~Kurt~
Kurt was almost finished with his last-minute plans before he had to leave. He'd managed to make himself look presentable enough to go down to the police station and fill out a few sheets of paper work to provide information to legally log Sam's pass into the system. Though he had to admit it wasn't much fun to be passed by many people, all looking concerned at his trying to seem fine even though he was clearly a mess. Kurt was sure he must have looked terrible to the human eye. His clothes only half dressing him correctly; his face all blotchy and red with undesired bodily fluids leaking from places he wasn't sure even could produce them.
After that whole debacle was over, he'd made his way to the edge of town to visit Sam's parents. Kurt tried not to burst into tears from just seeing the misleading cheerful Christmas lights and inflatable Christmas characters that were placed around the front lawn. His parent's house was small, too small for even one person in Kurt's opinion. When he'd first come to Sam's parents house he'd been a bit worried to finally meet them, having only met Sam's grandmother, who'd become his legal guardian when he moved out to Ohio back in their high school years.
He'd been taken aback, though, when he stepped inside their tiny apartment. Their home was warmly decorated and smelled in a constant state of something being baked. The house seemed to fit Sam's parent's personalities very well. It was charming, cute and old fashioned, just like them.
Of course Sam's parents themselves were quite there own little characters indeed.
The instant Kurt was introduced to Sam's mother she scooped him up into a hug, her arms wrapping protectively around Kurt as though he were her own son. He was met with a kiss on the cheek and instant mindless chatter about the newfound things that airplanes did, from the last time she herself had been on one. It wasn't long before Kurt was dragged into the kitchen and almost forced to eat a few cookies and drink milk, despite Sam telling his mother constantly that he wasn't hungry. Kurt knew his own attempts to stop the baked goods coming his way were in vain so he didn't even attempt them, instead enjoying the comfortable hospitality.
Sam's father had been another story entirely. Unlike Sam's cute and quiet mother, Sam's father was one that was high in energy and liked to entertain. When he arrived at the small house he immediately found us all in the kitchen, still wearing a hand-knit red scarf around his neck, an old-timely hat that looked like it had been kicked around, and shoes to match, all of which were wet from the rain pouring outside on that day.He swooped into the kitchen and grabbed his wife's hand, humming a tune and spinning her once in a slow ball room dance attempt before kissing her gently on the cheek.
It was easy to see the care and love in their eyes for one another. Sam had, of course, been holding his head in his hands with embarrassment burning bright on his cheeks at the time. Kurt couldn't have understood why he was embarrassed at all, though. Sam's parents were what he loved about older romance movie loves. They all seemed so genuine, and of the characters were continuously happy to be with one another. It was the romance Kurt had always dreamed of having.
Of course, the romance he'd found with Sam had been different than what Kurt saw in the boy's parents. It was more than just an old love constantly blooming. It had been magic, pure unadulterated magic.
Kurt tried not to think about that fact as he stepped up to the door of the older house and knocked lightly. He was met at the door almost instantly by the same blonde haired woman Kurt had come to love.
"Kurt, dear, I-"But she hadn't gotten farther than that. She placed a hand over her mouth to attempt hiding a choked sob before pulling Kurt close to her.
Kurt knew, yet somehow didn't know, how she felt. He cried too, for most of the same reasons she did. He cried because Sam was a loved one; someone he'd shared his life with and whom he cared for more than almost anything, the only person higher being his own father. Yet Sam's mother had more of a reason to cry. Not only had she loved him, she had raised him and seen him grow up. Kurt was certain the woman never planned to outlive her son and he was sure she was shaken to her very core, just as well as Kurt was.
Luckily before the sob fest could get too heavy and create a front door jam, Sam's father came up behind Sam's mother. He barely touched her shoulder, and she fell away from Kurt's skinny arms and into those of her husband. Kurt couldn't bear to think of the fact that he'd almost had that, a husband, but hadn't made it. Instead, he focused on the fact that even Sam's father was no longer the peppy man with a kick in his step as Kurt had seen so many times. He now wore a deep frown, causing wrinkles Kurt had never seen until now to show. The light had seemed to go out of his eyes and he seemed tired, almost weary.
