I'm at War
Hey guys, just wanted to say thank you for adding this story to your alerts/favourites! And a HUGE thank you for reviewing! Really appreciate it!
If you're wondering where Edward is, you'll have to be patient. He will be coming into the story but I'm not sure when… I need to set a level grounding before building on it. lol
Anyways, once again thank you for reviewing, please do keep them coming!
Chapter 2: Filing Cabinet
Bella's P.O.V
I knew coming here was a bad idea but I just had to see Jasper. I guess because he was my creator, he had apart of me in him and I held a piece of him in me. I held him close to my dead heart and he reminded me in everyway of my younger brother. He was my shoulder, my closure Jasper was; my everything. And I will forever be grateful to my Rosalie for sharing him with me; though, definitely not in the same aspect. I loved him like a brother and her, a sister I had never had.
Dearest Jasper never left my side when I was changed; he felt extremely guilty for changing me and has never forgiven himself. It really annoyed me sometimes, it actually got to the point that I pinned him to the ground and threaten him to stop moping and suck it up or I'd be doing some serious damage to him, because I love be a vampire; sure I wished I could died because I could never have him but I got to do things that I've been able to do. I felt free has a vampire, I didn't belong to anyone (well except Jasper) and I didn't have to report to no one.
"Bella honey, are you ok?" Rosalie frantic but soothing voice registered in my ears.
I grinned at her, letting her know I was physically fine now; emotionally, Jasper was the only one to know I was a wreck.
I heard the fight as soon as my foot touched the grass on the bay of the river, a good 15 miles away. I quickly changed my direction, racing back to the Cullens house, careful not to touch the paths that had a disgusting smell to it; I was not in the mood to deal with werewolves.
I was somewhat shocked at the sight of the house when it came into view; it definitely didn't have a hole in the wall before… and it definitely didn't have an armless Emmett and pissed of- well, much more livid Jasper in the back yard. I lost focus on that fight as I heard the sound of a thud before a tree came hurdling to the ground as a loud whimper bounced on the trees. I quickly ran to the scene just in time to push Rose out of the way from Alice's tree that she had swung at the blonde. Not lifting my leg quick enough to jump over the think tree, it caught my leg and it snapped forward.
That was the second most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life, definitely my first painful physical experience. My scream only caused Alice to voice a smug laugh, her eyes twinkling happily. I really did hate her. She was fucked in the head that girl; she had to be psychotic!
"Bella?!! Are you ok?!" The sound of Rosalie's worried voice caused me to smile slightly. I don't think she realised that like her, I was a vampire. Yes we experienced pain, but we are completely invincible to kill without fire.
"Rose, you need to chill." I said as calmly as I could. I then got a decent grip on the tree and pushed it off me, trying to stop the hiss that threaten to escape my lips from the pain. I didn't want Rosie freaking out all over again; silly girl did anyway.
"You can act all tough Bells but your face is an open book sometimes." God damn face!
"Evil fucking pixie!" I hissed as her laughter voiced itself.
I noted that Emmett was now at Alice's side and that really cut me deep. I knew he was a married man, a happily, mated man and my stupid dead heart still wanted to give itself to him. The yearning to reach him stopped immediately as his eyes suddenly shine brighter and his joyous laughter filled the clearing Alice and Rosalie had made. That just made my heart break as it recoiled to my chest and a huge sob began to develop in me.
"Bella? Bella are you ok – Oh my God!" Jasper stopped mid sentence as he saw my leg, an absolutely horrified expression setting into his face.
"Leave Jas…" I whispered, not wanting him to see or feel what I was about to do.
"No! What the fuck?!" he growled as he lowered himself to look at it more closely.
Stupid overprotective brother! "Please move away Jasper. Leave this clearing!" I tried to be stern with him but I had to keep my eyes pleading.
"What?! Hell no Bella!" He growled louder at me, an offended expression now filling his face.
"I'm going to be inflecting a lot of pain right now so please get the hell out of here!" I growled right back as I moved my hand to my fucked up, demented leg.
