Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel or any of the recognizable characters or places. So no owning Jondy or Alec, though that'd be fun! ^_^ Season Two would've been very different, though... ^_~

A/N: Set a few days after "Two." Thanks for all the reviews, everyone, I love them all!

So Insecure

Without a sense of confidence

I'm convinced that there's just
too much pressure to take.
I felt this way before,
so insecure.

-"Crawling" by Linkin Park

Instead of heading for the stairs that would lead him to the front door, Alec headed straight back toward the window at the end of the hallway. Usually he eavesdropped on his fellow apartment building dwellers out of habit (every bit of information was important information according to Manticore), but tonight he ignored the sounds and smells pouring out from under the other doors. He was single-minded, focused on his main objective of getting those pills before Jondy got any worse.

When he reached the window, he jerked it open, ruining the old sloppy paint job that had sealed it shut. The coolness poured in, but Alec was unaffected. He was built to endure worse temperatures than this, and having spent most of his childhood in frozen forests and cold, sterile environments, the Seattle night wasn't anything special. Still, for show he threw on his jacket and climbed through the window, lithe and silent so as not to disturb his neighbors. Of course, most of them were stoned or sinking to the bottom of a bottle, so he wasn't too concerned.

The fire escape was old, and it creaked ominously with his weight, but he didn't stay on any level long enough to overstress it. Like a gymnast, he swung over the first bar and dropped to the next, repeating the action until he was at street level. Although it was more dramatic, this exit had actually taken less time than if he had gone through the front door. Here, he could put his transgenic abilities to use without worrying if someone was watching. The building opposite showed only a brick wall, no windows.

Alec pulled the collar of his jacket up higher, hiding his barcode, and blurred to the street. Freedmont Street wasn't far from here, but there was the possibility that Jondy's supplier wouldn't be there. If she wasn't, Alec wasn't exactly sure where he would go. Max might've been a possibility since he knew where she lived now (Jam Pony personnel files were very easy to get into when you were buddy-buddy with the boss), but since he didn't know if she had ever had the seizures problem. Even if she had, Manticore would've given her the implant during her summer camp-out at the facility and she probably wouldn't have kept any extra tryptophan lying around.

Damn, thinking about Max reminded him of information he was keeping from Jondy. He had been blocking it out, not really wanting to think about it, but now it surfaced as he walked toward Freedmont Street. Running would draw too much attention to himself at this time of night in this part of town, and he didn't want the hovering security droids coming after him.

After getting his job at Jam Pony, sneaking into Normal's files had been easy, like administering heavy fire on a pack of mindless grunts. Sure, he could've just tailed Max back to her apartment, but she might've noticed him and then how would he explain the stalking adequately? Oh, yeah, your sister's letting me stay in her apartment so I can help her find you because she's really busy working odd jobs at clubs and bars and I needed a place to stay? He could see that going over well, because, you know, Max loved him so much. But now he knew where she lived, and it hadn't cost him life and limb.

Giving the information to Jondy, though, might mean he was out of an apartment since Jondy would want to speed straight over to Max and have a reunion. Then they would talk about him, and Max would brainwash Jonds into understanding exactly what an ass he was, and then Jondy would kick him and probably refuse to talk to him anymore.

But maybe she wouldn't.

Jondy was different than anyone he had met before. He had told her about a lot of the awful things he had done, both in and out of Manticore, and she hadn't been repulsed by him. She hadn't even turned her nose up at him or assumed a holier-than-thou attitude. Hell, he had even told her about how he had almost killed Max and cost her a chance to be happy again, and she had taken that in stride. She hadn't liked it, but she hadn't screamed about how terrible he was. No, she treated him like…like a person.

Alec sucked in a tight breath of cold autumn air. A person. He couldn't remember anyone who knew what he was treating him like he was just another guy, another human taking up breathing space on this hunk of space waste. Rachel…His fists clenched. Rachel had liked him, had loved him, but when she found out that he wasn't what he said he was…He had seen it all over her face, the revulsion, the hate, the fear and betrayal. He didn't have to worry about that with Jondy—not that Jondy liked him like that! She couldn't, not with what he had done, but she still didn't think of him as a monster. But Jondy knew that he didn't have many principles and that he could kill a human with a toothpick, and she didn't hate him.

