Ah, some more arguing with Alice leads to Val nearly getting killed – gotta love that. And there's a bad Teletubbies reference… Don't ask me why…
Also, the song Val sings, "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat" is by Don Henley – I used to hear that song all the time when I was a kid, and I was obsessed with it, but I never knew what it was called or who sang it until a few months ago. Yet another song by Don Henley I love – that guy totally rocks! (runs off to listen to "Dirty Laundry")
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Chapter Six: Don't Rock the Boat
In the hall…
"Shouldn't you be concerning yourself with how your father wants to kill you?" Val asked the Warden and he laughed.
"Pshaw," he replied, "I'd like to see that thing try."
"Well, it shouldn't be hard – he is dead, and the dead tend to have strange powers."
"The Warden is perfectly capable of taking care of himself," Jared said in his defense.
"Heh, yeah. Somehow he's managed to survive this long," she said, idly watching the dull scenery of this area of the prison pass by, "Too bad."
Jared gave her a look that suggested she shut up before she got in trouble, and she just smiled and shrugged at him.
"So, exactly why are we going fishing?"
"We want you to feel more at home," the Warden said, "And what better way than to do something together?"
"Sure, that will totally make me feel at home – about as much as a tractor trailer plowing through my living room."
"Don't worry, Val, you'll love it! We'll be fishing for Swordfish and Barracuda!"
"Somehow I highly doubt that. Can't I just go back to my place? I don't handle the prospects of danger well when I haven't slept."
"No," the Warden laughed upon saying this. "Now, I think you'll remember where we're heading." He opened a door and Val gazed outside to the familiar meadow.
"Oh God, not again…"
"Oh yes," the Warden said, "What better setting to relax and spend some time together?"
"I don't want to go out there with those things!"
"You mean the Sheepzilla? Aren't they wonderful creatures?" he asked wistfully.
"They wanted to eat me."
"Nonsense," he waved a hand dismissively, "They wouldn't harm a fly."
"Uh, but sir, you had the Doctor create them to kill anyone trying to come or go," Jared reminded him.
"Jared, I think I know what they were created for."
"Then why are they sizing you up right now?" Val asked, trying to make herself look inconspicuous.
"That's just their way of being friendly!"
"Riiight," Val said, as they approached the boat they'd be using. "Err… Is that thing remotely safe? It looks like a huge pile of toothpicks."
Indeed, the boat looked anything but safe.
"It'll be fine, Val, stop being such a worrywart," he reassured, but she didn't feel any better.
"I really don't think - " but she was cut off when Alice hoisted her up and literally threw her into the boat. "… Okay…. That hurt…"
Amazingly, everyone managed to fit into the small boat, and Alice rowed them out about ten yards from shore, while the so-called "Sheepzilla" congregated on the beach, observing them hungrily.
Val sighed deeply. "I feel like shooting myself in the face."
"You know what might cheer you up? A sea shanty!" the Warden said enthusiastically, and she covered her eyes.
"Oh, God… Don't even go there, seriously."
"A good song cheers up everybody!" He stood up, causing the boat to shift uneasily.
"Yeah, I got a song for you – sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat. 'Cause the devil will drag you down by the sharp lapels of your [purple] coat. Sit down, you're rockin' the boat."
"That can easily be construed as a threat," Alice replied, looking for an excuse to get on her case.
"Well, maybe it was," Val answered less than pleasantly, and the Warden jumped in.
"Come on, we should be getting along!"
"Stay out of it!" both Alice and Val snapped and then glared at each other.
"Don't address your superior that way!" Alice ordered.
"Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what to do when you just did the same thing?!"
"I outrank you, scumbag!"
"Since when do prison guards outrank Human Resource professionals? You're just a glorified security guard!"
"Now, girls - " the Warden tried to interrupt.
"Shut up, Tinky Winky!" Val shouted, thinking of the Teletubbies for some reason.
"Val, I'd advise you to show your Auntie Alice more respect," he said informatively.
"Shut up, shut up, shut the fucking hell up! I'll talk to the hideous-ass whore however I like!"
