Author's Note:I can't believe what I've just written. I've embarrassed myself again. Should I move this to B.S.H?

Disclaimer: Oh deary me... I do not own the Boosh.

Warnings: Uh oh... Sexy-fun times, that's why it's rated "M"

Howard had gotten into bed without telling Vince, thinking that the Goth fairy would probably be on his way to Camden to chat up the elite. He lay there, leaning his head back against the headboard and letting all his panicked thoughts wash over him in a tidal wave:

He was going to go to Camden and kiss everyone in sight.

He'd probably have sex with them too.

Or maybe he'd just go out and get drunk and do something dangerous?

Oh God, what if he got himself hurt?

He was shaken out of his thoughts by a pair of lips on his, familiarly pouty and tasting of toothpaste.

'Hi,' Vince said; voice low and accompanied by a seductive smile.

'Oh...' Howard blushed, gazing at Vince as the smaller man straddled him with just a towel around his waist and wet hair.

'You had a shower a while back,' Vince pouted, 'why didn't you tell me? I'd have gotten in with you, you're always goin' on about not using s'much water...' he leaned in and kissed Howard's neck, the older man taking a shaky breath, 'Would 'ave been fun too...'

'Vince...' Howard said, feeling disappointed as Vince clambered off him and went to plug in his hairdryer, 'aren't you... going out?'

'Does it look like it?' Vince asked over the noise of the red hairdryer, a sideways smile on his face as he tipped his head to the side, an expression that had always made Howard feel something he hadn't been able to understand until now.

Howard watched as Vince finally switched off the hairdryer, unplugged it, placed it on the dressing table and then let the towel slip from his waist, his back to him.

'I could go out actually,' the smaller man said, one hand straying down his body, 'if you wanted me to, it's no pro-' he stopped in a breath, because Howard suddenly appeared close up behind him, pressing his body against his.

'Don't go anywhere, sir,'

Vince giggled at the sound of Howard's sensuous voice in his ear, and then gasped as Howard's hands began to roam over his chest, fingertips circling his nipples, and then trailing downwards to hold his hips.

Vince turned around and clasped Howard's face with both hands, kissing him hard, glad that it was too hot for him to be wearing a hideous pyjama set, meaning he had to just wear underpants instead.

'So... you're not... going out then?' Howard managed between kisses, 'not at all? You really want to stay in with me?'

Vince dragged him toward the bed, pushing him down onto it and then clambering on top of him, trailing hot wet kisses down his chest. He stopped and flicked his hair irritably:

'Howard, does it look like I'm plannin' to go out, or does it look like I'm plannin' on doin' somethin' else with me night?'

'Something else?' Howard gasped in answer, as Vince's hand slid under the waist band of his pants and gripped him hard.

'Mmm,' Vince smiled, eyes dark and sparkling with lust, 'exactly...' he yanked the older man's pants down and off in one sharp movement.

'Vince...' Howard panted, as Vince clambered back onto him again, their erections rubbing together.

'Told you...' Vince murmured, kissing Howard's neck and then his shoulder, 'M'not leavin' you...'

Howard sighed and entwined his fingers in Vince's hair, kissing any part of him he could reach.

Vince soon pulled away, moving downwards and admiring the impressive sight of Howard's erection before taking him into his mouth, Howard chocking back a gasp, his hands flying to grip Vince's hair.

'Vince...' he growled, 'Vince... Vince... stop, Vince...' he pulled Vince away, and the younger man gazed up at him with vivid blue eyes.

'C'mere...' Howard pulled him up, reversing their roles so that he was above Vince, 'I want...'

He wasn't sure what he wanted. He wanted to give Vince pleasure, wanted to hear him gasp his name, wanted to make sure he didn't ever want to leave him, but Vince had probably had a lot better than his useless attempts-

'Howard?'

Howard blinked out of his thoughts, looking at the beautiful man beneath him, 'Vince... I... you're beautiful, d'you know that?' he sighed, leaning down to kiss every inch of his pale flesh, his own erection straining painfully at the sound of Vince's moans.

'Howard...' Vince whimpered, when he couldn't take it anymore, pressing into him, 'I want...' he tried to think of a way of saying what he wanted without making Howard panic, as he knew he probably would.

