You're something beautiful
"A complex warming spell has been issued around Hogwarts School of witchcraft and Wizardry in the early hours of this morning. The ministry of magic had expressed concern, for the discomfort the students of Hogwarts have been experiencing, several times in the last week. Parents are thrilled to hear that the suffering their children have had to endure for the last few weeks is finally ov- Harry, are you even listening to me?"
It was a lovely Friday morning and generous amounts of sunlight were entering the castle. Hermione had been reading an article over the noise of bustling students in the great Hall. Everyone was gleefully talking about the wonderful surprise that had uplifted every student at Hogwarts; soft enchanted warmth had been spread throughout the grounds. She slammed the newspaper down in front of her and ignored the round moist patch emerging in the middle, coming from her morning cereal. Harry was still robotically nodding whilst staring past Hermione's bushy head, at the gloomy figure of Draco Malfoy across the hall.
Malfoy had been chewing the same piece of toast for the last ten minutes. When Malfoy first looked up, his face reddened when he saw the Harry was indiscreetly staring at him. The tense confusion pouring into Malfoy's features every time he looked up from his plate, darkly satisfied Harry as it confirmed that Draco had no idea what Harry's thoughts on him currently were. It had been two days since they had kissed.
Hermione turned round to see where Harry's attention was fixed and was not surprised at all to be looking at a cheerless Draco poking his morning toast. Sighing, Hermione turned round back to Harry. Knowing that Hermione's long awaited talk was about to be thrust upon him, Harry picked up his heavy fork and nudge his scrambled egg with discontent. He graciously waited for Hermione to begin talking.
When a few moments of silence between the pair followed, Harry muttered "I'm surprised you and Ron haven't talked to me about the 'me-and-Malfoy' situation yet."
Looking up from his plate, he saw Hermione's eyebrows were furrowed as she thought about what to say. She exhaled and said, in a too soft voice, "You kissed him. That's all...or is there more to it?" She asked this question politely; it sounded almost indifferent. However her brown eyes were wide with growing curiosity.
Harry tilted his head back down slowly and stared at his, now cold, breakfast. Yes. There was so much more to it. More than Hermione could possibly understand. Harry had always been obsessed with Draco ever since he turned down his arrogant offer of friendship in their first year. He had risked being expelled several times in just the first two years of Hogwarts for him; to duel Malfoy in the middle of the night and to question him in the second year. He had (unfortunately, there was no other word for it) stalked Malfoy in the sixth year. He was always determined to beat him at Quidditch, was horrifically jealous of his talent in Potions and tried to ignore the fact Malfoy was so refined and gorgeous. Harry was envious to how confidently Malfoy portrayed himself as he strutted around the castle, easily unaffected by the tragedy surrounding him; the ones that always seem to eat Harry alive.
Obviously, this mysterious icy exterior had vanished this year, replaced with a tense, mournful boy who floated from place to place, disregarding everyone's presence; apart from his friends…and Harry. Harry understood Malfoy and his interest in him increased dramatically in the last few months. Harry began to worry about him. Malfoy had become unreadable and weirdly delicate.
But when Hermione recently mentioned that Malfoy stared at Harry constantly, Harry became strangely happy…seemed that there was still something human about Draco after all.
And now, Harry was annoyed with himself. He should be feeling guilty because he 'gave Malfoy the wrong idea.' Instead he was feeling guilty because he gave Malfoy the right idea and was causing Malfoy all this unnecessary anguish simply because Harry did not have enough courage to go for Draco, like Harry quite obviously wanted to. Plus, Harry did not like admit he was being a coward. He reasoned pushing Draco away with him being a Death Eater's son. But that was the biggest load of bullshit and Harry knew it. Draco wasn't evil. He was just…unlucky…
Harry had accepted that there would be always something that oddly draws him to Malfoy long ago…but when Malfoy had kissed him, it all became too real too quickly.
Harry had become silent as he thought all this over, not looking up from his plate. So Hermione decided to continue speaking again several moments later.
