And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

T.S. Eliot


Teardrop on the fire,
fearless on my breath.
You're stumbling a little.

Teardrop by Massive Attack


My first day of job-hunting did not go well. It didn't help things that my head was still reeling with the strangeness and giddiness of really be touched, for the first time in five years. I was still trying to wrap my mind around it. But more so, I was burning it in to my memory. I would never forget it.

I'd never felt anything that good since…

Well, since I thought I was going to drown and then, somehow, miraculously, took in a breath of oxygen.

I shook those thoughts out of my head. The last thing I wanted to think about right now were the mysteries of that day.

I didn't want to think about questions because I wasn't looking for answers.

I was looking for solutions. And I understood the difference.

Unfortunately, there seemed to be no solutions to be had at the jobs I applied to on Monday afternoon. First off, most of the employers were not interviewing, so I had to fill out applications that I could only hope would see the sun at some point; I wouldn't even hope for human eyes. Secondly, my choices were severely limited. Fast food, cashiering, or anything that required handing things to people were not jobs any employer had ever given me. Obviously, that pattern had not changed even though so many things had since arriving in Washington. And thirdly, again, was my distracted state. Not a very good impression on top of everything else.

Even though the first half of my Monday ended up turning out phenomenal, the second half did not end so well.

I went to sleep that night in an agitated state, and ended up having my normal fretful dreams. Except they weren't normal at all anymore. My regular reoccurring nightmare had varied every night since that first day of classes, when I met Mike and Alice.

This night, Edward varied my nightmare. This didn't surprise me.

In my dream, I started off by speaking to Mike. I told him about my day as we sat in chairs facing each other. He was listening carefully when all the sudden his eyes got wide with horror. "Bella, we gotta go!" he gasped.

I realized he was looking behind me and I turned. Alice stood there, her hands behind her back, smiling sweetly. Her neck was stained red, deep gashes pouring blood all over her clothes. She just kept smiling at me, seemingly oblivious. Or perhaps all too aware.

I gaped in horror, turning back to Mike. "It's got to be a misunderstanding," I told him, convinced this was the answer.

He shook his head. "Well if we're not going to run," he scowled, "at least give me your gloves. You may be safe, but I'm not."

"What are you talking about? Oh whatever. Here." I went to pull off my gloves, but they weren't there. I looked around, surprised. I'd just had them a minute ago.

"Do you already have them?" I asked confusedly, looking up, but Mike was gone. I turned around. So was Alice. But I was suddenly looking into a dark forest. There was black rock beneath me. Sounds of ocean crashed far behind me, below me. I was back on the cliff face.

I suddenly noticed Edward standing a few feet away, leaning against a tree. He was smirking, swinging my gloves tauntingly in one of his hands, the other arm crossed over his chest nonchalantly.

"Looking for these?" he smirked.

"Yeah. Well not me so much, but my friend…"

He raised an eyebrow. "The friend you want to sleep with?"

I blushed, embarrassed that he knew this. I suddenly felt wrong about ever considering it. "Er, not anymore. We're just friends."

"What changed your mind?" he murmured, the gloating smirk erased from his face. His dark green eyes were glinting, intent, even though it was night out and I shouldn't have even been able to see. He pushed off the tree smoothly, coming closer. I gulped, stumbling back a bit, though I didn't know why. I wanted him near me.

"Um…" I was blushing furiously now. One of my feet hit the very edge of the cliff, a little bit of the rock crumbling and falling away. I hastily pulled my foot back. "I just…didn't want him to be the one anymore."

"Tell me why," he commanded softly, only a foot away now. He held up my gloves, dangling them in front of me again. "Or I'll keep these."

"You can't!" I exclaimed, angry.

"Why not?"

"I need them," I said desperately. "They're the only way people will touch me."

"I'll touch you," he whispered. "I'll touch you without them. Is that not enough? Am I not enough? Consider carefully."

My response died in my throat as he began to lean in toward me. My eyes started to flutter closed until he stopped a couple inches from my face. His expression was contorted with anger. "Why are you so special?" he demanded, eyes flashing.

