I've forgotten about you but I'm forgetting to update you. Here you go.

-Sin Is My Virtue


If someone told me I would have been better in days I would have punched them. One, I'm still in pain. Two, it's been a week.

I can't do anything right. After I got discharged from the hospital I went back the next day. Tsunade had to send me home because I didn't do anything but not work. I ignored patients' calls and hid in a janitor's closet. She called me after three days but I never picked up the phone. I couldn't go back to work in the condition I am.

My room was a mess. My hair hasn't been combed for a week. I haven't eaten in three days so I lost weight. If anyone saw me they would have screamed. But does anyone care? No, they're all too selfish. Nobody has come to visit me in days. The only reason Tsunade calls is the fact the hospital staff is short. I was being used all along.

Naruto…Tsunade…Sasuke…

They've been using me from the start. Nobody really cares about me. What is the sad fact? I really want to be used again. Too late for that now, I've screwed up everything.

I was in the bathroom right now. The water was pouring ice cold water on my bare back. I held my favorite toy. It was my best friend. It was a jagged piece of glass. For the past couple of days it's been helping me cope. It kisses my skin causing blood to trickle from its mark.

Right now my left arm is decorated with lines. The lines are pretty. They remind me I'm alive.

I was alone in my house. After my shower I put on a pair of black shorts and a white shirt. I sat in the corner of my room. That's all I do. I sit in the corner and wish for death to come faster. I can't stand being alive. I don't want to wake up when I sleep.

knock…

My eyes shot open. Who is it? Nobody comes to see me… Maybe they're checking in to see if I'm dead yet. Newsflash, I'm not dead…I think.

I walked downstairs slowly. Maybe it's Sasuke. Maybe he came to take me back. That's it. Sasuke realizes he loves me. He wants to start a family with me again. I've got a second chance.

Once I reach the door I opened it gradually. To my disappointment it was Kakashi. I leave the door open for him and make my way upstairs. What a waste of time, it wasn't Sasuke. How stupid am I? Sasuke doesn't want me back…I'm such an idiot.

I sit in my corner and close my eyes. After a few minutes I hear footsteps come closer.

"Sakura, open your eyes." says Kakashi.

My voice was weak. "I don't care to see the world anymore. Go away Kakashi. Let me die."

Footsteps come closer. I scoot into the corner more. I'm tempted to open my eyes so I do. I see Kakashi sitting in front of me.

"I won't let you die."

His voice is strong…it's promising. I sit up straighter. My ears perk up. "I have nothing left Kakashi."

He ignored what I said. His gaze lands up the artwork on my body. He takes my right arm and examines it.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

He continues to ignore me. He examines my whole exterior. He frowns at what he sees. I would too if I was my sensei. To see a student of your turn into this makes you feel as if you are at fault.

"Do I dishearten you?"

He disregards my words. "We have to get you to a hospital."

I hug my knees. "Tsunade will be there. I'm not going anywhere. In a couple of days I'll die anyway."

"Why are you thinking like this? Sakura, what happened to you?"

I shake my head. "Why do you care?"

Kakashi pulls me to him. This is a first between Kakashi and me. I have never been this close to Kakashi. I have never seen how beautiful he up-close.

"Kakashi," I whispered.

He had no chance. I felt his arms grew tense around me but I trapped him. I yanked down his mask and kissed him. His lips were soft against mine.

The kiss was gentle but Kakashi didn't move. I let go of him and Kakashi slowly pulls away. My head drops because I am ashamed. Kakashi doesn't touch me or say anything. He walks away without a word. I don't glance up.

"Why can't somebody love me?"

I gripped the glass. I was a savage. I nicked my skin over and over. I felt the blood gush out. This time I cut it too much. I didn't care. I had enough of the living world. I wanted to be taken away. I wanted to be in permanent darkness.

At that moment somebody rushes into my room. I didn't get to see the whole body clearly. My eyes were drooping.

"SAKURA!"

I smiled softly. "Here we go again."


When I woke up I wasn't surprised. I was in the hospital again. This time I was in the psych ward. I finally made it in here. Oh boy, I'm screwed.

At that moment Dr. Kevin walks in with a clipboard. He reads the data before looking at me. When he does look at me Dr. Kevin is shocked. I hug myself because I feel naked under his stare.

"Sakura," Dr. Kevin comes closer. "You're awake."

I nodded. "If I could cut faster I wouldn't be taking up this space for somebody who needs to be saved."

Dr. Kevin sits at the feet of the bed. "You're wrong Sakura. You need to be saved because the village needs you."

Now I was angry. It was all about the village again. "What about me? What about my needs?"

Dr. Kevin smiled. "I'm taking care of you. What more do you require?"

"I don't know."

Dr. Kevin stands up and get even closer. He pulls off the sheets to reveal me in a gown and my wrists wrapped. I grimaced. Why does it look this bad?

"You may not see the reason for your existence. In reality you are important in a lot of lives. Don't you see all these flower and cards? People want you to live." explained Dr. Kevin.

I hug myself tighter. My room was full of items.

"I want you to live." confessed Dr. Kevin.

Dr. Kevin stretches the sheet over me.

"Losing someone you love is hard. Have you thought of whose lives you were trying to remove yours from?"

I shook my head.

"A great amount of people Sakura."

I sighed. "How long will I be in here?"

"You will leave when it is fit to go."

I ran my fingers through my hair. "Let's reduce those years to three days."

Dr. Kevin grinned. "Let's make a bargain. It's either you stay here or you go back home with somebody watching you always."

I bit my lip. That was a tough decision. "I pick the latter."

"Then I'll be the one watching you."

I groaned. "I should have picked the first one."

Dr. Kevin scoffed. "I'm not old so I can still have fun."

My eyebrows rose. "How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-six years old. Two years older than you."

This time I really observed Dr. Kevin. He's skin is a healthy pale and his eyes are a piercing blue. His hair is plain black. Two contrasting colors make him look even more handsome. He's looks proper and mature.

"I'll sign your paper."

Dr. Kevin began to stand up but I held onto his arm.

"Don't leave me," I pleaded.

Dr. Kevin gazed at me. He sat back down. "Ok, I'll ring somebody up and we can go home."

I didn't know why I said that. Why did I pull his arm? Why didn't he leave? These entire questions left me tired but I lazily stared at Dr. Kevin. He stares at me too.

"Sakura,"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you can love again?"

I close my eye and turn my head. "I don't know."