AN: Hiya everyone out there still reading this mess of a story! This chapter would have been up sooner but I got hit with a very large case of writer's block. Though this part was mostly written I couldn't get myself to edit it without my brain turning to mush. Not entirely sure why I had writer's block but I think it's mostly gone now. I could always blame the New York Mets and their awful play but I've just about given up on them. Usually I vary what I'm writing based on if the Mets are winning or losing--- superstitious bunch us baseball fans are ---but I had to change what I was writing daily. Okay…so maybe the writer's block was their fault! Anyway, thanks to everyone who's taken time out to read this story! I really appreciate it! To anyone who's left me a review or put my story on their alert list, you rock like a box of socks! Feel free to leave a review….good, bad, or indifferent! I'm just curious to read what you have to say!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters I made up and their Real World alter egos. I don't own The Matrix, The Animatrix, or any of that cool stuff. I'm broke and I just finished graduate school for my Master's Degree. All I own are my Pointe shoes.
"If
the children don't grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts
get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms
turnin' every good thing to
rust.
I guess we'll just have to adjust." (From "Wake Up" by Arcade Fire)
It was a rare occasion but Pixie found herself by herself. Usually someone--- alright it was mostly Wheeler ---was with her during her waking hours because of her back. She still wasn't able to bend from the waist to touch the floor nor was she very able to lift heavy objects either thanks to the bruises on her back. Pixie was aware of the fact she'd be limited for a long while because of the bruises. For awhile, at least, they'd be a lasting reminder of what Hawk had done to her. Maybe he intended things to be like that and maybe he didn't, Pixie wasn't entirely sure. Thinking like Hawk, having to guess at his motives for trying to cripple her left her shaking in her socks.
Pixie knew she'd eventually have to face Hawk but she wasn't exactly thrilled by that prospect. She knew it was important to everyone in Zion to have someone convinced for what transpired on the Nebuchadnezzar. Cypher, the mastermind as it was, had been killed by Tank. The only person left to blame was Hawk, who'd been party to Cypher's treachery and the only person who knew what Hawk had done was Pixie. She had no doubt he'd be found guilty of both his and Cypher's crimes. Her testimony was only a formality, really. It was just so Hawk could be found legally guilty.
Hawk still had the right to a trial, no matter what he'd done; at least that's what Ngaio had told her. He had to have a trial otherwise he could claim he was being kept in the Stockade without reason. That would be seen as a failing of the justice system in Zion. There would be a closed trial--- just the council, Hawk, and what was left of the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar ---and only one witness to be called. Pixie was that one witness, even if she really didn't want to be.
The fact the trial would be closed only made Pixie's nerves that much worse. She wouldn't be allowed to have anyone in the room with her just in case she happened to freak out. She'd been hoping her friends could come in with her but that wasn't going to happen. Aisling had already decided, though, that they'd gone down with her and wait for her to be finished. It was the least they could do, the honey blond Zion Born figured. Pixie didn't know why Aisling was being so kind to her--- Aisling was, generally, quite sarcastic and loved nothing more than to tease Pixie. ---but Pixie wasn't going to question it.
Wheeler had said she'd need to widen the circle of people she felt safe with and where better to start than with her long time friends. Pixie had already decided she wasn't going to tell them everything about the panic attacks she was having. She figured Aisling would guess what was wrong with her, eventually, but Adoh and Ngaio might not. Either way, Pixie decided she'd take Wheeler's advice and try to make them into her "safe people" just as she'd done to Wheeler. Pixie figured, though, that no one was going to take Wheeler's place. He was still going to be her primary "safe person" whether he liked it or not.
At the moment, though, Wheeler wasn't around. He'd left early, just after breakfast, claiming he'd be back later. There was something about a meeting of the Shatterpoint crew he had to attend. They were speaking with the Council a few days before Hawk's trial in order to recount what events they'd seen.
Wheeler had ordered Pixie to relax and rest up--- his non-medical, medical opinion ---but Pixie had never been good with being idle. Even when she'd been at her sickest in the Matrix, Pixie hadn't been good with being idle. She always had to be doing something; anything at all just to keep her mind busy. If left too long, the young woman knew she'd start to dwell on the thoughts in her head and that was a very dangerous thing to say the least. Especially now since the thoughts in her head all tended back towards her panicking about something. It was safer for her to be busy; even if her back was protesting against it and she was well aware of the fact it wasn't good for her to keep busy because she was on her feet.