I gaped, and took a step back. I stepped into thin air.

"Ahhh!" I screamed, my arms waving wildly, trying to balance myself. Edward suddenly looked apologetic, and his hand reached forward to grab me.

Mid-reach, he transformed. Into a figure that looked like only a shadow of a man. It wasn't even Edward, or his body even more. The hand grew gnarled, and thin, sharp claws unsheathed themselves. The hand landed on my shoulder, a cool breeze, and grew into ice that pushed me back hard. I was falling again.

I woke with a start, covered in a cold sweat, my blanket tangled around me and not even covering most of my body anyway. I stared at my shadowy ceiling, but it was comforting. Deep blue, light blacks, and greys comprised the shadows. Not like the shadow-monster in my dream, which was pure pitch. Still feeling shaken for some reason, I got up and went to this floor's community bathroom, taking a cup with me. I went to the sink and filled it up with water, drinking it down with trembling hands. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand when I was done, and made my way back to my room. When I shut the door behind me, I looked up and jumped when I saw a shadow in my window. My throat closed around a scream. I blinked and when I opened my eyes again, I realized that it was actually nothing notable at all.

My imagination was getting out of control. It was night. There were shadows everywhere. And I was on the second floor. There's no way anybody could be outside my window. Oh, why couldn't I have woken up in the morning?

I still went and shut the blinds tightly before going back to bed, pulling the covers over my head and trying to find a less-jumpy purchase on sleep.

I woke up even more ill-rested than usual.

Blearily, I pulled on a long-sleeved shirt, jeans, and my gloves. I half expected them to be gone, and I shook my head in exasperation at myself. Before I pulled my glove on over my right hand, I stared at it, smiling slightly. I don't why I thought it might look different. The only difference was in my mind, in my heart. The memory made my hand tingle though, with anticipation for more. I wondered when I would next see Edward, whose last name was still a mystery to me. That sucked because it ruled out asking Mike or Angela if they had known him in Forks. I mean, Alice knew him, and that gave it a good possibility. But without a last name it would probably be fruitless in asking. I'd just ask Alice how she knew him the next time I saw her.

My Tuesday schedule was filled with my math course, Physics, and also my social sciences class. It was a demanding day for me because it was like having two math lessons, even though Physics was easier to me than my regular math course. But I still had to concentrate and work harder than I had to do for almost any of my other classes. Math had never been my greatest strength, though I didn't let that hold me back.

But as I had found out, to my immense excitement, Mike was excellent at math. He had quite a way with numbers. It wasn't too surprising - he did plan on going into a business field, preferably with a position that dealt with finances and stocks. It was a shame he didn't have my classes. But physics was too science-y for him, and of course my math course was much easier than his. Still, he had generously offered to help me with it. I'd probably be taking him up on that today. I needed to get all my homework done during the week so I didn't have to worry about it this weekend.

The classes were more taxing today than usual. My mind kept wandering to Edward, and his lips against the skin of my hand. I frequently had to snap out of it and pay attention. It was easier in Physics - the professor was quite enthusiastic about the whole subject, loud and excited as he explained concepts and equations. His buoyancy kept my attention. Math Studies was far more dull. My hand took notes automatically; my mind wandered.

I was mentally and physically exhausted when lunch rolled around. I took a quick stroll around the cafeteria and assessed than neither Mike nor Angela had arrived yet. I guess it was up to me to find somewhere to sit. I got my food and went to the normal seat by the window that we - or they - had seemed to have established as our own - or their own - table. I still wasn't comfortable in including myself in a group with them. It was too soon, and my insecurities ran deep. I didn't want to assume anything.

It was only the beginning of the year after all. And statistical studies have shown that groups formed at the beginning of school years are usually completely dispersed by the end of that same year. I'd even seen it happen plenty of times.

I chewed my chicken fingers slowly, trying to concentrate on my food so firstly, I didn't look like a complete loner, two, I wouldn't be done eating way before the other two even showed up, and three, so I could beat back the fears that they wouldn't show up. Angela and Mike had already shown themselves to be good and loyal. Mike had even specifically invited me to this lunch. My fears were irrational.

