Author's Note: I've taken a little longer than usual to update this time. I struggled slightly with this chapter; something about it just didn't sit right with me, but I think I've fixed that now. So I hope it doesn't disappoint. And thank you so much for the reviews; I love to hear what you think. Keep 'em coming! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.


Chapter Five – Typical

I don't actually remember making it to my bed that night, but I must have done because the next thing that I do remember is waking up in my clothes, on top of my duvet and dripping with sweat. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks when I opened my eyes, and I wasn't sure what was worse; that, or the suddenly painful memory of the dream that I'd just endured.

I played it over and over in my head, relentless and tormenting.

I couldn't really make anything out at first; all I could see was you. You stood there with your back to me in a long, ivory dress that seemed to flow fluidly, perfectly, over every curve of your body. I couldn't help but smile; you looked beautiful. Stunning, in fact; almost angelic.

It was only when you turned to face me that I noticed the desperate look you were carrying, and that's when everything else around you became clear. The pews filled with faceless people; the middle-aged vicar stood in front of you; the proud family around you; the man stood beside you.

The look on your face seemed to grow more desperate and lost by the second, and I felt myself fighting to get to you; but the closer I got, the further you became. And the times I did get close, I was blocked by the laughing faces of people I'd never met.

Typical. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all. Here I was five hours after you'd ripped my heart out, and still even in my dreams, I was trying to protect you. I should've seen an evil, manipulative woman who was breaking my heart. I should've hated you for what you were doing to me. But instead I saw the lost face of the woman I love staring back at me, pleading for me to help her.

Maybe that was my subconscious' way of telling me that you weren't evil, or even manipulative; that in actual fact you needed me. But I wouldn't, couldn't, admit that to myself right now - I was too angry with you; with myself. What good would it do anyway?

I must have laid there for around half an hour, replaying it to myself, torturing myself and becoming angrier by the minute. I genuinely don't know if that anger was directed at you for what you'd done, or at myself for having this innate need to protect you; for, even when it did me absolutely no good, and in fact made it worse, still wanting to keep you safe; for not being able to hate you even in my dreams; for being a complete pushover for you.

My head was spinning. Every part of my brain seemed to be at war with the next.

Trying not to think about you for the rest of that day took every ounce of energy from me. I busied myself in paper work and pretty much anything I could find; anything to keep my own thoughts from torturing me, anything to keep myself from even laying eyes on you. Just.. you. Anything to do with you.

I'd become so lost in my own little world that I visibly jumped when I heard you say my name as I stood quietly making coffee in the break room. I told you that I didn't want to talk when I eventually turned around, but I think I knew myself that that little charade wouldn't hold up very long. And just as I'd thought; it really didn't.

You followed me around the room like a lost puppy as I pretended to be busy, trying so hard to explain yourself, and though for the most part I didn't want to hear it, I suddenly felt guilty and stopped to listen to what you had to say.

"I'm sorry, Em. I really am.. You weren't meant to find out this way."

Those words rung through my head like a fog horn. Find out this way? There shouldn't be anything to for me to find out at all! Is it not bad enough that you're fucking both of us? I said nothing.

"You know I love you.. It's just really not that easy.."

Again, I said nothing.

"Em, please.. Can I see you tonight? We really need to talk about this.."

I'm not sure if it was my sudden need to be out of that room, or the thought of having the night with you that made me agree, but I did nonetheless. Although, I'm not sure why I'm surprised at this.