"Quite honestly we're not sure what to make of it. I was certain Malfoy liked you long before I told you. And Ron…finds the fact youare holding back hilarious."
Hermione was happily eating her cereal again when Harry dropped his fork and looked at her angrily before hissing "Holding BACK?"
Hermione smiled merrily at Harry as she said "Oh come on Harry. He kissed you and when you found us, you were hopelessly confused and flustered. Plus, I know you've been thinking about it ever since."
Hermione's smiled widened when Harry blushed furiously and muttered quietly to himself. Hermione raised her eyebrows. Harry copied her expression mockingly. Harry pursed his lips, knowing he was better off just admitted he liked Draco. But he continued to be defiant since Hermione clearly enjoyed being all knowing and making others realise the obvious. Hermione sighed and her eyelashes fluttered downwards while she watched her hands as she placed her spoon back carefully in her empty bowl with a soft clang. When she looked back up at Harry, her eyes were filled with empathy rather than amusement. Harry frowned.
The babble of the students around them had drowned slightly since many of the students had already left. Hermione titled her head gently whilst earnestly saying "Harry, you either switch-off-and-ponder…" She exhaled through her nose, clearly about to say something she's been holding back for a while. "…or stare at Malfoy's pretty little face, when it isn't staring at you. And it's been that way for a long time."
Harry composed himself to look as blank as possible. Once again, Hermione had succeeded in knowing abso-fuckling-luetly everything. She shrugged and picked up her bag, taking her eyes off Harry for a moment. She squarely looked back at him and placed her hand on his balled fist. Hermione then, rather bluntly, said "It's true."
Harry slid his hand free, picked up his bag and slid the strap onto his shoulder. He huffed from the added weight. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw platinum blonde hair moving. Turning his head, Harry's green eyes followed Draco as he glumly left the table, following Pansy and Zabini rather reluctantly. Harry thought for a moment before looking Hermione straight in the eyes. "I'll talk to him after Potions, 'kay?"
Hermione smiled and nodded enthusiastically before they left the cosy Great Hall to head towards the dungeons.
xxxxxx
"Oh shit." Harry said quietly whilst picking up a piece of card that had been placed on a wooden table against the middle of the far left wall in his potion's classroom. 'Harry Potter' had been written on it in dark blue ink, next to another identical piece of card that had 'Draco Malfoy' written elegantly on it. Harry ignored Ron's quiet chuckle from behind.
Professor Slughorn strode in, followed by several students walking into the classroom who began searching for their name cards. Slughorn looked over the moon as he gestured to the pupils in the classroom to sit down.
"Now now, I've placed the new seating arrangements slightly early this year, because I thought some of the pairs had turned out quite, ahem, badly." The Professor narrowed his eyes as he watched Seamus and Zabini walk in, as they glared at each other. Three lessons ago, Zabini had called Seamus a Muggle-twat so Seamus discretely poured a potion into Zabini's bag which caused his hands to swell when he reached into it.
Then, the Potion professor's voice became a distant, insignificant murmur. When Harry followed Slughorn's eyes to see who he was glaring at, Harry saw the dashing blonde Slytherin wander into the classroom behind Zabini. He watched as Draco's light grey eyes scanned the room from the far right corner, around to the left. Draco saw that there were no spaces left to fill…apart from of course, the vacant seat next to Harry. Draco bit his lip slightly but tried his best to not change his expression as he walked forward, over to the dark table. He glided past Harry's seat and dropped into his own and leant the side of his forehead on the cold wall, thinking about how truly unbearable this was going to be.
Parchments fluttered across the classroom, three landing in front of every pair. It was a simple enough task. Slughorn walked around placing a dark pot on every table. Each contained a nearly complete love-potion antidote, which only needed to be stirred correctly to be finished. On one parchment was a list of the various complicated hand movements needed, each one matching to a certain ingredient or boiling temperature, and on the other parchment was instructions to how the Potion was made.
