In this installment, the Warden gets more fatherly – and it kinda continues that way until he's more father than uncle. Jared gets to know Val a bit, and he becomes the only person there she can tolerate because they can sort of relate to each other, and that comes into play a lot later on, when he becomes the voice of reason in her life (you'll see that more towards chapter 8). And oh God, wait till the part with Jacknife comes up in this chapter – what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that?!

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Chapter Four: Look of Love

Not too long later…

Alice drug Val into the Warden's office, and shoved her towards his desk, nearly knocking her off her feet in the process.

"Gee, thanks, Alice," Val murmured sarcastically, turning her attention to the Warden, who was staring at her intently.

"Val," he said with a sinister grin.

"Warden," she said in response, her tone bordering on disturbed.

"Why keep trying to leave, huh? Don't you like it here?"

"Uh, I think I've made it pretty clear that I don't."

"Doesn't it deserve a chance?"

"No, I'd say it definitely doesn't."

"Come on, Val – don't try to run, Superjail can be fun!" he said cheerfully, and she was less than enthused.

"Couldn't escape if I wanted to," she mumbled.

"I'm very disappointed in you for trying to leave, but I'll let you off with a warning," he said happily. "Jared and Jailbot, I'm putting you two in charge of keeping an eye on Val."

"Well, I guess I should have seen that coming," Val said under her breath.

Looking to her, the Warden continued. "Val, Uncle Jared will take the first watch, Uncle Jailbot the second, and so on."

"Wait, wait – so now the robot is my uncle, too?"

"Val, that is no way to talk about Uncle Jailbot," he scolded.

"First you take me hostage, then you treat me like a little kid. Well, I've got news for you: I am a human being, I have rights, and I am an adult!"

"Valerie," the Warden attempted to sound stern, but failed rather miserably to even muster a speck of authority in his tone, given his general demeanor, "Don't you dare raise your voice to me!"

"I'll do whatever I damn well please!" she retorted.

"Jared, you're in charge here, do something!" the Warden snapped at him.

"Yes, sir," Jared said, trying to think quickly, "Uh, I think I should show you to where you'll be staying." He pushed her towards the door.

"And don't forget to think about what you did!" the Warden added.

"I hope someone mutilates you!" she shouted back.

She followed Jared in complete silence for a while, until he stopped at a door. "Go on in, I'll be right back."

She shrugged to herself, and walked inside. Looking about slowly, she found herself in a large, white-walled room with a very high ceiling and a cement floor. The floor level was raised in the back corner between the sidewall and a small enclosed area, which she assumed was the bathroom. The room was empty except for leather chaise lounge a couple yards from where she stood. She walked over to it, sat down and gazed up at the ceiling.

Jared came back in. "This is your room which will double as your office. I realize it's a bit empty – well, more than a bit…" he said, taking in the barrenness of the room before looking to Val, who was wiping her eyes. "Valerie, what's wrong?"

"I'm being kept here against my will by a guy who is acting like some kind of a pedophile. What do you think?"

He walked over and sat down next to her. "You eventually get used to the Warden's… unique… personality."

"I'd rather be stuck anywhere, but here – Antarctica, the Sahara, an island populated completely by people with infectious diseases…"

Jared sympathized with her, though he knew she didn't stand much of a chance of leaving. "Maybe you'll eventually come to be comfortable here," he said optimistically.

"And I find out the most normal of the staff is also crazy. How would I ever come to like this place?"

"Err… Stockholm Syndrome?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Did you just suggest I try to get Stockholm Syndrome?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that! I meant - " He tried to get his thoughts together.

She laughed slightly. "You're alright, Jared. Not like the purple psycho." She leaned against the back of the lounge. "As if it wasn't bead enough he won't let me leave, he adds insult to injury by treating me like a kid and making me feel inferior."

"I know how you feel," Jared related.

She looked at him for a moment, as if considering the situation. "By the way, I'm sorry I got you yelled at before."

"Don't worry about it," he shook his head dismissively, "That's nothing compared to what I normally put up with."

"Somehow I think you and I will get along just fine," Val said, managing to smile for the first time since she found herself at Superjail. "As long as you don't try to kill me, or anything like that," she added, thinking of Alice.

"I don't foresee that being a problem," he replied.

"You know," she said absentmindedly, "This reminds me of the movie Willard. A guy whose boss is messed up, and the woman who gets along with him. All that's missing is the psycho mother – well, actually, I think the Warden could stand in for her, too – and the rats." She started humming a pleasant tune. "Jared, the two of us need look no more. We both found what we were looking for. With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone - " She paused. "It's funny that he'd sing that to a rat who hates him…"

"JARED!" came the Warden's distant – but load – shout, and he immediately jumped to his feet.

