At Covent Garden Market
I spotted the stall
Of the poulterer named Breckinridge
But it appeared he'd sold them all
~o~
Out of geese, I see
Holmes said to the gent
There'll be 500 in the morning
Was the replying comment
~o~
That won't do, said Holmes
I must have one tonight
And Breckenridge gestured
At another stall lit by gaslight
~o~
But I was directed here
Holmes persisted, of course
If you can't sell me one
Can you tell me their source?
~o~
Breckenridge became furious
He began to yell
Where he got the birds
He refused to tell
~o~
You needn't get so warm
Holmes replied to his outcry
You'd be warm, said the man
If you were as pestered as I
~o~
You'd think they were the only birds
From all the cry and hue
I wouldn't tell the other bloke
And I'm certainly not telling you
~o~
Well then the bet is off
And I was startled by Holmes' words
You see, I wagered a fiver
That those were country birds.
~o~
Well then you've lost your money
The poulterer firmly said
Them birds what went to the Alpha
Every one was town bred.
~o~
I'll bet you they weren't
Holmes said, baiting the hook
Breckenridge agreed to the bet
And turned to fetch his book
~o~
When all was said and done
It seemed Holmes had lost his bet
But a single coin had gained us
The address we'd come to get
~o~
So off to Mrs. Oakshott
Brixton Road was our next stop
Until we heard Breckenridge
Completely blow his top
~o~
Get out! he loudly said
To a rat-faced little gent
I've had enough of you
My patience is already spent!
~o~
But the goose! said the man
You don't understand
One of them was mine
The one with the gray band
~o~
But Breckenridge wouldn't hear it
I'm tired of your whining
You can ask Mrs. Oakshott
Or even Proosia's King!
~o~
Get out of it! he cried
Chasing the little man away
I think, said Holmes to me
That this is our lucky day
~o~
This fellow knows something
Of the business we do
And he said to the man
I believe I can help you
~o~
My name is Sherlock Holmes
I can tell you what Breckenridge won't
It is my business to know
What other people don't
~o~
The little man seemed surprised
As if something were amiss
But sir, he replied
You can know nothing of this
~o~
You trace geese from Mrs. Oakshott
Holmes said with a grin
That first went to Breckenridge
And then the Alpha Inn
~o~
You are just the man, he cried
That I have longed to meet
But Holmes decided to discuss
The rest at Baker Street
~o~
Sitting by the fire
Holmes asked the gent his name
John Robinson, he said
No knowing Holmes knew his game
~o~
The real one if you please
Holmes chided the little man
Ah, James Ryder, upper attendant
At the Hotel Cosmopolitan
~o~
It is not geese you seek
Just one that got away
It ended up here you see
A white one marked with gray
~o~
It did a curious thing
Which dead birds aren't wont to do
It laid a remarkable egg
Of the brightest, bonniest blue
~o~
Then Holmes held up the gem
And Ryder nearly fainted
I believe, said Holmes, that you and this stone
Are already well acquainted.
~o~
The game is up, the only chance
Is to hear the truth be told
I have every link in the chain
Except the one which you withhold
~o~
Then Ryder finally broke down
His face as white as bone
And told of how he planned
To steal precious stone
~0~
He'd blamed it all on Horner
Who had a checkered past
And while Horner was arrested
Made off with the gem quite fast
~o~
To Brixton Road he'd gone
To his sister, Mrs. Oakshott's home
Thinking over what to do
In the yard he watched the geese roam
~o~
Then suddenly it came to him
Just how to fool the police
And he shoved the stone in the crop
Of one of the milling geese
~o~
He declined the other bird
His sister had tucked away
And slaughtered his first pick
The white one banded with gray
~o~
But what he never suspected
When he carried the bird away
Was that he'd confused it with its twin
Another bird with some feathers of gray
~o~
When Ryder opened his empty goose
He realized he had the wrong game
And now his deceitful attempts at theft
Had him in trouble just the same
~o~
He begged on his knees for mercy
His face was deathly pale
But Holmes reminded him he hadn't
Thought of poor Horner stuck in jail
~o~
Get out, Holmes finally said
And he sent Ryder on his way
I may be abetting a felon
But it's nearly Christmas Day
~o~
So James Ryder got a second chance
John Horner was cleared and released
And Holmes and I toasted the season
Enjoying a belated Christmas feast.
~~o~~
