Jake
She's a good judge of character? Look at all of them trying not to snicker. They all know exactly what I am. They have known it for years. Something is seriously wrong with these women from out of town. Who looks at me and thinks "most likely to succeed?" That is almost as bizarre as a school teacher who looks at me and thinks "hero." Well, this group will set Mimi straight within the next few minutes. I am sure they all have dozens of stories that they are just dying to tell. We always have to make sure everyone knows just how much of a screw up Jake is. We wouldn't want anyone to be unprepared for their impending disappointment. I wonder if anyone has gotten to Heather yet? Aren't I just full of self pity today. Snap out of it. You've earned it; you live with it. What the heck was that between Eric and Mary Bailey? She saw it too? I didn't just imagine that?
. . .
We are supposed to be adults. You can stop playing tattletale for Dad any time now. It looks like everything is covered. They know what they are doing. They are the ones in charge after all. They don't need me around. I swear it's just like being back in high school today. Everybody standing around trading "can you believe what Jake did" stories, Eric being a little sneak and reporting back to Dad on what I have been up to, and nobody actually needing me to do anything. Things must be going back to normal.
. . .
She acts like it is so simple. I don't want to think about what happens when everything goes back to the way it was. She has been watching this back and forth for years. She has got to know that there is no place for me here when things go back to the way they were. Don't look at me like that. He isn't like you. You still look at me seeing what you think I could be. He looks at me and sees everything that he has always been afraid I'll end up being. I can't change that. It's not like I didn't try. I tried to make you the one that was right. You have always been right about most things, and I wanted you to be right about me. You think that telling him will make things better. I know that telling him will just show him that he was the one who was right all along. I can't do this right now. I know you aren't going to give it up. I know that you will just keep wearing me down later, but right now I just can't listen to it. You are setting yourself up to be disappointed, and I don't want to do that to you again. Secrets are better than watching what you are going to go through when all of your hopes get thrown back in your face.
Gail
Things might be getting back to normal now. That should be a happy thought, but it isn't. I know good and well what normal means for my family. I do not want that kind of normal back. I have tried really hard to not push him. He has no idea how hard I have tried to just let all of this run its course. He has no idea how hard it is for me to have not stepped in and taken control of the situation. I can't do it anymore. I won't do it anymore. I have given them ample time to work this out. If everything that is going on has not woken the two of them up to the fact that they do not have forever to straighten things out between them, then I am going to have to step in and wake them up myself. He is going to talk to me, and he is going to talk to his father. I don't care if they don't want to do it - too many things have happened to us in the past few days. I will not cut either of them any slack anymore. He will not leave this house again without talking to his father, and his father is going to listen. I am all out of patience. The two of them don't just carry a family stubborn streak. They build concrete walls around themselves. They can either make a choice to start tearing them down, or I can find some jackhammers. There are too many things that have been left unsaid for too long. It ends now.
. . .
What does that man think he's doing? He thought I wouldn't be back this soon. He thought he could get away with going out to that fire and that I wouldn't know anything about it. You would think that after this many years he would know that he can't get away with doing anything without my knowing about it. It's a good thing that they want you to stay here. You would be staying here anyway. I will let you go handle the power situation, then you and I are going to have a talk about our son. After that, you and I are going to have a talk about why you need to rest when you have the flu.
. . .
Why don't I ever put out the good silver? What were we waiting to have happen? What makes a day special enough for us to use the special silverware? My son is home today. That's special. My other son and daughter are coming to stay with us. That's special. We are all having dinner together. That's special. I know where all of them are. That's special. All of us are alive. That's special. My husband and my son are going to really, truly talk to each other tonight - that's a miracle. This is definitely a good silver kind of day.
Heather
It worked. They're all here. They all need some normalcy in their lives - even if I'm not exactly sure what kind of normal we are going to be getting. Poor Emily. I bet it's going to be a lot harder for her to get her high school kids back to school. Is she conscious? Is she breathing? I need to get them away from the fire, but I can't leave her. I guess we get to see how well I did teaching them emergency drills. Calm voice, simple directions, and a direct order to get them moving. Done. Well, it worked for all but one of them. Superpowers? As much as that might come in handy right about now, I don't think anyone is going to be waking up with superpowers today. We'll settle for just waking up. Let April take care of Emily, and you get your focus back on your kids. Wait. Something's wrong. Head check. That's one short. Ashlee. Where's Ashlee? She went back inside? Wasn't that our first rule of fire safety? Never go back into the burning building? We didn't skip that part, did we? I should have been watching them better. Where is she? Thank goodness. Now I just have to get her out of here. Be calm. Don't let her know what's wrong with the door. I know I taught them what that means. Just keep her close to the floor. Try to block the smoke until help comes. It'll come.
