Disclaimer in profile. Say that three times fast. Now punch yourself for being so gullible.

While one teenager was seeking rest and relaxation from his agony with his favorite person, another slowly walked to his own destination. This young man wasn't nearly as worn out as his friend, but the grueling workout did wear on him.

This is a level of soreness I should've expected, but somehow didn't, he thought to himself during his slow walk. At least my previous training helped me out. He stopped mid-stride to take a deep breath and release a sigh.

"What a wonderful way to spend a weekend..." He said to nobody in particular. He slightly shivered at the statement he hadn't said in years.

People who passed by him gaped in awe. It was odd that the fabled genius of Tamachi was walking down the street in the evening light. Couple that with the fact that he was still wearing the clothes he had before his workout, but with significantly more sweat on the shirt, and it was a moment in time that warranted many a camera's flash and a fangirl's swoon.

If only Yolei were here, he again thought as he fought against a mob of admirers. She'd get rid of these people quickly.

A local news crew shooting an unrelated story in a nearby store caught on to the group surrounding the iconic young man. Abandoning their original story, they saw it as the perfect opportunity to pad their resumes a bit and chased after the loving mob.

This is fine kettle of fish, he thought. What do I do now?

He nimbly dodged the lips of a lovestruck admirer, thankful for his many years of soccer practice.

Wait. Soccer. That's it!

Ken waited for the perfect opportunity to come to him. This wasn't something you rushed until you absolutely needed to.

The news reporter stepped in front of Ken, blocking his path and allowing him to be glomped repeatedly.

"Ken Ichijouji," she started, intending to get an impromptu interview. "Would you mind explaining why you decided to go for a stroll here?"

"It isn't a stroll," he strained through the pile of bodies burying him. "I'm trying to get to a friend's house."

"So, is this friend someone who you're close to? Or could this be a secret lover?"

Ken rolled his eyes as he managed to wriggle his way out from underneath the mass of flesh.

"Quite frankly," he answered with a tone of irritation, "My relationship status with the friend I intend to visit at this time is a matter of privacy and is something that nether you nor anyone else should find relevant to any sort of discussion. In other words, BACK OFF!"

Despite his statement, however, the reporter quickly jotted down Ken's reply, hoping to get something to edit for an interview teaser.

"So," she asked. "Is this close friend of yours a lady? Or..." she raised her eyebrows in amusement. "A male?"

"I don't appreciate the insinuation that I might have any sort of homosexual tendencies." Ken answered, clearly irate. "I don't have a problem with anyone who leads such a lifestyle, but I kindly ask that you refrain from making any statements that might have a negative impact on me or my family in any direct or indirect manner."

Jotting his words down, the reporter decided to ask the one question she might have come to regret later on.

"In that case, Ichijouji, would you mind giving us his name?" She asked with a smirk.

Before Ken could unleash the biggest verbal lashing he'd ever issued, another starry-eyed fangirl approached with a soda can in her hand.

"OH MY GAWD!" She screamed. "YOU'RE THE HAWT GENIOUS!" She jumped up and down where she stood, forgetting about the drink in her hand. Just as she went for her obligatory glomp, the mindless fan turned her hand just enough for the can to empty its contents down the back of said genious.

The sharp cold feeling from the soft drink hitting his back snapped Ken straight, eyes wide in surprise. Moments passed in sheer silence as the crowd of onlookers waited to see what his reaction to being soaked in liquid sugar would be.

Ken took a moment to adjust to the cold from the soda on his back, noting how uncomfortable it made his sore back feel. He slumped over, allowing his navy bangs to cover his eyes. Several members of the crowd could swear that a dark aura surrounded him.

"Uh...Kenny...?" The girl who'd gotten him wet nervously said, noting something that looked like a change in attitude. Ken picked his head up at the sound of a pet name, revealing a terrifying glare that only a privileged few could remember him having on a consistent basis.

"Listen, you ignorant little wretch," he growled. "You will step back. You will apologize for ruining a gift from a close friend. And you will swear that you will never even consider approaching me for any reason ever again. Have I made myself clear?"

The girl visibly shook, terrified. "Y-y-yes sir." She took a couple steps back and bowed deeply. "I'm sorry, Kenny. I'll never talk to you again."

"Good." Ken said. "And refrain from ever addressing me in such a familiar manner again."

The girl vigorously nodded before running off in sheer fright. Ken then turned his attention to the news crew that was shooting the whole encounter.