"Please come in, I'm sure there's much to speak of." He said gravely, tugging on the last of Kurt's heart strings.
Kurt followed them into the tiny box of a living room and sat down on the couch opposite Sam's parents. For a while they were silent, Kurt just gazing around at the inside decor, trying to find some hint of life in the well detailed lace and fabrics that ran around the room. Even the room smelled bland from its lack of the usual baking.
When the group was finally able to form words, all of them had a good cry. Even Sam's father shed a few tears, wiping them away quickly before he could let them run from his eyes.Sam's mother grasped Kurt's hand halfway through their conversation. Obviously, the kind woman could sense the terrible state of hurt and pain Kurt was in.
Slowly the conversation led to more serious matters as Kurt handed over the responsibility of Sam's funeral to be arranged by them. He knew they would have wanted that, and that he could not handle it himself. When they'd gotten all other matters taken care of, Kurt calmly introduced the fact that he wouldn't be able to visit for a while as he was going back to Ohio to see his own father. They wished him the best of luck and made him promise to visit Sam's Grandma Billy while he was there and give her an update on home in California.
Kurt was glad when he finally left Sam's parents house, needing to get some packing done and take down their Christmas lights before he had to leave the next day. He drove home carefully, not listening to music, knowing somehow that every song would relate to him, and Kurt couldn't handle that while he was driving.
When he passed by Sam's work offices, he stopped to park and glare at the building. He knew it held Sam's jerk of a boss, Mr. Hopps, inside. The man Kurt was blaming for Sam's death. If he'd not been such a homophobe and let Sam come home to him like he was supposed to that night then the accident may have still happened, but Sam wouldn't have been in it.
He had to leave before he did something he'd regret. He had felt the wash of pain sweep through him, a cloud of anger hanging over head to mix dreadfully with his feelings of anguish. Kurt knew that having a raging fit over Sam's boss would do him no good, seeing as it would never bring his love back to him.
When he finally got back to their apartment safe and sound, Kurt instantly began tackling the Christmas decorations, sick of looking at the reminders of what happened on his least favorite holiday. He didn't want to pretend anymore that things were okay, because they weren't. He didn't want to hide behind false Christmas cheer, at least not here in this apartment. All of these things seemed to barricade down onto him; a constant reminder that he was now very much alone. Kurt the most important Christmas decorations into his luggage, being mindful of what he knew the airport security wouldn't let he take with him, and decided that maybe he'd find a use for it back in Ohio. After all, that's where the rest of his bad memories were.
The next morning Kurt awoke slowly, not wanting to rise from the soft, warm comfort his and Sam's bed offered him. The sheets were soft, and the mattress was firm yet durable at the same time. The pillows next to him still had that 'Sam' smell that surrounded him and gave him the feeling that maybe he wasn't really alone after all. He didn't want to get up and face the truth, yet again, that his beloved wasn't actually going to be there next to him when he arose. Sleepily, Kurt pulled Sam's pillow close to him, snuggling the squishy lump of cotton and breathing in the faint scent it held.
Eventually, the small brunette boy did rise from his sleep, rubbing his eyes and making his way to the bathroom for his normal morning routine, or at least as normal as he could get since Sam's passing. It took him a few minutes of stumbling around his bare-of-Christmas apartment to realize that he was going to be leaving today. When the realization hit him, he stopped cold. Kurt was in the kitchen, though suddenly he wasn't feeling as hungry as he had before.
Kurt's stomach dropped about two levels so he was pretty sure it was now lodged deeply into his knee caps. He realized then, all in one second, that he'd have to see his father, his hometown of Ohio, and the place all his terrible thoughts and days resided. A town he hadn't seen in four years now. Worst of all, he would have to face his step brother, Finn Hudson, whom he hadn't had any contact with at all in the past four years.
He'd had little contact with the rest of his friends; usually just an email every year or so. Sometimes he'd catch glimpses of them on Facebook or something, even though he'd deleted them all, wanting to start anew with Sam and forget everything that happened back in Ohio.