He decided on whispering it. Pulling Howard downwards onto him he entwined his fingers into his brown locks and murmured surprised to find a hot blush sweeping over his face:

'I want you to... I want you inside me...'

The expression of panic in Howard's eyes changed so quickly to one of embarrassment that the first emotion went almost unnoticed.

'Will you?' Vince whispered, with his erection pressing into the other man's stomach.

Howard nodded; face flushed deep red, eyes sparkling with desire.

'But do you want to?' Vince sounded genuinely uncertain, making sure it was really what Howard wanted.

'Vince,' Howard's voice was needy, and he pressed Vince tight against him, muttering against his lips, 'yes...'

Nonetheless, Howard still managed to turn an even deeper shade of scarlet as he watched Vince riffle through a drawer on his side of the room and then return with lubricant.

Vince smiled seductively, crawling back onto the bed and pulling Howard to him in a deep kiss. He looked down at the larger man's straining erection for a lingering moment before squeezing a generous amount of the gel into his hand and slathering it over it, Howard gasping and thrusting involuntarily into his hand.

Kissing him once more, Vince gently pushed him down against the pillows and straddled his lap, 'Alright?' he murmured.

Taken aback by how beautiful Vince looked at that moment, Howard simply nodded.

Slowly, Vince lowered himself down onto Howard, taking him in slowly, his breath coming in short gasps and moans.

Howard was overwhelmed by the sensations, the tightness and the feel of Vince around him almost too much, and he bucked his hips upwards against his will.

Vince cried out sharply in response.

'I'm sorry!' Howard gasped, reaching out and holding the other man's hips to steady him, 'I'm sorry...'

'I've not actually done this before...' Vince whimpered, face flushed, strands of hair stuck to his face.

'You've not done this before!' Howard gasped, holding himself still, 'then how do you expect me to know what I'm doing!'

Vince gave a moaning laugh, 'Wh- Why d'you sound so flippin' stunned that I 'aven't been bummin' all o' Camden? You really think the worst of me, don't ya? I swear, I haven't done this before,'

Howard gave a shaky moan in response; it was getting increasingly difficult to hold himself still, 'Vince...'

Vince began to rock his hips slowly, gasping when he slid himself down against him fully, and Howard gave a low growl and began to meet Vince's movements, thinking that it was impossible to be any more turned-on than he already was until he saw Vince, the smaller man whimpering softly, head tipped back and face flushed, biting down on his lip, eyelids fluttering.

'Uh...!' Vince thrust down against him harder as Howard's hands began to roam up his thighs before moving to his painfully hard erection, 'Howard... oh my God... Howard...'

With one hand gripping Vince's length tightly and the other holding his hip, Howard watched Vince panting above him and felt the incredible heat of his orgasm approaching. He thrust upwards harder, making Vince give a yelp of pleasure.

'Fuck, Howard! Harder!' Vince leant forwards, unable to stop the incoherent curses and moans from escaping his lips.

Howard thrust ever more erratically, the intense pleasure washing over him until he didn't think he could take it any longer, and then Vince yelled out his name in a high-pitched, nearly feminine voice and came hard, the sensation of his muscles clenching around him drawing out his climax too, and he groaned loudly and thrust upwards, spilling into him and wrapping his arms around Vince's shuddering body as the younger man fell against him.

When Vince recovered enough to move off of Howard and collapse next to him, resting his head on his chest, he asked, 'Was that good?'

Howard just grinned giddily in response, making Vince chuckle.

'I love you, Little Man...'

'Love you too.'

XXX

When Vince and Howard came down from a suspiciously long shower the next morning, Vince in a silky kimono and Howard fully dressed with ruffled hair, both Naboo and Bollo gave them a look.

'Whot?' Vince's eyes were sparkling as he casually sat down at the table.

'Is, er, something the matter, Naboo?' Howard quizzed.

The shaman and his familiar shared a look, and the conversation might have taken a rather embarrassing turn for Vince and Howard if Naboo's words hadn't been drowned out by the sound of falling, smashing objects and a yelp down in the shop.

Embarrassed Author (who is wondering why this is turning into a multi-chapter fic)'s Note: Was that good, bad? I don't know; I've panicked!