Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Oh so don't pay no mind
To my watering eyes
Must be something in the air
That I'm breathing
Yes'n I try to ignore
All this blood on the floor
It's just this heart on my sleeve that's a bleeding

Burn- Ray LaMontagne

Chapter Four

"Why would you do it?" She asks him when he's fully in her room. He ignores her, looks over her shoulder and studies the messy room, the sheets not completely on the bed, candy wrappers on the floor, bottles of soda on the nightstand.

"I don't know," he replies hoarsely, gripping her tightly, knowing that she seconds away from extracting herself from his arms.

She pushes him away harshly and he stumbles, catching himself on the door, "You're an asshole, you know that? A really selfish asshole. They were my memories, too, Justin! You had no right to take them away from me!"

"I didn't," he says softly, "I've just been—"

She narrows her eyes at him, crossing her arms over her chest, and she looks so much like their mother that it makes him nauseas, "Been what? Hiding them from me? Just where do you keep them Justin? Are they locked away in your dorm?" She scoffs and settles on the bed, wrapping her blanket around herself once more.

"I didn't hide them," he approaches the bed carefully, sitting on the edge of the double mattress, "I—I found a potion. That, I don't know, suppresses them. I used to put them in your drinks. They have to be administered twice a week…"

"How long?" She asks and he knows she doesn't care about the logistics of it.

He looks at her and sighs heavily; he never breaks his eye contact as he replies, "Three years."

She lets out a sob, covering her hand over her mouth before she rushes to the bathroom and throws up.

*****

The first time he kisses her, she's just a baby. He doesn't quite remember it, but he's been told the story so many times that it's ingrained in his mind. Their mother was holding Alex to her chest, marveling at her daughter when Justin climbed up on the couch, kissed the baby girl's head and said, "Mine."

The next time he remembers kissing her is when he's six and she's four. They're playing house in the Sub Station, Max watching them with rapt attention from the stroller Alex forced him into. Justin and Alex are husband and wife and he kisses her on the cheek when he comes home from work. It's sweet and adorable and the few customers (older couples that usually fill the station in the early afternoon) coo over the exchange.

He kisses her a handful of times over the next decade; innocent kisses on the cheek or forehead. And it's endearing because he's her big brother.

The first time he kisses her, she's fourteen and she's mocking him and his nerves over kissing Miranda for the first time. They're in the dark theater and his face is still sticky from the smoothie Harper just poured on him. Alex is looking down at him with that infuriating grin on her face, mumbling something about the do over spell and he's just so pissed and stressed and confused over the past few days that he pulls her down and kisses her hard. Effectively shutting her up and having his first kiss in one go.

He panics afterward after catching the look on her face, somewhere between disgust and content, so he takes her wand and wipes her memory.

It won't be the last time.

*****

He rubs her back comfortingly in the bathroom, keeping her hair out of her face as she vomits once more. She cries and rests her head on the toilet seat, he wants to say something about germs and being sanitary but he figures it isn't the time, so he just keeps his hand on her back.

When she's done throwing up, she flushes the toilet, brushes her teeth quickly and wipes her mouth off on her sleeve. He waits for her on the bed and closely observes her every move. She lingers in the bathroom, picking up the towels and clothes that are scattered on the cold tile floor.

She glances at him from the corner of eye and he holds back a sigh of relief, he knows she's about to relent. Knows that she's almost ready to talk to him, maybe even forgive him.

She walks slowly to the bed, her every step seemingly heavy, he knows the feeling; he just experienced it before walking through the hotel room door moments earlier.

"Alex," he says gently, raises a hand to touch her arm but she shrugs him off and sits on the opposite side of the bed.

"Why would you do it, Justin?"

He sighs and studies his hands, "I was trying to protect you."

She rolls her eyes, but it's halfhearted at best, "You can't always protect me, Justin. You can't," she pauses and frowns, "You can't take things away from me, especially when I want them."

His stomach drops, he knew that she wanted this, wanted him, and wanted them. But he's never heard her say it out loud. It's unsettling how blissful the words make him feel and his stomach drops again. He's such a sick bastard. "I didn't have a choice, Alex. I couldn't…"

Her face settles into a deep scowl, "Couldn't have me be happy? God, Justin. After years of watching me go after guys and have my heart broken, you do this? You take away the one thing I want."

He's growing tired of this conversation, they've had it before, a few months before, but he was quick to slip her the potion, even had Max agreeing to administer it, "Dammit, Alex. You know that we can't. We've talked about this before."

She raises an eyebrow sardonically, "Really, Justin? Have we? Hmm, I can't seem to remember. I wonder why that is."

"Alex," he pleads, "Don't. Please. Look, just," he reaches into his pocket, reaching for the vial, he holds it out, offering the blue liquid to her, "Take some, please? It's better if you just forget."

She hesitates, glances back and forth between him and the potion in his hand, finally she reaches for it, tracing his palm gently before gripping the vial, "Does it tasted bad?"

He nods, swallowing hard, he clears his throat before answering, "Yeah, mix it in with some water."

"Come with me," she says gently.

He follows her into the bathroom and watches as she pours the liquid down the sink.


A/N: See, I told you. There is a plot. Lol. Thank you for all your reviews, let me know what you think of this chapter!