But Finn Finn Hudson was a different story. He had absolutely no contact at all with him, hadn't seen anything about him, heard from him, or heard about him. He made a point to clearly avoid any conversations involving Finn with his father over the phone, and had made sure there was absolutely no trace left of him in his life. It was what Kurt had needed to be here with Sam, to move away from Ohio and every bad thing that had ever happened to him well almost every bad thing. He didn't even know what Finn looked like nowadays. It was what had Kept Kurt stable all these years here with Sam. No contact with Finn was the perfect amount of contact to create a happy and healthy life.
But now he was going back. Back into that place he'd fought so hard just to escape. That's what had hit him the hardest. Kurt shuddered to himself and decided that he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. Besides, there was a very good chance that Finn would be off in whatever collage he was attending; smooching with some tramp he met. Or better yet, maybe he'd gotten back together with Rachel. For some reason, the thought of Finn and Rachel's old off-and-on relationship continuing for all of these years made him smile, choke back a giggle, then burst out in laughter.
At first Kurt was amazed; he hadn't been able to laugh at anything these past days since Sam's passing, and yet the most insignificant part of his past had made him bubble up and actually feel good to the point where he was able to laugh. Perhaps going back to Ohio wouldn't be all bad, maybe he'd get a few more good laughs out of it at least.
The rest of Kurt's afternoon was filled with shuffling around his house to find anything he might need to take with him. He only got about half an hours peace before he had to leave to head to the airport, and even that wasn't very easing on his troubled mind. The first few things that flooded into his mind were about not packing something he needed and being all the way in Ohio without it. The next things he thought of were things that could happen while he was away. He and Sam didn't own any pets, so that wasn't something to be concerned with, but the apartment could catch fire, or there could be a flood or something equally terrible.
When Kurt got over that, the last bad thought he had while he was heading out the door was that he had to go back to Ohio, and that itself was worse than a flood or fire.
He hadn't wanted to leave his car alone at the airport so he decided to take a taxi, despite his mental protests of how unsanitary they were. When he arrived, he actually didn't have any trouble getting through security and checking in his bags. It wasn't until he was on the plane itself, sat in one of the aisle seats next to another young man, that Kurt had trouble. He hated flying, and wasn't sure why his memory had registered that until now. Perhaps, because he was too worried about going back and too caught up in the hurt of Sam's passing, he hadn't really thought of it until he was strapped into the giant piece of metal, hands griping the armrests of his seat, knuckles going white and face paling.
"You're not good with flying are you?" Kurt looked over to the seat next to him where Sam was gently smiling at him, his warm features showing concern, yet amusement, from Kurt's struggle.
"No, especially after all the lessons of terrible plane crashes on the morning news." Kurt whispered to him harshly, as if speaking normally would give the plane its own ideas and drop them from what felt like a billion feet in the air.
Kurt was petrified, soaring high in the air in a piece of metal that technically, due to the laws of gravity, shouldn't be able to fly in the first place. He knew it had been the right thing to do though, after all, he and Sam needed a new start. After everything they had done to get here, Kurt wasn't going to ruin it by saying that he didn't want to go because he was afraid of flying. He just had to calm himself down.
Of course, that was easy enough to do when he heard the soft click of their small window shutter closing so Kurt could no longer see anything outside. Sam leaned over next to Kurt, taking his hand and wrapping an arm around Kurt's shoulders caringly. Kurt's tension lessened as he sagged against Sam, letting the blonde completely fill his senses. It wasn't long until Kurt had fallen asleep, and Sam had to ask the flight attendant if he could have one of those airplane blankets to cover the smaller boy that leaned against his shoulder in a calm state of peace.
"Are you okay?" Kurt blinked, shaken out of his reverie by the other male sitting next to him. Kurt was saddened instantly from the realization that Sam should have been sitting there next to him instead. Kurt shook his head negatively to signal that he wasn't okay.