At the moment she was leaning over--- not the best position to be in as her lower back was screaming at her to straighten up ---checking on a round bottomed flask resting in what looked like half a hollowed out grey softball. Whatever was in the flask seemed to meet her approval as Pixie flipped a switch on the grey boxy object that was supporting both the flask and its grey softball seat. She checked a few more connections on the distillation devices she'd set up around her front room, the soft sucking sound coming from one of them fading as the crowds meandered outside her door.
Pixie had left her front door open a fraction of an inch just to let the "stale air," at least that's what Wheeler called it, out of her small home. Though she didn't like crowds, herself, the noise outside her small home made Pixie feel better. It made her feel less alone, even though the crowd was outside her home and she was busy inside.
It was the sound from the crowd that alerted Pixie to something strange going on. The noise was no longer the normal babble of people as they passed on their way to and from wherever they were going. Instead it was that strange sound growing crowds made. It was like organized chaos in a way, the sound she was hearing. Lots of voices trying to talk as one and it wasn't working.
Curiosity getting the better of her--- Pixie was never one to leave her "experiments" running without her watchful eyes on them ---the young woman wandered over to the door and opened it a bit more so she could stick her head out. On the far end of the walkway, a large crowd was gathering for reasons Pixie could only guess at.
"What in the world is going on?" Pixie mumbled, speaking to herself as she sometimes did when she was alone.
Checking to see if a crowd was gathering at the other end of the walkway, Pixie got her answer. A long figure at the other end, the end opposite of the gathering crowd, caught her attention and answered her question in one fell swoop. The figure was walking along the length of the catwalk, trying to look everywhere at once as if he or she wasn't sure where they were.
Whoever this person was, he--- Pixie was fairly sure it was a guy ---appeared both lost and confused, with a little bit of afraid thrown into the mix. As the person drew closer to her doorway, Pixie figured out both who he was and why the crowd had gathered at the far end of the walkway. A small smile crossed her face as she realized that it was only thanks to her repaired eye sight that she'd been able to come to such a conclusion without the thick lensed glasses she'd worn during her time in the Matrix.
The lone figure, walking along the catwalk and seemingly trying to figure out just where he was at the moment, was Neo. How he'd gotten down to Pixie's level was a question the young woman couldn't answer. She'd assumed that Neo would be staying with Trinity several levels above hers. The homes on the upper levels were nicer than the standard three room homes people like Pixie got.
It didn't take a genius to figure out that someone had tipped off the crowd of Neo's appearance on the level and they were waiting to ambush him. What Neo had managed to do in the Matrix--- destroy an Agent, which had been previously been thought impossible ---had gotten leaked to the general population. Those who believed were eager to have the man they thought was "the One" give them blessings and make promises to protect family members on other crafts.
"He's absolutely not ready for this," Pixie mumbled, now standing in the doorway of her own home trying to decide how to save Neo from the crowd that was looming before him.
As Neo crossed her path, not noticing Pixie standing there watching him with a curious expression on her face, Pixie decided it was time to do something. Thinking on her feet--- something Pixie knew she wasn't the best at doing ---she grabbed Neo by the hand and half-dragged him into her own home.
"Follow me," she mumbled, ushering the One into her home and slamming the door behind her as hard as she possibly could.
Pixie had to give Neo credit. He didn't say a word to her until she slammed the door. If it had been her, and some unknown person had dragged her into their home, Pixie liked to think she'd put up something like a fight. She guessed, or, at least, hoped, she'd caught Neo so badly off guard that he didn't have time to react to his pseudo-abduction by Pixie.
"What's the big idea?" he started, glaring at Pixie in a frightened sheep sort of way.
Pixie sat down Indian style, on one of her mismatched chairs and gestured for Neo to do the same. He took the seat across from Pixie, noticing for the first time that he knew his would-be abductor. She might have looked a bit neater but it was still the young woman he remembered being introduced to what seemed like a whole other lifetime ago.
"Those people down the end of the catwalk knew you were coming--- someone probably told them you'd gotten lost or something ---and were waiting to ambush you," Pixie answered. "I figured that getting caught in a crowd looking for your blessings was a bit much for your first few weeks here. I just figured you'd want to avoid something like that."