"This entire travesty," His growl continued. "From start to finish, is never to be aired in any way, shape or form. If I so much as see myself in any broadcast, not only will I personally see to it that your station is shut down, but every single employee will also be faced with personal lawsuits for harassment and invasion of privacy. Understood?"

The cameraman immediately threw his camera to the ground, destroying everything that had been recorded. Madam reporter proceeded to tear her notes into small, unrecoverable pieces.

"Travesty?" She asked in nervousness. "What travesty? Nothing happened here. I apologize for the intrusion, Ichijouji-san." The pair bowed momentarily before scurrying off.

In one final sweep, Ken turned to address the rest of the crowd. "As for the rest of you, if you don't get out of my sight immediately, I'll see to it personally that charges of harassment are pressed against each and every single one of you."

Moments passed as terrified citizen filed away, hoping to forget about the taste of "the Rocket's" wrath and move on with their lives. Once he was sufficiently alone, Ken released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He then suddenly brought his hand up to his mouth as a gag reflex shot through his system. He ducked away into the nearest alley and retched.

Dear God, he weakly thought as he finished. Why did I do that? Wiping his mouth and spitting out the last bits of acid in his mouth, he started his journey once again, a sense of regret washing over him. He wished he'd relied on his soccer experience rather than of his caped experience.

I hadn't done that in so long...I wish I'd forgotten how.

Before he knew it, he stood in front of a familiar store. He pushed his way through the front door, ringing the small bell attached to it.

"Hello!" The young man behind the counter called out. He noticed who it was that entered the store. "Oh, hey Ken."

"Hello, Mantarou." Ken replied. "Is Yolei home?"

"Yeah. She's up in her room." Picking up a set of keys, Yolei's older brother moved to a door in the back of the store. He unlocked and opened it, revealing a set of stairs.

"It's alright if I go up, right?" Ken asked.

"No, I just opened the door to taunt you." Mantarou answered, rolling his eyes. "Just be careful. She's playing video games."

Ken raised an eyebrow. "Why should I be careful about that?"

"No More Heroes." Mantarou said simply.

"Ah. I'll watch out for flailing limbs, then." Ken started up the stairs that led to the Inoue residence. "Thanks."

A couple flights of stairs took him up to the third floor. Once he found the door he was looking for, he lifted his hand to knock on the door. Just before his knuckles, made contact, however, a blood-curdling scream blared from the apartment.

"GRAAAARGH!"

Ken sweatdropped. I guess she's not having a good time. He knocked on the door lightly. Shuffling feet could be heard coming from the other side of the door. Said door was yanked open, revealing an irate mass of lavender.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Yolei screamed.

Ken lifted a hand. "Hello."

"Oh, hey Ken." Yolei rubbed the back of her head. "I didn't know it was you."

"Of course not. You didn't bother to look out your peephole."

"Oh shut up." She stepped to the side. "Stop standing around and get in here."

Ken rolled his eyes, but stepped in anyway. Yolei slammed the door shut, grabbed Ken's arm and dragged him into her room. Ken wondered when it happened, but Yolei began developing a fondness for anime and video games. Figurines of all kinds lined her furniture, while manga accompanied her textbooks and technical manuals on her bookshelves. Posters of various games and anime lined her walls while piles of DVDs sat stacked in various places in her room.

"Now then," she said, pointing to her TV. "Kick her ass!"

Ken looked to see the game he was warned about paused on Yolei's TV. He looked back at Yolei and raised an eyebrow.

"Who's ass do you want me to kick, exactly?"

Yolei pointed at her TV again. "Bad Girl," she said. "She's a bitch and a half and I can't beat her no matter what I do."

Ken chuckled. "Fine." He picked up the necessary equipment and, five minutes later, beamed as he did what his girlfriend had deemed the impossible.

"I don't get it," Yolei said. "How is it that I can't do anything to beat her, yet when you play, you tear her apart?"

"I'm just that good."

"Oh shut up. Now hand me that stuff. I've just gotta save and-" Yolei was cut off by Ken turning off the Wii. "NOOOOO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"Because you should learn to win for yourself."

"Jerk."

"Otaku."

"Shut up." Yolei sat on her bed and patted a spot next to her. "Now come sit down."

Ken did as he was told, enjoying the feeling of his girlfriend draping her arms around his neck.

"So, how was the workout?" Yolei asked as she gently dragged a fingertip down Ken's arm.

"It went better for me than it did for T.K." He mused. "He could barely walk when we were done."

Yolei rolled her eyes. "Thank you for that, Ken. I needed a reminder that I deal with too many bitches in my life."