"Damn it Bella, do you have to be so bloody stubborn all the time?! I'm not leaving – Argh!" I let out my own scream as I pushed hard on my shin, pushing it forward to set it back in its normal place. The pain shot through me and it seemed to silence every other noise before it reverberated off into the distance. The only other sound at present was Jasper withering in the ground from the pain I was putting him through. I tried, I tried to get him away so that he wouldn't feel this horrible pain.
Once the pain had subsided slightly, I flew back on to the ground, looking up at the clouded sky, trying hard to collect my feelings so that Jasper wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I hated putting him through any pain, any anger or hurt; any unhappy emotion.
That's when I heard it, that annoying laughter filled the air. I craned my neck to see why the fucking pixie was laughing only to see Esme's back, blocking my view.
"Bella, I need you to stay still." Carlisle spoke softly yet firmly, his doctor's voice filling in. "You wont be able to walk for an hour of so." Where'd they come from?
I huffed before relaxing again. "I only was trying to protect Rose… Why did she have to fight for me?!" I growled, now annoyed that I couldn't leave this family in peace.
"Because you're her sister. She loves you." Carlisle said with a smile.
"Stupid, over protective fool!" I hissed angrily causing Carlisle to chuckle.
"Shut up!" Rose smirked playfully as she continued to crouch before me protectively.
"Damn you Rosalie! Totally not happy with you right now!" He felt the scowl fill me face as I glared at the sky with my arms folded across my chest.
"But you still love me!" She grinned with a gentle slap to my good leg.
I huffed childishly before I heard Emse telling Alice off. I sighed then as I lifted myself onto my elbows to watch the scene before me.
God, I felt so guilty, so disappointed and crushed about what I did. All I wanted was Emmett, him to be mine and only mine. As soon as I saw him, he smiled at me and I stopped all of my movement, halted and let my jaw hit the floor and a flood of venom flowed freely. He was breathtakingly beautiful, like seeing the sun for the first time after being blind all your life. I felt like I was on fire as he held my gaze, he made me feel so alive and excited; I knew I'd be beet red all over my body with blush.
His dimples were so gorgeous, on display for everyone to see, to increase my desire to touch them, kiss them and lick them. Oh, and his lips looked luscious and full, ready to be kissed. His short, thick, brown curls were begging for my fingers to run through it, begging me to pull them to my nose and smell the fresh cinnamon that drifted from it. His golden eyes board into my bright red ones, as if he could see straight through me, read my every thought and feel every emotion that spread through me.
That's when I took a step towards him, my feet moving on their own accord and my fingers twitching slightly to touch him. That simple movement triggered the one thing that sent me into a deep hole, make my newly dead heart shrivel up and freeze; Alice made herself known, placing her body to his side, gently gliding her hand to his broad chest before reaching up high and placing a possessive kiss to his soft looking lips.
I felt my jaw snap up, closing my mouth and eyes immediately look else where. The thought that my Emmett was unavailable was taking awhile to process and I was extremely grateful that my body was aware of the situation. My right leg moved first then my left quickly followed suit and before I knew it, I was out the window and following the scent of something appetising. I could hear two sets of footsteps following quickly behind me but I didn't turn to stop; the feelings of my love still at hand. I pushed harder until I heard a distant beating noise and the quick flowing of liquid; my prey.
My first hunt was a huge, brown grizzly bear who was standing on his hind legs, his front paws coming together as if clapping, demanding me to try and mess with him. I sighed as I continued my run, letting the thoughts of Emmett and his mate file itself it the closest drawer for easy access later and let my natural instincts take over.
It was six days later, a huge storm was about to hit at any moment and Alice was torturing me. If she wasn't practically dangling Emmett in front of me, daring me to take a bite, she was all over him, saying things like 'I'll never leave you', or 'Our love will last forever. We are made for each other.' I tried so hard, I tried everything to ignore it… I would sit on the window sill looking out the window or read or play board games with Jasper and Rosalie but it's like she was screaming at me, demanding me to look at them and watch their display of affection.
I remember that first night, I sent my poor Jasper into a frenzy with my hysteric, angry emotions. I didn't know if it was purpose or if it was their normal love making session, but it was so heated and so loud.