Johnston
They want us to sit and wait. Do they really expect anyone to follow such lousy directions? People who sit and wait generally find that those are the last things that they ever do. Are we supposed to wait on help from the government? What kind of help is a little town in Kansas going to get from a government that is more than likely dealing with a countrywide crisis? They are going to have to prioritize their resources, and nobody in their right mind would put us at the top of their priority list. We will just have to keep doing whatever we can to take care of ourselves until the situation is resolved - whenever that happens. He looks almost disappointed. Does he think that he is the only one that knows how to take charge and handle things around here? I have been doing this leadership stuff for a lot longer than he has. I know what needs to be taken care of while we have still got electricity. I know that we don't know how long it will stay on. I know what I am doing.
. . .
She is not supposed to be here. She was supposed to be out taking care of the horses. Why is she not still out taking care of the horses? I swear that woman has spies keeping tabs on me. Now what? We weren't supposed to have to have this discussion because she wasn't supposed to know I was going. Don't you look at me like I am one of the boys you just caught trying to sneak out of the house. I am not doing anything wrong. I am just doing my job. You see - that's the radio. They need my help. You can't argue with that. Fine. They need my help here. I'll be staying because this is where I can be helpful - not because you want to coddle me because of some little coughing spells. Who am I kidding? She wins; she always wins eventually. How does she do that?
. . .
She is right. I have been watching him since all this craziness started. I do like what I have been seeing. It can't hurt to tell him that. I told him that I would realize that he was a grown up when he did, and I'm a man of my word. If someone had told me that boy was going to be all the things that I have seen over the past few days, I would not have believed it. She did tell me, and I didn't believe it. I guess I had to see it myself. I doubt he's going to want to tell me how he got to this point - even I can see that he's carrying around some baggage. I'll just keep it short and to the point. I hate these touchy, feely conversations. Those were always supposed to be Gail's part of the job. We're gonna need a drink.
Mimi
How does anybody sleep without background noise? Doesn't anyone notice that when there aren't any other sounds you have to listen to all the thoughts sloshing around in your brain? It was nice to not have to sit up alone this time. Farmer boy is sweet. It's a pity he has no sense for finances. It's the power first, the phones second, and then the planes, trains, or buses. I don't care which one it is. I am getting out of here. I'm going home. I'll be returning to civilization in the now foreseeable future. I can wear different clothes. I will be able to sleep again.
. . .
What is that expression all about? Why wouldn't I be excited about going home? Surely, you can understand that. If you had been trapped somewhere when all of this started, you would be gleefully celebrating your prospects of getting out of wherever you were as well. No, dear boy, filing your account information will not be my first order of business - that will be a bubble bath. For the last time, this is just my job. I'm not the one who makes the rules. I just follow them.
. . .
Oh sweetie, he has you suckered. I recognize the symptoms. You're right. This isn't my business. I'm just doing my good deed for the day. It will not be that simple. It's never that simple. You don't have to listen. It's no skin off my nose. I just passed on the reality check.
April
What is he thinking? I meant for him to have the firefighters check on her. I didn't mean that he should go rushing into a burning building. He didn't even take any of the gear with him. Where are they? I have to get in there. What is this? They don't notice when he goes rushing into the fire, but me they stop? He might be hurt. He might need me. He has to make it out of there. I can't lose him. I will try harder to make things better. I will stop questioning the way he is making decisions. I will stop doubting his priorities. I will do anything. Please just let him come walking back out of that door. Something has to have gone wrong. Why aren't any of the firemen going in to help them? What are they waiting for? We were so angry the last time we spoke to each other. It can't end like that. I have to tell him that I am sorry. I have to tell him that I didn't mean for things to get this way. I have to tell him that I want to make it better. Please just walk out the door. Please. I should be thinking about this little girl. I should be checking her over and making sure that she is fine. I know I should, but I just can't tear my eyes away from him. I almost lost him. He was almost gone. We almost never got a chance to fix everything. Why did we waste so much time not trying to fix things? She will be fine. She just got some smoke. Heather just needed to have her hand bandaged. I don't know what he needs because he won't slow down long enough to let me take care of him. He is just like his father that way. How has Gail put up with this so well for so long? I know that I was bargaining back there. I know that people usually don't follow through on any of those things that they say when they are doing that. I am not going to take any of it back. I have never felt so empty in my life as I just felt thinking that he wasn't coming back to me. I didn't lose him in the fire, and I'm not going to lose him to whatever it is that we've let build up between us. I will back him on his decision to not send anyone to the fire near our home. I will back him because I know he is doing his best to put the town first, and I will back him because I know that he needs me to agree with him on this. I meant what I said.
. . .
Why didn't those papers burn? It's explanation time. You have to find some way to put everything you have been thinking and feeling these past few days into words that he can understand.
