing you let my story go for over one BLOODY YEAR!

(Okay, okay… sorry.)

That's better… now do it!

:FLASHBACK:

"Okay… why in the nine hells did you fall in love with that ass? He dresses in a tux or a bad green jacket and has a Zorro Complex!" Sailor Moon protested as Beryl blinked in surprise. "Trust me, I am sure you can do better… he throws roses and you throw dark power that can kill. If you were attacked who would be protecting who?

"I never thought of it that way." she stated as Metallia was screaming in the background.

"Shut the hell up you annoying black spirit! Her highness and I are having a conversation, go bother the Scouts and the terrible Zorro for the time!" she roared in anger as Metallia seemed to shrug and take that advice. Pretty soon the four scots were bitching in the background with Tuxedo Mask trying to offer some poetic advice.

Beryl was sitting on the ground, looking rather broken as Sailor Moon sat by her, growling something about skirts as she tapped the brooch and the transformation was gone. "I don't know… I thought he was strong and like the typical 'tall, dark, and handsome' but…" she looked ready to cry as Usagi fished around in her purse and handed the Negaverse ruler a tissue as she started to cry.

"There are more fish in the sea! That is it!" Usagi declared as Metallia was still causing trouble for them. "I have to introduce you to my favorite collection of movies." she replied as Beryl looked surprised. "Come on, Queenie, girl's night in. Leave them to battle Metallia the Negaforce and I'll show you a true tall, dark, and utterly sexy."

"Why?" she asked as Usagi smirked.

"It's my job to make you see the error of your ways and second… trust me, you'll like what I show you."

:END OF FLASHBACK:

So, after saving the Scouts and Tuxie's ass, Beryl agreed to my proposition. Metallia goes, she stays, we make her look my age, and she still rules the Negaverse. She lived with Jed, Neph, Zoy, and Mal and we cause trouble together in school now.

It pisses the scouts off, so it's acceptable. Hell, Beryl is utterly devious when it comes to fun and the Green Quartet seems to like her as their newest sister… which is funnier. She's been helping me with the past, and also with evil lessons. Which is even better.

Speaking of which, Naru says we are scary together… cause we sometimes talk in unison or finish each other's sentences. Oh yeah, attracted to shiny objects. Going off of her words we are rather amusing to watch… especially when we start hurling stuff at one another. Then again, Naru is rather used to that.

Life is relatively calm now.

I think.

Latley I have been coming to one conclusion about everything… I am in the center of it all. Not in the usual "I am the center of the universe so obey me" center but "why the hell am I the center of all major trouble" center… center of attention is not good.

Damn Luna. Damn Serenity…

Oh yeah, that annoying dead Queen. Mercy I have been talking with Beryl and such and I have come to one conclusion… my life was fucked up since the beginning. She even told me I was screwed from the beginning. Let me elaborate on this with Character traits.

Princess Serenity, the Moon Princess that Died: Prim, proper, willingly blonde, perfect daughter, never angry, typical Princess, not Disney either, annoying as hell, Roylal pain in the ass, loved Endymion the Dumbass, and committed suicide

Me (Usagi Tuskino): Vulgar, rebellious, sarcastic, destructive, spiteful, probably cynical, devious, and unique. Lacking more terms and such to put in there.

Did I mention that Beryl said she'd help me manipulate the Silver Crystal's power to make a new uniform? Well, if I didn't, she is and she is so my new hero! Go Beryl! Even if she can't help me, I'll still be happy as all hell to mess with their minds… oh yes… REVENGE WILL BE MINE!

Hehehe… sorry, got a bit carried away there.

Anyway, they idjit writing this will be updating again before another year passes.