Between truth and lies-

James's heart felt like it would fail. He ran up to the counter, completely cutting off the shop owner and her customer in mid-conversation.

"Clarify 'passed on'." James said, his voice was suddenly raspy and his palms were becoming sweaty from being clenched together so tightly.

"Mr. Potter, please, I'm with a customer." The owner said offensively.

The man at the counter cast James a rude glance before continuing his sentence.

But James cut in again," What did you mean?" James asked on the verge of sounding outraged.

The owner was looking at him, clearly appalled. "I don't know what you mean. You're acting very strange Mr. Potter…"

James stared hard at her for a moment. He slowly relaxed his hands and took a deep breath, "You said I- my parents… they were…"

The shop owner stared avidly at him. "Well, yes. You're parents… I don't feel comfortable discussing this right now. You aren't looking very well."

Indeed, all the color was gone from James's face and his limbs had become shaky. He was afraid to find out the truth… whether or not he was really… But he didn't need to ask again, because her eyes confirmed it for him. He felt light-headed, in a daze. It couldn't be… no one ever said…

"Mr. Potter? Are you feeling ill? Should-should I call somebody?" The shop owner gazed at him in concern. When he didn't answer her gaze flickered over towards the customer who just shrugged.

James had to get out, he couldn't breathe. The store was spinning as it closed in around him. He bolted towards the door.

"Mr. Potter? Mr. Potter! Wait!" The shopkeeper hurried after him. But he was already out and on the cobblestone street by the time she reached the doorway. Clutching her chest, she stood outside her shop, gazing at him running down the road, practically knocking down people as he ran. Passerby stared at the owner curiously.

"Excuse me." Came a voice suddenly.

The shopkeeper spun around.

"I noticed you said the name "Potter". He's with me. Is there something wrong?" Mrs. Weasley asked kindly.

"Well apparently so. Mr. Potter was just speaking to me when, well, I dunno, he went into a panic… I think it might have been something I said…"

Mrs. Weasley furrowed her eyebrows. The shopkeeper had to be referring to James. Harry and the other's had already met back at their meeting place. James had been the only one absent, and Hermione had tearfully admitted she had no idea where he had gone. "Which way did he go?"

James had no idea where he was running too. He just knew that he couldn't stop or the truth would catch up to him. He turned into an alleyway. Everything made sense now… everyone's words. They echoed loudly in his head.

"Your away right now…."

"Away…" James repeated to himself. He slid down the wall slowly until he was sitting. He drew his knees up to his chest and covered his ears even though it did nothing to stop the words from repeating in his mind. He shut is eyes tightly. He didn't believe it… he couldn't… there was no way he was dead.

"It's strange… you, being here…." All of Hermione's words and strange actions… the way everybody looked at him funny whenever he tried to mention his future.

His stomach was twisting in knots and he was biting his lip so hard it hurt. How? How could this happen to him? How could he have died? Or more like, how was he going to die? No, he didn't want to think about that, he couldn't. It made him feel sick. So this was the reason Harry was all alone… the reason no one ever mentioned James's future self, not once… it was because he wasn't there to begin with.

"…James?" A whisper echoed softly down the alleyway.

A second later footsteps were headed toward him. "There you are. Everyone's looking for you, we need to head back…. James?" Harry stopped in his tracks. "Is something wrong?"

James didn't answer, but kept his eyes averted to his knees. Harry hesitantly stepped closer. Something wasn't right…

"Why…" James finally said.

"Er, why what?" Harry asked, confused.

"Why did you all lie to me?"

This took Harry by surprise. "Lie to you? What do you mean?"

"Stop pretending like you don't know!" James's head snapped up and he looked at Harry straight in the eyes, " Why doesn't everyone just quit playing stupid! You lied, you all lied! You were all in on it, even you! No one thought I had the right to know?" He was suddenly on his feet. His eyes shot daggers at Harry's; his fists were shaking with rage.

Harry didn't respond. He looked solemn in a way.

James's voice slowly turned into a whisper, "Why didn't anyone tell me I was dead?"

Harry looked away.