The miraculous, sun-kissed blond in question plopped his tray down across from me only minutes later.

"Hey," he grinned. "Having a good day?"

I grimaced. "I wouldn't exaggerate," I said dryly, something I'd picked up from my dad. "How about you?"

"Obviously better than yours." He smirked, reminding me of my nightmare last night, except it was a very different person doing the smirking. "I had my math classes."

"So did I," I scowled. "I think we can tell who likes the subject more."

He laughed and I went on, heartened. I was finding I liked making people laugh. "Hey, do you remember when you offered to help me with my math?"

He nodded, digging into a burger.

"Well, I think I need to take you up on it. Are you free this afternoon? Or evening?"

He nodded, more enthusiastic. "I'm done around four, you?"

"Me too. Sorry, I wouldn't ask but I'm going to be busy this weekend, so I really need to get this done…How about we meet in the library around four-thirty then?"

"Yeah that sounds workable. You're busy this weekend?" He looked a little crestfallen.

"Erm, am I supposed to not be?" I asked nervously.

"I guess not, I was just thinking we could all go do something. You know, something fun. That thing I can't remember."

"It's only the second week," I pointed out, confused.

"Which makes it all the more sad."

"Is he complaining again?" Angela asked, setting her tray down next to Mike. "He never seems to shut that noise off."

I giggled at his expense, and at the glare he was giving her. Angela was looking triumphant. Mike looked down at his tray. "See if I ever invite you anywhere," he muttered.

Her face tightened and she opened her mouth to say something but stopped. She just shook her head instead, digging into her food.

A few minutes later, and I was curiously watching as Mike opened his mouth to speak and then immediately closed it, repeatedly; indecisive.

"What is it?" I asked, making the choice for him.

His mouth twisted. "Nothing. Just…wondered how your lunch went yesterday. We couldn't see you," he said, pointing at the large buffet blocking the sight of most of the other side of the room. "Not that we would've tried," he added hastily.

Angela rolled her eyes. "I don't understand why you keep saying 'we' Mike. I don't spy on people."

"You used to spy on Ben," he countered immediately, and Angela looked down hastily, her full lips pulling down in a frown.

Mike looked like he wished he hadn't spoken. "Sorry," he apologized hastily. "I wasn't thinking."

He went back to his food in silence.

I was dying with curiosity, but I was used to having to suppress it. Besides, it didn't look like a good thing to question.

Angela looked up at me and seemed to read the questions anyway. She answered without me having to ask. "Ben is my ex-boyfriend," she explained. "We went out in junior and most of senior year, but then we broke up." She frowned, more sad this time, and pushed her food around instead of eating it. "He cheated on me with this girl a couple counties over," she went on. "Apparently, they had way more in common. What makes it worse is that he's actually a nice guy. It would've been easier to accept if he had at least been a jerk."

"Actually," Mike countered, "What made it worse is that he was this nerdy little loser who should've been kissing your feet, and thanking the gods that someone as awesome as you would ever lower yourself to his level at all."

We both stared at him.

"That was almost a compliment," Angela snapped.

Mike looked terribly confused. "What?" he asked, hurt.

"You never get it," she muttered.

I didn't bother explaining it to him either; I wasn't quite sure how to word it in a way he'd understand.

It wasn't long after that Angela left, muttering about not being late to class. I think she just wanted to get away. Mike looked after her guiltily.

"I don't understand," he sighed.

I wanted to pat his hand comfortingly but figured that wouldn't work. Except…I had had a theory that if one person would touch me, that would somehow fix me. No time like the present to try. My hand was still in my glove, so if it was going to work at all, it would definitely work like this. I reached forward slowly to pat his hand.

His hand casually slipped off the table, and I hastily veered off to grab the napkin dispenser, acting like that had been my course of action.

I sighed. I was still messed up.

