Disclaimer: Don't own it.
A tear in the membrane
Allows the voices in
They wanna push you off the path
With little frequency wiring
But you can do no wrong
In my eyes
A drunken salesman
You're hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you're getting better
But you don't feel any better
Hearing Damage-Thom Yorke
Chapter Nine(Justin)
He swears he's turned into some goddamn country song cliché. Drinking his sorrows away in some seedy bar, rambling to the person on the stool next to him about the woman he loves. All he's missing is a pickup truck.
He stares down at his drink, vodka. Alcohol warms him. When he's swallowing it and the heat from it his spreading through his body he almost feels like he's in her arms again. Warm. Safe. Loved. The alcohol doesn't provide him with safety or love but the heat of it, it's comforting. He'll take that for now.
He downs the rest of his drink, his throat burning and he clenches his eyes shut. The guy next to him chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. Justin ignores him. He feels like shit. And he rather feel like shit in this bar surrounded by people he doesn't know than to be cooped up in his dorm feeling like an asshole.
God, he misses her. He misses her smile, her laugh, her voice, her hair, her eyes, her smell, her mouth…
The list is never ending.
He misses her so much he's resorted to using magic for unsavory things, like making fake IDs to get into bars and drink until he's thrown out and left puking in the street. He hasn't gone to class in a week. Doesn't do much of anything anymore. Eats greasy food and drags his sorry ass to the bar every night. Drinking himself into a stupor. It's the only thing that allows him to sleep peacefully. The only thing that keeps the memories at bay.
*****
The first time she moans in his ear he almost comes in his pants. But it's so soft and sounds so fucking good. He closes his eyes at the sound, memorizes it and cups her breast again, his thumb brushing her nipple once more. Her nipple hardens at the movement and she moans again.
He works her shirt over her head and struggles with her bra. She giggles lightly at him, her cheeks red and eyes bright, it's the happiest he's seen her in a while, she reaches around and unclasps her bra for him. The straps sliding down her shoulders and he hesitantly reaches forward to pull the fabric down.
His breath catches at the sight of her bare breasts. He's always known she's beautiful. But like this, laying in his bed, her hair strewn across his pillow and her eyes dark with desire, cheeks flushed with excitement and her bare torso exposed to him; she's fucking perfect.
*****
Her calls are the worst. Listening to her remember their times together. Her voice full of longing and sadness, it breaks him. It kills him to hear her in pain. And he's the one that's done it to her. He was supposed to be the one person to never hurt her, never do her wrong. And now here he is, breaking her heart when he was only supposed to be breaking his.
He chucks his phone across the room (whatever damage is done he can repair later with his wand) and sinks to the ground. He tugs at his hair, groaning in frustration. He wishes he could take everything back. His hugs, caresses, kisses, the whispered declarations of love in her ear…
But the thought of never having those things makes his heart sink and his stomach clench.
He brushes away his tears before they fall and picks himself up from the floor. He grabs his wallet and keys and heads off to numb himself for another night.
*****
The day Alex trades brains with Harper is absolute torture.
He panics for a second when he catches sight of her smile, the smile that is only directed toward him when they are alone, when they are together. He wracks his brain, trying to remember the last time he gave her the potion.
Between that and Daphne he's tense all night. Worrying about his new "girlfriend" and trying to think of ways to get rid of her is bad enough. And then Alex had to waltz in, looking at him like that. He scrubs a hand over his face and sighs heavily, pacing around his room. He checks his watch. Daphne would be here soon and he needs to get his shit together and calm down.
He sits at the counter, thousands of thoughts filling his head. When did he last give her the potion? It was at breakfast, wasn't it? He thought he put it into her orange choice before they left for school. He could be wrong…
Next thing, Alex is pulling him and he can't stop the panic that flashes across his face. When she whispers, "I have two brains inside my head," he has to tell himself to calm the fuck down and then feels like an asshole for being so happy about his sister's predicament.
He's relieved when she tells him to talk to Harper's brain as proof for her story. And yeah, when he says hi to Harper he knows she's telling the truth, knows that he's off the hook for another day.
Later that night after Daphne leaves and everything is resolved with Harper and her brain is back in her head where it's supposed to be, he sits next to Alex in the lair. A book in his lap and sketchbook in hers. They're quiet, both lost in their activities.
He hears her gasp and watches as her drawings fall out of her lap and flutter to the floor. Her arm is wrapped around her torso and she's breathing heavily and in that moment, with her brown eyes filling with tears, he knows he's fucked. Knows it's only a matter of time.
He lowers himself to the floor, kneeling in front of her and helping her breathe through the pain. "Shh," he whispers to her, brushing his lips across her forehead, "It's okay, Alex."
He's such a goddamn liar.
*****
He's drunk off his ass when the man approaches him. But Justin can tell something is different about him the moment he sits down.
He listens to Justin's drunken ramblings all night, nodding when necessary and buying Justin more drinks when he begins to sober up.
When Justin's done, when he's poured his heart out to this man, the stranger raises an eyebrow and offers Justin a way to escape everything.
And Justin takes it.
A/N: I am so unbelievably sorry for the delay! I'm going to try to get back on my normal posting schedule. Thank you for all your reviews. I love reading them and look forward to reading some more. Please leave one!