"Simply use the order of the instruction and the stirring movements needed; which you should all be familiar with by now. Write down the order you think is most suitable, confirm with me and then get going." He beamed at his class before turning his back to them as he headed for his desk, indicating that they may begin.
Draco reached out a pale shaking hand and pulled the three parchments towards him, knowing it was highly unlikely Potter knew what to do. He turned away from Harry to reach down into his bag to pull out his long emerald green quill. Draco smiled briefly, thinking about what it reminded him of. He did not see Harry tap the blank parchment they needed to fill out, replicating it, but he did hear Potter when he started to speak in that husky voice.
"I'll do it from step twenty-nine…that alright?" Harry wasn't looking at him as he spoke since he was leaning away from Draco into his own bag to pull out his things. Draco just nodded sharply when Harry glanced at him due to the lack of response.
The fact the pair didn't speak to each other in the classroom was even worse than when they had been in detention, since a loud rumble of noise was surrounding them this time; it made the silence between them enhanced and it separated them from everyone else. Draco was glad he had done the work set on this complicated piece on brewing since his mind was drowning because of Harry. Harry Harry Harry.
'Harry Potter is truly remarkable,' Draco thought bitterly a year ago. 'Not only he's the world's saviour, oh no. He's bloody dazzling too. Not that everyone notices…'
Draco smirked slightly as he worked, remembering how unnerved he was when he first noticed how good-looking Harry had become. Glancing at Potter as he concentrated on his work, Draco took in his features for the millionth time. He still wore those stupid round glasses and they usually concealed those sparkling eyes but when you're this close to him, you can see them shooting through. They contrasted with his jet black unruly hair, which he ran his hand through every now and then, forcing himself to concentrate. Also, he always seemed to be pouting.
Scents were rolling effortlessly from Harry; from his shampoo, his skin and his breath (since he was breathing rather heavily for some reason). Draco smelt a hint of apples and the familiar strong, heavy scents that were Harry himself.
When Draco was finished, he placed his quill down and stared at Harry's left hand which was sitting directly next to his own. Harry's skin was unnaturally luminous. Draco's mother always said that people with a great deal of magic running thought them had slightly sparkling skin. Draco glanced at his own pale skin and saw nothing but blunt washed-out flesh. He was nothing like Potter. You'd expect Potter to be really dark from prancing around in the grounds, forest and Quidditch pitch all the time but he only had a faint tan. 'Perhaps it was because it was winter. Must be fading.' Draco thought.
Then once again, their hands brushed when Harry unconsciously stretched his left arm out slightly. Not that they knew, but a parallel flashing force was sent up each of their spines and fell brutally into their stomachs, churning them tightly and forcing them to be at full alert of the other's presence. Bloody Weasley was sniggering again, having noticed the way the two boys' eyes shot up at one another after the brief contact. Both Harry and Draco had goosebumps, as they turned there attention back down towards the desk, even though the dungeons were strangely warm due to the newly established magic.
Halfway through the lesson, a screwed up piece of parchment floated through the miniscule gap between the boys' shoulders. Each noticed the disturbance and watched as it hovered momentarily over the table before falling feebly to the desk. It unravelled on its own accord. Written on it with roughly smudged black ink was;
H,
Stop being annoying. You're pissing me and Herm off.
R
Harry turned around to give Ron a piercing scowl which was contradicted by the blush that had jumped back onto Harry's face. He knew what the note was about. When seeing Harry's flushed face, Ron began hooting with laughter. Malfoy also turned round, as Ron leant his elbows on the table whilst burying his face in his hands, trying to cover his muffled laughter…the fact he was shaking gave him away. Hermione, who had somehow ended up being his partner, looked up from the Potion she was watching to roll her eyes at the two boys.
Towards the end of the lesson, something rather stupid happened. Zabini, who was sitting it front of Harry and Draco, turned round to swear at Seamus, since he had kicked Zabini in the shins on his way to the front desk. When he began insulting Seamus' boyfriend Dean, Seamus threw an inkpot at Zabini when he had his back turned. Draco saw this so stopped stirring the potions rapidly. He whipped out his wand to send a vanishing charm towards the inkpot as it flew across the room towards Blaise. Unfortunately, only the glass disappeared so the ink landed on everyone in the middle row. Slughorn, as usual, did not seem to care.
