No, the chapter title is not a mistake.


Okay, a temporarily disabled teen thought to himself. Let's take stock of the problem here. I wanted to go to T.K.'s house to talk to him about the basketball team at school. When he opened the door, his psycho-ass mother tied me up and dragged me in. From there, I got bitched at from all directions before being dragged into a car and over to Ken's house.

And let's not forget that Ken himself is not very happy with me either after he found out that I talked to someone about his and T.K.'s cage fight. Now, here I am, sitting on the couch in Ken's living room, looking back at two of the most heated glares I think I've ever seen.

Someone help me.

Indeed, the spike-haired teen sweat profusely as Ken Ichijouji and Takeru Takaishi, likely the two most irate teenagers in the world at the moment, stared at him with eyes so intense with rage that he could swear that they were looking directly into his soul and pondering the various ways they could kill the teen and leave no forensic evidence.

And Ken was studying to be a police officer. He could easily make it happen.

Moments of silence passed. Ken slowly drummed his fingers against his arm in thought. T.K. tapped his foot against the floor in a similar fashion. Davis, still bound by the rope that the head of the Takaishi household captured him with, could only sit and wonder. And wait.

And hope to God that he'd get out of the apartment alive.

While Ken and T.K. pondered what to do with the idiot, as the two wordlessly agreed to call him, the better halves of the two certainly weren't acting like it. Kari and Yolei exchanged glares with one another.

"So, whore..." Yolei growled. "Who invited you here anyway?"

"Your boy-bitch, that's who." Kari answered.

"Watch your mouth, little girl. You never know when you're going to get the hell beaten out of you because of the shit that might come out of it."

Kari rolled her eyes."Oh please. If you had a big enough set to do anything, you'd have done it by now, rather than run your mouth like always."

Yolei, rather than immediately retorting, retreated quickly into her boyfriend's bedroom and slammed the door. Kari stood and stared dumbfounded while a series of dull thumps came from the other side.

"Uh...what is she doing?"

Both Ken and T.K. turned to regard the pink-adoring teen and shrugged. Their priorities were still primarily focused on the moron in rope.

"You know, Davis." Ken said, his eyebrow twitching slightly. "You never answered my question."

If Davis could've scratched his head, he would've. "Uh...what question?"

A small sneer formed on his face. The teens in the room that weren't Ken shuddered a bit. "Don't you remember? I asked you last night. I suppose I could repeat myself this one time."

"Uh..."

A knock came from the front door. T.K. walked over to it. "That's probably my mom. I asked her to pick up come lunch for us. Do you mind if I let her in?"

"No," Ken shook his head. "Go ahead."

T.K. opened said front door, revealing said mother with said lunch. Said.

Natsuko held out a pair of plastic bags. "I hope you guys don't mind, but I picked up a few sandwiches from the store down the street. So, has BitchFest 20XX started yet?"

T.K. shook his head as he took the bags from her. "Not yet. You're just in time."

The door to Ken's bedroom flew open suddenly. The four teens and one adult turned toward the now exposed room. Or at least, it would've been if it weren't for the teen standing in the doorway. The group raised a collective eyebrow at the sight before them. Yolei had hastily changed outfits, though one wouldn't have been able to tell. She stood before the group in a purple tuxedo with a white button-down shirt and purple tie. Her hand held a black cane, while a purple fedora sat on her head.

"Damn..." Kari said. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Is that my Halloween costume from last year?" Ken asked rather incredulously.

Yolei scoffed a bit. "Ahem. Let us pray the 'Pimp's Prayer'." Faces fell in disbelief at Yolei's statement. Said lavender-haired teen tucked the cane under an arm and placed her hands together in front of her. She slowly strolled into the room and toward Kari as she spoke.

"Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch. And guide my hand and make it strong, Lord, so that she might learn a ho's place. Amen." She bowed, signaling the end of her 'prayer'.

"Amen! Yeah!" Davis shouted from the couch. The other five glared in his general direction. "Sorry...kinda got into the moment..."

Yolei turned back toward the brunette before her and saw the perfect opportunity. She reared her hand back and prepared to finish the ritual. Before she could, though, Ken took notice and hastily walked over to her, grabbing her wrist. The two began a silent, expression-only argument while Natsuko, Kari and T.K. continued to eye the bound teen.