"Valerie, it was nice talking to you, but I'm afraid I've got to go now. If you need anything, I'll be around."

"Bye, and thanks – for talking to me, that is. I enjoyed getting to know you."

"JAREEED!" the Warden shouted a second time, "Don't make me call you again!"

Jared nodded to Val, and was quickly on his way. She waited for a minute, then went to the door and peered around outside, checking that the coast was clear. When se was sure it was, she slipped into the hallway and wandered to the nearest cell.

"Psst, hey, you," she said quietly, and the cell's inhabitant came up to the bars.

"What do you want?" he grumbled.

"Do me a favor – spread it around that the new HR lady wants to get the fuck out of this hellhole, and I'll take anybody who helps devise a plan with me; just come to my living-quarters-office-thing."

The prisoner gave a semi-nod that didn't really indicate whether or not he was agreeing to do it, and she quickly went back to her quarters.

The next day… Val was laying on the chaise lounge, counting dots on the ceiling and wondering what she'd be doing if she wasn't here. "5,674, 5,675, 5676 - "

Then she heard the door open. "Good morning, Valerie. Did you get any sleep?"

"Crap, I lost count – uh, what did you say?" she looked over to see Jared walking towards her.

"I'll take that to mean no. What have you been doing this whole time?"

"Counting dots. Thousands of dots."

"Ah-ha," he said, raising an eyebrow," Anyway, I came to get you because the Warden would like you to join us for breakfast."

"Yeah, great. I'd rather blow my brains out, but I suppose I don't have a choice, right?"

"Well, he did seem insistent - "

"Okay, I'll come. But not because I want to – mostly because everyone here, except you, scares me."

They went down to the cafeteria together, Val noticing she got a lot of somewhat creepy looks form prisoners as she passed. Jared pulled out the chair for her politely, and she sat down, taking one look at the Warden, who she was seated next to, and then pushing herself a bit further away from him.

"Morning, Val!" the Warden said enthusiastically, "How are you this fine day?"

"Go to hell," she answered.

"Sounds like somebody needs a hug!"

"Touch me and I will rip you arm off and beat you to death with it!" she said adamantly.

Despite the threat, he got up and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, while she tried desperately to shake him off.

"Eww! Get off, get off!"

"Feel better?" he asked with a smile when he finally let go.

"God, no," she said, visibly disturbed by the whole thing, "It's like being hugged by Satan." She brushed herself off, feeling very violated.

"So, do you like your office?" the Warden asked congenially.

"What's to like? It's minimalism gone wild in there."

"Well then, I'll have to have it redecorated," he said, sounding overly pleased with the idea.

"Now I'm really scared." Val shuddered.

"Don't worry about a thing. Your Unckie Warden will take care of everything."

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you, why is Jared 'uncle' – not that that's any less annoying – and you're 'unckie'?"

"'Cause I'm the cool uncle!" the Warden said cheerfully.

"Yeah, more like the terrifying uncle."

"Cut the touchy-feely crap. I want to eat sometime this century, and I can't with you carrying on like that," Alice said gruffly.

"On the subject of eating, count me out," Val said simply, "I don't trust you people. Anything I eat, I make myself."

"Come on, Val, you can trust us," the Warden coaxed sweetly, and she shook her head.

"I'll eat my own vomit first, thanks."

"Well then, you're welcome to fix yourself something in the kitchen," he suggested and she got up and went into the kitchen without further ado.

It took all of her will not to run back out of the kitchen after she entered – it was like the school kitchen from Hell. And the way the ladies looked at her wasn't helping, like they were sizing her up for something.

"Uh, hi. I'm here to make myself something to eat – and I outrank you, so please don't give me any trouble…" she said nervously.

"What the fuck is this? Girls, I don't know what kind of establishment you're running here, but this isn't food – it's rubbish!" Chef Gordon Ramsey shouted, coming in with an inedible tray of something that was crawling with maggots.

"Gordon Ramsey? What the hell are you doing here?" Val asked, so taken aback she could barely react.

"I'm filming an episode of Kitchen Nightmares. Who are you?"

"Uh, the Human Resources person."

He turned to the ladies, taking on his characteristically caustic tone and shouting, "This woman doesn't even work in here, and I bet she can cook a billion times better than the lot of you!"

They seemed pretty insulted by that comment.

"Um, I have nothing to do with what he just said!" Val could tell something bad was about to happen when they began to come at Chef Ramsey with a lot of knives. "Mr. Ramsey, you're my hero, but I'm afraid you're in this one alone. I'll come back later!" she shouted to the kitchen workers, leaving in a hurry.