"I'm sorry Bells, she's just marking her territory…" Rosalie said after an hour of my heavy panting and hair pulling. She gave me a sympathetic look as she cradled Jasper to her chest, trying hard to calm him down; confirming that Alice was still paying her games with me.
"I… I have to go!" I whispered between sobs as I covered my ears, begging mentally for the sounds to stop. My heart couldn't take it and I know Jasper was unintentionally hating on me for it. If I wasn't doing it for me, I knew it was for him.
On that sixth day I had just walked through the front door from my nights of rooming the woods. Alice was sitting on the loveseat with Emmett and as soon as I took that step through the door, she threw herself onto him, their lips meeting sounding like a whip cracking. I felt my eyes water and my new found self-esteem plummet to my toes; the sigh coming from my left told me that they were also sick of Alice's tricks.
The smell of leather suddenly filled my senses and I knew it was Jasper. I turned towards him and pulled him into a hug.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered truthfully. I was so tired and angry that I kept making him feel miserable. I was sick of hurting him.
"Say it baby… Say that I'm the only one who'll ever me good enough for you." The sound of Alice's purr was like her screaming in my ear, making an echo bounce off my sensitive ear walls when in reality it was a whisper that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear.
I stiffened as her words kept repeating in my head; the jealousy consuming me as I pleaded in my mind for Emmett not to repeat those cruel words. I grabbed the nearest object my hand could find with very minimal movement as Emmett did as he was instructed, his voice full of lust. I felt Jasper's eyes on me as I tossed the statue gnome that Esme was taking to the garden to Alice's head. The sound of the clay shattering on her black hair sent a piercing noise throughout the lounge before Jasper and I filled the room with laughter. Alice, whose hair now looked gray from the dust, had looked extremely shocked expression as Emmett turned his head to see what was going on.
I felt my hand reach for Jasper's shoulder when the need for support filled me. Alice's face held a livid stare at me as Emmett tried to hide his amusement by hiding his face to the pixie's chest.
That's when all hell broke loose; I was flying through the house, taking a wall with me that she had sent me through. Jasper was quickly at my side, a protective crouch in front of me as Alice appeared a few hundred feet from me.
"Jasper… I need this." I whispered as I jumped to me feet, pulling Jasper out of his crouch. He growled at me with a glare. "Please? This isn't your fight."
"It's not yours either Bella. Emmett is not worth fighting for." He snapped at me.
"Yes he is." I said sternly as I turned my gaze to Alice who had hissed at me declaration.
"He's mine." With her own warning sent, she leaped at me defending what was rightfully hers.
I loved kick boxing as a human, I was pretty good at it even though I wasn't the best person on my feet but the mind and body cooperated well when I was in my learning or competitive mood. So when Alice was in reaching distance, I grabbed her leg that she had outstretched, swung her around before delivering my own spinning kick, sending her flying through a few trees. My new vampire strength is something I had to get used to, quickly!
"ALICE!" His scared voice only distracted me for a moment. This was me trying to prove that I was better for him; I had to destroy my rivalry so that I would be noticed by him. That I loved him more then Alice ever could.
It was a few hours later that I realised how wrong I was. I had managed to expand my mental shield and wrap it around Emmett's mind and manipulate his movements. I don't know how, but he wasn't able to take a step towards Alice.
My new love was on his knees, trying to claw his way to Alice who was now armless and on one leg, her figure illuminated by the blazing fire behind her. His legs wouldn't budge though, it's like I had cemented them to the once grassy patch.
His once beautiful golden eyes had now turned brown and were glossy from the venom that would never fall. His huge chest would shake and bounce from the dry sobs it produced and his pained face broke me. I looked away from him quickly, knowing I would give up this fight and give Alice her body parts back so that Emmett would no longer hurt. It was obvious that Alice was his one and only and that he loved her.
I dropped to a crouch again, jumped quickly and knocked Alice to the ground, ripping her leg from her body as she let out another piercing scream.