"I think you just need to learn how to word things more…delicately," I advised him instead. Maybe I could at least comfort him with words. "You know. Just try to approach it with more sensitivity."

He wrinkled his nose. "Could you make me feel more like a chick?" he asked.

It was my turn to frown. "Being sensitive is not a girly thing. It's actually quite tactful. And if you really want to pursue a business career successfully you're going to need a whole lot of tact."

He put his head in one hand moodily as he munched on fries.

After lunch, I went to the rest of my classes, my head always turning and searching in the halls for either Alice or Edward. I found neither though, to my disappointment.

When I arrived at the library, I found that I ran into Angela instead of Mike. She was perusing the encyclopedias, and jumped a bit as I passed her.

"Hey," I said, stopping. "Are you…um, feeling better?"

She nodded, smiling gratefully. "Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm usually much nicer." She grinned a little guiltily, and I wondered if she thought that she made a bad impression on me.

"Oh no! It was totally deserved."

She relaxed. "So, what're you here for?"

"Uh…" I didn't know if bringing Mike up was such a good idea, but she said she felt better. "I was meeting Mike here so he could help me with my math. I usually suck at it. Do you, er, want to come?" I felt like it would be rude if I didn't at least try to invite her.

She snorted indelicately. "Yeah, because I really want to be around him. I shudder at what other niceties he'd say to try to apologize."

"Well," I said carefully. "He's not the most sensitive, but he had good intentions."

She looked a bit uncomfortable. "I guess," she sighed. "I don't normally mind, it's just that Ben is still kind of a…sensitive subject for me."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's understandable. But you know, Mike was kind of right. Any guy that doesn't realize how amazing you are didn't deserve you in the first place."

She blushed. "Thanks Bella," she smiled shyly. "You're really sweet. Now go learn something. I don't want you luring Mike over here," she joked.

Laughing, I departed for a surprisingly grueling study session. Huh. Who knew Mike could be so serious.

~*~

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. I didn't see Alice or Edward though I looked for them frequently. Edward didn't appear to have any more of my classes. That was confirmed when Psych finally ended on Friday, and I departed immediately after towards my truck, feeling simultaneously disappointed and giddy. Giddy because at least it was the weekend, and I would get to see my dad again and actually spend the night at somebody's house. And if nothing else, I would see Edward on Monday.

I wondered though, as I often had that week, if Edward really wanted to see me again. He'd said he did. When I recalled the memory, it felt sincere. But since I hadn't seen him at all since, it left a lot of time for doubt to creep up.

But there was no time for those thoughts. I had a drive to make. I'd already called my dad earlier in the week, and he had managed to wrangle getting Friday and Saturday morning off. I didn't think it would be so hard anyway; all my dad did was work, mostly to fill up his time. There was no way the police force wouldn't give him a break now and then when he so rarely took one. I think they had to shove him out of the station most days.

It was a very long, exhausting drive, especially given the fact that my truck did not exceed fifty miles per hour. Now, I was no speed demon, but I could at least respect the need to keep up with the flow of traffic. Which I most certainly could not.

I didn't feel ungrateful for my truck, since it had been given to me free of charge, but I did have other problems with it. The first one being that it reminded me most painfully of Jacob, my once good friend. I have no idea what the hell happened between him and I. That was another one of the mysteries. And since I'd never been back before, I'd never had the chance to reconcile it.

I was hoping to perhaps see him again on this visit. If I had the nerve. Which I probably didn't.

My other issue with the truck came up about three-fourths into the drive to Forks. The engine started making these strange whining noises. Noises that worried me to death. The last thing I needed was for the thing to break down. This thing had to be fifty years old. Repairs would not come cheap, and as I was having trouble finding employment on top of everything else…

I kept patting the steering wheel nervously and keeping my toes crossed. It was with great relief that I finally whined my way to a stop in front of my dad's house in the early afternoon, tense from my nerves, but relaxing now that I knew I'd made it in one piece. I worried for the trip home though.