"Anyway..." Kari eventually said, breaking the silence. "Where were we?"

T.K. picked up a finger. "We were about to bitch Davis out for opening his mouth, I think." He turned to the silent bickerers. "Right?"

Said teens snapped away from one another, putting on an appearance that betrayed their argument.

"Uh...Right." Ken said before turning his attention back toward the roped redhead. "Now then...What in the bloody blue hell's mother of damnation were you thinking opening your mouth?"

If Davis could've scratched his head, he would've. "Uh...think you can fit another swear somewhere in there?"

"I'm serious, Davis!" Ken shouted. Natsuko took the opportunity to grab one of the convenience store sandwiches and commence to chomping. "Do you realize what kind of situation you've put the four of us in by talking to a television station?" Ken made sure to emphasize the last two words of his sentence in an attempt at bringing the whole thing into perspective.

T.K. chose to chime in. "Because you felt the need to say something, now we're expected to air out our dirty laundry, laundry that shouldn't have been dirty from the start..." He looked at the two teenage ladies, who both shifted uncomfortably on their feet. "...in front of the whole goddamn world!"

Kari's turn. "It wasn't bad enough for us after the whole Digital World debacle, was it? Did you think that we'd get more attention than we need and, by extension, you'd end up getting more too?"

Yolei. "This whole thing was supposed to be a private matter between the four of us, Davis! Now the whole world's gonna think we're incredible idiots who signed on for this whole thing for a paycheck!"

"You know..." Natsuko said, her mouth half full of sandwich. "These things aren't half bad." Five teens shot her unamused looks at her attempt to break the tension.

"Keep looking at me like that, T.K., and you won't be playing basketball any time soon."

Five flat looks quickly dropped to four.

Davis wriggled on the couch a bit, sweating a bit. "Look, this isn't what you guys think!"

"Oh really?" Ken asked, venom beginning to drip from his words. "Then what exactly are we supposed to think?"

"It's not completely my fault! I didn't talk to anybody at a TV station!"

"Then who did you talk to?" Kari asked. Yolei opted to walk over to Natsuko and grab a sandwich for herself.

Davis' sweat glands picked up a little more, causing unpleasant friction between his skin and the rope. "Uh...a guy..."

T.K. raised an eyebrow. "What guy?"

The sweat glands in question cranked things up to eleven. "A guy...we know...who might...know a guy...in the TV business..."

Everyone not named Takeru raised an eyebrow to join his. If nothing else, Davis played the "Vague" card very well.

"Who thoo we thow thaa thowth thomonth ith thhe theevee bidth?" Yolei asked through a full mouth.

"Chew, swallow, then try again." Ken said.

Yolei did as she was told. "That's what she said." Five bodies jerked a bit. "Anyway, who do we know that knows someone in the TV biz?"

Kari shrugged. "I don't know anyone."

Ken shook his head. "Me neither."

A few moments of silence passed while the teens considered the riddle. Eventually, however, something finally occurred to one person.

"T.K..." Natsuko said. "Isn't your father still working at that TV station?"

"Yeah..." T.K. let the thought brew for a few moments before finally realizing what she was getting at. "And dipshit over there said it was somebody we knew that knows him."

"So then, that could only leave one person in the world that he could've possibly talked to."

The answer then dawned on the remaining three teens. Ken, T.K., Kari and Yolei all looked at one another and spoke simultaneously and unanimously.

"Matt."

Natsuko passed out the remaining sandwiches. "You know, T.K., I remember Matt saying that he'd be coming home sometime today."

T.K.'s eyes bugged just as he opened the plastic pack containing freshly sealed deliciousness. "Really? We gotta go if we're gonna talk to him." The others silently nodded. Natsuko took the lead as the group filed out of the Ichijouji residence, save for one young teen.

"Hey!" Davis shouted after them. "What about me?"

Yolei ran back into the apartment. With a deep breath, she reared her hand back and struck Davis on the cheek with as much force as she could muster. Immediately after making contact, she held her hands in front of her and bowed once again before uttering a single word.

"Amen."

Yolei once again ran, this time out of the apartment. Davis sat unmoving until the door closed completely.

So...he thought to himself. You got yourself tied up. You got slapped hard. You got left behind while still tied up, and you didn't even get a sammitch.

Two words summed up his situation accurately.

This sucks.