He asked the flight attendants if they had any tissues as he cleaned himself back up into a respectable state, yet still held onto the fear of flying. He didn't get a minute of rest through the entire flight; not even watching the movie they had on could calm his nerves. The guy next to him had fallen asleep awhile ago, leaving Kurt feeling completely alone with his fear. Of course, he was in the aisle seat so he couldn't exactly reach over and close the window like Sam had for him. Plus, he was pretty sure he'd pass out if he actually had to look directly out of it. He sat in pretty much one tense position the entire way there, then bolted off of the plane as fast as he could when it landed.
He'd called his dad a few minutes before he left home in California to let him know what time he'd be landing in Ohio and what time he could expect him to be at the house. The first thing to do was to find out where to get his luggage at. There were large conveyer belts going around in circles carrying different sizes of bags and packs. There was a man standing behind a desk in the middle of the conveyer belts to direct people where their bags would be located depending on which flights they had. When Kurt asked him where his luggage would be, the man pulled his light blue shirt sleeves up and shuffled though some papers before pointing him in the direction he needed to go to find his personal belongings.
When Kurt found all of his stuff, he decided that he wouldn't be getting any further if he didn't have some sort of caffeine. He stopped at the coffee shop just inside the front of the airport and grabbed a quick-fix coffee before heading outside to grab a cab. He was so tired at this point from lack of sleep on the plane that he was barely able to keep his eyes open. The soothing motion of the cab made him feel even more tired. He felt the stinging take effect on his eyes and his eye lids become heavy. Kurt had to actually shake his head to keep himself awake long enough to get through the cab ride. Luckily, Lima was a small town and you could get anywhere within half and hour, and that was if you were driving really slowly.
When the cab pulled up outside his old house, Kurt paid for his ride and grabbed his luggage. He gave small thanks and a wave as the driver pulled away. Kurt took in a deep breath and turned, powder white snow crunching under his feet, compressing together and transforming from flakey and soft to a hard chunk of ice.
Kurt looked up at the house. It hadn't changed much since he left. His dad hadn't put up their Christmas lights, probably knowing that without Kurt there to tell him to move something over just a bit then move it back because it looked better there, he hadn't a change of making the display exactly the way it used to be. Kurt made a mental note to see if they could put them up together.
The house itself was the same two story dressed up pile of bricks that it used to be. The window out front was still slightly off center, making Kurt instantly as crazy as it used to whenever he looked at it. The roof had icicles hanging from the corners as it had always come to adorn naturally during winter. The sidewalk leading up to the door was the same, except for the fact that it was covered over with sheets of ice and thin piles of snow. Kurt almost fell three times on his way up to the door. He breathed a sigh of relief that he'd made it without falling flat on his face, as he had many a time before.
He didn't have to wait long after he rang the bell for his call to be answered. He wrung his hands nervously around his scarf while he waited, sighing in relief when he could make out the shape of someone coming to the door through the frosted glass of the door. Carol was the first one to see him, after four years of completely disappearing from the world of Ohio. She'd gained only a few more love-wrinkles since the last time Kurt had seen her. Small strands of grey, barely visible, were blended in with her dark brunette hair. She'd kept it short all these years, yet had decided that growing it to her shoulders was an appropriate length.
Kurt was met with a warm, motherly smile he'd only seen from Sam's mother in the past four years. He was pulled to the woman with gentle care and a loving embrace, which only the intent of a mother could give. She smelled sweet from her light perfume and Kurt sank into her, feeling the first hints of home taking effect. She pulled away and held him at arms length to look him over briefly before ushering him inside.
"Your father has been dying to see you ever since you told him you were coming. Well, he's been dying to see you for longer than that, but he's gone crazy with preparing since he heard you were coming home." She giggled slightly, grasping gently onto Kurt's shoulders and steering him in the direction of the kitchen.
Kurt sighed to himself as they walked down the halls. The walls were aligned with pictures of his past, from Kurt's youngest age to right after his high school graduation. He stopped walking to look at a few, Carol continuing on to let him have a moment to himself. There was one of him and his dad, Kurt sitting tucked under his father's arm as they leaned against the hood of one of the cars in the shop. That was when Kurt had been around the age of eleven, still swearing he was going to work with his father in his future. There was one of him and Sam at their graduation. He used to be upset at this picture, the two of them having been caught in a candid kiss, but now he knew to appreciate the memory because it wasn't going to last. The very last picture in the hall was one he hadn't seen in a long time, and it made him take in a sharp breath.
