Author's Note: Hi! Sorry if the ending's rushed, I'm supposed to be going out! Maybe another chapter to come!

Disclaimer: There's no time for something amusing to say, I'm afraid. I do not own the Boosh.

Warnings: Language, scenes of sex...

Waking up entwined with Vince Noir the next morning, Howard wondered if the smaller man always looked so much like an angel. Then he awoke fully, and nerves began to set in-

Christy.

What had they done? What had Vince done? What had he done?

In the van of all places, in the middle of nowhere...

He ignored the pleasant shiver that these panicked thoughts sent through his body and gently untangled himself from Vince, leaving the Goth angel still fast asleep. Even as he dressed and got ready to have breakfast and open up the shop, all he could do was worry and overanalyse things:

Vince had said he loved him. Did he?

What if Vince had just been horny?

What if Vince woke up realised what he'd done and laughed in his face at the whole thing?

What if Vince hadn't enjoyed it and he went to Camden and told everyone about it?

What if he opened the shop and found an incriminating "incident" related message spray-painted onto the shutters?

What if... what if?

XXX

Breakfast was very rarely a united occasion, but today on what Howard felt was quite possibly the worst of days, they were all having breakfast at the same time. Vince, for some unfathomable reason, had gotten up early (it was possibly a sign of the apocalypse) and Naboo had been sitting at the table with Bollo already, going on about something to do with taking the carpet for its MOT.

Howard had a shockingly tantalising view of Vince's bare chest from across the table, and for some reason his eyes seemed to want to keep looking at it from over the top of his coffee cup, which he held raised to his face like a steamy shield.

Vince obviously wasn't fooled, and casually loosened the belt of his silk black dressing gown a little further, flicking his hair only for it to land back in place, feathered onyx strands spilling over the fair skin of his chest. He smirked when Howard hastened to look away and spilled coffee all down his arms.

Naboo looked up, frowning, from a huge red book of spells that looked unhealthily dusty to even be in the presence of anybody's breakfast, let alone on the table amongst the food.

'Wha's goin' on?' the shaman lisped.

'Hm?' Howard stumbled over his words as he felt Vince's foot connect purposefully with his own under the table, 'Oh, er, hahaha... I just spilt coffee on myself,' Vince's foot was caressing his leg and he hoped that Naboo couldn't see him blushing, or that he'd at least put it down to the coffee spillage.

To Howard's relief, Naboo just raised an eyebrow before saying, 'Anyway, me an' Bollo are gonna get the carpet sorted out, so you two are in charge of the shop. You know what that means don't ya?'

'No crack foxes,' Vince said.

'Or cockneys,' Howard added.

'Yeah,' Naboo deadpanned, 'And definitely no Nannageddon,'

XXX

Howard made sure that he left first and went down to open the shop, so there was no chance of a moment alone with Vince. He didn't think he could stand in front of the other man and listen to his excuses for dumping him, or- weirdly even more scary- his reasons for wanting him. Naboo and Bollo soon left and the customers trundled in and out, the maverick having to serve them all because his fashion loving best friend (lover?) was still getting ready.

Vince eventually emerged like a black-winged butterfly, descending into the shop and an entranced group of customers dressed in floaty lace, tight leather, high heels and tinkling chains.

Howard counted someone's euros all wrong, and then recounted them with shaking hands.

'How's it goin' mate?' Vince started up his own cue, most of the customer's moving to his line, 'S' five euro,'

Vince's thigh bumped firmly into Howard's own, and the Northerner counted the euros a third time.

'Really? Ha-ha! Yeah, I saw 'em quite a while ago an' they were well outta tune. You didn't 'ave to be that Mozart geezer to 'ear that...' Vince made conversation with the customers whilst swiftly moving to press his backside up against Howard's front, the action going completely unnoticed by everyone but the person it was aimed at.

A fierce red blush spreading over his face, Howard told the irked customer to just take the euros.

XXX

By the time they closed for lunch, Vince had flashed flirty smiles, brushed his hand across certain areas of Howard's anatomy, pinched his backside, and generally made an exhibit of himself that meant that Howard was now aching uncomfortably in a certain area.

'Is something the matter?' Vince asked Howard as he swished his way up the stairs to the flat, avoiding looking at him so the taller man wouldn't see his smirk.

'No,' Howard replied, following him, 'everything's completely fine, Vince...'

'Yeah...?' Vince paused on the stairway, Howard almost bumping into him, close enough for the smaller man to feel his warm breath tickle the back of his neck.

'Yes,' Howard almost snapped in a breath, voice sounding impatient.

Vince continued up the stairs, 'So everything's good?'

'Yes, yes it is...'

No sooner had Vince shut the door than Howard grabbed him, slamming him against the wall in the hallway before freezing, Vince's wrists in his large hands, looking nervously into Vince's lustful eyes like a rabbit looking into headlights.

'Oh kiss me, for fucksake...' Vince whined, squirming in his grip.

The sound of Vince's voice sent a bolt of desire into Howard's groin, and he pressed his mouth hard against Vince's, the smaller man sighing, frustrated, forcing his tongue into his mouth without much resistance from the larger man.

Howard slid one of his legs between Vince's, and he thrust against it in response, pulling his wrists free from Howard's grip and winding his hands through his locks. The taller man broke the kiss to press kisses to Vince's neck, running his tongue along the smooth flesh, causing Vince to whimper and grab his backside, pulling him tight against him and grinding into him.