"Coward!" Chef Ramsey yelled after her, turning his attention back to the pissed ladies. "You think you can take me? Bring it on!"

"Val, where are you going?" the Warden asked as she passed them, heading for the exit.

"Back to my office – I can't handle this place right now," she replied.

"Hang on, I'll come with you!" he called happily, "Follow me, Jared!"

"But I just started eating."

"Jared!"

"Coming, sir."

A minute later…

They entered Val's living quarters, and the girl, not to mention Jared, were rather startled by what they saw.

"How… in hell… did you pull this off so fast?" she asked in a near whisper.

Indeed, the room was quite different – for one, the floor appeared to be done in white marble, there were plants everywhere, even a few trees, a large koi pond, a flock of peacocks, and the walls were rainbow colored.

"It's hurting my eyes," Val said, blinking a few times, then looking at the birds. "Very… very exotic."

"Do you like it?" the Warden asked hopefully.

"Err… I'm not really sure how to react… Why do the peahens have diamond necklaces on?"

"Aren't they lovely? Notice that one there - " he pointed to a peacock that seemed a bit grumpy, wearing a spiked collar around it's neck, "That is an attack peacock, to keep you safe while you work."

"Huh," Val responded, still in shock.

"Um, sir, how much did this cost?" Jared finally spoke.

"Doesn't matter," he said with a smile, "Nothing's too good for my Val. You're my platonic Alice, Val."

"Uuuhhh, okay… And that means what exactly?"

"You mean the world to me, you are my everything!"

She took a step away from him. "You just creep me out more and more."

He laughed. "Val, you're a delight."

A little bit later…

The two men had left Val to take in the new appearance of her office while they finished eating, and she lay on her chaise lounge watching the peacocks mill around, trilling to each other.

Val sat up with a start when a group of about seven prisoners came in.

"Uh, can I help you?" she asked, hoping this wasn't going to get ugly.

"Like you, we want to get the hell out of here," one of them replied.

"Ah, so you got the message, I guess?"

"Yeah. So how are we going to do this?"

"Well, since I live in a greenhouse basically, I'm thinking we'll use that as a cover. You guys can come here and take care of my place, and when no one's around, we work on a plan. Sound good?"

Nobody responded, being too busy looking around.

"Hellooo?"

"Right, right, good – we got caught up in the colors."

"Yeah… Okay, well, I'm going to stretch my legs – you can either start, or… stare at the walls, I guess."

She left the group behind with a sigh of 'weirdos', and went to walk around and clear her head. She hadn't been walking for long when she ran into somebody she wasn't quite expecting to.

"You!" she said, and Jacknife appeared to be just as displeased to see her as she was him. "You're the reason I'm stuck in this place, you fucking retard! Of all the people in the world, you had to run into me? Why?!"

It wasn't clear who started it, but this immediately led to a brawl. It was a very strange sight – even stranger than their original fight, since this time Jacknife actually fought back. It wasn't long before they were both somewhat bloody and getting worn out. When they finally got to the point they couldn't fight anymore, they were only managing to stay standing by supporting each other's weight with one hand on the others shoulder, breathing heavily.

They looked up at each other, their eyes met, and suddenly it sounded like music was playing somewhere…

That's the look, that's the look, the look of love –

… And the next thing they knew, they were making out.

That's the look, that's the look, the look of love. That's the look, that's the look, the look of looooove –

WHAM! … That was when Jailbot happened to come along and break up the freaky scene by smashing a chair over Jacknife's head and knocking him out.

LOOK OF LOVE!

"Oh, thanks, Jailbot – I have no idea how that got started," Val said, wiping her mouth with her arm.

Jailbot gave her a disapproving look, and she decided to change the subject. "Do you know where the Warden is? I need to ask him something."

Jailbot led the way to a cellblock where the Warden and Jared were walking around.

"Warden - " she said, and he cut her off straight away.

"Val, what happened to you?" he took on the mannerisms of a doting mother at this point, speaking worriedly and starting to wipe blood off of her face.

"I got into a tiff with somebody, it's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is a big deal; look at you! Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, now get off of me! I came to ask you a question."

"Ask away."

"Would it be alright if I picked out a small group of inmates to take care of my garden for me while I work?"

"Why, Val, that's a splendid idea! You're so ingenuitive – just like me!"

"That is, by far, the last thing I ever wanted to hear," she said.

"Now, Val, we should get you cleaned up and make sure you're not hurt. I'll get Auntie Alice and we'll take you to see the doctor."

"Fantastic. A woman I'm terrified of, the dude who scares me in ways I didn't even think were possible, and a guy with a profession I'm terrified of. What a great mix that is."