No, Jondy laid on the couch with him, her feet in his lap, and watched Godzilla marathons in the original Japanese. She tossed her lavender-scented hair and told him that he could be the amoral Indiana Jones to her short-ass version of Alice from something weird called Resident Evil that she told him she would show him when she found a copy. He could now make a roast beef dinner and knew that you needed to wait until a cake was cool to ice it because of her.

If he told her that he knew where Max lived, he might lose all of that, lose her, and he wasn't sure if he could do that just yet. Maybe it was selfish and she'd hate him for it later, but he couldn't...

Alec looked back at their apartment building and picked up the pace. He couldn't stand thinking about something happening to Jondy while he was trying to keep up appearances and not blur the whole way the Freedmont Street. Shit. He had forgotten to ask her the exact address. Hopefully there would be some kind of makeshift pharmacist sign or something.

He glanced down at his phone while he walked, wondering if she had texted him. No, nothing. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it meant she was fine. Or that she was shaking so bad she couldn't punch the buttons.

Speeding up, Alec turned onto Freedmont Street and started looking for anything pharmaceutical in nature. He didn't see anything immediately, so he turned to his other senses. He needed a medicinal smell, anything that smell strongly of Advil and penicillin and whatever else you would find in a pharmacy. After walking down the street a way, he picked up a faint smell of medicine.

Following it, he soon came to a nondescript door, just another spot on the wall, but this one had a green cross-thing over it, like a green medic cross. From what he could tell, that was the pharmacist symbol these days; he had seen it on a few other buildings.

Alec rapped on the door and listened intently as someone came to answer it. The door opened cautiously but caught on a heavy chain after moving only a few inches. A suspicious dark brown eye peered at him from over a short, caramel-colored nose.

"What do you want?"

"Tryptophan," he said bluntly, not really liking her tone. "All you have."

"Look, I don't even know you, and I don't know what you're talking about." She started to close the door.

He jammed his foot in the opening and almost popped the door off of its chain. "Shut up, please. Jondy sent me, and yes, you do." Putting his hand on the door, he leaned in closer. "Your name's Eloise Termane, you supply tryptophan to a blond woman about a head and a half shorter than me, and you're going to give me what you would've given her right now. Jondy would've come herself, but she's a little busy right now." He didn't know how much this woman knew about Jondy's condition, and he didn't want to give away anything that she hadn't.

The woman stopped trying to futilely push the door closed. Her expression changed to one of genuine concern. "Is it the seizures?" When he didn't answer, she nodded. "I understand. Wait a moment."

"I'll wait with the door open."

"Suit yourself," she said and moved off down a dimly lit hallway. Alec heard a little girl's voice asking her what was going on before the woman shushed her. He leaned against the door, wishing she would hurry up.

When she came back, she kept the door chained, but she handed him a large white bottle. "There. If she's still seizing when you get back, crumble some of the pills into a glass of milk and make her drink all of it. And I mean all of it." She frowned at him. "If it wasn't her…"

"I know. She has that effect on people." He took the bottle from her. "Thanks."

"She owes me fifty dollars," Termane said. Those hard, dark eyes softened for a moment. "Take care of her."

"I will."

He removed his foot from the door, and it was immediately slammed in his face. Jondy kept the oddest company…


A/N: I've opened a blog! It's on Livejournal under the name stratagem22. The journal is called The Plan, and the link is in my profile, under my homepage and in my info. I'm been keeping up with what I'm working on and current story ideas and my NaNoWriMo count, so check it out! I think I'm going to start featuring previews of my chapters. Also, I have baby guinea pigs and sometimes I put up pics of them. ^_~ Some of my OC characters will get pics put up every now and then and you're welcome to yell at me to update, so check it out!