Dale
Just because I am walking away from you does not mean that I suddenly can't hear what you're saying anymore. I'm not Bonnie. I don't have to see your lips moving to know when you are talking about me. Why does she like me? That's a simple question to answer. She doesn't - not when you people are around anyway. Did she just invite me to go hang out with her? Where her friends could see? That's just too weird, and I have work to do. Mrs. Leigh needs me, and she doesn't pick and choose when it's convenient to like having me around. That wasn't nice. She's trying.
. . .
Everything is gone. There is no home to go to anymore. It was just a stupid trailer. She hated that we didn't have a real house. My room is gone. She let me have the bigger bedroom because she said that I needed more space for my stuff. Why didn't I ever tell her thank you for that? The bathroom door that stuck whenever you pulled it closed too hard is gone. She used to let a cuss word slip out whenever that happened. That stereo that I saved up for forever is gone. Why didn't I do something nice for her instead? That library book that I was supposed to take back last week is gone. Reminding me to return it was on the list of things to do that she left me when she went on her trip. That dorky sweater that I wore around the house so that she wouldn't know that I actually hated it and would rather die than wear it in public is gone. That stupid scrapbook of all my artwork from elementary school that she would put stuff in after she took it off of the fridge is gone. All of the pictures of the two of us are gone. The answering machine tape is gone. I am really never going to hear her voice again. She is gone, and everything that I had left to remind me of her is gone. There is nothing that I can do about it. I can't get any of it back. It's just gone. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to break down and start crying in the middle of the store? That is not going to change any of it. It is not going to bring back my home. It is not going to bring back her. There is no point in screaming or kicking or hitting things. It is not going to do any good. Throwing a tantrum has never gotten me anything that I have wanted before, and it sure isn't going to get me anything now. I am not your charity case. I don't need your help. I don't need anybody's help. I can take care of myself. I have to take care of myself. Don't get mad at her. It's not her fault; she's on her own too.
Ashlee
Does all that smoke mean that there is a fire inside the library? Fires burn paper. Mom always puts the old newspapers in our fireplace at home. They turn into ashes. Is that what is going to happen to all the books? We haven't finished Alice at story time yet. I don't know what happens at the end. If it burns up in the fire, does that mean that we never get to finish it? How come the firemen aren't here? Miss Lisinski says our buddies are always supposed to know where we are, so I'll tell Lucas that I am going to rescue Alice. That way I'm following the safety rules, and Miss Lisinski won't be mad at me. See there's not even a fire in the kid's room. Where's that book? Why aren't the firemen coming? How did the fire sneak up behind me? The fireman that came to our class said if we couldn't see a way to get out that we should stay in one spot and wait for them to come to us. Why haven't they come yet? Miss Lisinski looks scared. Is she mad at me? Why is the fireman angry? Does he know I broke the safety rules? If the fireman can't get us out, what's going to happen to us? The firemen are always supposed to know what to do. I'm sorry I came in the building. I won't ever do it again. I promise. I just wanna go home now.
Mary
I knew it was all going to work out. I knew it all was just the confusion of everything happening all at once. It was just the stress taking its toll. He just needed a little push, and now everything is going to be back to normal. It's even going to be better than what used to be normal. We are finally going to be moving forward. There will be no more sneaking around, no more hiding, and no more pretending that we aren't absolutely crazy about each other. I won't have to settle for stolen moments here and there. There'll be no more leaving me in the middle of the night to go "home." From now on, going home for him means coming home with me. It'll just be us, together, living our lives. I have waited so long for this, and it is finally going to happen. It is all going to happen tonight. There's no more waiting for a vague, far off someday. Someday is in just a few short hours.
. . .
What does she know about it? She doesn't know Eric. She doesn't know us. It isn't any of her business anyway. We'll be fine. What does she mean girls like us? She doesn't know anything about me. She's just a miserable, intoxicated woman who's trying to bring everybody else down with her. Everything is going to be perfect starting tonight. I know it is. He wouldn't lie to me. He loves me. I love him. That's all that matters. Just ignore her.
. . .
I am so closing early tonight. I can't stand around listening to people whine about their problems today. Tonight will be all about celebrating. I don't have to give a reason to close early. It's my bar. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to explain that to anybody. He should be here any minute. She had to have gotten away from the clinic by now. They both already knew it was over. He said so. They just need to tell each other that they know that. It shouldn't take that long. They will probably both be relieved to have everything out in the open. I'm sure they will. They can both move on and be happy this way. She's probably been looking for a way to start up the conversation. She'll be happy that he's taking the initiative. The whole shelter thing was just a fluke. That was just her dealing with being upset about everything that was happening. I'm sure it was. We were all thinking things we didn't really mean that day. I can understand that. The important thing is that they can both stop pretending now. Everyone will be happy. Whatever kind of announcement is coming, I don't have to listen to it alone. He'll be with me - all the time from now until forever. It can't be. There's no way. He couldn't have not told her. He can't put me through this again. He promised.