Laughing, Harry turned to Draco and completely forgot to hold their much easier to handle silence when he said "That made it better."
Draco grinned back at him and said "Better than glass smashing into someone's vulnerable little face."
As he said the last part, he leant forward and sharply poked the back of Zabini's head with his wand. Blaise twisted around slowly and muttered threateningly "Fuck you Draco." before turning back to his desk.
Draco shifted back into his seat and grinned at Harry again. But slowly, Draco's smile weakened and faded away as he stared into Harry's endless and devastatingly green eyes as they twinkled with amusement. Harry noticed Draco's distracted faint expression as he gazed at him but Harry did not stop himself as he returned the stare. The noise from their fellow students around them seemed to fade into a mumble.
They watched each other for a while until Harry gulped and turned away. He pretended to focus his attention on the homework written on the board and desperately tried to ignore the fact that the side of his leg was pressing against Malfoy's. Harry's hands were shaking again so he discretely pressed his knuckles into the rigid table.
Draco had fixed his attention back to the bubbling purple potion as he continued to absentmindedly stir, as instructed. His vision blurred from a haze of purple edged with the darkness of the cauldron into a sheer dark mist as Draco thought about how Harry was acting. The dark fog poured into Draco senses as he daydreamed. Harry was also all unfocused. He had gazed back at Draco. Harry was breathing heavily like Draco. Plus, Draco could feel Harry's thigh pressing into his own and he had not moved it away. And memories of Harry's body pressed close to him flooded back to him as the darkness grew thicker...
"Ummm, Malfoy?"
Harry had already packed away his things since he clearly had nothing to do. When Harry noticed the cauldron was no longer boiling, he glanced at Malfoy's glazed grey eyes which were full of thoughts. Harry tapped Malfoy on the shoulder since Malfoy had been distractedly staring at the dark stone wall for quite a while. Malfoy gingerly turned and gulped when he re-latched his eyes onto Harry's. Harry turned his attention back to the cauldron before gripping Draco's wrist and dragging the spoon out of the cauldron. Malfoy diverted his gaze onto the spoon…since he had left it in there for so long, the cauldron had burn it and left it as a twisted black rod.
Draco dipped his head down as he dropped what is left of the spoon onto the table and snickered. He kept his head down to conceal his smile as he listened to Harry laugh slightly too. Malfoy looked up at Harry, who was once again staring blankly into Draco's stormy eyes. Harry was thankful that the class was no longer deadly silent due to Snape's glares and scary over shadowing power. No one would over hear them. But just to be safe (from Ron...), Harry spoke quite quietly.
"Is it worth…fighting? This…This…" Unable to explain, Harry simply gestured at himself and Draco, indicating this thing that had been bubbling on the surface.
Draco shook his head roughly and felt something flip violently in his stomach when Harry smiled at him. Draco tried to keep his voice steady when he murmured "Something's holding you back though." The old Draco started swearing furiously in his head because of how wounded he sounded. He didn't care though. He hopelessly liked Harry. So what?
Harry's smile faded but he made a small huff of amusement before mumbling "…and what's holding me back exactly?" His dark eyelashes fluttered to his lap before quivering back up to Draco's handsome face, waiting patiently for a response.
Knowing that he had no control over his dazed expression or sharp jolts running up his spine whenever he saw Harry's emerald eyes pierce through his own eyes like that, Draco muttered "You tell me Potter."
Harry looked away from Draco to stare at the desk. His expression now looked oddly angry. "Just me and my ridiculous notions. Plus me being fixed in the past."
Draco interrupted Harry before he could continue. Very frankly, he said "I've changed Harry."
Harry couldn't help it. He gulped when he heard Draco say his name. No one said it quite like he did. "I know that."
