Chapter Four
Pamela was getting frustrated making all these calls. No one was available to come and sing at Fangtasia. She was on hold with the last agent for what seemed like hours. Eric's list of performers was getting smaller by the minute. This whole surprise for Sookie depended on her being able to get what her master wanted. He would not be pleased with the results so far. She didn't really understand his desire to please Sookie. Being his bonded should be enough. Why complicate things even more?
"Humans and their silly emotions." She thought. So lucky to be a vampire and not have all the baggage that they carried around. Life should be simple, eat, sleep and screw. This was the way it was for years. This whole thing was making Eric so moody lately. She wished he would just take a human and get all the pent up frustration out already. But he didn't. That was peculiar to her, he did not crave his regular women and the numerous times a day he took them. She wondered if he realized that he had only been with Sookie.
Since the bonding took place everything was changing. She herself was feeling protective of Sookie. She did not want these feelings. They only resulted in weakness. It was not something she could afford. Yet her Master wanted this human. Pam knew she would always protect Sookie, her own life depended on it. She knew her master loved her, but if anything happened to his bonded, she was not so sure she herself would survive his wrath. The strange thing was that there was a difference in being obligated to protect Sookie and wanting to protect her. Pam wanted to be around Sookie and make sure that she was okay. There were moments when this seriously pissed her off. She has thought that she would be done caring for humans.
Eric was a good master. She remembered the night she met him. She was eager to be turned, to start a new life. The one she had was slowly suffocating her. She would rather die quickly that be stuck in the time she was born in. She could not understand how women kept their sexuality bottled up for the sake of men. She wanted to screw whoever she pleased, as often as she wanted, and with whomever she wanted. She tenjoyed men, but she also craved the pleasure of women. This was not acceptable for women of her time. It did happen, but it was discreet. She laughed to herself at how daft men could be sometimes. If only they realized what really happened at the tea parties. They were basically days of orgies with one another under the pretense of ladies getting together and doing socially acceptable things. How she loved those days. She felt herself get wet thinking of all those beautiful bodies entwined. It was a sight to see. Upper class ladies in positions that were so unladylike. She laughed softly to herself.
She knew she drove her parents and family crazy. She wanted to be free but there was no freedom to be had for a lady back then. There were no rights for women. They were pieces of property. The upper class women had luxurious lives to the outside world, but they were still slaves to their husbands. They did not have a choice when it came to sex and their bodies. There was no choice to have children or not. So like Pam some of these women rebelled. Pam's early lovers were all women. Soft, and sensuous, delicious women. She thought of how she loved women as a human. It did not compare to how she now loved them as a vampire. The sex now was enhanced by the fact that she could taste them even more. The first taste of blood from a woman who willingly gave it was never forgotten.
She believe that is how women survived over the years and in her opinion became the stronger of the sexes. Women endured because they shared and sacrificed for each other. She used men for her meals, some for sex when the feeling overtook her. Women were for her pleasure alone. They were divine.
She felt a twinge of sadness as she thought of the beautiful brunette who had given herself to Pam so completely. She thought of her often over the years and wished sometimes that she had turned her. Her name was Rafaella. Pam had met her in Italy. Her family was gone, she was alone, and she was dying. Pam knew it the minute she met her that Rafaella was sick. They spent many nights together talking and laughing. Pam and Rafaella eventually became lovers as time passed, although time was not something they had a lot of. Pam had revealed what she was to Rafaella, who was not afraid. Death came in all forms, but it came none the less. She told Pam that she would like to choose her death rather than it choose for her. Pam wanted to turn Rafaella and for them to be together forever. Rafaella would not hear of it, she was tired and worn out and just wanted to rest. She asked Pam to take her life one night in the midst of their lovemaking, to release her from this life while she was still strong. She did not want to wither away from disease.
" Pamela, take me while I am beautiful and vibrant." Rafaella said. "Don't wait until I feel no pride in how I look, until this sickness overtakes me and leaves just a shell. Make love to me and drink from me until I am no more. Please give me this, to die in grace, to know I am giving my life to you, to sustain you. Give me Peace."
Pam remembered it as though it was yesterday. She has done what was asked of her. She had taken the life of her beautiful Rafaella. It was a perfect night, they laughed and loved. Rafaella told Pam she had no regrets and for her not to have any either. It was the first time she has taken a woman's life. Pam suffered for years after. Always wondering if she should have turned her against her will. Eric had comforted her by telling her that it would have been far worse had she done exactly that. Freedom and the right to choose were the most crucial things to any being, human or supernatural.
Pam sometimes felt a part of her had died with Rafaella's last breath. To this day there was no other who had made Pam feel her lost humanity. Sookie came close at times, but Pam always pushed any feeling aside. She was a vampire and there was no room for emotions. She was devoted to Sookie for her master's sake, not for her own.
Eric had been her chance to get out. She took what he offered with such excitement that it even surprised him. Pam explained that if she was to be anyone's slave it would be her choice. She would not be given away in marriage to a man her parents deemed worthy. She would not be a slave to a man who would not respect her intelligence. She refused to live this life and had already thought of ways to end it or escape it. She was making plans with her lover the night that Eric turned her. Although she loved women and preferred them, she was smart enough to know to get far in her life she would need a man. That was the way it was in her time. She would have her pleasure and fill of women on the side in secret, but to the outside world she would be like every other lady.
Her parents had caught wind of the man she was seeing. They put an end to it but she managed to evade everyone that night and crept silently out of the house. She thought she was going to be in the arms the man who would take her away. Instead she ran right into Eric who was watching and waiting for her. She remembered how fearless she was, how she put all her trust in him. He could have easily drained her and not tuned her. She knew Eric needed her then as much as she needed him.
Crap. Eric and Sookie. She had to get back to work. Sookie would love what Eric had in store for her. Eric was crafty. The surprise for Sookie would be a public one. She thought he was just throwing a party for the vamps in his area. It was so much more than that.
She looked at the next name on her list. Picked up the phone and called the agent for Nickleback. They were just Eric's style.
She rolled her eyes as she was put on hold again. If only she could glamour through the phone.