The young woman shrugged, wondering if she'd just offended Neo somehow. She was just acting on an impulse; doing what she thought was right. She wasn't actually sure what Neo was and wasn't ready for. He could have been well prepared to face the crowd and she didn't know it.
"What do you mean?" he asked, sounding confused and making Pixie feel a bit better about what she'd done.
Neo hadn't had much time to interact with the population of Zion. He'd spent most of his time being poked and prodded by members of the Science Council who wanted to see how his mind differed from all the other minds they'd freed or questioned by members of the Council--- the older men and women who seemed to be in charge of Zion ---who wanted to know how he'd managed to destroy and an Agent. If he wasn't with them, he was with Trinity. For some reason, people tended to give Trinity wide berth even when he was with her.
Neo had been trying to get back to Trinity's after another day of questions. Apparently, he'd taken a right when he was supposed to hook a left or something because he'd gotten lost. How he'd wound up on Pixie's floor was just one mistake he'd made. At least, Pixie had found him. Maybe she'd be able to get him back to Trinity's.
Pixie giggled, the sound muffled by the sleeve she was using to cover her mouth, and got up to pour more of a solution she'd brewed up into a large funnel. The vacuum that had just been a low, annoying sound in the background grew louder for a brief moment as more of the solution was pulled into the flask below. Neo stared at the large funnel, wondering what exactly Pixie was doing.
"You're the One," Pixie started to explain, returning to her seat and tucking her legs underneath her again. "People who believe in you are going to expect you to make miracles and for you to end this war. At least, that's what I've heard anyway."
She shrugged and continued, "Don't get me wrong, I saw what you did to Smith and how you can back. I might even believe that you're the One but please don't think me rude by not expecting miracles from you. Call it scientific skepticism if you want."
An uncomfortable silence fell between the two crew members as they sat across from one another. The only sounds filling the space between them were the vacuum sounds coming from the overly large funnel and the boiling of water coming from the distillation devices. Other than that, Pixie stared at the top of her worn table and Neo continued to try and figure out just what Pixie was cooking up.
"Come on," Pixie suggested breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I'll give you the grand tour of the place."
Gingerly getting to her feet--- sitting down hadn't helped her back any ---Pixie made an expansive gesture, indicating the entire room around her. Pixie wasn't exactly a neat freak but she liked things to be orderly. It made living in three rooms a whole lot easier. Lately, Rain and Wheeler had been helping her with the minor chores around her three rooms. She'd pointed out, more than once, that she didn't need any help but both Rain and Wheeler had smiled and just nodded their heads and helped anyway.
Secretly, Pixie didn't mind them helping. It was just that she hated feeling helpless. Being helpless reminded her of her time in the Matrix and that was a time Pixie didn't want to go back to. She still had to prove to herself that she could do things herself.
"This is my living room, kitchen, hallway, and like a million other things," Pixie stated, taking about the room they were currently standing in. "When you're living in three rooms sometimes spaces take on more than one use."
"What are you doing with these?" he asked, recognizing the distillation devices Pixie was using since he'd seen Dozer's on the Nebuchadnezzar.
One of the two devices was producing a vaguely orange colored liquid; the other a clear liquid. Behind him, the larger funnel was still busily separating whatever Pixie had poured into it. Neo got the feeling he was either standing in the middle of his high school chemistry classroom or in some sort of illicit laboratory.
"Distillation devices," Pixie answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'll explain those later."
She practically had to pull Neo away from the two devices that sat gurgling on in their respective niches. There was more to her tour than the little lab she had running in her kitchen.
"This is the bathroom but there's nothing really to see in there. It looks like every other bathroom in Zion," Pixie commented, pointing to a heavy metal door. "And his is my room. Just give me a second."
She stuck her head around the heavy orange and blue curtain that separated her room from the rest of her home. Since Wheeler had come to stay with her, his things had found a home in her room. It was easier than him having to go back and forth everyday to get clothing. Though nearly everyone knew that Wheeler was staying with her--- why he was staying with her, that story varied from person to person ---the two of them had been careful not to show it. Technically speaking, the house was still Pixie's and Wheeler was just staying over. Neither of them wanted to give their friends, especially Aisling anymore ammunition to use on them.
"Are you hiding someone in there?" Neo asked, remembering that Trinity had said Wheeler--- a boy from the Shatterpoint and Pixie's boyfriend ---was staying with Pixie now.