A distant cry of the school bell ran through the classroom and was followed by the rapid shuffling of footsteps, parchments, scraping of chairs and chattering between students in the corridors. Draco gathered his quills and books onto the edge of the table, but kept glancing at Harry's blank expression as he watched him. "I still don't know what the fuck you're getting at." Draco said, sounding rather angry as he dragged his arms towards him, pushing his belonging into his bag. Harry frowned but didn't move from his seat. Nor did Draco.
Shaking his head at Harry slightly, Draco placed his bag on his shoulders. He was wide eyed from Harry's blank expression and lack of reply. Far behind them, Ron, Hermione, Pansy and Zabini were standing at the doorway, watching the pair with mixed expressions of perplexity and interest. Draco stood up while darkly saying "SO confusing."
Harry grinned and stood up in front of Malfoy. They were almost nose to nose, just inches away from one another. The enchanted heat swirling through the towers of Hogwarts would never compare to the heat that swayed off of Potter. Harry chuckled when he saw Draco's eyes widening even more and felt his deepening breathes brush his mouth. Harry's gaze switched for a split second to look at Malfoy's lips, which Malfoy mirrored. Harry said "There's somethi-"
But Harry was interrupted by the scream of "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOI-MPPH!" from Pansy Parkinson. Before she could to finish her perfectly reasonable question, Blaise shoved his hands over her mouth to contain her confused, angry muffled screams.
Quite easily, Blaise pinned her squarely to the ground whilst hissing "WILLYOUSHUTTHEHOLYFUCKUP!" Ron was naturally laughing like crazy and Hermione smiled slightly with glee, glancing between Pansy and Zabini.
Harry poked Draco to get his attention back, who turned his head to look back at Harry. Harry opened then closed his mouth. He sighed and decided to say "I'll see you later" rather than over complicated things by trying to explain the things he was feeling. He was never good at that. Smiling at Draco, Harry turned away and left the room with Hermione and Ron…who was still cackling.
Draco smiled, still fixed in the place where Harry had left him. He walked away from the desk and up to Blaise and Pansy. Blaise jumped off of Pansy and both boys reached out their hands to help Pansy up. Staggering slightly, Pansy readjusted her askew robes and did not notice the fact her short black hair was a mess. She scowled at them both in turn venomously. Pansy huffed and said through gritted teeth "Explain." Draco sniggered and stalked out the room whilst signalling that Pansy and Blaise should follow him out of the classroom.
xxxxxx
The Slytherin trio did not see the three Gryffindors again until they walked into the Great Hall at dinner. Draco, Blaise and Pansy spotted them eating merrily at their own table, talking to Seamus and Dean. As soon as Draco walked through the doors, Harry's eyes met his, crinkling slightly when he beamed at him. Draco's breath hitched before he could register that he should be smiling back at him. Blaise rolled his eyes at Pansy before grabbing Draco's arm and pulling him towards the Slytherin table. Blaise planted Draco on a seat and slid down next to him while Pansy sat opposite them and dragging a plate of rice towards her. Draco discretely smiled at his two friends and began eating his dinner.
"That Potter boy has always been a bit of a dumbass in my eyes." Pansy said conversationally, not looking up to see Draco's reaction. Draco just frowned but did not say anything to allow her to continue. "I mean, he clearly just wanted to say 'Hello Draco, we may have been enemies but I fancy you now and it's ok if we snog all the time in the corridors.' But instead he comes out with 'Is it worth f-f-f-fighting these, ummm, sexual urges? I MEAN, UMMM…f-feelings?' Such a tosser…"
Blaise Zabini choked on his pumpkin juice before cackling with laughter. Draco felt his face would never return to its normal colour.
Little shadow – The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
I'm truly in love with this band at the moment. Her coarse voice reaches out to me as I bop along, pretending to have a sense of rhythm. This song invokes patience, understanding and affection; things Harry is now allowing himself to experience.
…Thank God that acceptance, of what his long dragged fascination with Mr Malfoy really is, has finally punched Harry in the face.
