AN: Hiya! First, I apologize for how long this update is. I couldn't think of a good place to split it so I left it in one long piece. I hope this is a good enough resolution for what took place between Pixie and Hawk. Second, I know Clay Aiken isn't exactly the coolest of singers but, when I, initially, wrote this, my sister was really into Clay Aiken and it was all she listened to. I guess her music kind of crept into this story and stayed with this update. Thankfully, her taste in music has changed since then. Anywho, thanks to everyone who put my little misadventure on alert! I really appreciate it. Remember, I'm open to any and every review…good, bad, or indifferent. Just let me know how I'm doing!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters I made up and their Real World alter egos. I don't own The Matrix, The Animatrix, or any of that cool stuff. I'm broke and I just finished graduate school for my Master's Degree. All I own are my Pointe shoes.

"Haven't you heard
You are no longer respected
You are formally rejected
From the one you hurt…" (From "No More Sad Songs" by Clay Aiken)

Pixie knew, in advance, that the day of Hawk's trial was not going to be a good one. Not for her and, hopefully, not for him either. Pixie knew that part of her whole panic attack issue was something called "future forward" fear. The anticipation that came with her not being able to foresee or control the future ahead of her, that was the only way Pixie could describe it to Wheeler when he'd asked her what "future forward" fear was. The thing was, for Pixie, it wasn't just her future that she worried about.

After what had happened to her and her crew, she now worried about the futures all her friends faced when they all went back to work. She'd never tell anyone--- other than Wheeler, of course ---about that fact. Partly because she knew Aisling would give her the tough love answer and tell her just to deal with and get over the fact she couldn't control the future. The other part had to do with something she'd said before they'd all shipped out of Zion for the first time. She'd made the rather bold prediction that they were all going to survive the war and celebrate its end together. With everything that had happened, Pixie didn't feel as confident about what she'd said as she had back then. It was more a constant worry about all the "whatifs" that could happen.

It was a fear Pixie knew she was going to have to not only master but get over if she ever wanted the panic attacks to get under control. She'd never be able to work if she spent her days afraid of what was going to happen in the future. Well, the parts of her future she has no control over. Pixie knew she had to come back to the realization, as she had when she was just a kid living in the Matrix, that there were things she couldn't control. Those were the things she had to learn to accept, no matter how much she didn't like them or how much they scared her.

However, there were things she could control and, Pixie knew, those were the things she had to hang on to. One of those things was the fact Pixie could decide not to be afraid. She had to decide not to let her panic attacks run her life. Easier said than done most days of the week. There were just some days when it was very hard to ignore the skin crawling, heart racing, all consuming fear that came with the panic attacks she had.

The day of Hawk's trial, despite the fact Pixie knew Wheeler and her friends would be coming with her, was one such day. She'd woken earlier than normal, her heart already going a mile a minute even as she climbed out of bed. The feeling only got worse--- Her skin starting to feel uncomfortably tight and crawling at the same time. ---as she tried to choke down something to eat.

No matter how hard she tried to ignore the panic building in her mind, Pixie found she couldn't will this panic attack away. She could try to hide the fact she was freaking out, since no one except Wheeler could tell when she was freaking out, but that wasn't an option this time. She couldn't very well give testimony against Hawk when she wasn't even sure she could speak in complete sentences and she felt as if her entire body was shaking like a leaf. It had taken Wheeler talking her through the attack for the panic attack to finally grind to a slow halt and for Pixie to feel up to heading down to where Hawk's trial was going to be held. Pixie could only hope that she had the physical and mental strength to hold herself together during the trial and not freak out when it was most important.

"For the official record, please state your given name, current position, and ship?" asked the councilman Pixie assumed was presiding over Hawk's trial.

Pixie looked around the wide room, trying not to acknowledge the knot of fear that had settled itself in her stomach and wishing that she'd been able to bring her friends into the chamber with her. The room, meant to hold all the members of the fleet if necessary, was vastly empty. The closed trial had required only the members of the crew directly impacted by Hawk's actions be present, without any outside interferences. The crews of both the Logos and the Shatterpoint had given their testimony earlier in the week so their presences were deemed unnecessary now. That was something that upset Pixie as, if the crew of the Shatterpoint had been allowed to sit in at the trial, Wheeler would have been sitting someplace in the vast emptiness behind her.