"BELLA!! PLEASE?! STOP!" Emmett's voice struck me deep then. I turned to him as he whimpered, fresh tears filling his eyes. He was on his knees, his hands to his chest begging me to stop. The look on his face killed me; I wanted to jump in the fire and burn, to die so that I would not cause him anymore pain. That expression he held now was officially burnt into my skull; I will forever remember it, until I'm a pile of ashes.
A sob shook me before I dropped to my knees, regret, guilt, defeat and sadness feeling me. I dropped the leg I held and roped in my shield so that Emmett could be free of me. The misery filled me as I continued to cry; I don't know what Emmett did but I had a feeling he was with her, the one he would never stop loving.
I cried for a few more moments before I fled; leaving my family, leaving my best friend, my creator, my competition but most importantly, I left what my mind, body, heart and soul desired… no needed most. I don't know why I needed him so much, loved him the way I do. Emmett was and always will be the person that will hold my dead heart.
I won that battle hands down but she had definitely won the war. She still held the most precious gift.
I'll be damned before I ever try and take Emmett again. Seeing him in such pain was not worth it.
--
Jasper managed to take me back to the destroyed house since my leg seemed to still be in too much pain to walk.
"I think you're getting a little slack on your reflexes Isabella." Jasper said playfully as he lowered me on the couch.
"Jasper, what'd I say about calling me that?!" I said firmly as I slapped the back of his head for punishment. I hated my full name. "and, FYI: it was me getting hit or Rose being sent flying through the woods, probably landing right in the middle of Forks from the swing the pixie took. She would have revealed out kind!" I said stubbornly with a glare. "So hush your mouth and say thank you!" I was half serious in my little rant.
Rosalie chuckled before jumping over the couch and plonking her butt next to me. She quickly wrapped her arms around me and placed a sloppy kiss to my forehead.
"Ewww! ROSE!" I hollered as I wiped the drool from my head. "What I say about slobbering on me?!"
She let out a musical laugh as she hugged me again. "Oh Bella, I missed you! Thank you for coming back and THANK YOU for saving me from landing in the middle of Forks, God forbid such a thing!" She added sarcastic with a cheesy grin.
I squinted at her, tilting my head slightly to see what's wrong with her. Seeing nothing, I turned to look at Jasper, a glare set into my face. "What'd you to her?!"
Jasper's eyes widened slightly before relaxing, a lazy smile sitting on his lips. "Are you serious?"
"You would know Jasper. Where's the Rosalie Hale-Whitlock I know?!" By this time, Rose was holding her stomach, laughing at me.
Jasper chuckled too before moving to his wife, halting all her laughter and lifting her jaw slightly only to place a series of romantic kisses to her lips.
I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped my lips at the action. I was so jealous of their relationship, they were so happy together, so in love. I wanted that, definitely not with one of them but I certainly wanted to cuddles, the looks of adoration, the sweet, delicate kisses, the caresses; everything that came with being in love with someone.
Suddenly Rosalie wanted the kiss to become more intimate; her tongue slipped through her lips quickly, asking for entrance to her lover's mouth. Her hands wrapped around Jasper's neck, pulling him to her more closely as he wrapped his arms around her hour glass shape waist.
"Ah, there she is." I chuckled before looking away nervously from the personal moment only set my eyes on another. Emmett had Alice in a secure embrace, hugging her tightly as he drew in a deep breath of her hair. The gesture seemed so much more intimate then the pair making out next to me.
God, I wish that was me. The thought slipped through my grasp before I could slam that drawer close and lock it. I had promised my self never to go to that filing cabinet and relive my past with the two. I promised to never interfere with their love life and thinking about it, thinking about Emmett being with me and not her was going to be a huge interference.
I sighed again as I stood, somewhat relieved that I could walk fine again. I quickly scanned the games shelf to find something decent. Resident Evil 5 caught my attention quickly so I opened the glass cabinet gently and pulled the case out, a goofy grin spreading across my face.
Inserting the disc into the PS3 and picking up the wireless control, then returned to the couch only to find that Rosalie had laid down, taking my seat on the couch. Jasper was laying on top of her, devouring her lips as his hand slid under his mate's shirt and proceeded up to where her breast was.