Stanley
I have been really nice to her. I even sat up all night playing cards with her. I'm trying to be a nice guy and do the right thing here. That's got to count for something, right? Shouldn't she be softening up a little? Why is she in such a hurry to get out of here? I mean it might be the end of the world as we know it out there - collecting back taxes can't possibly be at the top of anyone's to do list, can it? She's not volunteering any information, so I guess I am going to have to come right out and ask.
. . .
He's seriously scaring me here. Where exactly has he been? I'm not buying that army story anymore. What does he mean how do I not know that? We have well water. Why would I know the details of how the city pumping stations work? Who pays attention to that? Leverage? Now that is a word that I understand. That I can handle. I can get you leverage. I guess I should probably make sure that it's unloaded first - safety first and all that. Don't tell me to relax. Have you seen how many accidents happen around you? Just take care of my Christmas present.
. . .
That's not fair. I want to know what's happening just as badly as everyone else does. There are dozens of other people in here. Why do I have to be the errand runner? Oh, that's why.
Darcy
You never did like to not be in control of the situation. Look at you. Someone needs to come pull you out of that hole you are digging. I haven't decided yet whether I am willing to be that someone. I have been on my own with these children for four years. Let's be honest - I was on my own with these children for a lot longer than that. I didn't have anyone backing me up. I didn't have anyone to help me when I got it wrong. I had to figure it out as I went. Did you ever understand what this whole being a parent situation is like? You sure aren't acting like it now. It's amusing watching you being routed by our teenage daughter. I'm probably enjoying seeing it just a little too much for it to be in good taste for me to admit to it. I am not going to feel guilty about that. You owe me way more than that.
That was a rhetorical "why" by the way. Giving her an answer is just going to get you some eye rolling and a possible door slamming. She is not going to give you any room for making errors. She is not going to be that forgiving. You can't just show back up in her life and expect her to say how high when you say jump. If it were just about me, I think I would just let you hang yourself in the mess you are making. It is not about me though. It hasn't been about me for years. It's about them. It wasn't fair that they had so much of their childhoods with no father. If you are serious about changing that, if you are serious about making an effort, then I might just have to help you. You never were very good at taking advice. I'm not going to push. You'll figure out that what you're doing with her isn't working soon enough. Less talking and more listening? She got older while you were off doing who knows what. She is a teenager. That's part of the package.
Sam will be easier for you. He is a lot younger that Alli, and he remembers a lot less about what things used to be like. He's not carrying a grudge. He just has to get used to you being around, and he will accept it. Play some games and read some stories and he will open up for you. She is not going to let you off that easily. You are going to have to get her to forgive you first. If you really want this, you are going to have to be willing to work for it. She is not just going to accept that she can trust you. You are going to have to show her that she can trust you. You are going to have to show me that I can trust you. So, start showing us.
Back to Jake
What is he doing? He spotted me; I must be getting sloppy. Don't think you are going to threaten me. I don't scare off that easily. We both know that if you had nothing to be worried about that you would not be having this conversation with me. I don't have time for this right now. Just get in the truck. I still don't trust you. I don't even particularly want to have your help, but I don't mind having you where I can keep an eye on you. Do you think I don't know what you are doing? Do you think I don't recognize when I'm being pumped for information? Do you think you're dealing with an amateur here? I know I am not dealing with an amateur - that's what worries me. You are clearly a professional. The question is what kind of professional are you?
I don't give him enough credit? Maybe I don't, but he doesn't exactly give me any leeway either. Do I really have anything to lose here? He already thinks what he thinks. I will just be handing him some more cement to shore up what he believes. I can't sink any lower in his estimation, so what is the problem with telling him? She could be right. Maybe it is time to just lay everything out on the table and let it all fall where it may. It will make her happy at least. The two of us shouldn't be able to get any worse. If nothing else, he will actually know. He won't be guessing about what horrible things I may have been up to anymore. That has got to be better, right? Stop stalling. She is not going to let you get by without talking to him this time. She has made up her mind, and we all know she doesn't back down. This is going to happen sooner or later. It might as well be sooner. It can just be over with. This is going to change nothing. Maybe she will stop pushing us when she sees that. He has always expected the worst from me, and he has always been right. But, he should know that I did try. I wanted to be the person she thought I could be. Even if I never made that happen, the fact that I tried has got to count for something, doesn't it? See, he doesn't even want to hear. I knew there was a reason that we have never had this conversation. He knows what he knows - he doesn't need any more evidence to support that. Wait, what was that? What has Mom done to him? Is he saying what I think he is saying? Is he saying that he is happy that I am home? Is he saying that he is glad that I am here to help? Is he saying that he is starting to look at me like she does? Is that even possible?
