Chapter Six: The Long Way Home
Olivia
She'd seen the tape. She'd seen it more than once. More than twice. More than three or even four times. She had seen it, studied it, watched it, rewound it and watched it again. She had looked for the photoshopping, the stitched scenes, trying, just trying to make the feeling go away. But it wouldn't. She knew it wouldn't. As she watched the tape again, the feeling remained, the giant hole punch through her chest remained, wide, gaping and painful. The sting of betrayal so great it had paralyzed her to the chair.
Peter was gone.
Those three words held such an impact on her she could barely breathe. Carefully she blinked, slowly at first, holding back tears as she thought. He was really gone now. There was a blue flash and he simply had disappeared. Her heart felt completely empty. There was this punch in her stomach, a pain in her lungs, like she tried to scream but couldn't. She felt like she was drowning and suffocating from lack of air, yet she was still alive. She wanted to breathe but couldn't. She could barely even see.
She reached for a whiskey glass but her fingers couldn't stop shaking. She stared at the amber liquid as it sloshed around the ice. Her fingers couldn't hold it still. It made her want to cry. He was gone. Gone. Gone for good. He was not coming back. It was like he had forgotten everything he had ever told her, everything he had ever said. He lied when he said he cared for her, he'd be there. She felt like a thousand tiny needles had been stabbed into her brain, leaking poisonous thoughts and lies.
She struggled to her feet and sucked in air painfully. A strangled sob came from her lips as she moved away from her office computer to the window. She idly wondered how he would like the other world. Would she really want to go after him? After all that he didn't do, all the promises he broke and lies he told, would he really want her to come after him? Would he even care if she did? The sky outside was bright and sunny, but she felt cold and abandoned, broken and hurt. She sighed loudly and quickly caught the tear on her cheek before turning back to her computer.
And she watched it again. She didn't want to believe it, she didn't want to believe he was gone. Her eyes strained for a lie in the image, anywhere, but it never came. Her heart ached. It was growing late and she stared at the screen, her green eyes so empty and broken. Did he know what he had done to her? Maybe it was in some way her fault, she pushed away the emotions she felt for him, shoved them away so dangerously and now that he was gone, without an ounce of remorse, she couldn't help but think maybe she let him go. She hung her head heavy in her hands.
Broyles had secretly called her sister after he had walked by her office that afternoon. The look on her face could break anyone in half. He knew what she was watching and secretly he knew she cared for him but he'd never admit it. But he was worried for her and so he called Rachel, telling her nothing about what happened but only that Olivia needed help, that she could fall apart. And she was.
So Rachel watched her from the door of her office, watching her sister sit still at her screen. She never moved the whole while, her eyes watching the screen. She hadn't even looked up to see her sister standing there. Rachel moved quietly to her sister, sitting down next to her.
"Liv?" she whispered to her sister. Olivia didn't move. Rachel had never seen her like this, so still and quiet. Slowly Olivia moved to look her sister in the eye.
She tried to quickly wipe her tears, to quickly compose her face, but she just couldn't. Olivia stared hopelessly up at her sister. She didn't need to see her this way. She didn't need to see her hurting.
"I'm fine," she whispered, soothing her hair with her hands and standing up. She moved away. Rachel didn't answer her.
"I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Rachel remained quiet, as did Olivia. Olivia looked out the window again, staring into space. Her eyes were steadying, but she could feel them beginning to water. She was strong, so strong but she just-
"Rachel, he's gone."
"I know."
"I'm so scared."
"I know."
"I'm so confused-"
"I know."
"Rach-"
"Shh," her sister soothed, tucking Olivia in a hug. Olivia buried her face in her sister's shoulder, the tears so close. She needed this comfort and yet she didn't want to it. She was the strong one, but she was falling apart. She needed her pillar, she needed Peter.
"He's not coming back," she whispered, looking at the ground. Rachel pressed her palm to Olivia's cheek and forced her eyes up to meet hers.
"Liv," she said, "He cared about you. You know? He really did. You're just going to let him go-"
"He chose this," Olivia whispered in a scared voice, "He chose this."
"Nobody chooses this. Liv you're lost, this isn't you. You're going to go after him. You have to go after him. Don't let him do this to you. You're falling apart right now. You can't spend your life in this pity party constantly. You need to realize he cares. He cares about you. You have to go get him0"
"He's not coming back," Olivia whispered, "Ever."
"You have to go get him. You have to show him that no matter what you're going to be there. He'll realize that this isn't what he chose. He needs you Olivia. You need him as well."
Olivia gave a shaky smile to her sister before turning her back to her. Perhaps subconsciously she already knew that she would go after Peter. Perhaps she had known that she needed him and that he needed her. She just needed to know it wasn't just her, that they really did need each other.
So that was it. She was going to go after him, just like that.
