~As These Hands Tremble~ Chapter 2

Standard Disclaimer applies

Lightning widened her eyes at the sight of the lake she used to always visit when she was younger ,for a long time she forgot about it, along with the times when she truly felt happy. She did admit that although she was calmer now and she wasn't so quick to put up a fight , when she went out to the dock she couldn't help but cast a glare or break an arm of a drunk who ever tried to touch her.

She sat down on the ground with her legs in the water, it was going to be a while before Hope would come home from school and she did not want to be at home sulking over whatever she could possibly sulk about. Even If she was still without that one thing that she had been yearning for, though at this point she was not sure if she even wanted it, but all the same she didn't want to sit around waiting for it.

Splashing her feet every once in a while her thoughts started drifting towards the days after Cocoon was saved and it's citizens started to move into Gran Pulse, which was now named New Pulse, because no matter how many times people tried to deny it they were still afraid of Pulse. Everything was different, even the approach to how the people were governed, instead of an old tyrant the ruling body was a group of ordinary people who did not know of the corruption power could bring.

But that is not what interested Lightning, her thoughts went her sister and the bubbling idiot Snow. Snow lingered in her mind longer than she wanted it to , but she didn't know if she liked it or not. She thought back to the time when everyone headed back to her family's house, when Serah and Dajh came back. Everyone was so happy even though they had lost Fang and Vanille. Everyone was making promises to each other Sazh would never let Dajh leave his site, Lightning would always protect Hope, and Snow would always love Serah.

Lightning stopped swirling her legs in the water, the thought of her sister with him made her feel more older, reminded her of all the years she spent being a parent and not being a child, it reminded her of all the times she kept to herself and grew bitter because of it, it reminded her of all the time she lost in her childhood. She loved her sister, she really did, no one could hate her she was just so lovable, and so sweet almost too much for her own good.

When Snow and Serah announced that they would be moving into together into Snow's apartment, Lightning was speechless at first; she had no idea what to say. She could not go into her usual antics and dismiss them, because she had decided that she just wasn't that type of person anymore . So instead she turned away from them and busied her hands with the dishes and slightly shook her head, and quietly uttered okay.

Serah looked up at Snow in question, he cast her strange look as if he knew what was going on but didn't want to believe that it was true. Snow took a step towards his future sister-in-law.

"Sis…" He started, but Lightning shut him down before he even began.

"I said it was okay!" She surprised even herself, so she turned to face them again and speak in a softer tone, "I said it was okay. I already know you want to marry as soon as possible, so who am I to stop you. I don't know anything about marriage, so do what you think is right."

Snow nodded his head slowly, then stepped back to stand beside Serah and smiled down at her as she smiled right back. Serah without hesitating, ran towards Lightning and gave her a tight and tender hug. Lightning was surprised at first, but slowly relaxed and wrapped her arms around her little sister, and placed her chin her hair.

"Thank you so much for taking care of me for so long, Éclair, but now you don't have too anymore. Snow will be there for me, and I can do so much more on my own. You've taught me to be so much stronger, and I've never thanked you for being there for me so thank you."

The last thing she remembered about that day was that look that Snow gave Serah it was a look full of joy and something like desire. She remembered that feeling of loneliness, and the sound of her heart dropping suddenly. She also remembered that on that day she realized that she felt something different towards Snow, and she was deadly afraid of it.

Lightning closed her eyes, this is exactly what she had been trying to avoid, sulking over things. This was the reason she had blocked others out, she didn't want to get attached to things that in reality she was too afraid to anything about. Sure she could fight big monsters, and lead into constant battles with the Fal'cie, but she never claimed to be one who could be fearless in a crowd without the help of alcohol.


The class seemed to drag on never in his life did math seem more boring and obsolete. Hope sat in the back of the room tapping away with his pencil, not noticing the annoyed glares he was getting from his classmates, and teacher.

"Hope." No reply

"Hope." Still no reply

"HOPE!" Hope calmly turned to his classmate who yelled his name.

"What? Do you need something?" Hope asked indifferently causing his female classmate to slightly fluster.

"I was just telling you that you were tapping on your pencil loudly and I was hoping that you'd stop." Hope nodded once than turned to the board, he was so bored. He could not wait for the festival tonight, he would eat all the candy he could, he would make sure Lightning smiled at least once, and he would make her talk to everyone. And then he started tapping his pencil again only this time the class chose to ignore him.


Serah busied herself with choosing an outfit to wear to the light festival, she was so excited and happy that she could do something to get her mind off of her earlier disruptions, maybe at the festival her and Snow could reconcile and forget about the last few days, and maybe even set a wedding date. Even though the last few days with Snow were less than happy she still loved him dearly, it was just she wasn't so sure how he felt anymore.

"Are you going out or something?" Serah turned to see Snow ,still clad in the Pjs he went to sleep in, look at the clothes that Serah strew all over their bedroom.

"Yes we are." Serah glided over to Snow and stood right in front of him.

"We are?"

"Of course we are, today is the light festival on the docks remember?" Snow slowly started to nod his head, but then shook it at the last minute when Serah looked away for a second.

"Oh that, I don't know if I want to go this year. I'm supposed to be meeting up with Gadot later today anyway, and we planned it for a long time." Snow couldn't meet Serah's eye which didn't go unnoticed by her.

"When were you going to tell me this you know we always go to this festival. Why would it be any different this year?" Serah tried her best not to raise her voice, but lately Snow was just making her so furious.