Charlie came out and greeted me heartily. I was wearing a turtleneck, and I had pulled my hair back with my snowcap, so he rewarded me with a loose hug. I breathed in deeply, drinking the brief contact in while it lasted. My dad smelled like smoky wood. It smelled homey. It smelled good.

He pulled back and led the way into the house. "I heard you coming," he responded. "The truck isn't sounding too good," he added worriedly; guiltily.

"It just started sounding like that on the last leg of the trip," I reassured him. "I don't think long distances do much good for it. Maybe it just needs to rest."

"Yeah." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as we stood in the hall.

"I'm just gonna…go drop my bag off upstairs, alright?" I confirmed, holding up my overnight bag as proof of sorts.

He nodded, grateful for the idea, and I rushed upstairs, going to the familiar room that had always been, and would probably forever be, mine. I dropped the bag on the neatly made baby blue quilt, and curiously ran my finger across the nightstand. I was surprised and felt a bit odd when I discovered that Charlie obviously kept this room clean and dusted.

I made my way slowly back down, noting my school pictures that lined the wall up the stairs. I groaned with embarrassment.

I found Charlie sitting in the kitchen, tapping his fingers on the counter mindlessly. He jumped up when he saw me.

"Are you thirsty?" he asked, walking and getting a cup out.

"Yeah, thanks." There was no point in saying otherwise. He was already getting me a glass of water. I knew Charlie never had any idea what to do to entertain me whenever I was here - that had obviously not changed - and so did whatever he could think of. That was mostly just making sure I was taken care of.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him. "I could make some lunch."

"Oh you don't have to do that," he blushed. Guess who I got it from. "I could order something, whatever you're in the mood for…"

"I'm kinda in the mood for some cooking," I said brightly. I knew he never ate home-cooked meals. He couldn't cook to save his life. He could probably cook to burn down his house though.

"If you want," he said, and though I knew he felt bad he also felt grateful. He sat down at the table as I browsed through his - pitiful - stock of food. "How was your week?"

"It was pretty good," I told him. "I met someone new again."

"Really?" he asked, interested. "What's her name?"

I didn't miss the specific pronoun.

"Actually, a he. His name is Edward." I was going to ask Alice, but maybe Charlie would know too. "Did you ever know anyone here named that?"

"What's the last name?" he asked.

"I don't know yet. We only just met."

"Hm. I don't recall ever hearing of one here. But I'm not the hear-all, know-all either. This may be a small town Bells, but it's misleading to think that everybody knows everybody else. Most of the kids don't even know who I am, and I don't know who they are. Which is good, because it means they've never done anything the police had to interfere with."

"Be thankful for that," I muttered in agreement, but my heart sunk in disappointment. Edward was a complete mystery. I had honestly thought that I might get some information on him at some point.

Alice had given me her phone number, but I hadn't had the nerve to call it. I didn't know what to say.

I managed to scavenge up enough supplies for some grilled cheese sandwiches - it was the best I could do - and we ate in companionable sentence. I'd ended up having to take my gloves off, but it didn't matter - Charlie wasn't a very touchy guy even under normal circumstances. He would normally touch my shoulder or something when he did anyway, not my hands.

"Would you like to watch TV?" he asked gruffly after the meal, and many thanks on his part.

I shrugged. "Sure."

And then he was sitting on the couch and I was sitting in the chair, staring at the screen and not the actual show.

This was far too familiar.

I shifted a lot and blocked my mind off.

We didn't talk much the rest of the day, more or less just hung out together, and I was forced to let him order a pizza for dinner since there was absolutely nothing to make in the kitchen.

That night, I sat in my rocking chair, staring out the window. Clouds drifted ominously over the moon, the silvery-grey light casting the shadows of the tree in the front yard darker. A light wind blew and rattled. The shadows seemed to come alive. My nightmare from Monday had replayed every night, with very little variation. The one thing that I wished would vary didn't. The shadow-monster still reached its gnarled hand to push me off the cliff every time. Sometimes its claws would sink into my skin - possibly the only touch in the world I would rather not have. And once, it grew glowing red, evil eyes that scorched themselves into my own, even when I opened them up. I had at the beginning of the week been grateful that the burning-people aspect of my dreams had all but disappeared, thanks to Edward having touched me with no apparent physical detriment. Too bad they'd been replaced with something just as bad.