It was of him and Finn. It was taken only days before Kurt and Sam had left town. Kurt remembered that Sam had been in the kitchen, talking to his father about something. Kurt had been sitting on the couch with his pissed-off step brother. Finn had refused to speak to him then; knowing that Kurt was leaving had upset him to a point of no explanation. Carol had come at them with her digital camera, snapping picture after picture, trying to lighten the mood and ease the tension.
Like magic, within a few minutes they were taking goofy pictures of themselves. The one hanging proudly in the hall had been one where, after striking poses and Kurt pretending he was on America's Next Top Model, Finn had basically tackled him onto the couch, ending up with Kurt literally on top of Finn, the two of them cackling madly. They hadn't seen Carol take the picture of them until it was too late. They were in that very same described position, looking at each other with massive grins. Kurt sighed, this was the first thing he'd seen of Finn in a long time, and it had hit him harder than he expected it to.
"Kurt?" Kurt's head whipped around at the sound of his dad's voice. Burt Hummel hadn't changed much either, except that maybe his barely-there beer belly had grown the slightest bit. He wore a baseball cap on his head, dressed in his usual flannel apparel.
Just seeing his dad had made him drop the handle on his luggage and slide his carry on bag to the ground. Kurt rushed to his father, like he was five years old again and just getting out of his first day at Kindergarten. He slung his arms around his father's shoulder and pulled him close, feeling his dad's own hand closing gently around his back. Kurt knew his dad wasn't one for hugs, but he couldn't help it. This was the first time he'd seen him in four years. This was the only living person he cared for more than he had for Sam. Kurt wasn't ashamed to hug his dad, because it's what he'd needed so badly for four long years that it actually hurt.
"I missed you, dad." Kurt said in a choked up voice as he lay his chin on his dad's shoulder, sniffing as the saltwater tears started to fill up and irritate his eyes further.
"I missed you too, kid." That was all it took for Kurt to become that giant mess of tears he'd been for the past few days now. Only this time, it was multiplied from not only having Sam to cry over, but the fact that he'd been so overwhelmed from not being able to see his dad.
When Kurt and Burt had gotten themselves together enough, Kurt was told to go ahead and put his things in his old room. He had to walk through the living room, seeing that Carol had gotten new couches that went well with their new paint job. Well, maybe not new, but new to Kurt. Everything else was in the same place: TV at the head of the room, couches facing it and table in the middle to set drinks and stuff on. There were more pictures around the room, but Kurt had seen them all so many times before in the past that he could probably name them off by order around the room.
He smiled a bit as he walked down the darkened staircase, his hand reaching out and feeling along the wall for the light switch. When he found it, he flicked the switch upward and a bright sudden light filled the room, showing off the rest of the room's décor to Kurt's careful watching eye.
It had been left exactly the same as he'd last seen it. Walls the same shade of grayish-white he'd last painted it, his white furniture casting a sort of photo-shoot-type look to the room. Spare the few items he'd taken with him to California, it was exactly the same as he'd left it. He lined his luggage against the wall and unpacked his laptop to place on his old desk, sitting down in his desk chair and sighing contentedly. Home was always something that was missed; its only downfall was that it was in the state of Ohio, otherwise known as The Horror State.
He was called up for dinner a bit later, after he'd gotten done reacquainting himself with his room. He sat at his old spot at the dining table in the kitchen, next to his dad and Carol and across from an empty seat he had never before seen empty at a meal time. His dad gave him a small smile as Carol began to serve dinner. Mainly they ate in silence, Kurt knowing they were having a silent conversation, trying to get one another to say something to him. It was finally Carol that broke the silence.
"So, sweetie, it's been so long, we all have so much to catch up on!" Kurt looked at her thankfully for her attempt at trying to keep the conversation light.