Pixie pulled her head out from behind the curtain, giving Neo a shy smile. She almost couldn't believe that he'd asked her that question. He didn't really seem like the type to ask questions like that but, then again, Pixie was well aware of the fact she wasn't very good at reading people.
"No," Pixie, carefully, replied."Wheeler's at a meeting with his crew so he's not around. I just wanted to check to make sure the bed's made and stuff. Wheeler's been helping me with the stuff I'm not technically supposed to be doing because of my back."
The room he entered was a far cry from what Neo had been expecting. He'd been expecting to see more experiments going on, like the lair of some kind of mad scientist. Instead, he found himself faced with a very simple and oddly neat space.
Pixie's bed was an alcove in the wall and seemed to be covered in several differently colored, heavy blankets. The topmost was bright red--- almost the same color as a fire engine ---and appeared to be hand dyed. Sitting propped up against the few pillows was a ragged looking item Neo wasn't really sure he recognized. The rest of the room seemed to be full of various storage bins containing clothing and assorted small items--- most appearing to be paperback and hard covered books of all things ---tucked into various niches in the walls.
Pixie wandered over to her bed, sitting Indian style in the widest part of the arch. She sat quietly and watched Neo as he stood in the doorway of the small space she and Wheeler shared and she creatively called her bedroom.
"You can come in and look around. There's nothing here you won't see in my bunk on the Nebuchadnezzar," she stated, matter of factly.
"What's that thing?" Neo asked, pointing to the creature sitting on her bed with her.
"This guy?" Pixie stated, gently removing the ragged looking creature from his home nestled in the pillows at the head of her bed. "His name's Eli."
She handed the figure to Neo, allowing him to get a better look at it. Her brandy brown eyes were focused solely on Neo and on how he was handling the stuffed creature in his hands. From the way she was watching him, Neo was getting the feeling that Pixie was afraid he was, somehow, going to hurt the stuffed thing. The creature was a frivolous item but Pixie treasured him nonetheless. She didn't want to see anything happen to him.
Neo took the creature from Pixie, wondering what it actually was. It was made of a nubbly brown fabric and seemed to be only partially stuffed. Two tiny spots of rough, black felt made up eyes and a larger one appeared to a nose. Black thread, coarse under his fingers, filled in for a mouth.
It took Neo a second to realize what Pixie had handed him. It didn't look like what they looked like in the Matrix but that didn't seem to matter to Pixie. She seemed to think the creature he was holding was important. The thing was, it wasn't some sort of creature. Upon closer inspection, Neo realized that it was a teddy bear.
Ever so carefully, he handed the bear-like creature back to Pixie who, gently, placed it at the head of her bed. She looked at the bear for a moment before turning her attention back to Neo and the question he seemed to want to ask her.
"He was a gift from my foster mother, Rain. She makes fabric to be used for clothing and bedding and has access to that kind of stuff. He's made of extra bits of fabric that were too small to be used for anything else," Pixie explained.
"But if you were fifteen when you came here, what are you doing with a teddy bear?" Neo wanted to know.
Most of the teenagers he'd met in the Matrix weren't exactly the type to keep stuffed animals. Then again, most of the teenagers he'd known weren't like Pixie, who was still, technically speaking, a teenager. She was more an adult in miniature than a rebellious, partying nineteen year old college student. An adult in miniature who kept stuffed animals and storybooks but still a smaller version of an adult.
"Rain was making one for her son and she made me one too. She said she realized I was too old for stuffed animals but she felt bad just making one for her son since she'd only just adopted me. That made me like her daughter or something like that," Pixie explained.
"Why Eli?" he asked, understanding why the teddy bear-like creature was important to her but not its name.
Pixie hid her laugh behind a cough and turned a very interesting shade of pink. It was a strange name of a bear but, like the bear, there was a reason behind the name.
"Rain's son's name is Eli. He's sort of like my little brother now but when Rain gave us our bears, he asked me what I wanted to call mine and I told him Eli as a joke. The name kind of stuck," Pixie told Neo.
"Is his bear's named Pixie?" Neo wanted to know with a laugh.
Pixie shook her head, brushing her loose hair from out of her eyes, and replied, "Actually it isn't. His is named Dweezle or something weird like that."
Deciding she'd done enough sharing for one afternoon, she added, "Come on, I'll show you what I had cooking in the kitchen!"