"I didn't think it was a tradition," Serah frowned at this, "but you know what I can always talk to Gadot tomorrow." Snow chuckled slightly.

"No it's okay you don't have to cancel your plans with Gadot."

"I don't?" Snow sounded a little too hopeful.

"No in fact I don't want you to go. I don't want to talk to you there or here, I want to forget about these last few days, and hopefully being apart from each other will make you realize what really matters most to you is right in front of you."

"Serah no I don't want it to be like that, I'll do whatever makes you happy." Serah threw her hands up in the air.

"This is exactly what I mean Snow, I don't want it to be where you don't say anything because of what you think will make me happy. I'm more mature now Snow, Lightning taught me that."

"Lightning taught you that?" Snow fought the urge the cross his arms, he couldn't believe that Serah he knew would look to Lightning for advice. The Serah he knew was different from the Lightning he knew, no the Lightning he thought he knew , he didn't really know anything about Lightning not even her real name.

"Yes, well not really voicing it but I've seen that she is strong through being observant through looking at others, and in our childhood she was always the strong one, and she always hid things from me, but now I want to be the one that sees reality."

"Serah you don't have to, I can protect you from all that, besides how do you know if Lightning wants you to be like her?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Well for one she may not like that side of herself, and have you ever thought that maybe she was strong to protect you from the troubles she had to go through to raise you, maybe she didn't want to be this way, maybe she just wants to be blissful like you are." Serah didn't reply for a moment, then she shook her head.

"No I don't believe that, she is the way she is because she wants to be that way."

Snow exasperated with the conversation finally let the subject drop, "I guess so, I don't know your sister like you do."

"I know, and besides I would have known if that's how she felt." Snow didn't reply so Serah took that as a queue to keep talking.

"Snow you don't have to go if you don't want to go. I won't force you." Snow raked his fingers through his blond hair.

"Serah I'm gonna go, I'll just tell Gadot that our plans to celebrate his new job promotion will have to wait."

"I didn't know he got promoted let alone had a job that wasn't involved with NORA."

"NORA is on a hiatus, the world just doesn't really need saving anymore."

Snow looked down thinking about all the good times he had in NORA, he just didn't want it to end. In NORA he felt like a hero, and now when the world is at peace it seems as if no one not even Serah wanted to be protected by him. He even felt a little out of place.

"You talk as if you miss being in NORA." Serah pointed out as she began to shuffle through her clothes again.

Snow took a long pause to answer

"No, No of course not, that is way behind me." He said with a soft chuckle and a wide gesture.

Serah looked back at him to give him a weird look, but Snow shrugged it off and reached over Serah to grab his clothes so he could change.


"I'm home Lightning!" Hope yelled into the house the second he came home. He was greeted with only the silence of the empty house. Hope clicked his tongue slightly as he set his house keys, and backpack on the table. Why was he not surprised that Lightning was not at the house? She always seemed to forget the time when he was supposed to be back from school.

"I didn't know you were home yet." Hope turned to see Lightning closing the front door, how come he didn't hear her come in, and why were her legs wet, and she looked different but Hope wasn't sure what it was but he just knew something about her was different.

"I just got in actually, so should I ask what were you doing today or do I not want to know the answer to this?" Hope sat down on the stool next to the counter in the kitchen.

"I walking that's all." Lightning walked past him to go to the bathroom to dry off. She had really counted on arriving back at the house before Hope did. She knew anything that went wrong with her would make him all over protective which was exactly what she didn't want right at this moment.

"Walking?" Hope asked as he jumped up to follow Lightning, but stopped in the hallway when he realized she was going to the bathroom.

"Yes just walking, is there something wrong with me taking a walk every now and then?" Hope smiled to himself.

"No, not at all," They stayed in silence until Lightning came out the bathroom.

"So how was school?" Lightning asked when she stopped in front of him. Hope gave her a mock annoyed look.

"Same as always, boring. It's just so hard to go back to being a normal teenager when I went through so many adult things. I feel like I'm being held back."

"Hope you know your parents would've wanted you to finish school, and at least try to have a few more years as a normal person."

"But I'm not a normal person I'm-"

"Hope no you aren't. Those days are behind us, we are safe there is no need to want to be a hero anymore."

"But-"

"Hope." Lightning said in a very stern expression letting him know that the conversation was over.

"So are you excited about the festival?"

"As excited as I'll ever be about a festival." Lightning said dead pan although in her mind she was glad that she would be able to see Sazh, Dajh, her sister, and -Snow again.

"Well, I'm surprised you're even going in the first place."

"I've always gone to festivals for as long as I could remember."

"But don't they remind you of your parents? I'm afraid if I go I'll be reminded of my Mother, I've forgiven Snow I have but still I can't help thinking that if things were different would she have survived or was it fate that she died that day?" Lightning wrapped him into a loose hug.

"Hope it's okay, I'm sure both your Mother and Father are happy right now, because they died protecting you, the most precious thing to both of them, and they wouldn't have it any other way." Hope nodded his head soaking in the words that Lightning said.

"I'm sure your parents feel the same way about you right now."

"Yes of course." Lightning said not even convincing herself.

"Either way the festival will be fun, and now we can think of it as a memento of our parents." Hope said hopefully as he pulled back from Lightning.


Thanks for the nice reviews, they pushed me to write despite my busy schedule. RR plus I promise the next chapters will be longer!