It was chaos as usual the next morning. After breakfast, the cast assembled for the day's schedule.
"Ok, today we are going from the classroom scene before 'Something Bad' through to the part when Elphaba puts a spell on everyone except Fiyero. Now to begin, I need the students, Galinda, Elphaba and Dr. Dillamond." They went on stage. "Ok. Get on the benches. Wait . . . WHERE'S MY BLACKBOARD??!!" The author stormed angrily backstage. "WELL? DID YA HEAR ME?" The stagehands looked around nervously.
"It . . . well . . . uh . . . " they began.
"WHAT?"
"It hasn't arrived yet . . . "
"WHAT D'YOU MEAN it hasn't arrived yet? I thought you were making it!"
"We were, but then someone messed it up by writing, 'Animals should be seen and not heard' on it," Winifred said.
"IT'S SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT YOU BLUNDERING IDIOTS!!!" the author roared, "GET ME IT AND THEN GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!"
"Abusive," Winifred whispered to Foremole as they rolled out the board. The scene was O.K.... except Slagar didn't know his lines, so he started quoting Shakespeare.
"Uh . . . To be or not to be? That is the question," he said theatrically when he forgot a line.
"What was that, Slagar?" the author said, confused.
"Um . . . I don't know . . . " he said embarrassedly.
"That wasn't the line . . . " the author said with her eyebrow raised.
"I know that," he said. The students giggled. When he came to the next line, he hesitated and then said, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose would smell as . . . "
"Slagar! What are you doing?" the author said, annoyed.
"I don't know the line . . . " he said.
"Well you need to learn them," the author said as sweetly as possible.
"I know, I know, it's just, I kinda forgot what part I had at first, then, I forgot to practice, and then I lost my script, and then . . . "
"I DON'T CARE! Now here's a script and you are Dr. Dillamond. Remember that," the author handed him a script. The song, however did not go well at all. Slagar, who didn't know the words, started singing 'Breaking Free' instead.
"We're breaking free! We're soaring, we're flying, there's not a star in . . . " he pretended to sing into a microphone and danced around while Rose stood there staring at him.
"What the *beep* are doing Slagar?!"
"Singing . . . "
"Not the right song!"
"Oh . . . I knew that I was just testing you!" He looked confused. The author facepalmed.
"Next scene!" The scene opened with Boq desperately trying to gain Galinda's attention. It was very hard for the author not to giggle as she saw how annoyed Matthias looked. Cornflower, however, was hilarious as he ignored him (she seemed quite good at it) and got excited as Martin came in being pulled by Felldoh. Martin was surprised at how good Rose was at being mad at him and at how good he was at acting suave. Matthias, however as Cornflower went on got increasingly angry and annoyed.
"Author, is she flirting with him?" he asked angrily.
"Yes. Remember later it's a love triangle." Matthias glared at Martin.
"Stop fussing. It's called acting," Cornflower assured him.
"I know that!" he snapped.
"Don't be so snappy," Cornflower said soothingly. Matthias huffed offstage.
"Hey! Come back! Oh . . . oh well get on with it," the author gave up on trying to stop him. Martin started to sing. (Now I know he can't sing in Martin the Warrior but . . . uh . . . Rose gave him voice lessons . . . sure that's it . . . )
"Author do I have to dance?"
"Of course! The song's called 'Dancing Through Life'! Now DANCE!"
"Ugh . . . Ok . . . " he danced as well as he could.
"Nice Martin! Keep going!" the author encouraged him as the ensemble joined in on the dance. "Something's not right," the author said to herself scanning the stage. "The statue! STOP!!" she realized. "WHERE'S MY STATUE??!!"
"It's . . . uh . . . "
"HASN'T ARRIVED YET?!"
"No, it's over there . . . "
"Oh . . . Bring it on!" After the statue was on stage, the scene could go on. "I NEED BOQ!"
"I'll go get him," Cornflower said. After much negotiation, he came sulkily out.
"Now, get on stage and no more sulking!" the author scolded. He glumly got on stage. Lines were said. Tess made a face as Matthias pushed her offstage. But when Fiyero and Galinda had to sing together, that's when the chaos began. First, Matthias got mad and started sending Martin death threats from the wing. Rose was doing the same to Cornflower. When they came offstage, a fist fight resulted in one wing, whereas extremely murderous looks were sent in another.
"ROSE!!"
"Oh . . . sorry!" She rushed on sending one last ugly look to Cornflower. When Cornflower and her friends came on for the hat giving, there was no hat in the box.
"WHERE'S . . . MY . . . HAT???!!!" the author ran backstage to the props manager, Methuselah.
"Uh . . . I . . . don't really know . . . "
"WHADDA YA MEAN YA DON'T KNOW??"
"Well . . . it was here a second ago . . . let me see . . . " Methuselah dived into a pile of random items.
"Uggg . . . We'll just manage without it." Cornflower and Rose made their loathing really realistic as Cornflower smiled very, very superficially. Then the real chaos began. As the stage transformed into the Ozdust Ballroom, the ensemble came out dancing . . . if you could call it that. It was mostly tripping and flailing limbs about. Then Martin and Cornflower came out. Unfortunately, the script said they had to slow dance . . . and that was not about to go down well with all parties . . .
"WHAT?!" Martin and Rose and Matthias and Cornflower all yelled.
"Yes. Now . . . Matthias stop lunging at Martin! Put him down! Down! Now . . . c'mon guys! In theatre camp, I had to have a crush on this guy and now he goes to my school. Do you know how awkward that is? Now stop your bickering and go slow dance!" The 'romance' didn't look very realistic as Martin was too busy returning Matthias's dirty looks and Cornflower was too busy stopping him from attacking anybody. When it was time for Matthias and Tess to sing, it became . . . well . . . awkward. Matthias said his line.
"No! No! It's because . . . because . . . Because you are so . . . b. . . . beau . . . beaut . . . beau . . . " he stumbled on his words.
"BEAUTIFUL!! It's acting!!" the author yelled. Matthias rushed out the word 'beautiful'. Tess rushed through her solo, becoming more like a beet every second and making faces. "Man these people can't act," the author mumbled as they continued to make faces and Rose and Cornflower were having trouble being friends. The song ended. "Phew." The author wiped her brow. "Now everyone leave except Cornflower and Rose." A bed rolled on stage. "Where's Galinda's bed?" the author yelled backstage, trying to keep her patience. No answer. "I SAID WHERE'S GALINDA'S BED??" she thundered running blindly backstage.
"Uh . . . well . . . y'see . . . " they began.
"It hasn't arrived yet," Winifred finished.
"AGAIN?"
"Yes . . . "
"Ok then. Pretend, Cornflower, sorry." The two mice stared at each other. "Start the scene." It started off looking unreal, but as it went on it got better. Then the song began. Cornflower's mannerisms were perfect as she squealed in excitement during her song. Rose really looked as if she wasn't enjoying this makeover. The song ended with Cornflower looking into an imaginary mirror as Methuselah had failed to get one. "Good! Very nice! Work on the high-pitched ness. Now Classroom Scene!"
The next scene went well with the exception of Slagar. He was still quoting random plays.
"Upon this St. Crispian's Day!" he yelled as the officials dragged him off.
"What the . . . " the author thought. The special effects went horribly wrong. At the point when Elphaba puts the spell on everyone, half of the people forgot to start doubling up with pain. They stood there until the author roared, "YOU'RE IN PAIN STUPIDS!"
"But Martin isn't doing anything," Tim protested.
"He's not supposed to be! That's the point!" the author yelled face palming. "Now stop. That's quite enough for one day!"
