Disclaimer: More rather pointless drivel, in an even more crack-ish and three-walled tone (Fourth wall? It don't exist. It melted under the gaze of Voldemort.) I don't own Voldemort, Pettigrew, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Schoolhouse Rock (Siriusly—okay, seriously, I don't even own a recording of any of the songs in any form), or an optometrist office, although I did make up the details of this fictional one, basing them off my own optometrist's office.

Remember, dear reader, when we last left them, as they were in the waiting room of the optometrist's office, having just discovered that Harry Potter sees the same optometrist (and has an appointment at present), Pettigrew seemed to want to ask Voldemort a very pressing question. Or at least, he looked hopefully at the Dark Lord…

"What is it, Pettigrew?" the myopic Dark wizard ground out.

"Can I have a cup of coffee?" pleaded the pathetic Pettigrew (ooh! Alliteration!).

"Whatever," he said petulantly, and stared towards his arch-enemy, who right now resembled an infuriatingly shaped blur more than anything whatsoever else.

Having received permission from his master, Pettigrew began to, confusedly, dispense coffee from the machine. At first he forgot to place a cup under the dispenser and so dispensed the hot beverage into the tray.

Could Potter see him? Could that terrible Boy Who Lived see him? Could he?

Raising his wand—and not forgetting to do it with his left hand, either!—he cast a quick Sharp Sight charm on himself, and was able to discern that the Gryffindor was not wearing glasses. Why, you ask, did he not simply use this Sharp Sight charm on himself and save the trouble of going to the optometrist at all? Two reasons: The Sharp Sight charm doesn't last very long, and a complicated, interruptive incantation must be repeated at intervals to renew it if cast more than once a day, and you must simply face the fact that Voldemort is simply the sort of person to apply logic only in the most illogical of ways and so never consider using a sharp sight charm on himself to cure his myopia. (He had failed to even think of going to a magic optometrist-never mind that most of them would be scared stiff of him—but we will refrain from discussing that dismal alley of conversation.)

Still worried that Potter could see him, he cast a disillusionment charm and a notice-me-not charm on himself. However admirable this bit of foresight might be, and we will grant him that it was probably a good idea, there is still the pressing issue that raising a stick and muttering strange words only to make weird things happen in front of Muggles will make them think you are absolutely nutters, and furthermore, the nurse, due to the former problem, was staring directly at him when he cast the notice-me-not charm. Fortunately for her, she shook her head at the odd sensation of having been staring at nothing at all quite intensely, and her mind forgot about Voldemort being there.

Contrariwise, this was nowhere near as fortunate for the Dark Wizard. Being invisible to the persons staffing your doctor's office is a frustrating and inadvisable experience, as Voldemort would gladly inform you (If you are a Muggle, and he knows it, he might kill you afterwards, but, hey, all great wizards have their weaknesses, right? Right? Oh, aaaah!)

Said nurse, who had been about to call Voldemort back, looked around confusedly for a moment, dismissed Pettigrew, who was lapping at his coffee and pouring in cream and sugar, and, confused, finally settled upon shaking her head and calling the next patient, who, of course, happened to be Voldemort's nemesis, Harry—actually, please disregard that last phrase, as the author has been threatened with some very painful curses if she does not refrain from referring to Harry as Voldemort's anything. (Despite the fact that her earlier violations of the rule went entirely unnoticed, perhaps due to her use of pronouns and avoidance of Rufus Xavier Sasparilla-hey!).

Incensed with rage, Voldemort attempted to arrest the momentum of the "Boy-Who-Lived", but only succeeded in making Harry extremely confused as his face was grasped in fury by invisible hands which seemed to be holding a rather sweaty pamphlet and a wand. (and said Gryffindor informed your author, under duress, that the pamphlet almost caused a painful paper cut on his ear.)

The nurse watched as Harry stopped suddenly, panicked and ran towards the door, and she stood motionless, puzzled, as Voldemort strode past her emphatically and looked around the inner rooms of the optometrist's sanctum.

He was entirely ready to see Doctor Hillary.

So, how is Voldemort going to navigate the office? And will he think to take off the disillusionment charm? And Pettigrew, what's going to become of him? Will Harry recognize him? Will the rat get thrown out for atrocious manners, even though they are the least of his egregious crimes?