"Yeah, I'm pretty tried though, from the plane ride, and I was hoping that we could hold off on catching up until tomorrow." Kurt said lowly, gently forking a piece of his chicken and shoving it in his mouth.
"That's just fine!" Carol said way too enthusiastically for her own good. "Tomorrow is when our Christmas holiday is starting." Kurt looked up at her with confusion written across his face.
"But Christmas has passed " Kurt honestly didn't want to have another Christmas holiday; he wanted to forget this holiday ever existed and crawl under a rock to hide from it in the upcoming years.
"Well, yes, but we've actually been celebrating the holiday the week after the real one, because that's the time when Finn usually comes home for winter break. Now that you're here, it's going to be just like old times." Sudden realization dawned on him as to why nothing was decorated around here. There was only one big thing that cut through his thoughts.
"F-Finn's coming here tomorrow?" Kurt stuttered and tripped over his own words, feeling butterflies rise in his stomach and start swarming around in a frenzied panic.
"Yeah, and get ready too, cause he usually brings home some girl he swears is the one and by the time break is over, their broken up and she's yelling as she storms out of the house at four AM." Burt chuckled at his step-son's behavior.
"Burt!" Carol scolded him for laughing. "Just because he doesn't have the best of luck when it comes to women doesn't mean anything! Besides, he's out of collage now and living on his own like a responsible adult. He doesn't have winter break this year but is just coming for his usual visit. No timed-schedual to go off of."
"I know, but he never disappoints for a show at four in the morning. Its reason enough to stay up all night and wait." Kurt smiled when Carol threw a piece of bread down the table playfully at him, the whole grain making a muffled soft smack as it hit his chest. Kurt couldn't help smiling. It was good that things hadn't changed since he'd left; they were still the worlds' dorkiest parents.
Soon enough, dinner was over and Kurt was excused to go downstairs and unpack his things, so he wouldn't have to watch sports with his dad or clean up with Carol. He normally would have, but he was just so exhausted that all he could think about was crashing. He quickly changed into some pajamas pulled from his luggage and slunk down into his old bed, the mattress still holding the shape Kurt had molded in it from sleeping in it all his life. It just sort of fit him, made him feel safe and comfortable. Of course, though, everything he held dearly had to end badly as a memory of Sam rose in his mind.
Kurt groaned as Sam gently nipped at his neck. His fingers played at the hem of the blonde's shirt, but not daring to dive under the fabric. It was at least the fiftieth time Sam had been here, but the first that Kurt had snuck him in, just because Sam had shown up in the middle of the night and told Kurt they were going to be spontaneous. At first, he'd exclaimed that they were going to run away to New York for the night and be back tomorrow, but luckily Kurt had demolished those plans and snuck Sam inside where they had preceded their acts of a genuine teenage make out.
"Kurt? What are you doing? I can hear you all the way in my ro-" Kurt and Sam both shot up as they turned to face Finn, standing shell shocked at the bottom of the stairs.
"Finn we were just, uh, Sam was...he left something here and needed it in the morning." Sam had nodded next to him furiously and Kurt thought he'd made a pretty convincing lie, after all Sam had been over at the house just a few hours earlier for dinner.
"Um, o-okay. I'm gonna go hide in my room and try to erase this from my memory." Finn quickly turned and bolted up the steps, trying to take them two at a time and tripping over his own feet on a few.
When he was out of sight, Kurt couldn't help but burst into laughter. Just the sheer look of shock on Finn's face had been enough to have him rolling for days. Sam tried to get him to stop laughing, but soon he couldn't help it and gave in to start laughing as well. It wasn't just a few good breaths of laughter, but a full-on roll of thunderous laughter that couldn't be stopped and only got stronger whenever it would die down and come back. They must've been laughing for a good five minutes until they were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Kurt's dad stood at the steps, arms crossed as he looked between the two teens.
They hadn't been in big trouble, but Kurt had been grounded for the rest of the week and Sam's mother had been called. Still to this day Kurt would swear it was worth the punishment because it was a memory he'd never forget.
A/N:
Yep, I left it as Sam. I've got a plan for Blaine's character. Shall be interesting, yes? Review's are always much appreciated!