"That tears it!" Alice said and tackled Val, the two of them falling overboard and thrashing around in the water before sinking below the surface.
"Sir, shouldn't we do something?" Jared asked, peering over the edge of the boat.
"No, they'll be back up any time now," he replied, and after a while his tone became a little less confident. "… Any time now, I'm sure… Where the hell are they?"
"Over there!" Jared said, pointing to the shore.
Val clamored up onto the beach, throwing sand and rocks at the Sheepzilla to shoo them away. Catching her breath, she turned and waved to them. "I'm okay!"
Then Alice emerged from the water, looking hell bent of destruction.
"Oooh crap."
Val didn't was any time in running for the door.
"Get back here!" Alice snarled, chasing after her, and even chucking a Sheepzilla at her at one point.
"Hm, that can't be good," Jared said to himself, aware of what might happen if Alice caught up with Val.
"Well, I'm glad they're safe, but now our fishing trip is ruined," the Warden said, somewhat upset.
"We could always do something else together, sir," he suggested, and before the Warden could say anything, there was an odd sound like a Gregorian chant.
"What is that?" the Warden asked, getting creeped out.
"It sounds like monks singing," Jared answered, slowly looking around.
That's when a large group of Leopard seals stuck their heads out of the water, looking directly at them.
"Sir, maybe we should go back to shore…"
"What do you mean?" he asked, looking at the toothy creatures with interest.
"Those seals aren't found anywhere near these waters. And they're highly aggressive."
"Really?" That prospect excited the Warden. "Maybe we should give them to the good Doctor."
"Uh - "
Then the seals started bumping the boat, trying to tip it over.
"Jailbot, you know what to do," the Warden said cheerfully.
Meanwhile…
Val was running through Superjail, getting more and more tired by the second, but she wasn't going to stop now, being able to hear Alice somewhere behind her, knocking inmates left and right out of her way.
She managed to get to her quarters, running inside and slamming the door behind her, leaning up against it heavily.
The group of prisoners who were caring for her plants stopped what they were doing and stared at her.
"Locks, locks, I have to lock this thing!" she said urgently, turning back to the door and beginning to close latches and locks and fixing the chains, feeling a lot safer being locked in a room with a bunch of convicts than in the same room as a pissed off Alice.
Before she was even halfway done getting through the various locks, something slammed into the door hard.
"You can't hide from me!" Alice called to her from the other side, and continued slamming into the door.
Val backed away from the door, watching it quiver with each blow that was laid against it.
After a long time, it finally stopped, and she made her way cautiously over to the door, laying her head against it and listening to the silence on the other side.
She suddenly jumped back when Alice shouted again. "You may be safe for now, but this isn't over!"
Val heard her footsteps leading away, and wiped her forehead in relief. "Thank God this door is made of panic room grade reinforced steel."
"What the hell did you do to make her so mad?" one of the prisoners asked.
"Honestly, I can't remember, but I think it ended with 'whore'…"
There was a collective 'oh' followed by random comments ranging from 'nice' to 'that was incredibly stupid'.
She drew a deep breath, and traipsed over to her chaise lounge to sit down. "While I'm hiding out for my life in here, why don't we have our first meeting to figure out what the hell we're doing? 'Cause I can't handle this place anymore."
They agreed, and gathered around to start brainstorming, unaware that something was listening to every word.
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Now the plot is really moving along – from here, Val gets to know some of the prisoners (including an OC who looks like the main character from "The Shawshank Redemption" – my favorite prison movie), Alice starts to play with Val's head a bit, and Val actually manages to seriously piss off the Warden. Coming soon to a computer screen near you! Lol.
I have the next two chapters written, I just need to type them. I would have posted chapter seven on DeviantArt a long time ago, but I was swamped during Christmas with stuff I had to do, and now I keep getting sick, which doesn't help, on top of me having to do a lot of art for people. I have seven and eight written out and I'll be typing them soon; probably this upcoming week, since I don't have too much of a workload right now as far as art goes (I'm self-employed as a commissionable artist)… For now, anyway.
Hope you enjoyed the first six chapters of the story! I'll be posting more soon!