Rose let out a pleasured moan which snapped me out of my trance and I hissed at them.
"Get a fucking room you two! That's nasty!" I whispered hastily.
The pair flipped me off which in return I growled at them.
"If you love me! If you have respect for me! Please go to your room!" I whined like a 5 year old as I tugged on Jasper's shirt.
"Oh… Jassy, baby!" Rosalie moaned loudly, ignoring me completely. Bitch!
Before I could do anything, including protest, her shirt and bra were ripped from her body, her light pink, pebbled nipples standing high on her large breasts exposed to the world.
"JASPER!" I hollered loudly as Rosalie let out another moan. Jasper huffed, removing his mouth from breast and sent me a glare. "Don't you dare looked at me like that!" I growled as Rosalie sent me innocent look. "GO! YOUR BEDROOM NOW!"
Jasper gave me a final glare before scooping Rose up causing her to squirm and squeal giddily before racing up the stairs to their room.
"Fucking disgusting!" I whispered as I put the controller onto the coffee table. I quickly picked up Rosalie's ripped clothing and headed to the bin to dispose of it properly.
After returning to the lounge room again, I sat on the floor, still somewhat disgusted at what had just happened to the couch. I focused on the game, doing as it instructed; once I got the hang of it though, my mind drifted to the similarity in appearance Emmett had with Chris (the character I was playing). They both had huge, muscular upper bodies, brood shoulders with short, brown hair, and I bet Emmett had ocean blue eyes like Chris did.
Oh my God. I'm so pathetic! I thought to myself, suddenly disgusted. I can't believe I'm comparing Emmett to a fictional, game character. You've totally lost your mind Bella! I huffed as I focused harder on the game, destroying the zombies with as much ammo I could go through.
"I'm not leaving you alone with her!" I had just made it past the first chapter of the game when I heard Alice snarl at Emmett.
"Jesus Alice, have some faith in me would ya? I don't want to be with her!" Emmett hissed back.
His comment made me feel like the sun had suddenly disappeared and I was alone in the darkness.
I felt numb as I tried to not hear them, concentrate on their conversation. I tried to focus on the game, the mission ahead of me but I kept dying; kept getting shot down and savagely attack. Just like how my heart was feeling.
I sucked in a deep, unneeded breath, daring it to take the problems I was feeling when I exhaled. I tried this a few times and it seemed to help the smallest amount; the filing cabinet holding the most precious thoughts, experiences and emotions about him stopped shaking ever so slightly.
"Need help?" I felt myself jump slightly in fright. I turned my head quickly to the voice, really confused that I had zoned out enough to not hear Emmett approaching.
The smallest of a smile appeared on his beautiful features and it made me feel extremely good. It was barely a smile but it made me feel so special, made it feel less cold; my sun was returning to me (extremely slowly).
"Sure…" I said with my own smile as I past him the control where he sat on the couch. "You can be Chris… I'll be Sheva." By the time I had finished the statement, the other control was already in my hands and I was sitting cross legged on the floor again.
He only nodded in response as I joined the game quickly.
"I didn't know you were into this type of game." I heard Emmett mutter after we made it through a few more stages in silence.
I wanted to be a smart ass and say something like 'You've had plenty of time to get to know me' or 'You weren't allowed' but I didn't, I just smiled at him, glad that he was taking the moment to finally get to know a bit about me… even if it was about games. "Did you expect 'Crash Bandicoot' or something? Maybe a little 'Mario Brothers'?" I chuckled jokingly. "They did look pretty tempting though."
Emmett let out his own chuckle as he relaxed into the couch. "Don't be hating on Crash and Coco; I love that game." He grinned at me, his dimples making his face glow.
I stopped breathing then and stiffened as I felt the frozen exterior melt off my dead heart as the butterflies made themselves known. "I do not hate on Crash and Coco. That is an awesome game!" I returned the grin stupidly at him.
He chuckled at me before returning his focus to the game. I realised I had been attacked because my controller vibrated in my palms so I to returned my focus to the game.