I eventually went to sleep when I could no longer stay awake. To my relief, the shadow-figure didn't appear. It was just Edward, pulling me back onto solid land. He leaned in afterward and I thought for sure he was going to kiss me, but he put his lips near my ear instead - not touching, but close enough to have me silently pleading for it. "Leave this place," he whispered. "You don't belong here."

"Seattle?" I whispered back, hurt.

He shook his head. "No, you belong there. With me. It's here you don't."

I got what he was saying. Forks. That's where this cliff was. Well…it was technically La Push, not Forks.

He gently took my hand again.

I awoke with my heart pounding, almost as hard as when the real thing happened. I swallowed, and tried to get my mind off it before I could long too much. At least I would be going over to Alice's later today. That was an encouraging, happy promise.

I washed up in the bathroom before I went downstairs, where I was surprised to find Charlie making eggs. He could make those.

"Hey kiddo," he said, smiling a crinkly-eyed smile at me that brought back his youth and made him look quite handsome. "Thought I'd make you something for once before you have to leave."

"Oh, thanks Dad. I really appreciate that," I told him sincerely.

The eggs were actually pretty good, and I went upstairs to take a shower before I left, so I didn't smell all wonky later in Seattle.

Charlie gave me another tentative hug outside my truck, which I was hoping fervently wouldn't sound like a death rattle when I started it.

"Be safe," he told me, a little anxiously.

I saluted him before I got in and started my truck. I groaned in dismay. It actually sounded a little worse. I dreaded the drive home.

"Hey Bella," Charlie said suddenly. "I have an idea. Do you remember Jacob? The kid down on the rez that you used to play with?" My heart clenched and I stared at the windshield. I nodded tightly. I hadn't worked up the courage to even attempt going down there. "I hear from Billy that he's a pretty good mechanic now. And since this used to be theirs…why don't you head down there and ask if he can take a look at it?"

"Dad," I moaned. "You can't just go down to someone's house and, first of all, expect them to be home, and then expect them to just get to work on your vehicle. Plus, I don't even remember how to get down there or where they live."

He held up one finger at me. "Give me a second," he said, and rushed back inside.

I actually had to give him quite a few. When he came back out, he was looking triumphant. He had an index card in his hand. I rolled down the window and he handed it to me. "That's directions to their house," he explained. "And I called down there. Billy said that Jacob is home and that he'd take a look at the engine for you."

I smiled gratefully at him, even if my stomach was clenching with nerves. "Right," I said hoarsely. "Well…I'll head down there then. If I can't get it fixed today, I'll call you. If I don't, assume it went well."

"Call me regardless," he said sternly, and I acquiesced without argument.

I drove slowly down to the Quileute reservation, frequently citing the directions in my hand. I knew I was at the right place when I pulled up in front of the little red shack. It had barely changed, except for becoming a bit more faded.

And then of course, there was the frowning, 6"5 teenage boy leaning against a post on the porch, his arms crossed. I immediately recognized him, though he was obviously not twelve anymore. The wide face, the hair in the ponytail, the black eyes - they were all the same. The muscular, heightened body, the lack of warmth in his eyes, and the missing wide smile were the biggest changes.

I could already tell this was a very different boy than I had once been friends with.

I got out of my truck hesitantly and walked toward him a bit. I stopped in front of the porch. "Hi," I said, gripping one of my arms with my other hand. "Remember me?"

"Yes," he said shortly. He walked down to porch, giving me a wide berth as he headed to my truck. I expected him to say something else, but he didn't.

I hurried behind him, though kept the distance. "You look real good Jake. You've gotten big."

"Don't call me that," he said harshly.

I took an automatic step back, shocked. "Big?" I asked, unsure.

"No. Jake. Like we're friends."

I furrowed my brow. "We used to be," I reminded him.