As they began to walk, a prisoner suddenly waved to them from nearby. "Have a nice Samhain, Warden."

"I have no idea what that means, but you, too," he replied agreeably.

"Samhain is an ancient holiday that was practiced by the Celts on which Halloween is based, sir," Jared explained, "They would leave out food and drink for their dead ancestors, and they believed that if their ancestors felt they hadn't been properly honored they would return to drag their living descendants back to the underworld."

"Ooh, how deliciously sinister!" the Warden said, apparently fascinated by the last part.

"Will you be honoring your father this Samhain?" the prisoner asked, and he shook his head.

"Why should I? He's been dead for a while and he's never come back for any reason before. Besides, I don't believe in any of that."

"You should, laddie – he hasn't come back before because you didn't know about it then. I'm sure he still has a bone to pick with you."

"Oh, just shut up!" the Warden said, leaving in a huff with Jailbot following.

"So, he had a father? Somehow I can't picture him being born… More like crawling out of a pit somewhere," Val said thoughtfully.

"Yes, the Warden's father ran this place before him, but the Warden made it the way it is today," Jared said.

"Somehow that explains a lot."

"He's been here since the Warden's father was still in charge." He indicated the prisoner.

"Aye, I knew him."

"Really? Is the Warden anything like his father?" Val asked.

"No, he was masculine and likeable."

Val couldn't help but burst out laughing at that statement, though Jared wasn't exactly thrilled. "Valerie, we should go."

"You go ahead, I'll be right there." Val stayed behind a few minutes, talking to the guy about the Warden's father and the very vague comparison between the two. "It was nice talking to you, Seamus. You remind me of this old guy I was friends with – but not old. I'll come visit you sometime."

"Take care, lassie."

She continued along on her way, and when she was in an empty corridor, something strange occurred.

Val paused, looking around. The air had suddenly gotten very cold, and she wondered if she was close to a vent of some kind, but the hall was devoid of really anything. She shrugged, turning back towards the way she'd been going to see someone standing there.

She blinked, and he had disappeared. She glanced around figuring it was just an optical illusion. She blinked again, and this time he was right in front of her.

"Aah!" she exclaimed, backing away a few steps. "Okay… You cannot be real…"

He gave her an exceptionally serious look. "I am very real."

His voice had an indescribable quality to it, that at once made her tense, but she loved the way it sounded so charismatic and self-assured. One thing was for certain – if he commanded you to do something, you did it.

"Does that mean… you're a… ghost?"

"I suppose, though I'm only here temporarily." When he spoke, his voice echoed slightly in a muffled way that barely reached her.

She was speechless.

"Where is he?"

"Um, who exactly?"

"My son."

"Y-you wouldn't happen to be the Warden's father, would you?" she said barely above a whisper.

"Will you take me to him?"

"Sure," she said, "But aren't ghosts, like, supposed to just know these things?"

He stared at her with an unamused expression.

"Right this way," she said, beginning to walk. "This is ironic since I was just talking to someone about you."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I thought you sounded like an interesting fellow."

"And how do you know my son?" he questioned.

"Well… He's holding me hostage and forcing me to work for him."

"I see."

In the Warden's office…

"What a crock," the Warden said bitterly, "People coming from beyond the grave to get revenge."

"I agree, sir – the whole idea is absurd," Jared said, trying to get him back to his normal, cheerful self.

Then Val stepped in, trailed by the entity, and needless to say, the Warden's jaw dropped.

"I bring you the once and future king of Superjail, Warden the first, gracing this disturbing hellhole. My coworkers, we are in the presence of royalty."

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God, Jacknife in a make-out scene, how wrong is that? Don't ask me why I put Gordon Ramsey in this story… Aside from my rabid obsession with him… Somehow he kind of fits in here – and you see him again in chapter eight. I don't know if he'll come up after that… Maybe…

The peacocks – I don't know why, but I have a weird thing with peacocks. I got to see them up close and personal at the Philadelphia Zoo years ago, and I've been fascinated with them since – even though my friend Anna was standing behind me, hiding and screaming, because she's afraid of birds and one of them was glaring at us from on top of a brick wall. Literally, peacocks can be pretty grumpy, whereas the peahens are quite docile. Where do you think I got the inspiration for the 'attack peacock' lol.

For the record, I wrote this chapter quite some time before we see the Warden's father in the actual show – I guess dying kind of mellowed him out, or something. Although I kind of like his Jacob Marley-esque way of talking to the Warden. He does come up again in the next chapter, then disappears for a bit – which means I have to work him in again.

Hope you liked this chapter!