At a long metal table, Pixie stood while Morpheus, Neo, and Trinity sat. They'd already given their testimonies, leaving Pixie for last since she was the only one who could, actually, account for Hawk's actions. The others only saw the after effects of Hawk's attack but could give varied accounts on what Cypher had done. That was something Pixie, who'd been stuck in the medical bay that day with Hawk, could not do.

Hawk, flanked by two frighteningly large guards, sat at a separate table a good distance away from Pixie and the others. Despite the guards that stood at his side, Hawk looked completely at ease with himself and his surroundings. He had the look of someone who was convinced of his own innocence and going through the trial was just a formality for him.

Pixie took a deep breath before speaking, trying to calm herself down so she didn't stammer when she went to speak. That would have shown just how nervous she actually was and Pixie had decided that she didn't want to show the Council just how nervous she actually was. There was that fact and the fact she really didn't want to give Hawk the satisfaction of seeing her visibly nervous. She wanted him to see her as someone who was cool, calm, and collected. Someone who was not afraid to speak up for herself in the situation she'd found herself in.

Inside, Pixie was barely controlling the panic she was feeling. Her skin felt too tight and uncomfortable, one of the signs she was going to freak out. The only thing that was keeping her from actually having a panic attack was the fact Wheeler and her friends had come with her and were waiting for the trial to end. Wheeler had told her before she'd gone in to face Hawk once more--- Pixie wanted to say he'd ordered her but that wasn't actually true. Wheeler never ordered her to do anything. ---to be strong and to show Hawk he'd only slowed her down. He hadn't stopped her despite the fact he'd tried to break her back and she was dealing with panic attacks.

"My name is Pixie, sir. I, currently, work under Captain Morpheus as the resident Medic-in-Training on the Nebuchadnezzar," she stated, keeping her voice as respectful as she possibly could.

Hawk yawned, rather loudly, and asked, "Can we get all this formal stuff over with fast? We all know, I'm innocent. I get you have to do this to prove it but it's boring and I have other things I could be doing."

All eyes turned to Hawk, his outburst not only disturbing but highly disrespectful given the circumstances. Pixie only sighed and shook her head. Hawk had never been one to just sit and wait. He'd always wanted the quick and easy way, even when that way could cause more trouble than it was worth.

"Given the evidence Pixie has against you, Hawk, an innocent verdict is not assured. It would do you well to wait and see what the Council has to say," Morpheus informed the impatient young man.

Turning away from Hawk, he added, "My apologizes to the Council. Please continue."

"And what is the nature of your relationship with the accused?" questioned another member of the Council.

Pixie grew thoughtfully quiet for a moment, biting her lower lip as she tried to figure out how to best answer the question set before her. There was, really, no easy way to answer the question. Her answer, inherently, didn't make sense but, then, several of her friendships had come out of the same nonsensical situation.

"We knew---I guess the more appropriate phrase would be that we thought we knew ---each other in the Matrix. We grew up in the same group home and were friends, I suppose. He was unplugged several weeks before I was and that friendship continued here, for a time anyway," Pixie started.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, since she disliked this part of the story, Pixie continued, "While we were in the Academy together, he decided that he was much too important to talk to someone like me. After that, we didn't see each other; much less speak to each other until we were both assigned to the Nebuchadnezzar.

"To sum things up, I guess you could describe the nature of our relationship, prior to him trying to cripple me with a metal plate, was one that went from good friendship to barely restrained hostilities," Pixie finished, hoping her explanation had made some kind of sense.

"Your honors," Hawk shouted, interrupting the next question that was being directed towards Pixie. "She's lying. Why don't you tell them how you sent your little boyfriend after me at the temple gathering. We saw each other then, didn't we?"

Hawk snickered as a look of utter horror crossed Pixie's face. To Pixie, there seemed to be no rhyme or reason as to why Hawk would bring that situation up now. That night, he'd been just another face in the huge crowd that had gathered at the temple. It was only the next day, when she'd reported to her ship, that she'd found it was Hawk that Wheeler had gone after in her defense. Before then, there had been no way of her knowing that it had been Hawk who'd accosted her at the temple gathering.

