"Goodbye My Almost Lover"
Part 2.
Wilson had once told him about the term soul mates. Two people in the world destined to be each other's perfect match.
But Wilson was an idiot. Even if you were fortunate enough to find your other half, more times than not, circumstances would make it so that you would never be able to keep them…or even attain them in some cases.
The first time he had talked to her, he had felt something give from within him. Something shift and slide into place…like a puzzle piece that had been manipulated one way after another, before finally sinking home seamlessly into its rightful place.
But she deserved better than him, and he knew it. So he fought it, despite it being quite possibly the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.
Sometimes he wished that she wasn't so beautiful.
It hurt him. The previously unknown ache to touch what he realized a long time ago could never be his.
But soul mates, fairytales, happy endings…it was all bullshit. And they were living proof of that. Because if any of it were true, she wouldn't be standing there saying goodbye…walking out of his life for good this time.
"Goodbye House."
He watched her with a sense of numbness as she turned around to walk away. His heart and mind dark with emptiness. But emptiness was good. Emptiness kept him from hopelessly calling after her and trying to convince her to stay. Emptiness allowed him to let her leave…exactly what he knew she needed to do.
He didn't want to stand there and watch her leave, taking a gaping piece of him along with her. But he couldn't seem to get that message through to his legs. So he stood there. He stood there and watched her walk away from his office.
But he couldn't exactly blame what he was feeling right now on her. He could have avoided all of this by not giving into that kiss. He thought that he had come to terms with the knowledge that he'd never have her. He had never really liked the idea, but he accepted it.
But that kiss had just completely thrown all of that progress out the window. If anything was ever going to reignite their connection, then that was certainly it.
He stood there with the taste of her still on his lips, and he knew that he would carry that taste with him for a long time. Sleep wasn't going to come easy, and when it finally did, the dreams would be that of torment.
He should have just pushed her away. He had made the mistake in believing that he couldn't possibly hurt more than he had when he had pushed her away all those years ago. But he had been wrong. For once in his life, he had been dead wrong.
He would be paying for this night for a long time, and he knew it. This wasn't going to be easy to get over…especially with the realization that he had never been quite as over her as he had lead himself to believe.
And now he knew he never would be. This wasn't the kind of thing that you just…got over. It didn't work that way. It was nice to think otherwise, but it just didn't.
Because pretty soon the numbness would wear off, and his brain would have to decide which emotion it wanted to turn on first in light of the events of the night.
And then the pain would begin, and he would have to deal with it. Again.
Alone.
And he would have no one to blame but himself.
He knew he had to move, do something. Go and see Wilson, who would give him some stupid reassuring words about how he would bounce back. That happiness is drawn in loops, going round and round again. It is a never-ending cycle…an annual that will bud in its own due time.
But once again he reminded himself that Wilson was an idiot.
Because not all buds bloom, and he certainly knew that not all stories have a happy ending.
Fin...
A/N: Well, there you have it. As you can probably see, I had a lot more trouble writing the part from House's perspective than I did Cameron's. I think that's because it's often very difficult writing romance/angst from House's perspective without it appearing to be OOC. It's a lot easier with Cameron because she's a lot more "open" about feelings and that so to speak.
Just to clear something up...Yes, the story's title is based on the song "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy. That, and the song "Beautiful" by Jennifer Paige really inspired this story. Both songs really connected well to House and Cameron I thought.
Thank you everyone who has read and reviewed this story. Your words mean the world to me.
:)