"Everyone decided to hide it from me… even you…" James felt his anger returning. He didn't feel bad for yelling at Harry in the slightest. In fact, quite the opposite, it felt wonderful to see that shamed look on Harry's face. He wanted Harry to feel bad. James wanted to keep yelling until Harry, no, everyone, felt just as upset as he did.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't think-"

"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME!"

"Because!" Harry suddenly yelled, and he emphasized his next words strongly, "It was too much for you!"

The look of rage on James's face melted instantly and was replaced with a look of surprise.

"This is exactly why we couldn't tell you. You can't handle it! How would you have reacted if we had told you the minute you arrived here that you were deceased? You would have freaked out, just like you are now! You know why we couldn't tell you!"

"So you just decided to leave me in the dark?"

"If it meant that you were safe from the truth!" Harry's tone softened a bit. He knew better than anybody what it was like to be shielded from the truth. "No one wanted you to worry, that's all. You know that Dumbledore and Lupin only had your best interests at heart!"

James didn't answer, but slowly slid back down the alleyway wall and onto the cobblestone floor. He leaned against the brick, feeling dazed and confused. Harry slowly sat down beside him. Neither spoke for quite a while. They just listened to the sound of passerby and shoppers within the streets.

Finally James broke the silence. "Sirius is dead, isn't he?"

Harry's silence answered the question.

James's throat constricted tightly, "And Lily?"

Harry didn't answer again.

James's chest felt tight, "No…" he tried to meet Harry's gaze but Harry wouldn't look at him. An overwhelming wave of pain was threatening to drown him and it was making it hard for James to breathe. "Not Lily. Not her." Harry still refused to look at him. "Anybody… anybody but her…" He put his head in his hands and clenched his hair with his fists until his knuckles where white.

There was a moment of silence where James struggled to take it all in. "And Sirius. Why Sirius?" Why, indeed? Why his best friend? And Lily too… what had she ever done to share his fate? How could it be that everyone around him, the people he desperately cared about, were going to end up six feet under?

The shock was wearing off and a flooding pool of emotions was threatening to drown him. He was half ready to rip his nails into his chest and tear his heart out to if it meant it would make this overwhelming pain go away.

"You have a story to tell me, don't you?" James whispered quietly.

"..."

"How did it happen?" James took a deep breath. "No more secrets and no more lies. Tell me. I want to know everything."

James was oddly still and quiet as Harry began to tell the story of his father's demise. Harry didn't quite know all the details himself, but he told James all he knew, from the Order of the Phoenix to them going into hiding. But decided at the last minute to leave out any information about Peter's betrayal, making it sound more along the lines that some unknown person had sold them out. He didn't know why, but it just felt like it wasn't right to tell James that one of his current best friends, in his present time, would one day betray him. The thought might cause James to ensue chaos when he got back… if he got back. Finally, he told James the last of what he knew; from his father's own death to Harry's defeat of Voldemort. And Harry showed him the scar on his head.

Harry didn't look at James but waited with bated breath for him to say something. But he said nothing.

They sat in silence for what felt like a long time until Harry was able to swallow the lump in his throat and whisper, "I'm sorry."

James looked at him very suddenly. "For what?"

His mind automatically thought, "for being responsible for it all." But he couldn't get the words out because the lump was back in his throat.

"Honestly" James sighed, "It bothers me… knowing that we die at the hand of Voldemort. But honestly, knowing that we do it for you… doesn't bother me so much." James then caught Harry by surprise as a sad grin spread across his face.

Harry felt selfish when he realized that he felt somewhat comforted in knowing that he wasn't the only one who was carrying this overwhelming feeling of loss in his heart.

"We'd better get back. I bet Molly's having a cow from worry." James said softly. He slowly got to his feet and then reached out a hand down towards Harry. He grabbed it and James helped hoist Harry to his feet.

"Thanks. For telling me the truth."

"Er, your welcome… I guess." Harry didn't feel like James should be thanking him, he wasn't sure if he had made things better or worse.

You know, we still need to have a Quidditch rematch."

"Just not in the house this time, okay?" Harry agreed as they began to walk down the alley and back towards the sunlit street.

"Aw… but where's the fun in that?"