"Is this true, Pixie?" Pixie found herself being asked.

Pixie didn't make it practice to curse--- She "replaced" curse words with other words instead. ---as most of the fleet seemed to be fond of doing. If she did curse, however, she figured she have several choice words for Hawk and his comment. Since she didn't curse, Pixie heaved an annoyed and frustrated sigh. She had to think of way not only to defend herself against Hawk's accusation but try not to implicate Wheeler too badly in the event Hawk was referring to.

"I must admit that his words have a ring of truth," Pixie, nervously, admitted. "But it's a very small ring. It's true that both Hawk and I were present at the temple gathering he's referring to. I went to get a beverage and someone…well…if you'll pardon my phrasing, made a very unwanted and impolite pass at me. My friend--- the boyfriend he's talking about ---took exception to Hawk's advances, though both my friend and I didn't know it was Hawk at the time, and decided to come to my defense. Hawk too exception and struck my friend first."

Sighing, she, unwillingly, added, "If you want my friend to verify my story, he's waiting for me outside the Council Chamber."

Part of Pixie's mind continued to wonder if it was wise to even drag Wheeler into the situation she found herself in now. Wheeler hadn't had anything to do with the crimes Hawk was being tired for. The fight at the temple gathering was almost more than a year ago, before Neo had been freed and before Hawk had decided he'd had enough of Morpheus.

The other part of her mind was afraid that she'd somehow made a huge mistake by telling the Council that particular story, even though Hawk, himself, had brought it up. There was a chance that they could somehow feel sorry for Hawk and lessen the charges brought against him. Perhaps that was why Hawk had decided to dredge that story up from their shared past. It could have been a ploy to earn him some measure of pity from the Council.

Pixie's nerves weren't helped when, instead of facing another question, the Councilors started speaking to one another in hurried whispers. Standing as she was, only added to her discomfort with the situation. Sitting might have helped her some; leaving the room would have been even better.

Since the latter wasn't about to happen any time soon, Pixie tried to find other places to focus her attention. Without thinking, she looked over at Hawk. The young man gave her a rather large smile, pleased with the situation he'd forced her into. Looking in Hawk's direction--- While it did manage to turn her nerves into something like annoyance ---was not something Pixie figured she should be doing. Getting annoyed was about as helpful as panicking, in her opinion. Instead, the young woman turned her towards the others sitting at her table.

"Did I say something wrong? What happened?" Pixie asked, in her own hurried whisper.

Morpheus looked at Pixie and answered, "I will not pretend to understand why Hawk wanted to implicate Wheeler in this situation but it was probably not your brightest moment elaborating on the situation Hawk brought up. Perhaps, the Council is taking into account Hawk's history of violent behavior. It is hard to tell, given what Hawk is trying to imply about you and Wheeler."

Pixie felt herself physical flinch at Morpheus's words. She now felt worse about getting her closest friend involved in this situation. The young woman knew that Wheeler would stick up for her and defend her actions if it came down to him speaking before the Council. He was always good for things like that.

After a few very long, tense moments, the Councilors turned their attention back towards Pixie and Hawk. Hawk crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, seeming more annoyed than he'd previously been. Pixie, for her part, tried to force herself to stand up straight--- Not an easy feat all things considered. ---and fight back against the butterflies in her stomach.

"Though we've heard several accountings of what happened on the Nebuchadnezzar," an older Councilor asked in a very serious tone. "We have not yet heard your account of what happened, Pixie. We are now asking you to give an accounting of Hawk's actions against both yourself and your crew. Will you be able to do that for us?"

After, mentally, promising herself this was going to be the last time she was going to tell anyone this story, Pixie answered, "Members of the Council, I can, to the best of my abilities and memory, give you an account of what Hawk did to me."

After her return to Zion, Pixie had rapidly learned that anyone with a war story, even one like hers, was going to be asked to tell the story more than once. Torrent had said that people, especially those who weren't part of the Resistance, wanted to hear the stories told by people who were out there fighting for everyone's freedom. Pixie had been asked to tell her own story more than once and she'd, frankly, gotten sick of telling it. Every time she had to tell it, it was like living those events once again and she didn't want to have to do that ever again.

