Freedom is a funny thing. Your either free or enslaved. Is there anything in between? Or is it always one way or the other? I'm not sure where to put myself to be honest. The girl with all the freedom in the world or the girl who's trapped forever. I want to be the first of the two. But I honestly don't think I ever was or will be.
I remember some time ago with Garret. Garret was one of my distant uncles. He lived in the Denali coven along with his mate Kate and their other coven members.
Garret was human around the time of the Revolutionary War. He used to tell me stories of what it was like. How a thirteen year old boy only needed a gun and he could run off and fight.
Okay so maybe I wouldn't do that. But the idea that you could just go off and do what ever you wanted and at such a young age always fascinated me.
I haven't seen much of the Denali coven anymore though. None of us Cullens did. About two years ago at a Christmas party grandma Esme threw, dad and aunt Tanya got caught under the mistletoe. They shared a quick peck but my mother was not pleased about it.
They argued and argued until the Denali's just left. We haven't heard a peep out of them since then. It's really too bad, I really did enjoy their company.
Which is why I have a hard time understanding my mother. She has the perfect life, a family, unlimited money, a big house, immortality, her husband. Really who else lives like that?
Who wants a little bit of drama and conflict here, here and hmm, how about here? Okay shows over go live in your great big house and smile all the time.
I'm the add on to that fairytale. The 'beautiful' daughter of Isabella Swan/ Cullen and of course Edward Cullen. I'm there blessing, apparently.
Perfect and beautiful. I hear it on a daily basis and it makes me sick.
I'm not perfect. And I'm damn proud. I'd rather grow from failure.
If I wasn't so beautiful, which I'm not so sure I am, then maybe I could live a some what normal life.
The angry hiss slips through my sharp teeth. The teeth that could very well end a human life in a fraction of a second, if I so choose. Which I don't.
"Nessie?"
I blink. Crap, Jake. He heard my involuntary hiss.
"Yah?"
"You okay there?"
"Peachy, and you?"
Out of the corner of my eye I see him roll his eyes. "I was asking what you thought Leah and I should do for our next date?" Oh that.
Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater had started dating a few months ago, and of course my parents as well as Billy Black all expected me to give an epic long speech about just how much I really loved Jacob. That'll be the day.
Right. As a matter of fact, I was quite pleased when I heard the two were going out. Leah cooled down. Jake lightened up.
"Do something sweet. Go to dinner or a movie. I don't really know. But make it all sweet and romantic."
He nodded. We walked and talked for a little while longer and it was about twenty minutes later when I took off. I ran for only a few minutes, if I was a full vampire, it would have only taken me one minute. Nevertheless the open glass house soon came into view.
I wonder if it's that? The vast openness of this house, that if I were to walk into a small closet or any small space really, the claustrophobia kicks in.
Aunt Alice is standing in front of the house, her pixie hair sticks out in all directions, with smooth pale skin and a small nose. She's leaning against a tree, picking at the petals of a sunflower. She sees me and smiles. "I wouldn't recommend going in there." She gives out a slightly forced laugh.
"What's going on?" I ask making my way towards her.
"Your mothers quite shocked at your lack of interest in the human and vampire men that you see," she looked down at my rubber rain boots, "And she's convinced your playing for the other team." Alice added. She was probably unhappy with my style today, but hey in my defence when I left the house it was pouring buckets. I blushed looking down at my feet when I heard the word 'lesbian' called out. I began to kick the ground up a little, pushing the soggy grass up and then the moist dirt. The fact that they were talking about my preference in men or women not only offended me but embarrassed me.
I walked over to her, leaning against the tree myself. They had conversations like this all the time. My mother was convinced I was like⦠well like that. But honestly I'm not. I just don't see a lot of guys. But who would when you had three scary older 'brothers'? I sighed.
They all fought over what they thought I should do for education, when and what I should eat, how I should approach this or that, what I should wear, where I should be and when, hell they even fought over what time of day I should wake up at.
Alice smiled. "Perk up kiddo, things could be worse." I nodded. I suppose they could be worse. Suppose being the key word. There was a loud BANG noise followed by silence, followed by more yells. I glanced at Alice, she could hear the drama much better than me.
"Bella got angry and smashed the coffee table. I suppose its okay, Esme wanted to update the furniture, but everybody's still rather peeved she broke it." I nodded. Esme tended to avoid conflicts, so did grandpa Carlisle. As for my aunts and uncles, they did the most fighting. Which is why it surprised me to find Alice out here.
Alice pushed herself off the bark of the tree. "What do you say Nessie? Time to hunt?"
I smiled, matching her Cheshire cat like expression. "Lets do this."
X
X
X
We returned a few hours later, the house was silent, no yells or calls. Alice and I walked in to the sight of Emmet and Jasper lounging in front of the TV watching some game. Alice hoped next to Jasper. His arms wrapped around her. "Night guys."
I heard a couple 'good nights' before stumbling upstairs. I vaguely noticed the lack of the usual coffee table.
I'd moved out of my parents cottage a couple years ago. My excuse was that I wanted a bigger room. Really, my higher senses just picked up. Yah, ewe.
When I got to my room I flipped on the light switch. I stripped down, kicking my messy clothes into the general direction of the laundry basket. Throwing on a random pair of sweats and a t shirt. Then, feeling more and more tired, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. With that all out of the way the lights went out and I crawled into the toasty warm and inviting sheets of my bed.
That was my favourite. With the fan on and an open window, the room stayed quite cool. Added with the warm blanket draped over my body, sleep had no trouble fining me.
The dreams as usual, were a like a puddle. Already so unclear, then added with a poke, ripples shot through making it all the more impossible to make out anything in particular. All you could really see were colours. Tonight they took on the preference of green and red.
Green was there more than likely because it was my favourite color. The shade of life and, what I thought of as peace.
And the red? Why was that there? It terrifies me. Red is the color of blood. It is the color of a vampires eyes when they murder humans. It is the color of death.