He lifted up the hood of my trunk, scowl deepening, refusing to look at me. "Yeah but it's all different now. Don't try to pretend like it's not."

I threw my hands up. I was sick of getting all this undeserved animosity. It was the second time this week. "Why is it different?" I demanded. If he wanted to skip the preliminaries and go straight to bringing up the past, fine. I could do that. "All I know is that you left me alone that day on the beach, no explanation, and now when I come back, years later, you're treating me like I'm some horrible person - "

"You are," he said simply, tinkering with something in the engine. There was no anger. He was simply stating a fact. "There's no way you can associate with…well, and not be."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I seethed, unable to refrain from the curse. I was too frustrated, too confused, too upset.

"You know," he said, still in that now-calm voice. He finally looked at me. "Why do think nobody wants to touch you?"

I gasped. "I - you - " My voice was strangled. "You know that…why…people won't…?" I shook my head. "You're wrong," I said defiantly. "People do touch me." 'People' was a broad overstatement, but he didn't need to know that.

He sneered. He seemed to know I was exaggerating. "Yeah, I'm sure your people do. Listen, it's going to take me the better part of the afternoon to fix this for you. And the only reason I'm helping you at all is because I want you gone as soon as possible. But in the meantime, could you go somewhere else? I don't want to be around you."

My throat clenched with anger. "Fine," I snapped. "I'm going to have to say I don't want to be around you either." I cast around for somewhere to go. I didn't want to go back to Charlie's. "I'll be down at the beach. You know, the place where you abandoned me, after I almost drowned."

I turned on my heel and walked away, satisfied that I'd gotten in the last word. "Bella!" he called after me. I refused to turn around. "If you fall off the cliff again, try to get the job done right this time, will you?"

I froze, stock-still. Did he just say…? My eyes filled with tears. I couldn't believe it. No one had ever been so forwardly horrible to me as he'd just been. And that was saying something.

I choked back the tears and kept walking, trying to get his voice to leave my head. But that only made it worse as I made my way to the beach, still remembering the way. It had been such a different time the last time I'd walked this path. Such a better time. A tear fell down my face as I thought about it, before I hastily wiped it away.

There was no use crying over what was. I was doing my best right now, and that was all I could do.

Horrible person…who you associate with…your people…

What did that mean? Edward sprang to mind, the only person to have touched me. What did this mean about him? But how could I know if Jacob was even reliable or not? Nothing he'd said made any sense, and if he wasn't willing to elaborate...

My head swam, and Edward's voice suddenly filled my mind. Not really him, but words of his I recalled from my dream. Leave this place. You don't belong here.

This was all ridiculous. This was all completely and utterly ridiculous.

And then, on top of this already craptastic day, there was the cherry on top. I sighed as I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the number I'd been scared to call. I ended up getting the machine, but that was probably for the best.

"Hey Alice? It's me, Bella. I'm not in Seattle right now, and my transportation got a bit…stalled. So I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. I'm really sorry…maybe we can reschedule?" I wasn't very hopeful. "Anyway, I'll see you at school. Bye."

I hung up, sighing. I looked out at the grey waters. The sea was quite calm.

Yes. Things had drastically changed since the last time I was here.


First off, I just want to thank IslandWoman221 on Twilighted for starting a thread for this story over on the Twilighted boards! Thank you so much! If you guys want to go over there and chat, you can find this story under the Alternative Universe section of the forum. I'm really interested in what you guys would say with each other =] Some people have already started. I should also be occasionally posting teasers over there, specifically if the wait between chapters is longer than I wanted it to be, so I feel guilty.

Also, I don't know if you can tell yet, but I'm such a Mike fan girl. I think he gets totally gypped the majority of this time. I just see him as this sweet, quirky, normal guy. He tries, the poor thing X]

Furthermore, Jacob is coming off like the world's biggest asshole, right? Well, he has his reasons, just like everybody does. All will be revealed in time!

Review please, I do so strive and work hard for them. Writing is not as simple as it looks.

- The Romanticidal Edwardian