It hurt her, physically and mentally, to relive what Hawk had done to her. Though she was avoiding having to go to the fleet appointed psychologist like the plague, Pixie had come to the conclusion that dwelling on what he had done to her could only make her panic attacks worse. She wanted to get over what Hawk had done to her just as she wanted to get over her panic attacks. Talking about it, didn't seem to be helping the situation any. The less time she spent thinking about it and about him, the better off she would be.

Truthfully, Pixie knew she'd been trying to get along with Hawk just to keep the peace on her ship. She didn't want to be friends with him, didn't even want to try going down that road again. In her very humble opinion, Pixie had everything she needed--- a family to belong to, a few very good friends to confide in, a job she loved despite its inherent dangers, and a better than best friend, or a boyfriend if one chose to call him that, in Wheeler. Even thinking about trying to fit Hawk into all of that would only disrupt everything she had.

Things would just be easier, she decided, as she told the Council everything that had transpired the day Hawk decided to betray the Resistance, to just leave everything about Hawk behind. He'd always be part of her past but he didn't have to be a part of her future. She'd finally learned that lesson, even though the price for such a lesson was very high.

"I knocked Hawk out using the strongest anesthetic I was able to get my hands on but, thanks to the injuries to my back, I was unable to make an attempt to stop Cypher," Pixie finished, wrapping up her narrative.

Her last statement hung in the air, causing an oppressive silence to fall in the large chamber. Pixie knew there was little else she could say about that day and what had transpired and the Council seemed too stunned to actually respond. They hadn't fallen into such a deep, contemplative silence after hearing Hawk's side of the story.

"That is some tale, young lady. Your official medical record, taken by a Barriss on board the Shatterpoint, appears to be congruent with the narrative you have just presented us with." stated the eldest of all the Councilmen. What I would like to know is, what you consider to be the proper punishment for Hawk's crimes?"

"I was lead to believe," Pixie stated, after staring at Morpheus and the others with a confused expression. "That it was not up to me to decide what was to be done with Hawk."

"That's Captain Morpheus talking," the eldest man stated. "You're obviously a free thinking individual; otherwise you wouldn't be here, so I'd like to know what you think. Perhaps you and I are thinking along the same lines."

Pixie must have looked as baffled as she felt since the older man quietly chuckled. She had been expecting to come in, state her case, and have the Council come to a decision about Hawk's guilt or innocence. No one had bothered to mention that she would have input in said decision.

The young woman looked questioningly at Morpheus, Trinity, and Neo, trying to get them to help her understand what was going on. Her replies were silent and not exactly the most helpful. This, it seemed, was supposed to be a decision she made all on her own. The others weren't going to give her their input on what she should say or do. This was all up to her now.

"I've never been to a trial here before and I'm afraid I don't really know what sort of penalties are fitting for different crimes," Pixie explained. "I could say that Hawk should be thrown in whatever your equivalent of jail is and be left there to rot but that wouldn't be very fair. Maybe there's a faint chance he can be rehabilitated, and become a productive member of Zion once again. Then again, there may not be...I'm not sure. If he is able to ever work on a ship again, though, I don't want him on a ship with me."

Pixie hadn't wanted her idea of punishment for Hawk to seem cruel, though she knew he deserved a harsher punishment for his crimes. All Pixie really wanted was for whatever connection there was between the pair of them to be severed completely. Her life was her life and his life, whatever its nature, was his life. Two separate entities never to be entwined again.

The young woman was knocked out of her own reverie by someone tugging at the sleeve of the sweater sleeves she was wearing. Wheeler had said she should have gone without the covering on her shoulders--- just to show Hawk and the Council her bruises ---but Pixie had staunchly refused. She didn't want her bruises stared at anymore than they had to be.

"They are going to need a moment to deliberate, Pixie. I believe you can sit," Morpheus pointed out.

Pixie gave her captain a sheepish smile and, gratefully, lowered herself into the chair next to him. She'd been standing ramrod straight for some time--- longer than she had in some time ---and she was only starting to notice her back being stiff. It worried the young woman a little that she was becoming use to her back being sore. She didn't want to be in pain all the time but she also didn't want to inadvertently hurt herself because her back wasn't sore.

"What do you think will happen to Hawk?" Pixie wanted to know.