He's bonding with me! My thoughts screamed cheerfully as they did a stupid happy dance causing me to smile. Goodness he's even more handsome this close! I let my thoughts have their moment, let them open that drawer and run wild. His chest is so huge, so muscular and tight! I want to touch it!
I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped my lips. I immediately slapped my hand to my mouth, my eyes going wide as I turned to Emmett.
He gave me a confused smile with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry…" I mumbled, glad that I no longer blushed.
After a couple more hours, we had finished the entire game in mainly silence, apart from the normal conversation you'd have when playing a game with a partner.
"You could have saved me!" Emmett muttered angrily as he sighed, dying again.
"Hey! You didn't save me before!" I growled back, referring to when we had versed one of the 'boss' zombies.
He scoffed at me. "You could've healed yourself!"
"Not when you're shooting and slicing me the whole time!" I hollered with squinted eyes.
"You still could've saved yourself!" He said smugly.
I glared at him before throwing the control at him angrily. "Whatever! You left me to die so many times!" I stood up and headed for the door, hearing the crunch of the controller as I took my first step onto the grass.
"Bitch!" I heard him hiss.
"Asshole!" I hissed back as I fled the house to hunt.
He made me so angry! How dare he be an asshole to me when I had sacrificed my life to save him countless times on the game?! Where does he even get the nerve?
I suddenly snorted, not believing I had a fight with the love of my existence over a stupid game! Pathetic much Swan?!
I huffed as the sweet scent of a grizzly filled my senses. I loved grizzlies and I loved panthers, well… any wild cat in general; I miss Africa and the Amazon… Hmmm, we'll have to go back their soon.
Nope, you're staying right here Swan! My mind spoke in a matter-of-factually voice. You and Emmy were finally getting along!
I chuckled to myself as I tackled the grizzly down, snapping its neck before sinking my teeth into it's soft, thick fur.
"Rest in peace." I said to it gratefully when finished as I uprooted a tree and placed the bloodless corpse under it before replacing the tree to its original position.
After it looked like it wasn't going to fall over, I dusted my hands off as the wind picked up. I wasn't quite full yet so I would continue my hunt until I found and elk or two; I relaxed slightly, letting my natural instincts kick it… but that's when I smelt it. Smelt him.
My head snapped to where he stood, half hidden behind a tree. His mouth ajar slightly and his golden eyes now shown black with his eye lids half covering them.
Is that an erection?! My mind screamed suddenly? I quickly looked down, surprised to see a huge bulge in his pants.
I knew it was impossible but I rubbed my eyes to make sure they weren't deceiving me and then looked again… still there. I was still completely shocked by his new appearance that I couldn't help but look over my shoulder, scanning the trees and bushes for any sign of his mate. No one was there…
I gasped when I turned around again to see that he now stood only a few feet before me.
"That was the most sexiest thing I've ever seen." He spoke with a small, lust filled voice. With that, he moved to a new spot, only inches away from each other.
"Emmett…" I whimpered, really scared now. He knew that my feelings for him were those you would only feel for a mate. I was in love with him; I would sacrifice my life for him so I hoped to God that he was not fucking with my feelings. I knew my poor, weak heart wouldn't be able to handle anymore of that; it had felt like it had been ripped from its comfort zone and stamped on repeated before going through a shredder and numerous amount of times.
"You're so beautiful…" He whispered as he moved his hand up to my face, hesitantly moving it forward. As soon as he touched my cheek, I gasped as my body ignited. Every feeling I felt for him intensified dramatically.
He pulled away quickly, as if my cheek had burned his finger. His mouth fell open as if to ask what happened but his eyes remained the same; black as the midnight sky, heavy with lust.
He pulled me to him then, our lips banging together hungrily.
I felt like I was in heaven, questioning my mentality if I was really alive or dead. Did I burn to death? Was I really and truly dead? Gone from the Earth?!
His tongue licking my lips answered the question for me. No, I was not dead; this was real. The moment that I've been thinking about since Jasper had turned me, the moment I've been waiting for since I first laid eyes on his angelic face.
This was real; my Emmett, the love of my life, my everything was asking to deepen this passionate kiss… and who was I to ever deny him anything?
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