'Oh God, Howard...' Vince breathed, grabbing Howard's jaw and pulling him back into another deep kiss, wrapping both legs around his waist and sliding his arms around his neck.

Howard pressed into him, giving a low growl as Vince slid one of his hands between them and touched him through the material of his trousers. He set Vince down unsteadily and pulled him towards their bedroom, giving in to the annoying worry that Naboo and Bollo could walk in and find them at any moment.

Vince draped himself over the bed, smiling up at Howard, eyes darkened beautifully with lust.

Howard straddled him carefully, arms either side of his head, gazing down into his eyes, 'Vince...' he uttered.

'Hm?' Vince held back the impatient sigh, hearing the uncertainty in Howard's voice.

'Er... I don't know what I'm doing, do I? What... what do you want me to do...?'

'I don't care...' Vince was unable to suppress the whine, 'Do whatever you want, just do it now, lots of it,'

Howard chuckled despite himself, caressing Vince's waist and leaning down to kiss him again, sliding his hands under his tight lace top only for Vince to reach down and begin removing it with the utmost care.

'Please,' he said, 'don't tear at it, will you? It cost me fifty-five euro-'

Howard silenced him with another kiss, sliding his tongue into his mouth and taking the lead this time, making Vince sigh and relax completely, raising his arms as Howard removed the top.

'Uh...' he bucked upwards when Howard's hands brushed over his nipples and across his chest, and then the older man was running his tongue over them, using one hand to cup him through the tight leather of his trousers.

'Howard...'

Howard unzipped them, pulling them downwards with his pants before taking Vince's throbbing erection into his hands, stroking softly, the younger man gasping at the sensations it was causing. The sight of Vince whimpering beneath him, cheeks flushed, made his own arousal throb painfully.

'Howard, harder, please!' Vince whimpered, squirming beneath him, thrusting upwards into his hands hard.

'You're so beautiful, Vince Noir...' Howard found himself whispering, using his thumb to stimulate the head of his erection.

Vince moaned in response, panting beneath him.

'I... I love watching you like this...' Howard wasn't sure what he was saying or why he was saying it, but Vince was seemingly enjoying it, nearly reaching his climax, uttering nothing but whimpers from red swollen lips.

'Are you mine?' Howard found himself asking, voice filled with desire, moving his hands faster, griping tighter.

Vince gasped, whimpering in response, biting his lip, 'Uuuh!'

'Say it then,' Howard found himself demanding, painfully hard.

'I'm yours... Howard!' Vince gasped in response, shuddering as he came with a high pitched cry into the larger man's hands, trembling from the intense pleasure coursing through his body.

Howard watched Vince recover from his orgasm, resting his hands on his thighs, squeezing them slightly. After a moment Vince took a heavy breath and opened his eyes, gazing into the depths of Howard's, sitting up and kissing him.

'What do you want me to do to you?' he whispered, biting down on Howard's earlobe and causing him to whimper.

'I... I don't know...' Howard uttered, taken aback by the look in Vince's eyes.

Vince smiled, pushing Howard down against the bed and kissing him, undressing him quickly and licking the skin that was exposed, judging that by the noises he was making and the feel of him in his hand, he wasn't going to have time to do much at all.

'Oh God Vince... Vince...'

XXX

'Would someone like to explain to me why I come home to find the shop still closed?' Naboo quizzed, folding his arms as Vince and Howard made their way into the shop from the flat, hair ruffled and faces flushed.

Both Howard and Vince mumbled separate answers:

'I, er, had an errand to run...'

'I was locked in the bedroom by a mutant coat hanger...'

Naboo and Bollo shared a look.

When Naboo and Bollo went up to the flat Vince and Howard pretty much ran the shop in silence.

'What's the matter?' Vince asked eventually, when the flow of customers had begun to diminish.

'What?' Howard asked quietly.

'You can talk to me, you know,' Vince said, sounding strangely a little hurt, 'Is it about us?'

Us... what did Vince mean by that?

'No, I mean yes of course, it's just...' Howard faltered.

'Just what?' Vince asked softly, reaching out to stroke the side of Howard's face.

The action made Howard turn to look into the other man's eyes, a flicker of doubt creeping across his features, 'It's just... I thought maybe...' he took a breath, 'I thought maybe a girl might come in and you might...'

'You think I don't care?' Vince deducted with a sigh.

'No, well... I just thought... well you're not going to wanna stay with me forever, are you sir? I'm hardly an article of appeal. As I said, when I go beyond that physical boundary, it'll be forever. It's not gonna be so easy for me to- why are you looking at me like that?'

Vince advanced on the taller, insecure man, entwining his fingers with his and standing on tiptoe to kiss him passionately.

'Look, you trumpet,' he said softly, grinning at Howard's stupefied face, 'I ain't leavin' you, believe me, yeah?'

Vince was starting to feel that this kind of relationship wasn't going to be as easy as he'd wanted it to be.

'Do you trust me, Howard?' he asked, giving the maverick's hands a squeeze.

The look in Howard's eyes was enough for the answer: No.

Author's Note 2:Heh heh, second thoughts, there's definitely going to have to be another chapter, I'm sorry for ending there! :P