She wasn't sure what the punishment policy in Zion was. She knew the Council existed---someone had to run the city and one of the Councilors, now retired, had stepped in to help her when she was having a problem getting her application to work on a ship accepted ---but she'd never had to deal with the judicial part of it. Her and her friends weren't the type to get into the kind of trouble that merited the involvement of the Military Police in Zion.

"Our prison is on one of the lower levels of Zion, under heavy guard. It is for those who have tried to commit crimes against others here or within the fleet. The odds are good that Hawk will be sent there for what he's done," Morpheus answered.

"It's less than he deserves," snapped Trinity, just loud enough for the others at the table to hear. "After knowing what Cypher planned on doing and not telling anyone about it."

"Speaking of sir, I know this is an in opportune time but what are we going to do for an Operator?" Pixie, softly, asked.

Morpheus seemed to be about to answer but all conversation was cut off when the Councilors turned their attention back to the two parties at their respective tables. Both Pixie and Hawk stood, neither looking across the room at the other.

"In the light of the…uniqueness…of this situation, is there anything else either of you would like to add before we render a verdict?" one of the Councilors asked.

"I would," Hawk, quickly, stated. "I'm being unjustly accused here. The only crime I committed was not buying into Morpheus's whole prophesy garbage. Believing in something different is not a crime, is it? This whole thing is one big misunderstanding, that's all. Pixie and the others are just blowing it way out of proportion. Can't you see they're trying to turn me into some kind of scapegoat?"

Pixie knew she was going to have to say something now, despite the fact she didn't really want to say anything more than she already had. She felt she had said enough to keep her own character guilt free. With Hawk's little speech, and his attempt to sway any member of the Council onto his side, Pixie knew her hand had been forced. She was going to have to say something to counter Hawk.

"What any of us believe doesn't matter in this situation. I'm not sure it's a big deal that he doesn't believe like I believe. I openly admit that, when I started working on the Nebuchadnezzar, I was a skeptic just like Hawk. Unlike Hawk, though, I didn't grow fed up with the situation and try to sell out Zion to the Machines. What we believe or don't believe shouldn't be the question anyway, since not everyone believes the same thing. Actions only should be judged here and, Hawk, you're not acting like an innocent man. No innocent person would have done half the things you've done," Pixie stated, far more calmly than she would have suspected she was capable of.

Sighing, there was really nothing else for her to say. At least, there was nothing else Pixie could think of that she could say. Not one who was a big talker to begin with, this whole event had left the young woman tired and speechless.

"Given the information we have received from those gathered and those who have spoken before us earlier, we find the young man known as Hawk guilty for the crimes of treason of the highest order and for assault on a fellow crew member. For these crimes, he is to serve a life sentence in the stockades," the eldest Council member announced.

"You can't do this!" Hawk exclaimed, as the guards started to take him away.

Apparently, he was sticking by his claim of innocence. He had placed the blame for his crimes on the people he had perpetrated them on. Nothing was his fault and, in Pixie's mind, that was very typical Hawk.

"The rest of you are free to go. This trial is adjourned," one of the Councilmen stated.

Pixie got up, preparing to leave and meet Wheeler and her friends who'd been waiting for her outside the Council Chamber. Aisling had mentioned something about dinner and something else to take Pixie's mind off of the trial, no matter the outcome. It was her medical opinion that Pixie would need both a distraction and her friends in order to deal with her ordeal.

"Are you alright to go, Pix?" Trinity wanted to know, watching the young woman.

"I'll be ok. Wheeler and my friends are waiting for me outside," she, quietly, answered.

The enormity of what had just taken place had yet to sink in and its implications were still being processed. Aisling might have been right--- Not that Pixie was ever going to let her know that ---when she said that distractions were what she was going to need. If left to her own thoughts, Pixie was more than a little concerned about what could happen.

"You know where Neo and I are if you're looking for someone, right?" she questioned.

Pixie nodded slowly, not really willing to pay her elder crew members a visit. She wasn't sure what state she'd find them in and that was a situation she was looking to avoid entirely. Especially what happened with Sparks and Chian.

With a small wave, she made her way up the stairs and out of the Council Chamber. Pixie had hoped that she was going to feel better after the trial but that didn't seem to be the case. Instead, for some reason she couldn't understand, she felt like she'd just done something terribly wrong.