Ken sighed. "You're still bickering with Kari?"

"Nope. Not talking to her until this whole thing is over."

"You know, you're going to ruin your friendship with her over something stupid."

"I can afford that. It's her fault for starting this whole thing in the first place."

Ken rubbed a hand through his hair. "This isn't going to work out well."

"Oh well. We'll get over it." Yolei slid her arm down his back and took note of a particularly large spot on his shirt. "What happened here?"

Ken groaned. "Some idiot accidentally spilled her drink on me trying to glomp me."

A tick grew on Yolei's forehead. "So, what did you do about it?"

A chill ran down Ken's back at the memory of the event that occurred not too long ago. "I glared." He said.

Yolei gaped. His answer was simple, but the impact his words had carried a great effect. She wrapped her arms around his chest in a motherly embrace. "Are you alright?"

"I scared a lot of random people, a news crew trying to interview me, and myself."

Yolei tightened her hug. "That doesn't answer my question."

"Well," Ken thought aloud. "I could be worse."

"And how's that?"

Instead of answering, Ken stood up and walked to the center of Yolei's room. Yolei watched in curiosity and confusion as Ken looked around her room for something suitable for his purpose.

"That'll work." He said as he eyed a poster. He walked up to it, clearing his throat. He stared at the poster for a few moments, creating an air of tension that nearly sucked Yolei in whole. At long last, even though it was only a minute or two, Ken took a deep breath and brought his hands up to the poster. He gently placed his hands on the poster in what Yolei thought was a loving fashion. He turned his head to look at his girlfriend with the most lustful smile and the dreamiest eyes he could muster. A single word escaped his lips.

"Moe~..."

Yolei erupted into the biggest fit of laughter she'd ever had.

"What the hell was that?" She managed to wrangle out between laughs.

Ken smiled, embarrassed at his own reference. "I thought you might like it."

Yolei wiped away the tears that had formed because of her intense laughter. "Okay...okay..." She panted. "So, how are you really feeling?"

Ken shrugged. "Fine, actually. I ended up heaving afterward and didn't dwell on it too much."

"As long as you're alright, and you didn't threaten physical violence."

Another shrug. "Just some lawsuits."

Yolei stood up and walked to her closet. "Alright then." She opened the doors and began digging around. "You need to get cleaned up and brush your teeth." She handed him a set of clothes.

Ken nodded. "Okay then. I'll try not to take too long."

"That's alright. Take your time." She said, a smile on her face. Ken left her room, making his way toward the bathroom.

Why do I have such a wonderful girlfriend? He asked himself as he entered the bathroom. And more importantly, why do I care? I'm lucky enough as it is. I'm not going to bother questioning it.

Nearly a half hour later, Ken emerged from the bathroom feeling refreshed. He questioned the outfit Yolei gave him. He wasn't expecting a set of pajamas his size. He knocked on Yolei's bedroom door.

"Yolei," he called. "I'm done." Her door opened as Yolei exited.

"Okay. I'm going to go get cleaned up, myself." She said as she stepped out. "Oh, I took the liberty of calling your folks. You can stay here for the night if you want."

Ken nodded. "Thanks." He entered Yolei's room as she entered the restroom. While he waited for Yolei to finish, he scanned her library, noting the various titles that ranged from gushy romance to intensely violent thrillers. He lost track of time as he eyed the figures on her desk. Ken jumped slightly as Yolei entered her room with her own set of pajamas on.

"I don't know about you," she yawned. "But I'm ready for bed."

"Yeah. I'm pretty tired myself."

The teens stood in an awkward silence for a few moments, neither one making a move for the lone bed in her room. Ken eventually broke the silence.

"I'll go stay on the couch." He said as he started toward the door. Yolei stopped him and shoved him onto the bed.

"You'll do no such thing. You're staying here as long as you can behave yourself." She said with a smirk on her face.

Ken smiled. "Do I have to?"

"Yes."

Ken adjusted himself in the bed. He slid as close to the edge as he could so that Yolei could lay down with her back to him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and buried his face into the crook of her neck.

"Goodnight, Ken." Yolei said dreamily. Ken tightened his embrace slightly and offered his reply.

"Moe~..."

Yolei laughed again as the teens settled into a peaceful slumber with one another.


Moe~

I loved that moment in N.M.H. and decided to work it in here. I like how it turned out.

Oh, and for a bit of extra fun, look up episodes of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? Watch the second round of any episode, then imagine Rockapella announcing my chapter titles the way they do in that second round. That's how I come up with them. Fun.